Disclaimer: I own nothing excpet Leroy.

The OC Tyrin belongs to craiger250, who has kindly given me permission to use him for this chapter.

Leroy rolled a cart full of large slimed egg props across the alien movie set.

"Hurry up," he called to someone behind him, "we don't have all day!"

"Take it easy, I'm new." His companion said. He was a dark-skinned boy with black hair arranged in dreadlocks, wearing an aviator hat, a green T-shirt, a pair of blue pants, and green sneakers. He, like Leroy, was also pushing a cart full of the egg props. The two walked until they reached a large room marked on Leroy's Intern's Eye.

"Okay Tyrin," Leroy said, "be careful with these now, they're breakable."

The intern known as Tyrin nodded as they carefully dumped the eggs into the room before they left. Tyrin went off to the staff area while Leroy made a beeline for the craft services tent (he already had breakfast).

In the craft services tent, Chef was currently serving scrambled eggs, soggy bacon, and burned toast for breakfast. Chef served Heather the food, then Harold, then DJ.

"Keep the line moving, lovebirds." Duncan said to Geoff and Bridgette, who apparently, were making out again. The couple responded by moving away so Duncan could get breakfast.

"More eggs and bacon for me. Keep 'em coming, Chef." DJ said. A glare from the cook and the brickhouse just walked away.

"Forgot how hungry I got last year eating on Chris' wrecked schedule." Duncan said as he got his breakfast.

"I know," Gwen added, "got to the point where I'd kill for Chef's disgusting food. No offense, Chef."

"None taken." The hulking man said as he deliberately dropped her scoop of scrambled eggs to the ground.

"You can have my burned toast, big mouth." Duncan offered.

"Judging from that gut, I thought you'd be all over the extra carbs." She replied.

"Nice." Duncan laughed.

"You can have my toast, Gwen." Trent walked up to her.

"Thanks, but I can't take enemy toast."

"Enemies? We're not enemies."

"In this game, we're all enemies." Duncan quipped.

"Except for me and Gwen. I'll always have her back, no matter what."

"Right back at ya, babe."

"I'll remind you two of that when the money's being divied up." Duncan walked away, followed by a smirking Gwen and a glaring Trent.

Leroy looked back at the counter and saw that Chef was now serving pancakes (since he ran out of eggs, bacon and toast). Izzy was pouring ketchup on her stack.

"That is so wrong." Lindsay commented.

"SO wrong." Beth added.

"In battle we put ketchup on everything," Izzy said, "covers the taste of murder."

"My new nail polish is murder," Lindsay said, "isn't it hot?"

"Grey is so totally your color!" Beth complimented.

"Okay, that's thirteen," Leroy said as he checked a list. "where's Owen?"

Said 296 pounds of joy entered the tent. However, he wasn't looking like himself.

"Ugh," he moaned, "no eggs and bacon for me, Chef. I'll just have this…nice bowl of prunes." He grabbed the nearby bowl off the counter.

Everyone in the room (including Leroy) gasped. Owen noticed the stares that everyone was giving him. "What?"

Confessional

Leroy-(shocked) "That was the most…un-Owen-ish thing I've ever heard him say..."

Owen-"My uh…plumbing's been clogged ever since I ate all those fake food props. Pressure buildup's killing me!" (he tries to fart) "Come on, colon, don't fail me now!" (he farts) "Oh, I hear bells!"

Soon, all fourteen contestants were seated as Chris entered the tent.

"Welcome to day two of Total! Drama! Action!" Chris announced.

"Are you gonna do that every time?" Duncan asked in annoyance.

"Yes, yes I will."

"Alright then."

"Today's movie genre: Aliens! Our unpaid interns, sans Leroy, have been hard at work figuring out what makes an alien movie successful. Chef?"

"You've got three basic rules," Chef said, "Aliens wanna take over the world qnd start makin' lots of baby aliens. People fight back. And the military's called in." he threw a scoop of his usual green slop into Owen's face. "Yo Chris, where's my paycheck at?"

"It's…in the mail." Chris lied.

Chef's scowl only deepened.

"Come to think of it, he never gave me mine, either." Leroy whispered.

