Aubrey's POV
I started down the hall. Looking at the pictures that covered the green pale walls. Pictures of my pass all hang in their rightful places. There was a picture of Zack and I from when we were seven, and with his older brother Broyce who was nine. Then there was a picture of my father and I before he passed away. And then there was a picture of my cousins and auntie Dee. And the last picture I could see was from last year at Warp Tour. I was with Zack, Rian, Jack, and Alex, all four members of the band. I was being held up on Zack and Rian's shoulders. We we're laughing and Jack and Alex were looking at us as if we were the crazy ones for once. I remember that day, it was the best ever. I looked down to see the stains in the carpet. I see everything that I'll never see again. I take one last look, taking everything in. I hope this is the last time I ever see this hell-whole. I run down the wooden stairs, diving onto the couch. Zack looks over at me. I give him a big smile before tackling him into a bear hug.
"Thank-you so much! I can't wait! When do we move?" I ask never giving Zack the chance to talk.
"Ha-ha, calm down Aubrey. We'll be leaving soon enough. So you're sure you wanna come with?" Zack said holding me in a side hug.
"Yes! Of course!" I cried with excitement.
"Well then," Zack smiled. "We're leaving tomorrow morning."
"What time!" I asked.
"Well our plane leaves tomorrow at quarter after eleven. So we need to be there at about ten to get through security and stuff." Zack told me.
So we're leaving tomorrow. Someone must have seen that I was drowning in misery. Who ever was looking out for me, thank-you.
"OMG! Ok I'll go pack now!" I raced upstairs running towards my room. Once I enter I see that my mother already left. I don't think much of it and grab my bags out of my closet. I pack all the necessary supplies I'll need. I keep packing and then I look over to my side table. Even when I moved back to my mother's I brought along my pills. I open up the door of the table and see my path to heaven. I turn to see if anyone is looking. I'm good, I can pack. I reach for the bottles, my hand shaking, and my eyes closed tight. I want to be with Liam, yet I wanna have a long life.
"Aubrey! WHAT THE HELL!" Zack yells.
I turn around knowing that it's all over. I know that he's gonna send me to a mental hospital. I know that this was my last chance. I drop the bottle, curl up into a ball, and sob. I don't think I've ever wanted to die this bad, and yet I still don't wanna die. I'm just scared of everything I've learned to know with Liam. And the life I'll have to learn without him.
"What the heck we're you thinking?" Zack asked as I sobbed into his chest.
" I don't know anymore. I keep thinking about him Zack. He ruined me physically and emotionally. I don't know how to live without him! And I don't know if I can learn how to." I cried.
"Shhh, it'll be ok. I'll make sure of it, it'll be ok. Trust me Aubrey." Zack soothed.
And for once I believed him. I calmed down after awhile. And with the help of Zack threw out all the pills. Once we we're done that we got rid of the old pictures of him. Not once did Zack mention his name, nor did I. Once we were done I passed out on the floor, ready for the big move.
I woke up the next morning at quarter to eight. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, and walk into my bathroom. My make-up from the other day is smeared down my face. Bags hung under my eyes, and my hair was all crazy looking. I look at my reflection. And all I can do is laugh about it. How the hell did I manage that?
After looking at my crazy reflection I hopped into the shower. I cry again about the night before. I swore I could hear Liam's voice. Telling me it was the right thing to do. But I still wasn't sure. Once I got out of the shower I pull on black sweat pants, a long red sleeved shirt, and my personal made All Time Low hoodie.
Once I walk down stairs I see Zack on the couch sleeping. I smile at his peaceful form and continue on into the yellow kitchen. I look one last time at the white cupboards and white counters. I look at our white oven and yellow fridge. Our window curtains with the light pale green design. Taking everything in as if this was the last time I would ever be here.
Instead of feeling sorry for myself I just go on as normally. I go to the fridge grab the eggs and butter. I go to one of the cupboards and grab a large pan. I then go into a different cupboard closes to the dining room and grab three plates and a bowl. I crack five of the eggs into the bowl and mix them. I add a few pieces of cheese and throw it in the already buttered pan. As the pan starts to warm I grab the bread out of another cupboard and threw a few pieces on the counter.
