"Pourquoi?" Sasori asked, rubbing his temples. "Pourquoi moi, pourquoi moi?" Deidara didn't quite know what it meant, but he had a feeling it was a rhetorical question. Either way, the redhead didn't seem to be in a very good mood.

After all, they were now successfully lost in London.

Alone.

And, if you wanted to be technical, it was Deidara's fault.

But it really wasn't his fault, of course. He was a foreigner and had no idea that they sold cigarettes in vending machines here, for basically anyone to buy! In fact, he was more than awed at it. He had had some problems in America concerning lighters and a few home-made Molotov cocktails, but damn, if he could have legally (or easily) gotten cigarettes and burned them it might've been avoided. Truth was, Deidara had always wanted to start smoking, if only for the social status and the excuse to whip out a lighter at random times.

"Why, why did you want to stop at zat machine, anyway?" Sasori hissed, his accent thicker than ever. But at least he was speaking English. "You are a child. You should not be smoking."

"Hey, I'm an American, yeah. Stereotype signifies that Americans smoke," Deidara retorted. The redhead just grabbed him by the wrist, trying to drag him away from the cigarette machine before he could dig out the necessary change to buy some.

"It is unhealthy and a stupid zing to start!" he ground out, playing tug-of-war with the American's arm. "Just because I am French does not mean zat I smoke and drink wine all of ze time! Stereotypes are idiotic and you should not change your actions to match zem!"

"Well you certainly have the snobby part of the French down, yeah." Deidara let go of the vending machine, albeit a bit grumpily. Sasori let go of him as if burned, narrowing his eyes. The blonde just glared defiantly back, drawing himself up so their slight height difference was more prominent. He smirked down at the shorter student.

Sasori just crossed his arms, glaring back up at him. He tapped his foot impatiently. "Well?"

"Well what?" he asked, caught off guard by the tone of his voice.

He rolled his eyes, and sighed. "Nevermind. Let's just go--we need to find a payphone to call Kabuto."

-.-.-

Kabuto was hyperventilating. Which he really couldn't remember doing ever before; it was an interesting experience. Or rather, it would have been, if his brain wasn't being overloaded with oxygen right now. And if his mind wasn't elsewhere, anyway.

He could have kissed Sasori when he finally found them again. (Judging on the redhead's dark expression, though, that probably wouldn't have been a wise move.) Instead, he was almost tempted to kiss Kakashi. Because of how relieved he was, of course.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god…Oh god, I'm hyperventilating. That's not good." Kabuto told them all. Sasori nodded boredly, crossing his arms. Kakashi and Deidara watched with varying amounts of amusement and worry.

"It is quite amusing zat you can diagnose yourself even while you are still 'yperventilating, Kabuto," he remarked dryly.

"Sh-Shut up, Sasori. You know how much trouble we could have been in."

They were back at the dorm, now. Illegally, Kakashi had driven them back, because Kabuto probably would have had a heart attack if he'd had to have any more responsibility lobbed on his shoulders right then. He was still mildly panicking. Still, all four of them made it home safely. With not nearly enough clothes to last the first month, but they could get more in a more local shop if need be. Kabuto obviously wasn't planning on taking them back to London any time soon.

Kakashi ran a hand through his hair, the other planting itself on his hip. "We are so goddamn lucky that no one found out. What was that lady's name? Tsunami?"

"Tsunade," Sasori corrected immediately, standing up a little straighter. Apparently the thought that they'd get caught hadn't crossed his mind. "Oui…"

There was a knock on the door.

Four teenagers simultaneously jumped, Deidara falling backward in his chair and landing hard on his back. Sasori, the closest to the door, hesitantly opened it a crack, peeking out with one eye.

For a moment, they all feared the worst, and their rather short lives flashed before their eyes.

"Offen die tür, you bastards!" Sasori was practically thrown aside as the door opened completely, slamming against the wall with what sounded too much like a gunshot for their fragile minds.

The voice was flawlessly English, though the words before were flawlessly…whatever the hell they were. Kabuto hung his head, sighing in obvious relief. Deidara was picking himself up off of the ground, mouthing the foreign words as he tried to figure out what they meant. Then he looked over his shoulder at who had said them.

He was easily the tallest in the room, and much more muscular than any of the others. Along with that intimidation factor, he had blue hair. It was gelled slightly so it stuck straight up at odd angles, and yet it was still held back by a very interesting headband. His eyes were a pale yellow, practically colorless, and all in all, the two Americans were pretty much scared shitless as he strode purposely into the room.

