A/N: Like I promised, another update. The next chapter will take a little longer than expected to be out, but it'll probably be the end of this short story. :)

Oh!

Brief side note about this: Naruto's thoughts about Sasuke are not my own. It's the way I believe his opinions to be. Just exactly that of a boy's.

Enjoy! :D

Untitled

There are many things I regret doing in my life. I regret drinking at an early age. I regret smoking. I regret doing all the stupid things I could have stopped myself from doing. Like accepting a challenge from a friend, only to end up with a broken arm in the end of it all. Sneaking out of the house. Lying to my parents. Messing around when I was supposed to be studying. Then again, things like that was already expected from a teenager, so, of course there'd be regrets about everything later in life. But, come on, let's be honest here.

Last night is one of my many other recent regrets. I don't know what the hell I was thinking in allowing myself to be kissed by Sasuke. Why did he do it? Why did he have to be gay? Why couldn't he be normal? And why couldn't I stop myself beforehand? Before he could even so much as think to kiss me with the situation that he was currently going through? He had to be confused, right? And… that thing he said about not wanting to be a virgin after he graduated… did he honestly trust me that much? Enough to let me take away what was rightfully his? He wanted me to rid of it? He didn't even… We didn't… We weren't even… God, he was fucked up. Just thinking of it brought deep confusion and anger to my senses. Why would he say that to me?

It was about ten in the morning now. I hadn't slept since I'd come home. The whole Sasuke situation was fucking over with my head. I lay in my bed, mulling over the curiosity of last night's events, of all the things that could have happened if I hadn't stopped myself. Still, the thought of having sex with my own best friend… the feeling of having him pressed against me last night… I wasn't going to deny it; it felt good. It probably could have been the effects of the beer or something. Maybe not. Maybe it was of my own accord. Maybe this was something I'd desired deep in my heart for so long I hadn't even realized it. Sasuke trusted me. He trusted me enough to give himself to me. All of him. The thought of it all was strange. I mean, I'd expect a girl to say that to me and, come on, I'm not going to go against a girl's wishes, but, really, Sasuke? Would Sasuke ever really say that? Did I ever expect Sasuke to press against me like he did last night? Did I expect him to kiss me? God, no. Never. Not in a million years had I thought that he would do that sort of thing to me. Or admit something about his personal life out loud. He was much too proud. He was too… he was Sasuke, of all people. He didn't talk about things like this. He talked about geeky things. He talked about Harry Potter. He talked about Star Wars, Star Trek, superheroes, mutants. Scientific stuff. The guy was a nerd. A total complete geek. At some point in life, of course I didn't deny that he had ever thought of sexual things. Or about experimenting sooner or later in life. Deep inside, I bet he was a raving sex lunatic. Then again, I expected that animal to unleash with some girl. Not with me. I didn't expect him to be kissing some guy or me later on that night. I didn't expect him to be undressing me last night. Or to be pressing up against me. I didn't expect him to bite me like lovers did. I didn't expect him to ever smile at me like he was doing so last night… to look at me like he did…

Maybe I was going crazy or something, but, the more I thought about him, the more I seemed to like the idea of being with Sasuke. Physically. Mentally.

Intimately.

It seemed natural of me to think of him, to wonder what he was doing at this moment. I wondered if he was even up at this moment. He was probably still asleep. It was Saturday, after all. He slept in on the weekends. I mean, yeah, I did, too, but, since last night's events ailed me so terribly, I doubted I'd be getting much sleep these couple of days. Still, I needed to hear his voice, for some strange reason.

I found myself dialing his number on my cell. I hung up on the first ring. I dialed again. Hung up. Dialed. Hung up. Repeat cycle for a couple of minutes. After the last call I made, I was shaking. Why? The anticipation of hearing Sasuke's voice was unbearable. What the hell was going on with me? Was it possible that his being gay caused unexplainable, confusing feelings to surface on the opposite party? On their best friend? Absurd, the thought was, I know, but there wasn't any other way to explain the way I felt. The way I wasn't supposed to feel for Sasuke. Thinking about him like this got me thinking about last night. About what could have been. About what I was thinking of doing at exactly this moment. I was hating myself for just thinking about that in general, for thinking about using Sasuke as some sort of sex object, but I just couldn't fight the way his curves fit so wholly with my own. Of how good it felt for him to pressed against me, touching me, causing things to occur to my body… Things and feelings I didn't know could be ignited by him.

