If I owned OTH I wouldn't be writing stories on here, I'd be making Lucas come back to woo Brooke. So do I own OTH? No. End. Of. Story.

The song lyrics are Lua by Bright Eyes.

Oh and also, sorry for the extra long author's note at the end. You don't have to read it but you can. I just wanted to give you a heads up that I got carried away.

And I'm not sure what the trouble was
That started all of this
The reasons all have run away
But the feeling never did

Brooke Davis was happy with her life. Well, except for the minor detail that she often cried in the bathroom when Julian was at work and she didn't even know why. She didn't really understand much about her life anymore. She tended not to think about it because it hurt and she couldn't really deal with it right now. She thought it was just the stress or the lack of sleep, that it was getting to her head and making everything seem worse than it was. It was certainly possible. So she'd just live day to day, not thinking about what was going on in the back of her mind in a drawer she'd locked tight. She wouldn't think about the future and whether she'd ever feel better. So she just kept telling herself that everything was alright. That it'd all end up alright in the end. And with that she'd managed to make herself think she was happy.

She blamed the stress on the lack of eating, as well. That maybe if she didn't eat as much then the minutes spent eating each day could be used to do things that were more needed. Like drawing out new designs or something equally important. Eating wasn't important as getting things done. Then there was also the fact that if she focused on getting through the day with only a slice of cheese then she wouldn't have to think about everything else. About the fact her wedding was coming closer and she was seriously regretting having it so soon. To start with, she knew it was a way to deal with everything around her. Then it started to take over and she couldn't quite think clearly. She didn't even know why she wasn't eating anymore, she just knew she wasn't and that's the way it should stay.

She was guilty when she ate now because her brain had told her to feel guilty. It wasn't because she wanted to be skinnier and she thought that the calories would turn her into an elephant, like everyone believed. It was because her brain had told her to. Everyone thought it was because she was constantly meeting with models, skinnier than her, and she felt jealous of them. Or that she looked in the mirror and felt fat. She'd heard Haley, Peyton and Lucas discussing it in the kitchen and they didn't know she'd overheard. They thought they understood. They didn't. By the sound of the conversation, they'd had it a lot. They needn't worry. She was okay. At least that's what she told herself. Because she didn't know she was that skinny, sure she'd started to understand she'd lost weight from the clothes that now were too big when before they'd fit perfectly. But when she looked in the mirror she didn't seem any skinnier.

Julian told her about five times a week to eat and she was starting to get annoyed. She was a grown woman. She could look after herself. She knew it was only because he cared but she could deal with things by herself. She was fine. She told him this each time he asked. She wasn't fine. She just thought she was. It'd gotten to the point when the lack of eating had gotten to her brain, she thought that it was perfectly fine not to eat and that she actually was okay like she'd told everyone. She wasn't. None of her thoughts were her own anymore. They were just what her lack of eating state of mind had told her. Her friends had told her, too. Most times they saw her they'd at least make a 'Brooke you're too skinny' comment. But she'd ignore them and they didn't really know what else to say because none of them could get her to see clearly.

She didn't think it was that serious. Until she fainted.

She couldn't see anything at first. For a few moments it was only darkness but she could still make out the sound of beeping. She didn't really know what it was at first. She thought maybe it was her alarm to wake her up for work and she was only half conscious. She didn't really feel ready to wake up so she tried to roll over to press the snooze button. She couldn't. Then some other noises started to fade in. Voices. Far off voices and she thought that Julian might be outside the room talking on the phone. She thought that he might have closed the door and that's why the voices were so muffled. It all sounds so farawary and distance that she can't really understand the situation.

Then she managed to gently lift her eye lids apart but found herself immedately closing them against the bright, unexpected light. She felt something gripping her hand at the movement of her eyelids and she turned her head slightly at the feeling. As she slowly half opened her eyes again, this time more prepared for the brightness, she saw a blurry figure. Her eye sight was fairly distorted so she couldn't really see who it was. Just that they were male.

"Beautiful, I'm here. You're going to be alright," The voice was familiar but she couldn't quite put a finger on it. She fully opened her eyes now and after a moment the fuzzyness decreased and she was looking at Julian.

"Wh... What..." Her voice was croaky and gravelly. It caused her throat to feel like it'd been lit on fire and she started to cough which sent her throat into a wave of flames. She gulped. Her voice sounded so unfamiliar. Julian took the glass of water from the table and placed it near Brooke's lips so she could drink. She smiled in thanks and took a sip.

"What happened?"

He sat back in his chair, placing the glass back down, "You fainted, you didn't have enough sugar in your blood and you were just too exhausted to stay conscious. They did tests on you and they've found out that your heart and kidney started to fail. They said that I managed to find you just in time because otherwise... Otherwise you could of died. You were also starting to suffer from osteoporosis. Brooke... You nearly died," He told her as he sat back in his chair, head lolling back against the back as he closed his eyes tightly.

Her breath caught and she took a few moments before she said anything, "So what happens now?"

"Now... You're going to be kept in for a week so that they can monitor how much you're eating. You'll have regular visits from a therapist and even when you leave you'll carry on going to him for 6 months, maybe longer depending on what happens. You'll have to come here weekly for check ups. And they're giving me a diet plan which I need to watch to make sure you stick to. After that we'll see what happens," He opened his eyes and looked at her, swallowing hard. He hated to see her like this and just wanted to get her better.

"How long have I been in here?" She raises an eyebrow and shifts in the bed so she can see him more clearly.