This stranger looked around for a few moments, and then locked on to Sasori, who had somehow wound up behind him and was trying to edge out the door. "Sasori!" he boomed, and leapt back over to grab the French student. He grabbed him around the shoulders, steering him effortlessly back into the room. Deidara was fairly certain he'd heard something crack when this intimidating stranger grabbed him, however.

Deidara and Kakashi both moved behind Kabuto unconsciously, keeping a barrier between them and the intruder.

"Introduce me, introduce me, introduce me, introduce me, now, damnit! Hurry up you lazy-ass Frenchie! I can't believe you two kept fucking Americans away from me for so long!" he rambled on, pushing Sasori up until he was standing in front of Kabuto--and the two trembling Americans. He then stood back, and waited impatiently for the introduction. Boot clicking as he tapped it, this blue-haired stranger was certainly…strange.

Kakashi and Deidara paled in unison when they finally recognized his outfit. Kabuto looked like he wanted to grab the nearest weapon and stab whoever this was. Sasori looked like he'd rather be anywhere but here.

"Kisame--what are you wearing?" Kabuto asked. His voice was calm, but you had to be deaf to miss the undercurrent of rage.

"Ehh? This? I thought I'd just wear this today--"

"Bullshit!" Kabuto stood up angrily, crossing his arms. "My god, are you trying to get someone shot here?"

Kakashi leaned over and whispered to Deidara, "Looks like we aren't the only ones who are looking to cause an international incident."

Kisame--if that was what this German student was named--shrugged, and didn't look too overly concerned that he might get deported. (Because it was now very obvious that he was, in fact, German.)

"I thought it was amusing." Sasori interjected with a chuckle. Kabuto gave him a glare that could peel paint.

"Well, look at it this way." Kisame said calmly, holding up his hands in mock surrender. He waited a bit too long to continue. "When the two Japanese students get here in December, then we can reenact World War II."

"Hey!" Sasori growled, before Kabuto cut him off.

"Look, you just barged in here, wearing a goddamn Nazi uniform and you think you can get away with jokes?! You're lucky I don't report you to Tsunade--"

"Kabuto, sweetie? May I intervene before you decide to nuke Germany?" Kakashi put a calming hand on his boyfriend's shoulders, steering him towards the bed. The silver-haired Brit looked up at him mutinously, though didn't say anything else. "Look, it was a funny joke. No need to get so caught up. You're just upset because of the London incident, right…?" With one hand behind his back so Kabuto couldn't see, he gestured the others out of the room.

Sasori eagerly vanished, and was halfway down the hall before either Kisame or Deidara could flee the scene as well.

Kakashi wished they'd at least shut the door, but he didn't trust himself to let go of Kabuto just yet. So he just sat down on the bed beside him, and wrapped his arms around his shoulders comfortingly. "Look, we've all had a stressful day. I'm sorry. If I hadn't been pouncing on you so often, then they wouldn't have gotten lost in the first place. But see? We all made it back, no one's in trouble, and the German kid just wanted to say hi to the Americans…"

"Yeah…Kisame's been looking forward to your arrival for some time…" Kabuto admitted reluctantly. At least he wasn't hyperventilating anymore. Now, he just felt tired. "You are the first Americans he's met in person, and I suppose he wanted to see what you were like…"

"Me?" Kakashi couldn't help but blink in surprise. He hadn't expected Kabuto to tell others about him, but then he realized that he might as well take what he could get. It was cute, and it saved him a lot of awkward explaining.

"U-Um, yes. Anyway, I'm sorry." Kabuto hastily scooted away from him, rather red-faced. "I suppose I overreacted, but I was stressed out. …Needless to say, none of this day happened, as far as Tsunade is concerned."

"Oh, but of course." Kakashi took it in stride, giving him a wink and a grin. "Now, is this lady really so bad?"

"You've never met her. She's a titan. You'll have to meet her eventually, though, probably during orientation. All of the foreign exchange students go up in front of the school and either introduce themselves or just say how much the like the school…formalities, you know…"

"We have to…get up in front of a crowd?" Kakashi swallowed audibly, and suddenly looked a bit paler.

Kabuto was a bit surprised, but then smirked and leaned in a bit. "Oh my…is the great Kakashi Hatake scared of public speaking?"

