A/N: Okay, during my last Slushie Shot, I got quite a few comments on 'Vagina Loyalty'. Now, as hilarious as that line is, it's actually not mine. Guys, guys, I'm not that clever. And although I say it more than I should (it's like a more adult version of 'Girl Code' or whatever), I don't own it.

The Guild, a webseries available on YouTube, owns it. You should totally watch it, it's hilarious.

Anyway, this one takes place whenever you want it to. There's sort of an established Puck/Rachel/Kurt friendship. Um, maybe I should have mentioned this earlier, but most of these won't take place one right after another. There will be random ones, and some may fit canon and some may be AU. I actually really don't even know what I'm going to write. I'll try to leave a little A/N at the beginning for a head's up.

"I cannot believe you, Noah Puckerman! What you did was—was—argh!"

"Dude, did I just make you speechless?"

"Noah Puckerman, you wipe that smirk off your face right now! My impressive vocabulary may have left me momentarily, but it'll come back, Noah, and it'll come back with a vengeance!"

"Is it weird that I find it hot when you hiss 'vengeance' like that?"

A pause. And then thump.

"Ow! Berry, I'm injured enough here, alright?"

"You're still able to make your smartass remarks. You're obviously not injured enough."

"Whatever."

Rachel crossed her arms over her chest and glared down her nose at Puck, who was sitting haphazardly in a chair. The only thing 'off' about the situation would probably be Puck's numerous scrapes and cuts on his face and arms, along with a bloody lip and his right eye was beginning to darken rapidly.

She ran a hand through her hair and let out a ragged sigh. "Are you positive that you're okay?"

"Fine, Berry, fine."

Before Rachel could say another word, Kurt came running into the choir room, the door banging off the wall and slamming close again behind. "Is his face okay?" Kurt demanded, eyes looking around for Puck frantically.

"Kurt? Calm down," Rachel murmured quietly and calmly. "Pugnacious Puck will be fine. Now, did you bring the first aid kit?"

"Here," Kurt said in a breathless whisper, thrusting the white, metal box into Rachel's chest. "Also, the alliteration was cute."

Puck wrinkled his nose. "Pugnacious Puck? Worse superhero name ever," he muttered.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "And yet it fits you so perfectly," she said dryly.

Kurt turned to his scuffed up teammate. "Oh, Puck, look at what they did to your face." Kurt looked like someone had just told him that they hated Beyonce.

Puck rolled his eyes. "I'm fine, Hummel, now stop hitting on me," was his response. He wasn't even bothered by the fact that Kurt was attracted to him; because really, who could blame the poor kid? Puck was just a fine piece of ass.

"Rachel—"

"I'll be able to fix up his injuries so that they'll heal up just fine. His face will be as good as new, promise," Rachel assured Kurt.

"Oh, thank god!" the Fashionista wailed, flinging his arms around Puck's neck dramatically.

Puck suddenly became alarmed, holding his arms as far away from Kurt as possible. "Hummel, dude, you're not gonna cry, are you?"

Kurt stood up and spun on his heel to face Rachel. "I'll leave you to your work, Nurse Berry." And then he mouthed 'I expect full details about this whole incident. As soon as possible.' "I'll tell Tanaka and the others where you are, Puck. But I'll leave out the bit about the fight," he said smoothly.

Rachel tried not to roll her eyes due to her friend's obsession with gossip. As soon as Kurt left the room, she rounded on Puck thrust the opened first aid kit into his hands. "Are you going to tell me what happened now?" she asked as she grabbed the cleaning alcohol. She poured a bit onto some cotton and began dabbing gently at the cut on his temple.

"Ow! What the hell was that?" He yelled, jerking his head and shoving her arm away.

She frowned at his reaction. "It's just some cleaning alcohol." She went to clean a cut on his left cheek, when he jerked to the right. "Noah, don't be a child and let me clean your cuts properly," she admonished.

"It stings," he pouted.

If she hadn't been so frustrated with his immaturity and his refusal to tell her what the heck happened, she would have thought it was cute. Maybe.

She sighed and looked at him. "Why won't you tell me why you got into a fight?"

He squirmed in his seat. "…'Cause."

She frowned and furrowed her brow at him. "That's not an excuse."

"Can't I just go to football practice?"

"No, you certainly may not! You may join your fellow teammates once you tell me why you engaged in fisticuffs."

"Fisti-wha—?"

"Fight, Noah, it means fight."

He let out a frustrated sigh and ran both hands through his Mohawk. "They were talking shit."

Rachel leveled her gaze at him. "About?" she pressed gently.

Puck crossed his arms over his broad chest and looked down and away. He grumbled something under his breath.

Rachel looked confused. "I'm sorry?"

Puck looked like he was about to tear his hair out. "…about Glee…and you…and…it just—" he paused, sucking in a huge breath "—and it just bothered me, okay?" he mumbled defensively.

She hesitated. "What—what did they say?" she asked curiously.

He shrugged a shoulder and replied, "I dunno. They said shitty things about Glee and when one of them mentioned your name, I kind of…just swung my fist."

She stared at him. "You didn't even know what they were going to say about me?"

"I did," he said flatly. "We used to run in the same circles, after all. I just didn't wanna hear it today."

She paused, letting everything he'd just said soak in. "That's sweet," Rachel finally said. "In a barbaric, Neanderthal way." And she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before dabbing more alcohol onto his cuts.

"Ow! Dammit, Berry!"