An Anthology of Wizard Wheezes!
(Funny Tales from the Magical World!)
Ron's Missed Opportunity.
Junior Auror Ronald Weasley was on patrol duty again.
If his boss was anyone other than his best mate Harry Potter, then Ron would be certain that he was constantly tasked with patrolling this lane just off of Diagon Alley simply to keep him out of the way.
However, as his boss was his best mate Harry Potter, Ron was certain that he wasn't he just to be kept out of the way. Harry trusted him. That much was obvious by the fact that Ron was the only Auror on patrol in this street.
Of course, the reason for that had to be because his best mate Harry Potter trusted him to keep this street safe all on his own, and not because no one else in the Auror Department wanted to work with Ron.
All in all, it wasn't a bad job, strolling up and down this street, making sure that everyone was okay and getting free cups of coffee, bottles of beer, slices of cake and sandwiches from various people.
Of course, these gifts were because everyone on this street was so nice and not because they knew that the best way to distract the Auror from some of their seedier activities was to get him occupied with the task of stuffing his face.
The street hadn't changed much in the past three years that Ron had been walking it, but today was different.
A new storefront had been erected over the past few days and today the place had opened for the first time.
Walking by, Ron paused to observe the blackboard sign that stood on the street in front of the building.
Painted at the top of the sign were the words "Madam Muffins' Café and Brothel."
This intrigued Ron. Just the other day he and his drinking buddy Seamus Finnigan had been discussing the question of why no one had ever thought to provide a professional service that combined the delights of sex and food.
Below the name of the shop there was some writing, written in white chalk. Upon closer inspection, Ron realised that it was a price list that read:
Cake: 3 sickles.
Sandwich: 4 sickles.
Pie: 5 sickles.
Tea: 3 sickles.
Coffee: 3 sickles.
Hand job: 1 galleon.
Blowjob: 5 galleons.
Sex: 10 galleons.
Ron decided that this warranted further investigation!
Squaring his shoulders, he walked towards the door and went inside.
All around him the sounds and smell of sex filled the air.
Naked women were everywhere, eagerly serving their paying customers.
Ron approached the front desk where a twenty-something blond with a fantastic chest greeted him with a bright, welcoming smile.
"Good morning sir," she said brightly "What can we do for you today?"
Ron leaned against the counter and asked in a low voice "Are you the woman who gives hand jobs?"
She leaned forwards, making sure that her breasts were as noticeable as possible. Giving him her best 'come hither' look she replied in a sultry tone "I certainly am."
"Okay," said Ron "Well wash your hands and make me a ham and cheese sandwich."
Ron knows what he wants!