"Today's challenge: Find an alien egg and return to home base before Mama Alien finds you!" Chris announced. "The two fastest get to pick the teams this season."

"Sorry losers," Duncan said, "but no one knows alien movies like I do. The more obscure, the better."

"I'm gonna blend up those noggin aliens, and have 'em for breakfast!" Gwen said.

"Dude, Alien Chunks is my favorite alien movie of all time!"

"Me too! I've seen it 27 times!"

"53."

"You'll be tough to beat, but I have my lucky charm."

Confessional

Gwen-"I love to see Alien Chunks, where they turn the aliens into fruity-blended drinks. I even have the necklace."

"I like the movie where the aliens take over the government." Trent quipped, "Take me to your leader."

"Oh dude, you are so going down." Duncan said.

"But it was a good movie! Right?" he turned his head to Gwen. "Gwen?"

"Uh, okay," she muttered, "this is kinda awkward."

"Yo Chris," DJ asked, "you got some laser shootin' monster playin' Mama Alien?"

"Not quite." At that moment, Chef walked back to the counter, now wearing a large green alien costume.

Confessional

Leroy-"We were gonna use this cool alien robot that I invented for the challenge, but we had some uh…technical difficulties, so we went with plan B."

"You call that slime?" Chris waved his finger, referring to Chef. "Make up! More slime over here!"

Green slime suddenly dropped down from the ceiling and onto Chef.

"I hate my life." He grumbled.

"Here are your GPS devices, complete with maps of the film lot." Chris said as he tossed the tablet-like devices, which somewhat resembled Leroy's Intern's Eye. "Find the alien eggs, but be careful! Because today, you're all on Chef's menu!"

Chef chuckled darkly.

"Leroy," Chris instructed, "show them where the alien studio is."

Leroy led the campers to studio 2A, AKA the alien movie shooting studio.

"Here's how it works," he instructed, "the GPS devices will show you the directions to the boiler room, where the eggs are located. You'll know you're getting closer if the dots turn green. Also, you'll all be given a five-minute headstart before Chef hunts you down with his paintball slime gun. If you're slimed, you're out, simple as that. Your five minutes starts…now!"

The campers all rushed into the building. All but two.

"Um, Mr. and Ms. Make-out?" Leroy said to Bridgette and Geoff, both still making out, "The challenge already started."

The blonde couple just walked right in the studio. Leroy walked over to the control room to watch.

Leroy checked a camera, which was focusing on the main group as they walked through the cold tunnels of the set.

"Hey, follow me," Izzy said, "I know aliens, uh-huh. I've been abducted loads of times. There's a tracking device in my neck, see?"

Harold looked closely at her neck. "Does it hurt?"

"Only when I hiccup." She hiccupped, and a small sparking sound was heard. "Ow."

Leshawna stooped to look at a large metal door and shivered. "Can you feel that? It's like, there's somethin' in there, cold as ice, with no soul."

"Thanks," Chris said from the control room, "now take that!" he pressed on the nearby keyboard, which caused cold air to suddenly dispense from one of the pipes. Harold jumped into Leshawna's arms.

Confessional

Leshawna-"I've already told that skinny little tadpole that things between us aren't meant to be! Guess he can't get over the lusciousness that is Leshawna."

Harold-"I'm pretty sure Leshawna isn't over me yet. I see the way she looks at me, like she's un-pantsing me with her eyes. Her beautiful brown eyes, and chocolate omelet-oh!"

At the back of the group, Heather was shaking her device. "How come we're the only dots on the screen? Where's Chef?"

"How did you get in our group?" Justin asked.

"There are no groups yet. Plus, there's only one way we can go."

Confessional

Beth and Lindsay- Beth-"Even though Heather can be really mean, that doesn't mean we should be mean back, right? Someone said that you can lead a sheep to water, but you can't make it nice." Lindsay-"That is so deep."

Just then, an odd sucking sound was heard.

Gwen shushed the group, at which point Owen suddenly farted.

"Oh yes! First one! Smell it!" he noticed the other glares. "Sorry."

"What is that?" Trent asked, referring to the noise.

"Ever since I got my braces off, I don't make that sound anymore!" Beth said.

Confessional

Leroy-"Huh, didn't recognize that until now."