He was a guy. We were both guys. It was morally wrong to think about him that way. But I still couldn't fight it. I still couldn't fight the way my fingers dialed his number once more. Still couldn't fight against the receiver pressed against my ear as I waited.

One ring.

He was probably still asleep. Maybe he lost his phone. Knowing him, it's probably buried at the bottom of the endless piles and mounds of clothes in the corners of his room. He's a pretty messy guy.

Two rings.

Maybe he didn't want to talk to me. He must have been embarrassed. I mean, I walked out of that room so fast. He was probably ashamed with himself.

Three rings.

Yeah, he wasn't going to answer. Was it possible that he could have -

"Hello?" He finally answered. His voice sounded so clear. No trace of sleep was soundly visible through his voice. He had been awake for quite some time now, I know.

Shit. No going back now. I wasn't expecting him to be awake. He probably didn't sleep either.

My mouth is so dry. I feel like I'm choking on air. I can't even swallow. What was I going to say? What could I say?

"Naruto…?" Of course, he would know it was me. Was he expecting a call from me this whole time? Did he suspect I would call? I doubted so. "Hey… um… hi…"

I don't know what it was. Maybe it was the tension between us on the phone. But this didn't feel right. I didn't want to speak to him. Not on the phone at least. I wanted to see him. I wanted to -

"I'm coming over. Are your parents home? Your brother?"

This question obviously surprised him. I knew why I asked it. Maybe he knew too.

"Um… n-no… They already w-went off to work… w-why?"

I didn't say a thing as to why. He had to know. We both knew.

"I'll be there in five minutes."

And I hung up.

It didn't take me long to get to Sasuke's house. Not at the speed I was going, at least. Thank God cops weren't around. They'd sure as hell fine me more than one ticket for my less than pleasing speed I was pushing against. Maybe I just wanted to see if Sasuke was okay from last night. Maybe he was feeling like shit from that fuckhead last night. Maybe I just wanted to comfort him. But I knew that wasn't true. I was lying to myself. I knew that. For sure, Sasuke obviously knew that. We both knew me. We both knew the way I was. The type of guy I was. I wanted to finish what he had started, what he had instigated. I was a selfish guy, I know. Using my best friend for some guilt-free sex thing wasn't exactly noble on my part. But he trusted me. And he didn't want to be a virgin after he graduated. This was his idea. So, in fact, I was doing him a favor. I wasn't exactly stealing anything from him. I wasn't using him… Right?

Slowly, I climbed the steps to the front door of his house, raising my fist, ready to knock. I stopped myself. I examined the door for a brief couple of seconds, regretting coming here. The whole reason of coming here was just so sick. So wrong. I was coming here for a quick fuck. A quick fuck with my best friend. I was coming here for all the wrong reasons. What was wrong with me? Was that all I really came for? Just for that? I refrained from knocking, gritting my teeth at the thought. But it was already too late to go. I was here. I couldn't leave. I'm pretty sure Sasuke already heard me pulling up in the driveway.

I knocked three times. I waited for exactly three seconds before Sasuke opened the door. As soon as he saw that it was me, he swallowed. He didn't smile. I didn't either. He was nervous. I was, too. But it was for all the wrong reasons, damn it. Yet we still greeted each other as friends. It was awkward.

I stepped into his home. He shut the door behind me quietly, but even the sound to me was surprisingly loud. We stood beside each other in silence. Both of us were too afraid to speak. Both of us were shaking. Him, probably because he was afraid I was going to beat him up. He had that scared look in his eye. But… he was my best friend. There was no thinking twice about it. I'd never do that. And, even if I was capable of doing so, I'd be too scared to go on with it. I was scared right now. How was I going to go about it? How was I going to appoint the main reason as to why I came here in the first place? How the hell would Sasuke take it? Did he remember anything about last night?

"H-Hey, um… would you like s-something to drink? I've got, um -"

"No." The response sounded so cold. He looked hurt. "I don't want anything to drink. Thank you." I sighed, as if letting out my first breath in life, unloading a whole night's burden from my chest. He waited for what I had to say, but it looked as though he didn't want to stay to hear anything. He was shaking too much, too soon. He was starting to sweat bullets. He took a couple of steps into the living room. And I followed right after him, but stopped mid-step as we passed in front of the hallway to where it led straight into his room. It was like a sign. I stared at the closed door for a moment before ultimately deciding… "Let's go to your room."