I quickly butter the bread and throw cinnamon and sugar on top of them before throwing them into the toaster oven. I quickly grab a spatula out of one of the drawers and run over to the eggs and started like smashing them together. I didn't really know what to call it so I just say smash or scramble them together. I concentrated hard on it and then ran back over to the toaster oven before the cinnamon toast burnt. I was doing so many things at once that I felt like everything was gonna become a disaster. I ran back to the eggs and smashed them some more and then ran and grabbed the cinnamon toast out of the toaster over. I quickly put two pieces on Zack's plate, and one on my mother's plate and one on my plate. I ran back to eggs relieved that they we're finally done. I put the biggest portion on Zack's not knowing how much he ate. I then divided the rest for my mother and I.
I bring the plates to the dining room and set the table. I go back to one of the drawers and grab some forks for everyone. I also grab the orange juice and milk setting them out on the table. I grab three glasses and put one by each plate. Lastly I grab some napkins for everyone and look at my accomplishment. I was never able to cook breakfast before without getting yelled at by my father. He said I always made a mess and never cooked things properly. As a little girl I wanted to become a famous chef or baker but my father always told me how horrible I was. I gave up the dream and just ended up ditching college. My father died when I was fifteen and the last thing that happened was well. He took me by the arm dragging me to the kitchen. He placed my face onto the hot stove tops. He yelled at me saying I was a terrible daughter and that I should be ashamed of what I have become and what I will be.
I shake the thoughts from my head. I don't need to be thinking about that shit. I run into the living room jumping on Zack, telling him to get up. He groaned and pushed me off him. Again I jump right back on him telling him to get up.
"Fuck off Aubrey, I'm sleeping." Zack groaned again and pushed me to the side.
"But Zack I made you breakfast. I made some yummy eggs and cinnamon toast! And we got orange juice or milk, or you could be lame and drink water" I said sticking my tongue at him as I sat on him for the third time already.
"Do I have to get up?" Zack whined.
"Zack it's almost nine thirty, and you said we have to leave at ten. So yes, yes you do have to get up" I said being a smart-ass.
"Fuck it, fine I'll get up. Just one thing Aubrey." Zack said rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
"Yeah Zack?" I asked.
"Your gonna pay for sitting on me," Zack says as he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder carrying me to the dinning room.
"Zack what are you gonna do?" I asked trying to kick him in the gut so he would drop me.
"Oh, don't worry about it Aubrey. You'll live." Zack laughs evilly and I start to get scared.
I know it shouldn't have reminded me about the night it did, but it did. I couldn't help but watch the memory as it came to thoughts. It was the night that Liam had threatened me and his friends all watched laughing evilly.
"Aubrey why would you disobey me?" Liam started off nicely.
" I don't know what you mean Liam. I didn't do anything wrong." I was scared. I didn't know what he was talking about.
"Babe if I did something to upset you, then I'm sorry I didn't mean it."
" Don't babe me, you fucking bitch." Liam yelled at me slapping me across the face. " I told you that your not aloud to talk to anyone but me at the party last night."
"Liam I was trying to find a way home. You were drunk out of your mind and I didn't have my vehicle, I'm sorry." I told him, hoping he wouldn't try hitting or kicking me like usually.
"Sorry doesn't fix anything. I can't believe that's your stupid excuse. You we're looking for someone to make-out with weren't you? You fucking slut. All my friends try to make me stay away from you. The next time you talk to anyone without my permission I'll fucking kill you. And don't think I'm joking. I don't care if I'll go to jail. If it teaches you bitch a lesson it's worth it. UNDERSTAND!" Liam threatened me, his friends laughed evilly and all I could do was nod trying to hold back my tears. He pulls his leg back, I squint my eyes shut ready for the hitting, the kicking, the name calling, all of it and the sad thing was, I was already so use to it.
"I'm sorry! Liam please! I didn't mean it! STOP," I cried thinking I was facing my enemy.
"Aubrey? Aubrey look at me, I'm Zack remember. Aubrey stop! Aubrey calm down please." I heard Zack's voice. But I couldn't see him. All I saw was Liam. I see everything bad he did. And everything bad he could still do to me. Even if he isn't alive there is still a chance with his soul. I'm just so scared of everything. I let him do this to me. I was petrified not only of Liam but of myself also. I did this, I was the one who stayed in the relationship, I was the one who deserved to be beat every night.