"Chris, is that you!" Leshawna said.

"I get blamed for everything." Chris replied.

"It must be Chef," Duncan said to Gwen, "you wanna run, or you wanna kick some alien butt?"

"Let's kick some alien butt!" Gwen replied enthusiastically.

"Ahem!"

"Trent, any thoughts?"

"Yeah, let's kick some alien butt!" Trent said not so enthusiastically.

"Huh?" Leroy said, "but Chef isn't on yet."

"So, who wants to go first?" Harold asked.

"Please, after you." Leshawna replied.

"After you," DJ said to Owen. "I insist."

"Don't worry Izzy," he said to her, "I'll protect you."

Izzy suddenly grabbed his arm and flipped him over.

"It's Kaleidoscope," she corrected, "E-Scope for short."

"Yes sir E-Scope sir!" Owen saluted.

"Okay," DJ muttered, "let's do this! Momma, if you're listening, you can have my limited edition Raptor's Draft cards! They're worth some serious coins!"

"I didn't suffer through eight years of braces, headgear, saliva spit and ridicule from my peers so I can hide from life!" Beth declared angrily as she stormed past.

"You go girl!" Leshawna cheered.

"Watch out alien Chef, 'cause here comes Beth!" she rounded the corner only to discover the true source of the noise: Bridgette and Geoff making out, again.

Leroy and Chris laughed.

"Oh. It's just Bridgette and Geoff!" she yelled to the others.

"Aw nice." Duncan complained, "Don't you two ever get sick of sucking face?"

No response.

"I'm thinking that's a no." Owen said.

"Enough messing around, we've got alien eggs to capture!" Gwen said.

Confessional

Gwen-"I wasn't worried about Chef, alien costume or not. I mean, I did place second last year. I know exactly what I'm doing."

"Good thing we're all lined up in a row, huh?" Gwen said.

"Ready for Chef to pick us off, one at a time." Trent added.

"We've really gotta work on our strategizing."

Just then, an alarm sounded, with the word "DANGER!" being repeated across the hall.

"That's my cue," Leroy muttered. "Attention soon-to-be-slimed contestants!" he announced into an intercom, "Chef is now in play! Be careful now, 'cuz he's comin' after ya!"

"Let's get out of here!" Heather exclaimed.

"Which way do we go?" Justin asked.

"North is nice, but east is least; west is best!" Lindsay suggested.

"Can't argue with that," Leshawna said, "we don't even know how to!" she, Justin, and Beth followed Lindsay in the same direction.

"Map says the boiler rooms east of here." Gwen said.

"Alien eggs are always in the boiler room." Duncan added.

"Uh, yeah, totally, east it is." Trent said nervously as he, Duncan, Gwen and DJ ran off in that direction. Bridgette and Geoff attempted to follow them.

"Where do you think you're going?" Duncan asked them.

"With you, to the boiler room." Bridgette replied.

"Sorry, but the lovebirds are on their own."

The blonde couple gasped.

Confessional

Duncan-"In any alien flick, the kissing couple's always the first to go. There's no way Romeo and Juliet are gonna ruin my chances at a million big ones, uh-uh."

"This is it, baby," Geoff told Bridgette, "better make it good!"

"That is the most romantic thing I ever heard!" Bridgette cried before the two went into another make-out session.

Leroy saw that Chef had now entered the field, wielding a paintball gun in pursuit of the contestants.

Meanwhile, a group consisting of Harold, Heather, Izzy and Owen walked by and saw the kissing blonde couple.

"Snap out of it," Heather ordered, "if we don't band together, we are gonna lose this challenge! Now who's with me?"

"Uh, it's hard to say." Owen replied, "Does 'being with you' imply some sort of alliance?"

"Because we don't like you." Izzy added.

"Okay, okay, forget being 'with me', who's willing to walk beside me, in usual pursuit of our goals, with no commitment of any kind?"

"I can agree to that." Owen replied.

"Count me in." Harold added.

Chef tried to sneak up on Harold from the ceiling, but he fell.

"Did anyone else hear that?" Harold asked, in defensive mode.

