A/N: This has ended up much longer than I first intended and I'm sorry it took so long but it was a lot harder than I expected. This is re-write number 3 so am putting it out before I start number 4, I didn't want it to be a 'he said, she said' because we all know what they said – well those of us that have watched the scene a few times like me (well a few hundred in my case) but I wanted to stick within the boundaries of what we know – just expand on the bits where I felt I'd been robbed, but I didn't want to end up with a sex instruction manual either, so decided not to get too explicit …. I also didn't do CJ's p.o.v., there's a suggestion that we could go there, but it will depend on whether anyone wants it, and in the meantime I'm going back to the Barn …

-OG-

She'd spent a whole lot of the last week thinking and worrying and then worrying a bit more about what she was going to wear and what to do with her hair and gob because she'd badly wanted him to see her at her best. Or better than that really because her best wasn't all that to write home about, and apart from that shitty horrible pink thing and her dodgy hair-do with flowers, he'd never seen her wearing anything except army gear or a West Ham shirt.

She'd also spent a lot of time rehearsing in her head what she was going to talk to him about, although she forgot all of it the minute she clapped eyes on him and they'd begun to have one conversation with their words and another one, the important one, with their eyes. The one thing she hadn't spent any time at all thinking about was that he'd only just got out of hospital and how close he'd come to dying on her. It was only when she saw how shit he looked, he'd gone deadly pale with beads of sweat on his face, that she realised just how much effort it was for him to climb the bloody stairs that her heart clenched.

.

"You alright?"

"Of course I am ...…. why wouldn't I be?"

She knew she shouldn't have bothered to ask, that she might of bloody known he'd say something like that and use that snotty tone of voice he was so good at, his Rupert voice.

"Dunno .. just wondering" She considered the very real possibility that she was going to end up holding him up at the top of the stairs and that he was a hell of a lot heavier than her "It's just ...thought you looked a bit ... shit, so if you're going to keel over on me we need to get away from the top of these bloody stairs, I don't fancy ending up falling down 'em"

"You and your falling down the fucking stairs…. I'm fine, I'm not about to keel over as you so eloquently put it"

"If you say so" Her tone suggested that no matter how shitty he got with her she was still going to think he was talking complete bollocks "And if I knew what that word meant, I'd probably agree with you"

"What?"

"Whatever it was you just said" She shrugged "Look, you know best ... probably ... so ..." She took a deep breath and pinned a non-committal smile on her face as if she was just a bit interested "Does it still hurt, stupid question, course it does"

He was beginning to look a lot more like himself by the time he let go of the newel post, his colour had come back and to Molly's utter relief he'd started to move from the potential disaster zone that was the top of the stairs, jerking his head inviting her to follow him. But she wasn't the only one who was taken aback at his level of exhaustion, it was the first time he'd done the stairs without stopping at least once to rest his leg, and he hadn't expected it to be anything like as hard as it had been, but the last thing he wanted was her sympathy. He absolutely loathed the idea that she would feel sorry for him when what he wanted was for her to see him the way she always had.

"Sorry ... "

He wanted to say something about how he shouldn't have taken it out on her, he'd seen the look on her face when he'd snapped like that, but old habits die very hard so he smiled apologetically instead and hoped she'd understand that he hadn't meant to upset her, that underneath he knew it was because she cared.

"I expect I'll live"

"Yeah, expect you will... so ... that's alright then, innit?"

She knew he hadn't meant anything by what he'd said, well, neither had she, it was just the sort of thing people say all the time, so what the fuck was there for her to start crying about? But it seemed like she was so she started to blink furiously trying to will the tears back where they'd come from, shit, she'd thought she was over all that shit and anyway she didn't want him to see, didn't want to talk to him about it. She didn't want to have to explain about how scared she'd been that he was going to die, that she wasn't going to be able to tell him that she loved him how sorry she was that she'd got him shot, or that she didn't give a shit anymore about him not telling her stuff as long as he didn't die. Nothing else had mattered.