Sasuke jerked back in his steps. His whole back tensed at the very mention of his room slipped from my lips. He turned slowly. Obvious fear met my too calm eyes. His lips quivered as he spoke.

"M-My room?" He murmured softly. I nodded once. And, in that moment, I swear I saw panic swimming around in his eyes. He looked away from me to the closed door of his room. Then he looked back at me, the fear and panic oozing through his many senses. He tried to brush it off like it was nothing. He couldn't. He was panicking too much already. "Why?"

He knew why. He had to know. That was why he was panicking, right? I grabbed his hand without answering his question, without thinking too much about it. He didn't fight against it. He didn't pull away from me. But his fingers seemed to curl into my own tightly. Intertwining. We stepped in his room, and, despite the idea that I was only just here yesterday, right before going to Sakura's party, I had the strangest feeling I'd never been here before. It was as though it was my first time being in his room. Mostly because it was strangely clean. For the first time. His bed was made. The many piles of clothes gathering up in the many corners of his room were now gone. As if wiped clean from existence. Every inch of his room was spotless. I mean, Sasuke had always been a pig, so to see his room like this? All clean and smelling fresh and stuff, that alike of a girl's room. It was weird. Did he… I looked at him. He wouldn't look at me. I could clearly see him swallowing. Hard. Did he know I was coming over? His fingers seemed to curl even tighter against my own. I looked down at them. For some unexplainable reason, I could feel his frantic heartbeat pulsing through his fingertips and mine. Our fingers fit perfectly in one another's grip. The contrast of our skin was just so unreal. Opposites somehow did attract. But I didn't…

I didn't know how I felt about him. This whole situation was so new to me. I didn't even think I was attracted to guys, much less Sasuke, but, I mean, the way we were, the way we seemed to just connect at this level of intimacy. There was no doubt that I felt strongly about him. I didn't know if I was attracted to him, though. I only knew that I came here for one reason and one reason alone. Nothing else, nothing more. He entrusted me with what most people wouldn't consider their own best friends for, and I was going to grant him his wish. I would give him what we both wanted. What we both desired since last night. I wasn't going to fight against the way he was making me feel at this moment, at the soft touch of his fingertips brushing against my skin. So lightly. Caressing.

I shut the door to Sasuke's bedroom closed. I locked it. Why, one would wonder, if there wasn't anyone at home. Just to be safe. I pressed him against the door gently, bringing our intertwined fingers up to my lips. He stared up at me in confusion. I kissed at his knuckles briefly. He swallowed once more. He shook his head and pulled away from my touch. I yearned for his warmth. He stood much too far from me. I turned to look at him. He had a pained look in his eyes.

"What are you doing…?" He whispered. "You don't want to do this. You made it… y-you made it very clear you d-didn't -"

"I was drunk last night. I'd be taking advantage of you." That was such a stupid, fucking lie. If that was taking advantage, then what the hell was this? Why was it so easy for him to believe in my bullshit? Didn't he know me at all? Didn't he know when I was lying? Couldn't he see the way my hands shook as I brought my fingers to rest against his face?

Of course he didn't. The way he leaned into my touch. It was hard to question about anything I was doing at the moment. He was leaning in towards me. I panicked. I moved my head to the other side, and his lips met my cheek. I don't know why I did it. Was the reality of it all crushing down on me finally? He pulled away in confusion. I avoided his gaze.

"It's still… this is all still so new to me, Sasuke… I don't know how to…"

"I know. It's okay. If you don't want to go along with it, it's okay. I'm not forcing you." At the sudden turn of this conversation, I laughed aloud, somehow hoping to relieve the tension that had crept up on us. It sure as hell relieved me. It felt good to laugh. Sasuke, however, didn't seem to find the humor in this. He stared at me in confusion and hurt now. "What?"

I laughed, shaking my head.

"It's just… shouldn't I be saying all of that to you?" He still didn't find the humor of it all. I snickered. "Come on, Sasuke, you're the genius here. You shouldn't be reassuring me. I should be reassuring you. You've got it all backwards. You should be the one terrified of doing something as serious as this." I grew serious as he seemed to grasp the whole idea of it. The fear suddenly seeped through his façade. He stepped back from me, struggling to swallow the huge lump of panic that had formed in his throat. He sat on his bed, suddenly looking dejected. Damn. Why did I have to open my big mouth and say something?

"Is it really that serious if I go along with it?" He asked me. I nodded, then scrunched my face in confusion at him.

"I thought… I thought you knew what you were losing."

He shrugged, as if he sort of knew and as if he sort of didn't.