Confessional

Harold-"I may not be the best looking guy, or the best dressed, or the most buff. But I get my butt kicked a lot, so my senses are totally heightened. I can sense when something's coming. Nothing gets by me."

Chef tapped Harold's shoulder and the lanky nerd immediately came face to face with him.

"Say hello to eternity!" Chef said before he blasted Harold with the paintball gun.

"I'm hit! I'm hit!" he yelled.

"And Harold is the first one out!" Leroy shouted into the intercom.

Owen's stomach gurgled. "It's time!" he ran up to Chef. "Take me out! I beg you, it's an emergency!"

Chef shrugged before promptly shooting him once.

"And Owen is the second victim to Chef's paintballs!" Leroy announced.

"Oh thank you, thank you! Make way, coming through!" as he ran out of the area, Geoff dropped Bridgette after smelling the farts that he left behind.

Confessional

Owen-"Man, I didn't think I was gonna make it! But these bowels never let me down. Great job, guys!" (he farts) "Oh, I think there's more. Coming through!" (he dashes out. An offscreen hand sprays the area with air freshener after he leaves.)

Chef grinned menacingly as he approached Heather and Izzy.

"I am not going down without a fight, you glorified dung beetle-lizard-whatever!" Heather said as she grabbed Izzy's shoulders.

"One of us isn't getting out of here clean!" Izzy said as she brought out a paintball gun of her own.

"You call that a paintball gun?" Chef questioned as he threw away his weapon and backflipped. When he landed, he wielded a much larger weapon in his hands. "This is a paintball gun!"

"Fun! I love this game!" Izzy said as she threw away her paintball gun in exchange for one similar to Chef's.

"Okay, well I'll just let you two have at it." Heather said as she backed away.

"If I can handle hand-to-paw combat with a polar bear," Izzy said, "I can handle a bald, emotionally withdrawn cook in a Halloween costume!"

"Who are you callin' a cook?" Chef replied as he began shooting; Izzy backflipped to avoid the shots and returned fire, which Chef narrowly dodged. He began firing again, before one of his shots hit Izzy in the chest, sending her down to the floor, seemingly dead. Chef gasped, before Izzy revealed that she was faking and laughed.

"I thought you were dead." Chef commented.

"Yeah, I get that a lot." Izzy responded.

"After a short duel," Leroy announced, "Izzy is out for the count!"

"E-Scope!" she yelled.

"Whatever!"

"What was that?" Chris said. "Where are the guts? The gore? I'll fix it." He removed the beret he was wearing in exchange for a camo cap and looked in the mirror. "I really should wear camo more often." He muttered before running out of the room.

Meanwhile, Chef walked up to Geoff and Bridgette. "Aw, watchin' you love like that." He mumbled. Bridgette could only look on in shock before Chef blasted them.

"A double whammy for Chef!" Leroy announced, "Bridgette and Geoff are out!"

Leroy saw Duncan on another monitor. "Eh, knew they were toast." He commented to Leroy's announcement.

Leroy checked on another monitor, this one showing the boiler room. Duncan, Gwen, DJ, and Trent entered.

Leroy checked on another monitor. This one showed Heather walking alone. She looked around as she continued on straight. After a while, she turned around and ran as Chef chased her.

"This is for last season," he yelled, "when you put laxatives in my brownies!The only thing that can get people to run is my uncooked meat!"

Chef shot Heather at the back, sending her down and her wig flying to the grated floor.

"MY WIG!" she yelled. She tried to reach it, but it was too late as it fell through.

"NO!" she screamed, horrified, She noticed a camera. "Don't look at me!"

Confessional

Heather-"Ever since my head was shave last season, my hair is growing in all patchy and uneven. I've tried everything: lotions, lasers, traditional Burmese medicine…" (she takes a sip of the medicine out of a cup and promptly spits it out and throws the mug away)

Leroy checked another camera and saw Leshawna, Lindsay, Justin and Beth entering what was not the boiler room.

"Um, how did we get here?" Lindsay asked.

"If we knew, we wouldn't be lost." Justin replied.

"You are so smart Justin, and goregeous!"

Beth and Leshawna agreed to Lindsay's comment.

Leroy, seeing all this, chuckled and pressed a button. The door suddenly shut tight, leaving the group trapped in.