"Get away! GET AWAY!" I screamed as I saw more memories flash by my eyes.
I can feel his touches all over me. How dirty I felt. I felt his fingertips brushing by my chest. And I could feel the nibbling kisses on my neck. I could hear him whisper to me how much of a 'slut' I was. I began crying. Why couldn't I just live a normal life? Why couldn't everything just go back to normal?
"Aubrey please, it's me Zack. I promise Abby nothing bad will happen to you." Zack said slowly his voice stuttered a little. He was scared with was going on and it was my fault.
He called me 'Abby' though. So it had to be him. Zack and his brother Broyce made up the nickname for me. Even though my name was very easy to say, as little kids they never could. So they called my Abby.
I tried fighting through the memories and to pull myself back to reality, but something held me back. This was the life I learned with Liam. Most of the time he was beating me and trying to get me to do drugs or drink. He tried raping me before when he was drunk. But when we went out with my friends or my parents he acted as though he was a gentleman. And that's why I liked him. He was romantic about ten percent of the time. And that ten percent was the only reason why I was with him.
Once I finally pulled myself from the memories, I cried into my hands. I refused to look up at Zack. I was ruining his life, I ruined my father's and mother's. Heck I even ruined Liam's life. I couldn't believe how stupid I was. If I had locked that door this wouldn't be happening right now. If I had locked that goddamn door I would be six feet under the ground right now. I wish life would just become easier for me.
I feel Zack put his arm around me as I sob. He tries to calm me and holds me tighter in his arms. Why did Zack have to be dragged into this? I never meant for any of this happen, and I feel terrible about dragging him into it. I just wish I could change everything. If Zack and I had never meet than maybe he would be better off. We probably both would. I probably still would have meet Liam and still probably have tried to kill myself. But I probably would have been successful.
"Abby, come on please calm down. It's okay, I'm sorry I was only playing around. I didn't mean for it to be hurtful towards you. I'm sorry Abby, I love you though." Zack said as he rocked us back and forth on the floor.
"I'm sorry to Zack. I'm ruining your life. I swear I didn't try dragging you into this." I sobbed almost not understandable into his chest.
"Aubrey! Your not ruining my life. For god sakes, Abby you're my best friend. I love you and would do anything for you please understand. Your not ruining my life at all. You my best friend and I would do anything for you." Zack said as I started to quiet down.
" I feel like I ruin everything though Zack, and I'm sorry it had to be your life. Please if there is any room in your heart, can you forgive me?" I asked even though I knew the answer, I was still scared he'd yell at me and tell me how horrible I was. But Zack isn't like that, but I was still scared. I just couldn't help it.
" You already are forgiven. I love you Abby. Come on let's go eat and then I'll quickly go take a shower before we leave." Zack said helping me to my feet and walking to the dinning room with me.
We sat next to one another, I didn't real know what to say so I just picked at my eggs silently. Zack quickly ate and then kissed my forehead saying he'd be back soon. Once he left I picked up his plate and mine and washed them up. I grabbed my mother's plate and put it in the microwave to keep it warm until she came down.
I then ran up stairs and grabbed my suitcases. While walking down the hall I saw the pictures again. I quickly took the picture of Zack, Broyce, and I, and I also took the picture from Warped Tour. I walk down stairs and put them in the less packed suitcase. I sit down on the couch looking at the popcorn ceiling. No not popcorn, popcorn, but like white pebble things all over the ceiling.
With my eyes I draw pictures into the ceiling as I wait for Zack to come down. I get annoyed easily and start to grab his bags and mine and drag them outside onto the porch. I txt Zack that I'm outside waiting and sit down on the bench. Not only five minutes later a cab appeared and Zack came running outside.
We both grab our own bags and pop open the trunk of the cab. We hop into the back and ask the man to bring up to the airport. It was silent the rest of the way their. No one said anything until we got there. The total price for us to pay him was fifty bucks even. I grab the money out of my purse before Zack can get his wallet. I give it to the man and go get our stuff out of the back.
Zack come around back to help. An angry look in his eyes as he glared at me.
