Chapter 2 : In Half

Rose's POV

"What? Why?"

"Rose, sit down," Dimitri said calmly. I hadn't even realized I had stood up.

"Well, he's the only spirit-user we know of that can go on this trip. He'll be useful because he'll be able to detect the spirit-users and he might understand them better, and be able to help them," Lissa said.

"Couldn't we find anyone else? Do you want to make my life a living hell?" I asked. "Adrian is perpetually drunk or high off those damn cigarettes. He couldn't spot another spirit-user if his life depended on it!"

Okay, that was a little mean. He had even given those up for me when we were dating but I'm pretty sure the last time I had talked to him he had reverted to his old ways.

"She kind of has a point," Christian said quietly. Lissa shot him an icy glare and he backed off.

"Exactly," I pointed out, my anger not subsiding.

Adrian made me feel like a hurricane. Like a whirlwind of emotions. One minute I was pissed off at the way things ended and his unforgiveness and on the other hand, I was sad that he was no longer a part of my life. I couldn't make up my mind firmly about how I felt. Which is why, nightmares aside, I had tried to forget anything had ever happened.

"He needs this, Rose. A distraction from-" Lissa couldn't finish her sentence.

"From what I did to him. It's okay, you can say it. It's what everyone's always thinking, but too scared to say. I hurt him. I know I did," I said, my voice rising out of frustration.

"Roza."

It was a soft word whispered in my ear, but instantly, my anger had ebbed away and I was calm again.

"You need to relax and think about this. Let's just go okay?" Dimitri said softly.

"Okay," I agreed.

"I wish it didn't have to be like this," Lissa sympathized in that quiet, compassionate way she had.

"It's alright. I just freaked out for a second. Does he know that Dimitri and I are coming anyway?" I asked.

"No, not yet. I'll tell him if you guys say yes. If you guys say no... I may have to scrap this idea and wait a little while longer," she said, the weight of her words resting in my mind.

She was trying to make me understand that this was important and probably her only chance to accomplish this.

I was harboring a massive headache by the time Dimitri and I got back home.

"Here," Dimitri said as he handed me some pills and a glass of water.

"Thanks," I replied and lay back on our bed.

"I know you're upset but that's why we need to think about this, together," he said. "I'm less than thrilled about going anywhere with Adrian especially after what happened. But our desire to help Lissa is greater and honestly it will only be a few weeks then we can go back to normal."

"Dimitri, this isn't normal. I mean, I actually loved Adrian and it tears me up inside to think that I did this great terrible thing to him when in reality we just happened to be in the wrong relationship at the wrong time. Sometimes I wonder if he was lying to himself," I sighed.

"Lying to himself?" Dimitri questioned.

"Yes. I gave up everything for you. School, guardianship, my freedom, all so I could get you back. Because when you were gone it hurt me so badly. Nothing else mattered except having you back. I could face the reppercussions, as long as I had you by my side. Half of my crazy quests are the reason I'm here today happy and whole and I'd do it all again in a heartbeat because I love you that much. With Adrian, I never had to risk anything and he didn't understand me," I said, pouring my heart out.

"While I'm glad to hear you say that. Promise me that you will not go on another crazy adventure looking for me. I remember specifically telling you not to look for me after I turned and I might as well have not said it at all," Dimitri said.

He was dead serious. Him being Strigoi was a touchy subject. In all fairness, I had kind of liked his Strigoi personality. He was so open and unrestricted with me but in the end he was evil and undead. Besides, I had made a promise to kill him. I couldn't afford to get attached. But that was dangerous, even for me. I had almost been turned by force, I liked to believe he wouldn't have made good on his promise to kill me.

"You of all people know I never listen," I countered.

"Will you listen to me now?" he asked gently and kissed my lips, his body so close, melting me.

"Probably not, but this is nice," I smiled.

Dimitri smiled back and kissed me once more before pulling away.

I opened my eyes and pouted.

"You're cute when you want a kiss," he commented with a laugh.

"I'm not cute and I want much more than a kiss," I told him haughtily.

Dimitri raised an eyebrow but didn't press further.

"So what do you say?" he asked.

"Yes," I groaned and pushed my face into my pillow to let him know that I wasn't exactly happy about it.

"I'll make it up to you every night until we leave," he said. I was up in a heartbeat.

"There's my Roza," he said, brushing my hair back and kissing my forehead.

"Comrade," I murmured, pulling him close to me.

No matter how amazing life with Dimitri was, nothing compared to the fact that he was all mine. He made me feel as if I could do anything. Without him, I could live, but was it really living when half of your heart was gone away?

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