"Chef, they fell for it." Leroy said into a walkie-talkie.

"I hate to be the bearer of big bad alien new," Leshawna said, "but I think this may be a trap." The girl clung on to Justin in fear.

Leroy saw Chef on another monitor.

"We gotta hire an effects crew." Chef muttered as he attached a pipe and turned the knob. Slime suddenly poured from the sprinklers in the rooms Leshawna, Lindsay, Justin and Beth were in, dousing all four.

"Our special trap room douses all in slime," Leroy said, "Leshawna, Lindsay, Justin and Beth are all out!"

"Ooh, feels so good." Justin rubbed the slime all over his body.

"Looks even better." Beth commented.

Confessional

Beth-"You know what? Models are people too! We stare at them, but they've got feelings, just like the rest of us! They've got hopes, and dreams. My dream is to marry Justin. My mom says that if I concentrate really hard, one day, all of my dreams will come true!"

Leroy-(looks weirded out) "I have no comment."

On another monitor, Leroy saw the four unscathed campers reaching the pit where he had poured the alien eggs earlier.

"Wow, they look so…real." Trent commented.

"Woohoo! We won!" DJ cheered.

"No so fast, big guy," Duncan interrupted, "we still have to get the eggs back to home base."

Leroy checked his own GPS device that he had beforehand. "Attention," he said into the intercom, "Chef is nearing the boiler room! Better make it quick!"

"Quick, lower me down!" Gwen told Trent. He complied as Gwen reached down and tried to grab an egg, but it broke apart.

"Ever heard of plastic props?!" she grumbled as she successfully grabbed another one, as well as three more for everyone else.

Just then, the door opened again and Chef peered inside. The campers could only gasp before Chef shot DJ in the back, causing him to tumble to the floor and his egg to shatter.

"Save yourselves!" DJ yelled as Chef chased the remaining three out of the room.

Leroy ran out of the control room just in time to see the remaining three run out of the studio. A helicopter flied overhead.

"Attention civilians," Chris announced from the helicopter, "the military is here to protect you now! Unfortunately, we can't let you leave with any alien eggs!"

"But we're supposed to take the alien eggs; that's what you said!" Trent retorted.

"Right, I did! Hahaha!"

At that moment, Chris dropped two slime bombs into the area.

"Incoming!" Duncan yelled as the bombs hit the ground. Leroy barely avoided the blast zone with his jetpack.

"Woo, glad I don't have to clean it up." Chris commented.

When it all cleared, Leroy saw that Duncan was completely slimed, while Gwen and Trent managed to hide behind some barrels (they were in the western movie set) and came out unscathed.

"Does this mean I'm out?" Duncan asked.

"Yes, yes it does." Leroy replied.

"Too bad, so sad." Gwen taunted, "More money for me."

"Ooh, down for the count."

Confessional

Trent-"Duncan is always acting like such a tough guy. Ooh, you got a Mohawk, oh, you're so tough, bud. Yeah, hairspray is really manly. I love seeing Gwen stick it to Duncan. She's so awesome, I'd do anything for her."

"Oh no, our alien eggs!" Gwen exclaimed as she realized that they had lost their eggs in the skirmish.

Duncan immediately spotted an alien egg, lying dangerously on a wooden plank atop a dazed Chef.

"I'm on it!" he said.

"No, I'm on it!" Trent rushed past Duncan to try and grab the egg.

"My necklace, it's gone!" Gwen exclaimed.

Trent paused to look for said necklace, which was dangling on a sewer hole, in danger of falling in. Trent looked to the alien egg as Chef was getting up, and then to the dangling necklace. Eventually, he saw one item slip and fall, but he managed to save it just in time. Gwen smiled as Trent reached down to grab her necklace.

Confessional

Gwen-"I know this is gonna sound really girly, but I was seriously touched when Trent chose my necklace over the egg. Most guys would've gone for the win."

"Personally, I would've picked the win." Duncan scoffed just as the alien egg fell on Chef's head and shattered.

"Sorry about losing the egg," Trent said to Gwen.

"Thanks for saving my necklace." Gwen replied. "I want you to have it, for luck. It suits you."