"Of course not!" He laughed it off.

-.-.-

Kisame turned out to be a German foreign exchange student--though that much had been obvious by his introduction in a Nazi uniform. He assured them quite fervently that he wasn't a Nazi, and it was more of a practical joke than anything. He loved scaring the newbies; Kisame had been here the second longest out of any of the exchange students, only after Sasori. He seemed pretty easygoing, though he liked to swear and punch things a lot.

"Yeah, I only came to this country because I was practically kicked out of Germany," he told them quite innocently. "Bunch of shit about gang fights and stuff. I had to go into a reform program, and things just escalated from there. And I ended up in England."

Kakashi rolled his eyes at the explanation, though Deidara turned an interesting shade of pink and hastily shoved the lighter back in his pocket.

"Oui, quite the delinquent." Sasori likewise rolled his eyes.

"Of course, it's not exactly a reform program we're running here, but we can't exactly tell other countries what to do with their children," Kabuto said quickly, stamping out any negative ideas they might have had about the school. Kisame and Sasori both nodded as well.

"Oh, I don't think that would have worried us at all." Kakashi smiled, and Deidara looked away rather guiltily. "The nerve of some countries, sending their trash overseas."

"Technically, Germany isn't really 'overseas' from England--we're next to France, and that's just across the English Channel," Kisame replied with an equally vapid smile. "So then how did you two little angels get here, ja?"

Kabuto moved a bit closer to Kakashi, visibly miffed about someone else calling him an 'angel'. This, of course, had Kakashi grinning rather like an idiot. "Well, I met this little angel--it seems as if we're all just angels here, except for the delinquent--online some time ago, and there was an exchange program at my school, and with a great deal of luck, we managed to end up at this school. It was fate, obviously."

Kisame leaned over towards Sasori, asking in an overly loud whisper, "Are all Americans this sappy?" The French student shrugged with a smirk.

Deidara huffed, crossing his arms. He had worn the 'dress-shirt', as he called it, today. Mostly to bug Sasori. And indeed, he saw the redhead's eyes look at him from time to time, making a rather amusing half scowl, half pout.

"While we're on the topic," Kabuto said quite casually, though it was obvious he'd been planning on asking this for some time, "Deidara, how did you get added on to this trip? From what I managed to get from Kakashi, it seems like it was a very last-minute deal."

"Oh…yeah, it was…" He felt nervous now, though it was alleviated slightly by Kisame's mere presence. Maybe foreign exchange students weren't all goody-goody, honors kids… "It was pretty much a rushed job, yeah."

"…And why?" Kabuto inquired politely, though he was hell bent on getting a straight answer. And not only for his own curiosity; Tsunade would want to know. At least, she should be somewhat worried if an extra kid was running around her hallways.

"Well…you know, Kakashi and I don't go to the same school. In fact, my school wasn't even offering the program, and I had never thought about heading somewhere else for my junior year, yeah," he started, rather slowly. He kept his eyes either on the ceiling or the floor, avoiding eye contact. "Then…it just sort of snowballed."

"…Pardon?" Sasori asked, perplexed.

"Yeah…what?" Kisame echoed.

"What, exactly, snowballed?" Kabuto inquired, much more politely than either of his counterparts. Kakashi smirked, and hastily hid it behind his hand.

"I had a bit of a…Kisame complex, yeah." Deidara shrugged it off as nothing. "Some shit with some pyromaniac tendencies and a few, uh, accidents involving various explosives." Since he was met with blank, somewhat shocked, stares, he quickly amended, "Oh--nothing major, of course, yeah! Just like a few small arson cases and a problem with a backfiring Molotov cocktail."

"…Small arson cases?" Kabuto repeated. Kakashi ducked his head, somewhat embarrassed by the whole situation. It wasn't like Deidara was a bad kid, really he wasn't, but he just had some…pyro tendencies, as he so aptly put it. Luckily, he'd already confiscated all of the lighters he could find, and hopefully now the others could keep an eye on him as well. No need to be causing an international incident, after all…

"Merde," Sasori said simply, shaking his head.

Kisame, however, was still stuck on, "…Kisame complex? I have my own problem named after me now?"

"Yeah, sorry about this. He was stuck in the program because he had the choice of doing better in school--and joining a required minimum of at least one extracurricular activity--or going to juvie." Judging from the three foreign students' expressions, Kakashi quickly clarified, "Juvenile reform school."