"Sorry, don't know why I'm bawling" The tears were tearing at her throat until she caved in and a sob emerged "This is ridiculous ... sorry"

"Sssh..."

He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her round to face him, and then wiped away the tears with his thumb before pulling her into his arms and stroking her hair "Hey don't look like that"

"I'm not ..." His kindness almost proved to be the last straw in her battle with the tears. She could feel a full blown snot attack was imminent, and was going to spoil any chance she had for at least a snog, so tried to grin "It's bloody ridiculous, dunno why I'm crying ... it was just you saying about ..." She swallowed hard and stopped in mid-sentence, talking about it was not a good idea, it was going to start her off again.

"Did you talk to anyone, you know, afterwards?"

"Nah, well Kinders a bit, but couldn't tell him much could I? 'n I didn't wanna go and tell lies to some wonk in a white coat, he'd of thought I was a space cadet"

"He wouldn't you know ... and it's not too late"

"Yeah it is ... and I can't see the point ... not now you're all .. better"

When he'd woken in Birmingham and opened his eyes to find her there, tired and scruffy in her combats with red-rimmed eyes and utterly beautiful, he'd actually thought he was still dreaming or was hallucinating from the drugs so when he'd put his hand out for her to take it in hers, a part of him had been making sure she was really there. He'd needed to be sure he wasn't imagining it, any more than he imagined the comfort of her hand as she stroked his hair back.

Now he desperately wanted to be the one who was comforting her, so he tightened his arms round her until her head was against his chest and he rested his chin on top, and for Molly the circle of his arms felt like a safe warm place, one where there was no need for any more

words and where nothing and no-one else existed.

His kiss was the gentlest touch imaginable, a tiny sliding of his lips on hers which created an acute need for him to angle himself away from her to try and hide just how much that gentle touch of her lips had affected him, the rock hard erection was going to be pretty impossible to disguise if they stayed holding each other the way they were.

-OG-

Lying side by side just a few inches away from him, after all the times she'd had to keep her distance, when they'd been waiting out and she'd had difficulty keeping her hands off of him made her stomach dissolve into this complete pool of longing. The legacy of wanting and waiting and dreaming and being afraid people would notice meant that she was flooded this feeling of sheer bloody happiness and couldn't stop her face from smiling. He was gazing at her with a look on his face that told her it was as if he couldn't quite believe she was there with him as he stroked her hair and tucked it behind her ear with gentle hands, then ran his fingers down her face until he leaned over and kissed her and she forgot everything else. The kisses got harder and harder and the more kisses they exchanged the more their need for more became urgent. She hooked her leg over him to hold him in the cradle of her thighs to make bloody sure he didn't move away from her then moved her hips against his groin and heard him groan as his fingers began to fiddle with her zip and slide it down her back.

"Hang on, I'll do it" Her voice was husky as if she hadn't spoken for ages. Being stripped and seduced by him was a lovely idea but she had to go home on the train in her dress "I need to hang it up or put it somewhere straight, else it's gonna look like I've been to bed in it"

The look on his face and the way he bit his bottom lip when she stood next to the bed in her bra and knickers and nothing else made the tiny bits of white lace seem worth every single bloody penny she'd spent on a load of stuff no-one was ever supposed to see. But the way he was looking at her made her go all self conscious so that she held the stupid dress up in front of her to try and hide behind it before draping it on the back of a chair and telling herself to stop being a muppet. This was Charles, okay she wasn't really used to calling him that, not yet, but she'd been wanting this for months, had thought about little else every night when she'd been in her pit, had dreamt about, so why did she have this feeling of being shy when the look on his face and the way he was breathing told her Jane had been dead right to bully her into buying the knickers even if Molly had lied and said they weren't for his benefit. They were she'd known that all along and Jane probably had as well. .