"I should of paid. It's not right for a lady to pay when there is a gentleman with her." Zack looked at me a muttered.
"Gentleman? For real Zack? I know better than that. Come on you can't be a gentleman after hanging out with Alex and Jack for more than two years. No way in hell are you a gentleman still." I laughed as I thought it.
"Fine but still I should have paid. It would have been the right thing to do." Zack says as his cheeks become red from my truth.
"Oh shut up Zack. Let's go to Baltimore already." I said excitedly.
Zack grins and we run with out suitcases to the airport entrance. It was quarter after ten now and we still had an hour until the plane took off. I was jumping for joy and prancing all around. People looked at me weirdly because I didn't care. I was ready for a new shot at life, I was ready to leave everything bad behind. I just wanted to make a difference in my life.
As we made our way through security I swore I saw Liam's friends. I gripped onto Zack bicep and hid my face behind his back. Zack looked confused and turned around. Please not here Zack, please don't talk about it. Please-
"Aubrey what's wrong?" Zack asked with a concern look written all over his face.
"Liam's friends. There here, and I don't want anything bad to happen." I said as I hid my face in his chest.
Zack understood and hid me the best he could from them. As we got farther away from them I calmed. I released Zack's arm seeing that I had left a red mark. I gasped and felt guilty right away.
"I'm so sorry Zack, I didn't mean it!" I cried silently to him.
"It's okay Aubrey. It doesn't hurt okay. So don't worry about it." Zack said and hugged me.
Finally we got through security and waited in our seats. Our plane was boarding in about ten minutes so we didn't have that long to wait. I saw Liam's friends again, and intertwine my finger's with Zack's. I squeeze his, trying to say I was scared. He squeezes my hand back reassuringly and pulls me closer to him.
The ten minutes pass and we sit on the plane. I don't see Liam's friends and for once I'm actually happy. No fake smile, no fake giggle, no I was happy. I just wanted to leave already. If anyone understood then I would be surprised.
I watched Zack as he looked out the window. He was ready to leave and so was I. He was ready to go back home, and I was ready to leave this hell-whole. As the airplane took off I looked to the other side of me. I thought I was leaving everything behind. I guess not. Liam's friends we're in the seats next to me, glaring at me.
I grab onto Zack's bicep in a death grip. He looks over at me. I began to shake hard and tears well up in my eyes. He looks past me and sees the same people. Once the plane is in the air and people are able to move around again, Zack switches places with me. There was an aisle between me and Liam's friend but being so close to him. What if he brought up everything that happened?
"Abby it's okay, I'm here." Zack soothed me, and the world around me started to disappear.
I was out cold. My dreams nothing but blackness at first. And then everything came back to me. I was dressed in a pink shirt and brown leggings with a short ruffled white skirt over them. I was playing on the swings as a young seven year old. My parents had left me there, forgetting all about me. I was happy. I was forgotten. I didn't have to hear them yell.
I then got off the swing by jumping. As I was about to land on the ground I put my hand out to break my fall. By doing so I broke my wrist. At first I was just in shook. And then I started getting scared. No one was here to help me. All the children had left and the sun was setting. I cried for a little bit and then tried finding my way back home. For a seven year old it wasn't that easy.
I walk out to the side walk and try finding the signs. I lived on Becky's street. The street I don't know why it was called Becky's street. It just was. I found a street that said Maine Street and another that said Broad Street. I didn't know which way to go and I was getting nervous. Zack and his family was on vacation I think, so I couldn't go across the street and ask for help. I didn't know what else to do. So I sat there on the side walk, and cried my eyes out.
An hour or so later I began shivering. I was cold, I was hungry, and I was in pain. My wrist didn't feel any better and my body shook with every wind that hit my skin. A few minutes later I heard a car pull up next to me. I freaked out at first and tried running away. Then I heard Zack's mother's voice.
"Aubrey? Is that you sweetie?" She asked.
I turned around and nodded.
"Come on get in, we'll take you home." She said as she got out of the car and helped me into the back seat. She allowed me to sit in the middle with no booster seat, neither of the boys had one either, so I didn't feel embarrassed. I hopped in between the boys and held my hang close to my chest.