"I do, but, I mean, everyone talks about losing their virginity as it were something recyclable. Like losing it doesn't really mean anything…" I scoffed at this. He looked at me.

"Where do you hear that bullshit?" I ask him. He shrugs again, avoiding my gaze as he blushes deeply. It seems as though I knew where that crap came from. Him. I scoff again. "He's not the most reliable source, you know… There are other people - people like you, I'm hoping - that cherish the value and of the purity of their life greatly. It's something magical, something that shouldn't be tainted or tampered with so easily as people waste it away with great disdain. It's something… beautiful…" Like you, my lips want to add, for some strange reason - maybe because he is, because he does look exactly like that at this moment - but I stay quiet, watching him as these words sink in. Watch as his eyes travel to the window of his room, looking outside into the world, watching the birds. Watching nature pass him by. Watching the sun rise. He smiles. Then looks away. To his hands.

"Poetic words, Uzumaki." He tells me. He looks at me. "Didn't peg you for the type." His eyes meet mine. They look deeply into mine. There's humor dancing in them. There's something else beyond that - panic, I seem to believe - but it's almost barely visible. He's trying to relieve the tension of the atmosphere. Of the strain the awkwardness is putting on our friendship. Of the next step that's about to take place. I force a smile. He forces the smile into a grin. But I know it's fake.

We're fake.

This moment is too real, too eerie for words worthy enough to describe a moment like this one. But it's awkward. No denying about that. Who takes the next step? What happens next? Who goes first? Either way, I know it's going to be me. I take control of the conversation. I take control of the situation. I twist it for what I want it to be. For what it should be right now. What he wants.

I kiss him. Our second kiss, but it might as well feel like the first.

It takes him by surprise. He didn't expect me to take such a daring action. There's that familiar warmth spreading across his cheeks, all over his face. He's embarrassed. Ashamed, he didn't acknowledge what this was supposed to be. What this was supposedly leading to. He'd forgotten all about it. Forgotten we were friends. Best friends. What was this? I press him onto his bed, into the soft cushiony mattress that seems to relax him. He's kissing back. His hands rest against my chest, not pushing me back, luring me in. He's clutching onto the front of my shirt, pulling me deeper and deeper. One of his hands roams behind my head, taking most of the control of our kiss. He's pushing me with the palm of his hand and pulling me closer, fisting at my shirt. And I know what else he wants. He wants to go a little further. He wants to slip in tongue, I know he does. I do the favor for him. He moans softly. And it does things to me, that sound. I'd never heard a more beautiful sound than that of his moan. It's making me so hot. I feel that these clothes are getting to be too much of a burden. I probably won't last very long if we keep this up. I like this feeling. Still, I want to hear him do that again. Moan. I pull my lips from his own. He whimpers. Another beautiful sound. They just keep coming. He keeps surprising me.

Why hadn't I done this with him sooner?

I rest my lips against Sasuke's neck, against his heartbeat. It's racing. I want to make it pump even harder. Faster. My tongue parts from between my lips, licking him, tasting him from his neck to his jaw line. It works. His heartbeat's racing harder and faster. He's sweating. He's panting. I want to look at him, but I can't distract myself. Not now. It was just getting good. I bite at his jaw softly. He gasps. The sensation is too much for him. Hasn't that guy ever made him feel this way? Ever ravished him like I was doing so right now? Taking the time to provoke him for a much deeper and almost permanent effect of nirvana? He was supposed to. That guy was his boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend now, I'm guessing. And I was his best friend. There was something very wrong with this picture. But, even as bad as that seemed, I didn't really care. Not now. All that mattered was Sasuke. In this moment. This was his moment. His time. His wish.

I'm pressing into him deeper, noticing and feeling the way his curves fit so perfectly within mine once more as last night. Somehow, I know the right way to touch him. My fingertips are brushing against his sides, not tickling him. Touching him. Feeling him. Making a memory of him. He's writhing under me, shuddering. Moaning. Whimpering. Gasping. Then I'm marking him. I'm making him mine for this moment. Marking this moment specifically for him.

"No…" He utters. He's not pushing me away. His heartbeat pulses faster. He pulls me away from where I mark him.