"A couple of days. They needed to do a lot of tests and things..." Julian nods his head and sighs heavily. He hadn't slept since she'd come in, bar a few hours, and it was starting to get to him. He knew he could of slept. All her friends had visited and he knew that if she woke then they'd wake him but he just couldn't.

"You should get some sleep, you look awful," She told him as she studied his face and he nodded, closing his eyes.

Lucas and Peyton hadn't told anyone about the seperation. The situation with Brooke was more important so they just hadn't found the moment. Even between themselves they hadn't spoken about it, both too worried about Brooke. They knew she'd be alright. It was Boroke Davis, she always ended up alright. But it was just the fact they'd never seen her like that. So fragile. They were so scared that she'd disappear from them. So they pushed away the seperation and focused on Brooke, because that was what they needed to do.

While Julian had spent every moment beside Brooke, they'd (Haley, Nathan, Peyton, Lucas and various other people like Mouth) sat outside in the waiting area. They occasionally went into her room to see her but they'd all been shaken up at the sight of her that they couldn't really cope. They all knew Brooke so well and the fact that she looked so... weak in there kind of scared them.

So when they found out Brooke was awake to start with they were hesitant to see her. But they did because they were her friends and they needed to. It was what they were supposed to do. It was their job to support her and help her. They hadn't exactly helped her so far, they could of stopped it from getting this far. But they didn't. They could of talked to her about it more. But they didn't. It was their fault she was in such a state.

They took it in turns to speak to her. Naley went first and they'd come out of the room all blank faced and they didn't know how it'd gone. When asked they just told them that Brooke said she was fine but she wasn't. Julian had apparently filled them in on what would happen next and Brooke had apparently just lay there; all still and quiet. It was like she was so weak that she couldn't even speak much. So when it was Lucas' turn to visit her he had to take several deep breathes before opening the door.

"Brooke..." He whispered so quietly that if the room wasn't so silent she wouldn't of heard. He closed the door gently behind him before going and taking a seat in the chair Julian had previously occupied.

"Luke?" She turned her head to face him and he had to resist the urge to gasp at her the look of her papery, worn out skin which had taken on a greyish tint. His stomach swoops at the sight of her and he feels his heart break at how weak she looks. He hated that she was like this, he loved her and he wanted nothing more than to get her back to how she was before. When she was happy with who she was.

"How are you feeling?" Stupid question really seeing as she looked so terrible.

"Fine," Brooke answered with a tiny nod of her head. He knew she wasn't.

"Tell me the truth," He replied and she sighed, rolling her eyes.

"I'm okay, Luke. Honest. I mean I feel exhausted all the time and I feel a little queasy, but other than that I'm fine. Everyone should stop worrying, the doctor said that I can make a full recovery," She told him with a slight shrug of her shoulder. He noted that she said 'can' and not 'would'.

"Do you want to make a full recovery, though? Because I don't doubt that you can if you try... But will you?" He asked after a moment of silence as he thought of what to say.

"It'll be hard... But I'll try. Promise. I mean I don't think you all could cope without me," She sends him a smile and he knows she's trying to lighten the situation. But he can't find it in himself to smile back.

"We couldn't. We can't lose you. You mean everything to all of us," He swallows hard and bows his head, looking at his hands in his lap.

"I'm sorry," She says after a few minutes. It's in a quiet, sad, little voice that doesn't sound like it should belong to Brooke Davis.

"For what?" His head snapped up to look at her, his brow furrowed.

"For this. All of this," She gestures a tiny hand around the room, the sleeve of her gown flapping up so he can see her tiny little arm and he has to close his eyes.

"It's my fault. I could have stopped it. I could have helped. But I didn't. I let you just slip away from us," He says quietly and she shakes her head sadly but he doesn't see the movement.

"No. It's not. I wouldn't have listened to any of you. I was just listening to what my food deprived body told me. I wouldn't have taken into consideration what you all told me. It's not your fault. Honestly, I mean I really wouldn't have listened. You couldn't help me. I'd have carried on not eating whatever happened. Seriously, don't blame yourself," He doesn't say anything else on the matter because he kows she'll deny it but he knows it was all his fault. He could have stopped it but he didn't.

Okay, so I lied. I didn't do any Leyton but that'll happen next chapter or something, probably. I don't really plan out my stories. I just go with the flow. So I thought that I'd have a Leyton chat but I didn't cause it didn't fit. One reviewer wanted to hear more about the eating disorder so I put it in. It was important. It isn't the end of the eating disorder. She'll have a tough journey and I don't really know what'll happen in the end, but I think she'll come out the other side perfectly healthy. I'm sorry that Leyton seem like jackasses for not thinking of Sawyer in the last chapter but I just think that they're too lost to really see clearly. To sad and lonely. Y'know what I mean? Like I think they don't understand anything other than the pain their in. Any questions just ask.

Sorry this was so terrible, I really didn't capture all the emotion and everything of an eating disorder. I really didn't do the topic justice (but I do know what I'm talking about.) I mean I wrote this really late last night (like 4:00 am cause I couldn't sleep) so I didn't really think much into it. I'll probably edit. But anyway, I hope that after chapter 4 or 5 things will start to get more interesting.

By the way, I used to suffer from an eating disorder. 2 years ago, actually. So I wanted to put it across that lots of the time an eating disorder isn't just about wanting to be skinny. I mean sometimes it is, but sometimes it isn't. I didn't care about being skinny. I just wanted control. I still have trouble eating now, so you have to know that Brooke won't magically get better. So yeah. You can ask question or whatever.