His pupils of his eyes were huge and almost black when he reached out and pulled her back on the bed against him. His body was pressed against hers as he kissed her on her naked shoulders with his heart beating against hers and then ran his long fingers under the straps of her bra, sliding them down her arms before reaching round to unhook it and throw it somewhere. She thought about trying to help as he undid a few buttons on his shirt but he tugged it impatiently over his head without stopping, even when there was a loud ripping noise, and then slid out of his jeans. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of the stretchy black trunks he was wearing that were seriously bent out of shape at the front, before he tugged them off to leave her staring and at a loss for words.

He'd told her she was beautiful, he'd said it over and over, but bloody hell, so was he, he was really beautiful, even more than she'd ever imagined, and she'd done some pretty vivid imagining over the months. She'd been wrong, he hadn't lost too much weight, he looked just the same as he had when she'd lusted after him in the FOB. The wide shoulders and the muscles, the ones she'd spent hours and hours looking at, hadn't changed, and his slim hips with the faint line of dark hair leading down from his stomach, and even the livid pink line of the scar didn't matter, it was all just a part of him, and he was perfect. And despite trying really hard to be a lady and keep from staring, she couldn't stop looking at his erection, it was every bit what she'd imagined.

-OG-

His long fingers stroked and caressed every bit of her, tender and then firm and then gentle again, sliding his thumbs backwards and forwards over her nipples, teasing the puckered flesh until she had to grab his hands and try to stop him for a bit otherwise she didn't think she could stand it. He stroked and whispered and then kissed, following with his lips where his hands had touched, until she was quivering with longing as he whispered against her again and every bit of her melted, he was driving her bloody nuts with need for him.

And she stroked and caressed him in return, kissing round his neck and down his throat, and then running her hands over the muscles that she'd lusted after. She ran her hands down his back lingering in the hollow at the base of his spine which, judging from the little sounds he made, was an incredibly sensitive spot for him. So she moved her fingers round to his hips and then let them drift back to the sensitive spot again.

But as soon as she moved to touch the hard length of him he gently moved her hands away after just a few seconds and began to drop kisses onto the palms and the insides of her wrists before going back to kissing her body. He obviously wasn't going to let her touch him the way she wanted.

"Why can't I touch you?"

"Molly, you have no idea how much I want ... I want you to touch me, but I've waited one hell of a long time for this" He paused "I don't want it to be over before it's even begun …"

He moved his head and started to kiss the inside of her thigh, which thoroughly distracted her and made it impossible for her to think clearly about anything else except the feel of his stubble on her skin where he nibbled and flicked his tongue and kissed her. He was driving her very close to an orgasm she was desperate to delay as long as she could, not something that Molly was used to doing. But like him, she didn't want any of it to be over. Not yet. She wanted the feelings to last forever, or for at least long enough to give her the sort of memory that would still be there after about a hundred years. She didn't want to ever forget a single minute of it, she just wasn't entirely sure how much longer she could stop herself from begging.

And then the magic sound of a foil wrapper being torn and she stopped thinking about anything but him.

-OG-

"Hey you ... you okay?"

He kissed her damp face as she nodded and then smoothed the equally damp tendrils of her hair behind her ears, smiling all the time with eyes that were brimming with affection and happiness and a deep look of satisfaction.

"I can't believe that you're here ... with me ... ... you are so bloody beautiful" He leaned over her to kiss her again.

"I'm not, I'm just me"

Molly knew she wasn't the prettiest or the sexiest but when he touched her and kissed her and created those sensations he made her feel as if what he said was almost true.