He kisses me. One hand remains at the back of my head. The other heads down towards the hem of my shirt, pulling. This is the part where we stopped last night. Where I realize in my less-than-sober mind that doing something like this with Sasuke wasn't right. I didn't think that now. I wasn't going to stop. I was going all the way this time. I let him pull at my shirt. We separate as he yanks it over my head. He throws it over my shoulder, somewhere in the room. And he smiles at me. It's dazzling, the way he smiles. It's not much of a killer smile anymore. It's a fucking gorgeous smile. I'd never noticed before… but he's pretty fucking gorgeous too. Especially when he's blushing like that. He avoids my intense stare. He refrains from touching me now. He's not scared, but we're getting closer and closer to intimate ground. We're only just landing on the tip of the iceberg. He's thinking about this. But he's staring at me. Staring at my chest. He touches me gently. Probably just to make sure everything's real. That everything that's happening is happening. And even if it's a simple touch, it's with just that icy touch against my already too hot skin that my mind's already fucking up. I'm shivering in pleasure at that simple touch. With the most tender of touches. I didn't know he could cause that sort of feeling to me. No girl has ever made me feel as intensely as he did. No girl ever touched me that way and made me feel hot as Sasuke was doing right now ever before. God, he made it feel so good. He made me feel so good.

"Naruto…" He whispers, and it almost sounds like he's about to tell me a secret. His voice is shaky. His movements are shaky. The fingertips touching at my chest are gone. He's fisting at the sheets. He's pursing his lips. His chest rises and falls quickly with each hard breath falling from his lips. He looks flushed. I look into his eyes. They're telling me something. He bites his lip. Temptation. Anticipation. An itch he can't scratch. He's reddening a crimson color now. "It's… I-I'm getting hot… I-I c-can't…" He can't handle it.

I understand, I want to tell him. But actions speak louder than words. I pull off his shirt as I ravish him. He's moaning and writhing against me. He's unable to handle at the simple touches anymore than I am. I kiss at his jaw, kiss at his neck. Bite. Lick. Suck. He trembles and shakes as his fingers reach for the button of my jeans. He finally unclasps the wretched button and unzips the zipper after a moment's time. We're getting closer and closer, digging deeper and deeper into the unknown. I'm hard, I know this, for sure. He feels this. He flushes harder. He's never been this close to intimacy before, and I have no doubt in my mind that he'll back out of this. But he takes a breath. A deep one. Regaining his composure, I bet. Then as his fingers are about to pull down my jeans, to pull down at the waistband of my boxers, I stop him. He looks at me, confused.

"We don't have to… if you don't want to." I say as softly as I can, but the words are still there. Still too real. He swallows, eyeing my pants and boxers and at my obvious hard-on. The hard-on that's raging. For him. He takes another deep breath. Swallows again. He's never had anything like this happen to him in his life ever before. This is a first for me, too, Sasuke, I want to tell him. First time with a guy. First time with him. He meets my eyes again. But avoids my look as fast as he can. He's not comfortable with this. It's obvious he's scared. "We can stop. It's your call." My voice sounds so composed. Calm. Like if doing this was all natural to me.

It isn't. I'm not drowning in sex every other day in my life. I have a normal life. I have time to breathe. Time to think. He seems to believe I think I do have sex every day of my life. His eyes are doubting me. But I don't. He knows that. Doubt is a fiendish friend, after all.

Still…

He takes my hand and leads it the waistband of his shorts. His too intense gaze never tears away from mine. He leads my hand beneath them, beneath his clothes. It takes him a whole lot of guts to do this as he pushes my hand into his shorts further and further. Deeper and deeper. Now it was my turn to flush. I was touching Sasuke. My best friend. I swallow, unable to tear away from his gaze. He has me hypnotized. He's hard, too. And, come on, I'm not going to lie, it feels good to touch him. To touch my best friend. He's obviously thinking the same thing. It feels amazing. His reactions are amazing. He's trying to control himself. His mouth is open and his eyes are shut, cheeks flushing so intensely I was afraid they'd burn off. It feels so good. He's really trying hard to control himself, to not make a sound. But he's shaking so hard that I don't think there's much room for that. He's controlling my hand. He's pushing me to touch him. I'm not complaining. I want to touch him, so I do. It's mostly out of my own accord, though. The action of him pushing at my hand is almost feeble now as I take matters into my own hands.

Literally.

I palm him beneath his shorts, the superficial action invisible to our eyes beneath the fabric of his shorts and of his underwear. But I want to see him. I want to see him flush. I want to hear him make sounds. Make sounds that I cause all on my own.