"…Ah. Tsunade should probably be notified of that," Kabuto said finally, nodding slightly. Deidara scowled.

"I only joined this stupid program because I didn't want to stay with how things were back at home. I promise that I won't set fire to anything while I'm over here, but it's not like you have to chuck me in jail or anything, yeah."

"I hardly doubt you'd go to jail, Deidara," the British teen said primly, absently pulling on his sleeve's cuff. "I'm just going to make sure Tsunade knows about this situation. I'm sure nothing serious will come of it."

"Yeah, yeah." The blonde shrugged again, and stretched, mumbling something that sounded like 'like I haven't heard that one before' under his breath. "So then, now that we have all that shit out of the way, when do we get to register for classes? What kind of art programs do you have over here?"

Sasori perked up slightly at the mention of art, but said nothing. Kisame grinned, and instead spoke for him. "Class registration starts next week. So you're an artist, huh? What a coincidence."

The redhead irritably punched him in the arm. Kisame returned it--with interest. It was enough to knock Sasori off balance, and backward onto the floor off of his chair. The blue-haired German laughed at him, and Sasori responded by elbowing his chair leg, so he sent him toppling over as well. Soon enough it had degraded into little more than a brawl, and Kabuto just sighed. "Come on, ignore them. They do this quite frequently."

The two Americans edged carefully around the two, listening in something like awe at all of the barely coherent German and French they were suddenly learning. Most of it probably wasn't suitable for repetition. "So…why are they fighting? I think we missed something," Kakashi said carefully, yanking his foot out of the way to avoid getting tripped.

"Sasori--umm, nevermind. It's just a foreign thing." Kabuto was suddenly smiling quite cheerfully, and ushered Kakashi and Deidara out of the room quite hastily. Turning around over his shoulder, he hissed, "Break it up, you two. I already covered for you once, Sasori--you owe me. And Kisame, if you try something like that uniform again, I'll deport your arse so fast it's not even funny."

-.-.-

Kisame left the four, begging out with some vague mention of other plans. Sasori didn't seem particularly sad to see him go. "Oh, don't mind them. They're actually quite good friends. They were both the only foreign exchange students for about a semester, so they bonded in that time. Bonded by trauma, probably," Kabuto explained with an overly cheery smile. "I feel sorry for them, actually. I wasn't here to induct them, so to speak, so Hidan had to take over for me."

"…Who's Hidan?"

Kabuto chuckled, though it didn't sound particularly delighted this time. "Ohh…my assistant, if it could be called that. You'll probably meet him later…I'll hold introductions during the registration, so you can meet the staff there and the other foreign exchange students."

"How many others are there?" Kakashi asked. Truth be told, he really was curious about other countries. Unlike Deidara, he hadn't been forced into the program. He was actually using it as a learning experience, rather than an escape.

"Hmm…let's see." Kabuto actually had to start counting on his fingers. "Two from Russia, arrived earlier this summer, two from Spain, one from Nepal, two coming in at semester from Japan, Kisame from Germany, and then we just have one from Ireland who visits occasionally. And we've had family from a bunch of the students come up to visit once or twice…Sasori, that reminds me. Is your family coming up again for Christmas?"

"Non, c'est pas possible," he sighed, though didn't sound terribly sad. "Since I am going back next summer, they think I can--'ow you say--toughen it out this year."

"Oh, I see. Oh well." Kabuto shrugged. "Since you two are only staying a year, your families probably won't come to visit, will they?"

Deidara snorted sardonically, which was all the answer he needed. Kakashi rubbed the back of his head, smiling uncertainly. "I don't think so. Though I wouldn't put it past mom. She was sobbing when I left for the airport…"

"Parents are normally like that." Kabuto smiled wistfully, looking away. "…Which reminds me! The dormitory has a computer room, and all of the computers have webcams and microphones. So if you want to go talk to your family, you may do so at any point."

Having been there a few days already, Kakashi and Deidara were practically tripping over each other to head to said room. Probably not to check up on their families--rather, their email.

-.-.-

Note: Right now, I am primarily relying on an online translator for my german. Of course, this sucks and is why Kisame didn't speak much german. So if any of you speak german--even conversational!--and want to help, please do so. ;w; (also: my french is probably horribly rusty, but I think I can handle that. I also have a connection for russian, but I'm stuck on japanese (past the basics), spanish, and nepali. if you can help, please drop me a review or PM...)