Chapter Three:

Specialty

"Why would I tell him! I don't want him to dump me AGAIN!" I glared at the television. Tatsuha sat next to me still.

"I'm just saying. I know you. You're so madly in love with him that you'd tell him just out of guilt."

How could he be so calm about it? I remembered nothing and felt so dirty that not with the hottest scrubbing I could never wash away the filth. He was the one that got me drunk, and he sat there, grinning, just like that cat from that Disney movie me and Yuki watched that one night.

"And why are we watching THIS!"

"Because... You said that I could pick the movie and there weren't any Nittle Grasper tapes there..."

"Yeah, I told them to get rid of them... Don't give me that look, Shuichi! We've seen them all over a hundred times!"

"Hey, Yuki... Hold me."

"No, Shuichi."

"Pleeease?"

"It's a Disney movie! Just shut up and watch it."

"I'm scared of that cat"

"God, Shuichi, stop crying!"

I glanced over at the sixteen year old, brunette monk who sat next to me. I hated how much he looked and sounded like Yuki, and I was glad Yuki was coming home in a few hours. Just as soon as Yuki would walk through those doors, Tatsuha should walk right out and back to Kyoto.

I chewed on a pillow as I waited for that door to open and Yuki to step through.

"I can cry all I want!" I yelled out, but it was muffled and sounded like: 'My fan why fall sigh fun!'

"Huh? Just shut up..."

I tossed my wet pillow at him, "NO! You shut up! Stop talking like HIM! You never told me to shut up before! Stop it!"

My outburst startled him, "Fine, i was just trying to help you feel better... Wanna watch nittle Grasper?"

That sounded more like him.

I shook my head, "I'm not in the mood..."

"Not in the mood for Ryuichi-sama? Who can't be in the mood for HIM!"

"If you were in the mood for Ryuichi-san, why did you need me!"

"I-I'm not sure if... he's... gay..." Tatsuha said disappointment in his voice.

"Have you asked him?"I glanced up at him, wanting to chew on my pillow again.

"No, I wouldn't dare ask him THAT!." Tatsuha's eyes were pleading.

"Nope, I'm not going to ask him for you..." I dialed a number on my cell phone , "You can... You raped me all because I looked a little like Ryu-san--"

"RYU-SAN! You call him Ryu-san! You're so lucky you can be so buddy-buddy with THE Ryuichi Sakuma!"

I held up my index finger to make him become silent. "He may be recording at the mom-" I was cut off by Ryuichi's voice.

"Heeelloooo?" His voice sounded a bit too high pitched, but I could tell it was still him.

"Yea, Ryuichi-san?"

"Oh, hello, Shuichi-kun! We missed you! I should set up a play date for you and Ryuichi and me sometime."

"Kumagoro... May I talk to Ryuichi-sama please?"

"Alright, please hold." Suddenly Ryuichi started singing me his newest single as hold music. A song N.G. Hadn't yet released to the public.

"Ryuichi, don't sing to the fans!" I heard Pico-Pico Noriko-chan yell at him.

"It's Shuichi!" He yelled right back at her.

"Oh, tell him I said hi!"

"I can't he's on hold!"

"Ryuichi, why is Shuichi-kun on hold!"

"Kumagoro put him on hold... silly rabbit." He laughed. I sighed, and looked at Tatsuha. He had tears in his eyes, as if he wanted Ryuichi to sing for him. I chuckled a bit.

"Ryuichi, I'm here with Tatsuha and-"

"Tatsuha! Hi Tatsuha-kun!" I could tell he was waving to the phone.

I pressed my palm to the phone, "Ryu-san says hi..."

Tatsuha nearly fainted.

"Hello? HELLO! Shuichi?" Ryuichi yelled from the other end of the line.

"Yea, sorry. I got sidetracked. Tatsuha wanted to ask you a question."

"Alright. But i don't see why he didn't call me himself, I know he has my cell number, too..."

"Yea... He's just afraid to ask you. Here, I'll put him on." I handed the phone over to Tatsuha.

"NO! I can't talk to THE Ryuichi Sakuma-san!" He pushed the phone back at me.

"Come on... It won't hurt to try..."

"Hello! Shuichi! Tatsuha! Please, someone talk to meeeeeeee!" Ryuichi yelled at us.

"Come on, you don't want your idol to be sad, do you?"

Tatsuha reluctantly accepted the phone, "uh.. Hi, Ryuichi-sama. I was wondering if you'd want to... you know... if you're not too busy... go out sometime?"

"Like on a date?"

"Uh... yea..."

"a friend-date, or a date-date?" His normal Happy-go-lucky tone of his voice was slowly changing to a serious one.

"A date-date... I kinda... like you... but..." Tatsuha looked at the ground. He was on the verge of tears, "if you're not that way... I understand..."

"Tatsuha-kun... Is Shuichi-kun still in the room?"

Tatsuha and I exchanged confused glances, "Yea... why?"

"Could you ask him to leave? I would like to talk to you privately..."

Yea, it was gone. That spark in his voice that made everyone around him happy and joyous. He was in Ryuichi Sakuma serious mode. No more Kumagoro. Not at this time.

I nodded and walked to mine and Yuki's room.

As I looked around the messy room, I started crying again. I fell to my knees, sobbing uncontrollably, "Yuki.. why couldn't my dream be true? Why couldn't you love me anyway? Why don't you ever tell me that you love me?1"

I pounded on the floor and cried for a bout an hour.

"I brought gifts... and you're in here bawling?"

I stopped crying and looked at the figure standing behind me, "Yuki?" It WAS him, finally him. No more dreams or false reality. I quickly stood up and wrapped my arms around his neck, "Yuki!" I had to resist the urge to kiss him. My lips tingled with anticipation of his touch.

He only stood there, gazing at me. His golden orbs glistened in the light.

i just put the bags down and kiss me, Jerk/i

Yuki must have noticed the want and need in my eyes, for as soon as I had thought that, he pressed his lips to mine.

I was so happy he was finally in my arms again. When we parted I let go of him and stepped back a bit. I glanced at the bags in his hands. My curiosity made Yuki smirk.

He set the bags down, "You want to know what I got you?"

I nodded my head happily. Everything that had happened since he left a few days ago to just now drifted away when I saw those eyes, that face, and kissed those delicious lips. I watched him as he rummaged through one of the bags. I expected him to remove condoms, flavored lube, or a leather whip, but instead, he took out a bright pink box.

"there was a candy shop near one of the book store where I was signing my book, and I remembered that these were your favorite."He looked too nervous for only giving me a pack of pocky. He rubbed the back of his head while he stood in front of me with the pocky in his hands. He wasn't really acting like himself. I wondered what had made him so nervous.

I glanced out the window to see if K-san was going to shoot at us if he made a wrong move, but he was nowhere in sight.

I slowly took the box from my lover's hand and hugged it tightly. I wasn't happy because of the pocky, okay, maybe I was, but I was more happy that Yuki got me the pocky. It showed that be DID care. It showed that he cared about me, "so. Is Tatsuha still here?"

"Yea.. he was dancing through the apartment hugging your cell phone... I'm sure he didn't hear me yell at him to get out of my home..."

"Not likely... He probably got a date with Ryuichi" I smiled triumphantly, but it faded when Yuki's gazed switched from me to his bedroom.

please don't tell me he can tell what I did...

"What happened in here?" He gently pushed me aside to walk further into his room.

"I-I don't know?" I continued to look at the doorway, tears nearly falling from my eyes.