Slowly, I slide his shorts from his legs. He panics. But he's torn between two emotions. Pleasure and fear. The thrill he must feel; unbearable. He's trying to cover up. He can't. He's fully exposed now. To me; his own best friend, Naruto Uzumaki. I don't stop in palming him as I take in the beautiful, gorgeous view of his body. So beautiful… It almost seems as though he has the same body as that of a woman, but he'd kick my ass if I ever told him that. Instead, I palm his dick faster and faster, watching the many expressions that take over him. God, there are just so many. He's trying not to lose himself in the midst of all of this. I'd never seen those expressions on him… And I just want to experience them all. To take the time to see them all. But it's hard. He's hard. He moans louder and louder, fisting at the sheets. It's strange how a simple little handjob could affect him so. But, then, well, he's still a virgin. He's still very sensitive. He senses his climax is coming. I do, too. He's coming. He's arching off the bed. He screams.

Oh, God.

His essence splatters on my hand so quickly. Like a shower spurting water as if doing so for the hundredth time. How many times has he touched himself, I wonder. Does he always come like this, I ask myself. The thought of it sends shivers running down my spine. I distract myself. I watch as his body lowers on the bed agonizingly gently and I retract my hand from his dick slowly. He's breathing quickly, trying to recover from his high. I am, too, in my own fascinated way. I'm staring at my hand. At Sasuke's… well, yeah, that. I'd never seen it before. I mean, yeah, I'd jerked off a couple of times to know what the hell it looks like, but… it's strange, you know? Having your own best friend's jizz on your hand? Now, to be honest, I don't know what made me do it, but I tasted it. I put my tongue to my hand. And I tasted him. Sasuke was still recovering from his higher-than-the-heavens-high, so he didn't notice this.

I'm not going to lie, he tasted nice. I thought he'd taste horrible, but I ended up licking every bit of him. He was a rare taste, not that I'd ever tasted anyone's jizz before. It disgusts me. However, for some reason, Sasuke's didn't revolt me. Not a trace of whatever he left behind was on my hand anymore. I wanted more. And I'm sure he wants more, too. Just a handjob wasn't enough for him. Despite that he's trembling and shivering.

So.

I part his legs and settle a cool palm against his thigh. He stiffens at the action. I know this was too much for him. I was going too fast. I'd figured he'd try to stop me or something. Not a bit of him was complaining, though. He was watching me as I lowered my head between his legs. Then he starts to redden once more. Is it wrong that I like to provoke his blushes? I take a hold of him. And, at this, he tries to cover up. He tries to push me away. But he's weak. I'm not taking advantage of him, I swear. He seems to like my fingers curling around his dick, my mouth so close to him. He hides his face behind both hands to hide the obvious fact of this.

Why? I want to see your face, Sasuke. I want to see your face when I give you your first blowjob. Will it be good? Will you watch as I take you in my mouth? When you cum?

I smile at these many thoughts that I'm sure Sasuke must be avoiding. He can't. So, the next move I make is a daring one.

I lick him. His whole body stiffens. Still so sensitive. I run my fingers across the inside of his thigh. He shivers.

I consume him. He moans. His fingers dig into my hair. His legs shake. He won't last long. I can taste him already.

I deep throat him. Here. Oh, here is where he loses all control. He's flailing against me. Huffing and gasping. He bucks upward. I try not to choke. I press my palm against his hip as to still the sudden movement. He's still moving, trying to escape it. Trying not to cum. But, oh, yes, he's so close. I can feel it. I can just taste him.

Soon enough, I believe to be mastering the action. I bob my head up and down, almost expertly. Almost as though I've been giving blowjobs all my life. Doing this was so natural. So real. So… me. Yeah, I sound like a whore. Like a gay whore. But I'm not. I'm living in the moment. I mean… at least that's what I keep telling myself. Sasuke's holding himself back. I'm giving it my all. I lick around the tip, down, back up, then down again. And then his body stiffens again. He explodes. In my mouth. I have to pull away just before I choke on him. On his taste.

Oh, my fuck.

He tastes even better at direct contact. And Sasuke can't even bear to watch me. He covers at his face again. Obviously, he knows what he's done. He came in my mouth. He's ashamed. He thinks he wasn't supposed to do that. Oh, but, Sasuke, how wrong you are, I want to tell him. I push the hands that cover his face gently. His face is as red as a tomato. He has tears in his eyes. He's not crying. He's just so embarrassed. I've experienced this side of Sasuke before. He feels less like a man because he came in mouth. He came in my mouth too soon, he reasons. I shake my head and smile at him. I tip his chin up at me. Our lips meet briefly. He tastes himself. He pulls away. Ashamed. I turn him to look at me. He meets my gaze reluctantly.

