AN: Thanks to everyone who sent me reviews! You make me want to write more, faster. Alas, the chapters will stay relatively short until the couple have more to react to than just each other, but that will be changing fairly soon, so please be patient!
Rated M for the usual reason things get rated M.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own any CCS characters.
Sakura was sure that she had never been so embarrassed in her entire life. She fought to keep her posture looking confident as she endured her husband's gaze. She clenched her hands at her sides hard enough to make grooves in her palms from her fingernails, even though all she wanted to do at the moment was to use her arms as shields from his piercing stare and flee the room as well as him.
She had been surprised when he had turned from her to prepare for bed. She was expecting to be grabbed callously and used as an object of his pleasure; undoubtedly as many a young girl before her. Yet, after a brief flash of anger, he had receded back into his shell and continued to take about as much interest in her as a piece of furniture. Not that she was particularly aching for his attentions, but something about his general disregard for her presence made her feel as though he must be up to something.
Although she disliked listening to anything he had to say, she had no other plan of how to occupy her time, and so she had began to prepare for sleep. She lifted each slender leg, one at a time, and joyfully pulled the fashionably uncomfortable shoes from her aching feet; whilst always keeping a wary eye on the back of the suspicious figure who was absorbed with the removal of the ornamental blade at his side. It was while she was removing the numerous pins that bound her hair that she realized what surely must be his plan. He wanted to catch her when her defenses where down, so as to inflict the most damage. If she only had spiteful thoughts for him, surely he could have nothing but the same for her, and wish to somehow punish her for the damages paid to Bai Hu* from her own country.
Well, she would not allow it! She could not prevent such an attack in the future, with him being several inches and pounds larger than her, but this time, the first time, the choice would be hers. She refused to give him the satisfaction of stealing something else from her.
Decision made, she swiftly tore what remained of her garments off her body, not caring much if they survived her assault, and softly padded towards him and her fate.
And that was how Sakura discovered that his face was indeed capable of showing emotion. She had never seen someone looked so shocked at anything. He was completely immobilized, hands stilled poised to pull off his remaining boot, his mouth slightly agape, and his brown eyes wide as dinner plates as they stared at her openly. She would have found it amusing if she wasn't feeling so utterly humiliated and slightly terrified.
In her mind she had imagined herself boldly seducing him and somehow using it as a means of bending him to her will, but she found herself incapable of touching him. There were still two years before her eighteenth birthday and true adulthood. She was still meant to be innocent and pure; no one had ever explained much to her about sex. The only man she had ever kissed was her father and the only intimacy with men her brother Touya had ever allowed was some timid hand holding, and even that was only on special occasions.
Sakura groaned inwardly, she had not thought this through. How was a scrawny virgin like her supposed to tame a man who had slept with several other partners who all possessed more experience and, more than likely, a much bigger bust line? Standing here in the dark on tremulous legs with goose bumps rising on her arms, she felt it unlikely that she could tempt any man to be her lover.
There was a shift in the shadows and Sakura was pulled from the downward spiral of her thoughts by the figure of her spouse looming over her. The astonishment from only moments ago had vanished from his face, taking with it any thought of this situation being amusing. The silhouettes cast about the room painted strange shapes across his features, making them seem menacing, and there was something dark clouding his eyes that scared her. She had seen that look from men before; a wicked sort of hunger. Back then she had simply smiled at them gently and ignored the uncomfortable twitch in her stomach; she had been safe. But now she was the little rabbit out in the field at night looking gaily up at the moon, only to see an owl with outstretched talons. She felt the panic rising in her chest and took an instinctive step away.
It was to no avail, he simply closed the gap between them with a stride of his own and she found herself trapped once more. Realizing there was no escape; Sakura took a deep breath and tried to calm the frantic beating of her heart. She reminded herself that this had been her plan from the start. She reasoned that just because she didn't know how to start things off didn't mean she couldn't take control once she learned the rules of the game.
He reached out to her slowly with one hand, treating her like the little frightened animal she was. She held as still as she possibly could and fixed her gaze on the strip of tanned flesh laid bare by his partially opened shirtfront, knowing that if she watched his approaching fingers she would be far too tempted to flinch away.
Despite her best efforts, unbidden memories flooded her mind. She thought of the way her father smiled at her, beaming with pride. She recalled the sound of her brother's mischievous laughter after making a joke at her expense. She could see her mother's eyes, so full of love, as she told her good night. Sakura's heart began to ache. There was another pair of eyes she longed for.
She sealed shut her emerald pools; maybe if she couldn't see him she could pretend his hands were the ones she was wishing for. Slender and pale, they would trace the angles of her face tenderly, as she had always imagined they would. Everything about the man before her would melt into softness. His mouth would form that familiar smile; so gentle and encouraging. His honey eyes would glow warmly with affection. He would hold her to him and whisper how he had always loved her and she could lose herself in the joy of his arms.
But even with her eyelids pressed firmly shut, she could still sense the presence of the fingertips that hovered mere millimeters from her skin and knew they were not Yukito's. Every fiber of her being cried out against this. This was not what she wanted. Not with this man. Never with this man. She felt a single tear escape the barricade of her eyelids, the loudest cry her soul could muster, and land like a fallen star at her feet.
She braced herself for the imminent brush of her prince's calloused hand like a condemned prisoner waiting for the ax to fall. Yet, the seconds passed and turned into minutes which quickly stretched out into what seemed like an eternity and still he did not touch her.
Curiosity eventually got the better of her and she opened her eyes to find the space her husband had been standing suddenly vacant. He was sitting on the far side of the bed and facing away from her. He must have felt her gaze, because he suddenly pulled his undershirt off over his head, further ruffling his already unruly hair. Sakura tensed at the thought that he might be stripping down too. Though she couldn't deny that there was something beautiful about the way the muscles of his back knotted together as he moved.
"I believe your night clothes have been laid in the chair near the door." He murmured. His voice was so low that if there had been any other noises in the room she didn't think she would have heard it. It was strange, but Sakura thought that there was something defeated in the way he slumped there in the dark. It was stranger still that she felt an impulsive urge to comfort him somehow.
Quickly shaking that madness from her head, she made her way to a comfortable looking chair and sheepishly pulled on the simple night dress that the servants had left out for her. By the time she turned back towards the bed, her husband had already buried himself beneath the covers. As she approached her side of the bed, she felt something close to hurt bubble up inside her as she realized that she had been rejected point-blank. He had appraised her body from head to toe and found her wanting.
Sakura quietly slipped beneath the cool bed sheets and curled tightly into herself. In sixteen years of having her own spacious room to herself, she had never felt as alone as she did sharing this place with her new bedfellow. Hugging her knees to her chest and trying to take up as little space as possible, she was a lost sailor adrift in a vast and empty sea. The shores of sleep called out to her with promises of warm familiar faces that looked at her lovingly. She answered readily; glad to escape the thoughts of her reality and drown herself in dreams.
AN: Me again! here to fill you in on that curious * you saw. Bai Hu is the name of a Chinese constellation. Anyone who is a fan of Yuu Watase's Fushigi Yuugi will recognize it as the white tiger of the west, Byakko. I wanted to use something in reference to the stars and in Chinese, so this seemed to fit the bill nicely.