"Ew, what happened to your hand." Broyce asked.
I looked at my hand, it was bent at an odd angle. I returned with, "I jumped off the swings and tried to break my fall with my hand."
"Your hand looks weird does it hurt?" Zack asked and poked it.
"OW! Zack don't touch it. It hurts really bad." I cried a little from the pain.
Mrs. Merrick turned around and looked at my hand. She shook her head and then a few minutes later we we're back at my house. I hopped out and thanked them. Mrs. Merrick also came out. I looked at Broyce and Zack with a questioning look. They both shrugged and waved good-bye to me.
"Thank-you for the ride Mr. Merrick." I said.
"Your welcome sweetheart. Now go get inside and show your parents you hand." I nodded and walked up to Mrs. Merrick as she was already talking to my mother.
"Do you even know where little Aubrey was?" Mrs. Merrick asked my mother.
"She knows her way around. She would have been fine. Sorry I have other things to do then watch a seven year old. You know most of us have a life, unlike you and your husband." My mother spat towards her.
"You know what no, Aubrey is going to be staying with us until you fix yourself up. Come on Aubrey let's go grab you some of your things." Mrs. Merrick said walking past my mother and up into my room.
She knew my house so well because of the many times she had been here. I quickly ran into my room and grab my stuffed penguin. He was the one thing I needed for certain. We then grabbed a few outfits and walked out of the house. Mrs. Merrick threw my stuff in the trunk, and then we we're off to their house. Once we we're there Mr. Merrick unloaded the car and Mrs. Merrick took me to the hospital. I got a purple cast put onto my arm and we went back to her house.
For two week I stayed there, when finally my mother called and said to bring me back or she would call the police. I gave Zack and Broyce a hug staying good-bye to them. I went home and awaited my punishment from my father. For a seven year old I shouldn't be use to that.
"Aubrey Niccole Greence! How dare you fucking run away from home! How dare you say lies to the Merrick's." My father said kicking my tiny body all over the place.
"Daddy! I'm sorry, please don't hurt me." I cried.
"Aubrey come on we're here. Get up." Zack said shaking me.
"Zack, I was sleeping." I groaned.
"Yeah, I was sleeping this morning. Come on Aubrey. Broyce is here to pick us up." Zack said grabbing our stuff from the compartment above.
"Broyce is here!" I had a shit grin on my face and quickly helped Zack grab the suitcases that we're up there.
"Oh, I see how it is. You like Broyce more than me huh?" Zack acted hurt for a moment.
"No. Zack I just, I haven't seen him in years. I saw you last year, and it's been since our senior year that I've seen him." I said trying to make up an excuse.
"Uh huh. Yeah sure. Admit it your in love with Broyce." Zack said wiggling his eyebrows.
"Gosh Zack. Shut up will ya? I don't like your brother anymore than a friend. Now come on!" I said trying to rush the line out.
Once we we're outside I looked all around for Broyce. When I found him I ran to him while putting the suitcases on the wheels. I caught up more speed and dropped the bags before tackling him in a hug. I tighten my arms around him and he pulls me closer.
"I'm glad your still alive Aubrey. I was so worried." Broyce said as he started to let go of me.
"I'm sorry. I just felt like I had no other choice. Please don't be mad at me?" I asked for his forgiveness.
"I could never stay mad at you. As long as you don't ever do anything like that again then I won't ever yell at you." Broyce said and hugged me one more time.
I looked over to see Zack talking to a bunch of guys. They looked like his band 'All Time Low'. Zack waves Broyce and I over. As I reach for the bags, Broyce pushes me out of the way and grabs them. I glare at him and he just smiles. I playfully hit him and he acts as if it hurts. I giggle and run over to Zack, jumping onto his back.
"Aubrey what did I say about jumping on me." Zack joked around.
"You said only jump on your front." I said laughing my head off. His band members fall to the floor laughing while Zack's face turns red.
"AUBREY!" Zack yells.
"Oh I'm sorry you didn't want everyone to know?" I asked.
" Well then, you must be the famous Aubrey Greence." The kid with dark brown hair and brown eyes asked me.
"Jack don't act like you don't remember me." I laughed and jumped onto Rian's back. "Hi Rian! I missed you more than everyone else. Don't tell no one though." I whispered yelled to everyone.