"That's exactly what I wanted." I whisper against him. At this, he embraces me, trying to avoid of the way I stare at him completely. Probably to avoid the embarrassment he still felt at the moment, too. And then I realize that we're so close to doing what he wants to do.

Maybe that's why he's hugging me so tightly. Maybe that's why I hug him with twice the force, too. I'm not going to deny it, but I was scared. And he was scared. We were about to take that big step. That step that no longer symbolized us as best friends, but as two people. Individual people. Strangers now, once more, just as we had started, years before our sophomore year. When we first met. We were scared then, scared of being friends. And now, years later, we're scared once more, but for very different reasons. We're taking a step we shouldn't be taking. A step forbidden to best friends. To two guy best friends.

I feel tears prick my eyes. I didn't want to fuck up our friendship. We built so many memories together.

And what were we doing with them now?

We were fucking destroying them. Replacing them with new ones. New ones that I bet would end this. End our friendship. We were daring people. What the hell did we think we were doing?

But now he's kissing me, so that question doesn't matter much anymore. I respond with what he wants me to. He's pushing off my jeans and my boxers, freeing me and my raging hard-on that's just pulsing like crazy - finally, I think - he's not thinking anymore. The cold air hits me like a slap to the face. I needed to fill something. Soon.

For now, he's just doing. Thinking would bring fear. He didn't want to feel that way in this moment. He takes my hand once more. He's leading again. He's still kissing me. He's leading my fingers, guiding me. Seriously, those gay websites have guaranteed him with enough knowledge to take matters into his own hands. Thank God. Because I didn't know what else to do after that. I mean, yeah I did, but I didn't know how the hell to do it, without seeming too forward, of course.

My fingers are guided to him. To his ass. My heart stops. I feel my lips stop moving against his. I'm in shock. His ass speaks to me, in a way. It quivers in response to my fingers probing gently. He urges me to push against the tight ring of puckered muscles with shaky breaths. I want to. I really do. But I can't. I can't do it. I just can't. And I know it's the wrong time to be thinking, I know, but the memories of us… they'll be forever tainted now. Every other time that I think about him, or about sex, he'll be the first one in my mind. This specific memory would be connected with everything we ever did together in life. Everything we ever did since we met. All those smiles, the laughter. The good old days. They'd be gone. We'd both be twisting them into something dark. Something that didn't belong in a memory between the history of two best guy friends. I couldn't stop thinking about this. I'm about to stop Sasuke. I'm about to tell him doing this wasn't right.

But he's pushing my fingers into him for me. Into his tight heat. Shit. He clenches tight around me. I shut my eyes at the exhilarating, strange feeling. M y God. It's already too late. He's groaning against my neck, gasping for air. I am, too. Why? He's tight. It takes my breath away. We're both struggling for air, sweating bullets. He guides me deeper into him, pushing me from my wrist up. But again, I'm doing most of the work now, mostly because he's still recovering from his orgasms. He's weak again. I'm on my own.

"Add another…" He breathes out. I do.

Two fingers are in. I'm in knuckles deep. What am I looking for? I don't know. But Sasuke seems pretty keen on moving himself around, urging me to hit something, probing. I brush against something. Is that what he wants? He cries out. Yeah, he does.

"One more."

And the third finger goes in. I'm stretching him as much as I possibly can, because this is the part we're getting ready for. The part in which I know exactly what to do. I know my dick might not probably be the biggest one around, but considering the prostate searching, I have no doubt he'll need the extra space.

I brush against that same spot. He cries out again. I don't know when to stop. Does he tell me to? Do I have to wait until he comes for me again? It feels so good. I don't want to pull my fingers out. I want to keep them there. Relish in the beauty of his tight heat. He's practically arching off the bed completely now. Does it really feel that good? I want to fuck him with my fingers harder. I keep hitting the same spot. I memorize it. He's not going to last. I'm not either, if I don't have something to fill. I'm pulsing with need. Aching with desire. I want to fill him. The need within me is screaming, shooting my dick in the upright position. I'm pressed up against Sasuke. He's feeling me. Feeling the need I have for him. Oh, man, I can feel him too. I want him right now.

"Sa… Sasuke, I-I… I can't…" I try to explain to him.