"You are you know ... you're beautiful... perfect" He ran a finger down the side of her face "I was beginning to think this was never going to happen ... except in my bloody dreams, I really thought I'd well and truly fucked it up that day"

"Weren't your fault you got shot ... it was mine"

"How many more times ... No ...it wasn't and I keep telling you that, when are you going to listen? And I wasn't talking about that anyway, I was talking about not telling you about Rebecca, letting you find out the way you did when I knew I should have told you myself"

"Yeah, you should of ... why didn't you? And don't say rules 'n that or us being there to work, or any of the rest of that shit"

"No it wasn't that, it was ... I suppose it was because I didn't want you to stop looking at me the way you did, and I knew how you'd feel ... and I was a bit afraid I'd be pushing you in Smurf's direction, I know how fond of you he is"

"That weren't ever gonna happen" She stopped to think how best to explain "He's not, you know, he just seems to think he is as if he's a bit muddled or something, but he knows there's nothing ever going to happen"

"Are you sure? I heard him last weekend going on and on to everyone who'd listen about the two of you going to Vegas"

"Well yeah ... I sort of said I would, but we're going as mates, nothing else, we'll never be anything else, I love someone else ... 'n he knows that"

"Oh fuck ... I didn't know there was someone else, do I know him?"

"I'm not even gonna answer that, and stop laughing, you'd look a bit bloody silly if I said no you don't know him wouldn't you?"

"Nope, not going to happen" He smirked happily when she giggled "Now don't go anywhere, just stay right where you are"

"Yes Boss"

"Very funny ... fucking hilarious"

"I thought so"

Watching him limp to the bathroom to get rid of the condom made her wince and grit her teeth, but then grin to herself as well at her memories of all the times in the past that she'd watched him walk away and had lusted after him, only he'd always had clothes on before.

Nice bum. Oh fuck, she thought for one horrible moment she'd said it out loud as he walked back to get into the bed, but she obviously hadn't, thank fuck, because he didn't say anything just put an arm round and hugged her into his side with a deep sigh that she hoped was happiness as she buried her nose in the side of his neck.

"How come you always smell so nice?"

"What?" He laughed and kissed the top of her head "I didn't know I did … probably the soap mum puts in the care packages, I think she's afraid I stink"

She had no idea why she'd even asked him that, although when she found out what it was called she was going to buy some and stick it in her knicker drawer so every time she opened it she'd be able to breathe in the smell of him. He always smelled the same, a lovely fresh smell of rainy grass and wet pine cones or something, and he smelled like that even when he was wearing full kit in the heat of the FOB, he was the only bloke she'd ever come across who didn't stink when he was sweaty.

But reluctant as she was, she knew she should get up and go home really, even if doing everything she could think of to prolong her time with him was what she really wanted, but she would hate for him to be lying there with his eyes shut and looking all comfortable when he was actually wondering when she was going to piss off. He hadn't asked her to stay and she couldn't possibly ask him, so she started to scrabble around to look for her bra, her knickers were on the floor next to the bed, but her bra seemed to have disappeared somewhere.

"What are you doing?"

"Can't go on the train like this can I? People will look"

"Go? Where the fuck are you going? Don't go ... please ... I really don't want you to go"

"I can stop for a bit if you like ... but I've got nothing with me" She decided not to mention the spare knickers in her bag, she didn't want to come across as a bit slutty "When are your Mum and Dad back? You don't want some random girl walking around their house with no knickers on when they get back ... unless they're used to it of course"

"They'll be back tomorrow, and no they're bloody not used to it, and you're not some random girl either ... my Mum is going to love you, Molly, not only because I do, but because ... you're ... the girl who saved my life, and Mum will want to hug you" He pulled a face "She probably won't ever let go again" His face broke into a wide grin "And much as I like the idea of you walking around the house with no knickers on, I'll see what I can find for you to wear"

"Not sure your knickers are gonna fit me"

"Hilarious ...a 't' shirt, I meant a fucking 't' shirt" He threw his head back and laughed before looking at her with a serious expression on his face "So, it's agreed then, you're going to stay with me till at least tomorrow and then if you must you'll go home and get some stuff but only as long as you promise you'll come back to me as soon as you can"

"I never said that"

"Well say it now then, especially the bit about making sure you come back to me"

Molly grinned at him in the certain knowledge that it would take at least a team of wild horses to prise her away from him before she really had to go, and she couldn't help thinking that he knew that every bit as well as she did.

"Don't worry, I always come back to you, don't I?"