"Yeah I totally didn't miss her," Alex said glaring at me.
"I'm sorry Alex. I actually like quiet people. You and Jack are just to much. You guys don't understand being silenced, you guys are center of attention. So I'm sorry, I do love you guys, but I can't handle you at this moment of my life." I said and places my face on Rian's back since he hadn't told me to get off and he had a good grip on me. I feel asleep again but only to be awoken as we started to leave.
"Come on Aubrey. I don't wanna carry you outside." Rian whinnied.
"Please? I asked.
"Ugh, why must girls be so weird? Fine." He groaned and I smiled.
"Thank-you Rian, you're the best." I smiled as I put my chin on his shoulder.
Jack and Alex seemed to be quiet. They walked outside with their heads staring down at their shoes. Maybe I was to harsh on them. I couldn't help it, Zack and Rian understood me so much more. And when something pissed them off they didn't react right away. They thought about it. Jack and Alex on the other side would jump right up and do something about it.
Broyce and Zack lead the way to the car followed by Jack and Alex. Rian was behind them and everyone was just silent. Their was no jokes, no smiles, no fooling around. And it was because of me. I sigh and continue to look forward. That's when I saw them. They we're laughing and waiting outside. I jump down from Rian's back and start backing away.
"Aubrey come on. What's wrong now?" Rian asked.
"I can't go out there. No, no I-I-I…" I started to freak out. My emotions took over my body and I sprinted away from the boys. I didn't know where I was running to, I looked up at the signs trying to figure out where the boys wouldn't look for me. I had no idea and I was freaking out badly now. I had sweat running down my face, and my body was shaking like a leaf.
"AUBREY! AUBREY STOP." I heard someone yell, but I didn't know who. I was hyperventilating and was scared of my surroundings. I felt like breaking down and crying but I didn't want people to see. I felt like screaming but I didn't want people to hear.
"Aubrey! Are you okay?" I turned only to see Broyce with Zack right behind him.
I shake my head as tears start to threaten.
"Come on, let's get you home." Zack says.
I shake my head. "I can't go out there Zack, their waiting out there. Please don't make me go."
Broyce looks at me confused. I shake my head hoping he wouldn't push for answers. He sighs and picks me up bridal style. I hide my face into his chest and Broyce just lets me breath his scent in. As we get closer to the door Broyce sooths me trying to keep me calm. Their still out there, smoking weed no less. I start to get jumpy but Broyce hangs onto me and Zack stands beside us. Rian stands on the other side feeling sorry for me.
As Zack opened the doors and we walked out I gripped onto Broyce's shoulders. I got nervous again, and then of course, Liam's best friend Oliver started talking. And not so nice things, I began crying and Broyce tried to walk faster.
"Oh look guys! It's Aubrey Greence! How ya doing with hooking up with guys? Looks like you already got five of them wrapped around your finger." Oliver yelled to us.
"Dude just shut the fuck up! Her boyfriend just died do you have to treat her that way?" I hear Jack yell at him.
I look up putting my chin on Broyce's shoulder so I can see what's going on.
"Oh shut the hell up dude. She should have died a while ago. I don't know who was stupid enough to save her though. She's a fucking cunt." Oliver said glaring at me.
"Don't you fucking look at her you piece of shit! She's done nothing wrong, so you can shut your mouth and kiss my ass." Alex yelled and then they walked away.
"Whatever freaks. Just wait till she dies then you can drop the act. Everyone is better off without her." I heard Oliver's girlfriend Mia say.
I look down again shaking and believing everything they say. Tears well up in my eyes again and I burry my face into Broyce's chest. I wish right there, right now, this moment I could just become invisible and hide from the world. I hear a car door open and Broyce sets me in the back of the van. Zack sits in the passenger seat, while Broyce gets ready to drive. Rian sits next to me and
Jack sits on the other side of me. Alex then gets the whole far back seat to himself.
I lay my head on Rian's lap and curl up into a ball. Jack grabs my feet and set them on his lap. I look up to him mouth 'I'm sorry' and try calming myself. From this morning to only two a 'clock this afternoon, everything has gone simply wrong. And it's all my fault.