He understands. Even in his heated moment. Beads of sweat are gathering on his forehead. We're so close. I'm so close. I yank my fingers out of him too quickly. He cries out at the loss. But the tip of my dick presses against his ass so quickly it's as though I never left. I don't give him a warning. I'm being selfish now. I ease into him, burying myself to the hilt. Veeery slowly. Oh, the torture. That preparation did nothing on his ass. He's still so tight, I'm not even joking.

And I'm being totally honest with you, but it takes all my willpower not to thrust into him at full force. He feels so fucking good. He's a virgin, I have to keep reminding myself. I can't do anything too irrational and risk hurting him in the process of it all. I stay in one position, getting him used to the feeling. Feeling him. Oh, shit, I'm feeling him. God fucking dammit, please, Sasuke, give me the go. Give me the go now. Please. I don't think I'll be able to restrain myself for much longer.

But he's in pain. He's still getting used to me. I'm pretty sure I've torn something. I feel something leaking from between my legs and him. I'm afraid to look down. I don't know what it is. I don't want to know. I grip onto his thighs now, digging blunt fingernails deep into his skin. He doesn't feel it, thankfully. However, he meets my gaze. He sees the restraint in my eyes. He acknowledges it, and I know that he wants to let me… but he can't. He can't give me the go. It hurts. The pain etched on his face is so clear. So obvious. He's crying. I've hurt him. Shit. I have to pull out. I have to. I'm about to. He stops me. He shakes his head quickly.

"D-Don't stop… K-Keep going… Please…!" The words are strained. His fingers curl around my wrist, keeping me in place. He pulls me closer to him. I'm going to split him in two if he pulls me any closer. Does he seriously not feel that? Doesn't it hurt him? Our lips touch. I melt in the kiss. For the moment, I forget about the idea that I'm hurting him, or that I'm about to fuck him, despite how much I'm trying to fight against doing it. He does, too. It's a good distraction for both us. It distracts him from the pain and me from thrusting into him like a hungry animal. Then he whispers the word so softly against my lips, strained and full of pain, but still heard. "G-Go…" It's like a prayer, I tell you.

I don't lose control instantly. I still find it in me to take a strong hold on my senses. Not to lose myself in this. I'm doing good so far. Still, though, it doesn't last much longer. I rock myself back and forth into him. Slowly. I try to find a rhythm to follow. He's already moaning. Begging me to go faster. I know it's hurting him. He has to get used to it. I push deeper into him, going a little harder now. I hit his pleasure spot dead on. He almost goes rigid at the foreign sensation. He's still not used to it. But he's moaning louder. And I'm going faster. I'm losing my senses. I can hear myself moaning, groaning, gasping. I'm gripping onto his hips so hard that I believe I'm going to leave bruises. They'll be there for a lifetime. A memory as to what we'd done. What we were doing. I'm fucking my own best friend. And it feels so fucking good.

I'm palming him once more. I don't know what brings me to do it. Maybe the expression on his face really just makes me feel like a god at the moment. These feelings he's never used, they're starting to look really good on him. I fuck him harder. Palm him faster. Moan. Whimper. Gasp. He clenches around my dick. God, that feels good! He comes in my hand for the second time today. Then…

A whisper. Far too quiet for the human ear. But I heard it. First, I heard my name, to which I load off into his ass. I can hear myself laughing. I came to my own name. I could have called out his name. But I didn't. Not after what I heard. Not after hearing those three words following after my name. I'd never say those words in my life ever before. Not to anyone. Never had the need to. Saying those words to me was like a poison. But Sasuke said them. Like it was normal for him. Like he was planning it. Like… if he really did mean them.

I wasted no time in getting out of there. I pull out of him. He was already falling asleep, spent. He didn't know I was leaving. I didn't need him to know. I didn't cover him up. I would leave him there. I picked up my clothes and slipped into them. I wasn't going to stay. Not after what I heard. That was too much. Emotional attachment never boded well with me.

I left without a backwards glance toward the used Sasuke. He got what he wanted. I did, too. No more wasting time.

I was done.

A/N: There you go. Lemon for this chapter, but to a disadvantage. I apologize if it wasn't to your liking, but it was a hard task enough when I had about four people walking behind me. One which can't read. Another who can, but won't understand what the hell this is about. And the other two aren't capable of English language. Not very horrible, if I think about it, but, hey, it was bad enough that I was writing this right under their noses. Hope you sorta liked it.

Reviews are always a great appreciation! :D Thank you in advance!

-With much, much adored love, KK247