"You three gave it a valiant effort," Chris said as he landed on the ground using a parachute, "but, you're still losers!"

Trent looked over and saw two more alien eggs lying near the plank. "Not so fast Chris, looks like my good luck charm is working already." He grabbed the eggs and tossed one to Gwen. "Gwen, meet you at home base!"

Chef tried to grab him, but he missed. "I'll get you next time!"

"Can't you do anything right?" Chris scolded.

"Where's my money, hm? GIVE ME MY MONEY!" this was enough to send the host running in a panic.

Leroy followed Gwen and Trent as they ran back to the cast trailers, where everyone else was waiting.

"We have our two winners!" Chris announced. "Our only two winners!" he continued as a fuming Duncan walked past. "The rest of you really stink! As our winners, Gwen and Trent will now be able to pick their teams, which means, they'll be competing against each other this season!"

"Aw dude, no!" Trent complained.

"Bet you didn't see that one coming! After we vote off two cast members in the most thrilling Gilded Chris ceremony yet-"

Everyone gasped.

"Yes, you heard me. I said two! I'm liking the twos today. Must be Tuesday!"

The castmates all rolled their eyes. Leroy raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I don't get paid to write this show." Chris shrugged.

At nighttime, all 14 contestants sat at the bleachers in the Gilded Chris ceremony. Leroy and Tyrin played an orchestral tune as it began.

"Is that really necessary?" Duncan asked.

"Yes, yes it is." Leroy replied as he kicked the instruments away.

"It's time to cast your votes," Chris said. "Under your seats you'll find your voting devices. Just press the button of the person you want voted off. Oh, and no peeking, or it's 'na na, na na na na, hey hey, goodbye'."

"Time to get voting!" Leroy said.

All the campers began pressing buttons. Soon, a machine printed out the results. Leroy gave the paper to Chris.

"The votes have been cast!" Chris announced.

Just then, Chef walked onstage, holding twelve Gilded Chrises in his hands. He was wearing a large pink dress, with a pink Chef's hat to match. Leroy and Tyrin could barely hold their laughter, as did everybody else.

"If you get a Gilded Chris, it means you're safe," Chris continued, "for now. And the Gilded Chrises go to…"

"Trent." Leroy tossed one to said musician.

"Gwen." Leroy tossed another to said Goth.

"Harold."

"Duncan."

"and Izzy."

"E-Scope!" she corrected.

"Fine, E-Scope. Lindsay, Justin and Beth are also safe."

Both girls cheered and hugged Justin. Lindsay's hit her on the head, while Beth and Justin caught theirs.

"So is Owen, my man!"

"Aw, thanks Chris," the blonde teen said, "and thanks Chef, for doing what the prunes couldn't."

"Next is DJ."

"Surprisingly Heather."

"And last but not least…"

Leshawna looked worried. Bridgette looked worried as well, but Geoff gave her a reassuring smile."

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Leshawna!"

Leshawna cheered and hugged Geoff and Bridgette, but quickly pulled away as Leroy threw the final Gilded Chris to her.

"B-but I thought everyone like us?" Bridgette stammered.

"'Liked' bring the operative word." Duncan replied.

Confessional

Duncan-"I know exactly who's gonna get it this week." (he hugs himself and makes kissing noises)

Lindsay-(holding up three fingers) "Two words: Bridgette and Geoff."

DJ-"At least they'll have each other."

Leroy-"Sometimes, I wonder if those two ever stop to breathe."

"Any final words?" Chris asked the blonde couple. They shrugged and began to make out, again.

"Just…go already." Leroy said.

Geoff and Bridgette got up, still making out, and made their way into the Lame-O-Sine as they tumbled in. Chef closed the door as it drove away.

"Who will Gwen and Trent pick for their teams?" Chris narrated. "Will Izzy ever answer to her actual name? Will Owen finally get some lunch?" ("Thank you!" the blonde teen said offscreen) "Tune in next time for another exciting episode of Total…Drama…Action!"

"Well, I guess that's it for tonight," Leroy said to the contestants, "so go get some sleep. Big days await ya!"

I probably would've posted this sooner hadn't my computer been slowing down sometimes. Ah well.

Anyways, review...yeah, you get the idea.