Chapter three: The Calvary
(Mansion)
Sheriff Sam walked into the dark room and vanished from sight. Everyone else poked their respective heads into the doorway, Dingodile turning the light switch on the wall on. However, once the lights were on, everyone saw the sheriff aiming his pistol at a gigantic, stuffed ape sitting in the middle of the room.
The sheriff also seemed to be the only one whom didn't notice this. "Alright, ya flea-bitten galoot! Put up your hands!" Sam ordered. "I'm a-gonna take you in!" Seeing that the ape wasn't putting up his arms, Sam continued. "I'm warning you, varmint! Put up yours hands!"
Everyone else walked into the room, Wily chuckling. "I'm afraid he can't raise his hands, sheriff." The odd butler said. "He's stuffed."
"I don't care how much he eats!" Sam snapped. "He ain't gonna defy an officer of the law!"
"He's about two corndogs short of a picnic basket." Coco muttered.
"Yeah." Tiny nodded.
"You don't understand, sherrif." Wily said with a smirk. "That ape was shot many years ago. He's no longer among the living."
"Huh? Oh…" Sam said, finally catching on. He placed his gun back into its holster. "Well, why didn't ya say so, baldy?"
Wily either chose to ignore the bald joke or didn't catch it. "Ever since the Colonel bagged him and brought him here, his spirit has been haunting these grounds."
Sam snorted. "Hah! You can't pull that old mumbo-jumbo on me!" He said as he walked towards the door to the room. "There ain't no such thing as an ape ghost."
As everyone else left the room, Tiny approached the stuffed ape.
"But…Tiny thought ape talk to him." Tiny mused, poking at the stuffed ape. "Is Tiny just seeing things?
Suddenly, a large, brown hand patted Tiny on the head. The huge feline's eye widened as he looked up and saw Donkey Kong hiding behind the stuffed ape, smiling and waving cheerily. Tiny turned white.
"Nope." Tiny whimpered.
As everyone walked towards the front door to see the sheriff off, no one was expecting Tiny to fly from the room in terror again.
"SHERIFF!" Tiny screamed, grabbing Sam's arm and trying to pull him back into the room again.
"What the?" Sam asked, pulled against Tiny's hold. "Let go of me, ya furry varmint!"
"Tiny, what's yer problem?" Dingodile asked, pulling Tiny away from Sam.
"Ape, Dingodile! In there!" Tiny insisted, pointing off into the room. "It alive!"
"Now stop that!" Dingodile scolded. "That ape's just a dummy!"
"He ain't the only one!" Sam snapped at Dingodile. "Now you listen to me, boy. This place is just too darn dangerous for you ta hang out at. You'd best get right back to where you came from."
"Uh…Don't worry, sheriff." Dingodile chuckled nervously. "We're going."
Wily laughed, jumping into the air in excitement. "Oh, goody! That means that the family jewels will all be mine!" He said.
However, Wily didn't notice it, but as he was jumping in the air, something fell from his pocket and rolled at Coco's feet. The female bandicoot picked it up, examined it and brightened up. She quickly put the object into her pocket.
"There ain't no family jewels." Sam told Dingodile with a smirk. "His little ol' mind wanders a lot. He just goes along for the ride."
With that, Sam walked out the front door and shut it behind him. As Wily walked into the next room, Coco made sure that he was out of earshot.
"Guys, look at what I found." Coco whispered, pulling out what Wily had dropped and handing it to Dingodile.
Dingodile looked at what he was holding and saw that he was holding a golden ring. "Oy! Where'd ya find this, Coco?" He asked quietly.
"It fell out of Wily's pocket." Coco replied.
"Well, ya'd better give it back to him." Dingodile added.
"Wait! Look at it, Dingodile! It's got a big K on the front, for 'Koopa'!" Coco insisted. "And just look at the inscription on the inside of it."
"Oy!" Dingodile said as he read what was inside. "It reads 'Fer mah nephew, Bowser'!"
"Oh! Pretty ring!" Tiny whispered.
"Don't you see? Maybe there IS a king's ransom in jewels here!" Coco said. "And they all belong to you, Dingodile!"
"She have point, Dingodile." Tiny added.
Dingodile sighed and put the ring on a mantle. "Ah don't care, Coco. Ah'm not stayin' here more than five more minutes. Our safety is more important ta me than some treasure."
Looking at where Wily had gone, the Australian saw that the old butler had returned. "Uh…It was nice meeting ya, Wily." Dingodile said, walking towards the door. "But Ah think we'd better head back home."
"So sorry you can't stay." Wily laughed.
Once Dingodile stepped outside, his eyes widened when he saw his jeep starting to sink in the mud. "Ah, no! Mah jeep is sinking!" He said.
Without thinking, Dingodile rushed out to his jeep and attempted to pull it from the mud, but only found himself starting to sink with it. "Now AH'M sinking!"
Standing just outside the door, Tiny and Coco saw their friend in peril. "Quick, Tiny! Come on!" Coco said.
"We coming, Dingodile!" Tiny shouted.
The tiger and bandicoot raced towards a tree sitting beside the mud and climbed it. Tiny grabbed onto Coco, wrapped his legs around a branch and hung over it, holding Coco out so Dingodile could take her hands.
"Help me!" Dingodile shouted, waving his arms in the air.
"Grab onto my arms, Dingodile!" Coco called back, holding out her hands. "Tiny and I will try to pull you out!" Dingodile promptly grabbed hold of Coco's hands, but it wasn't pulling him out of the mud. In fact, the branch Tiny was wrapped around was starting to pull itself down, dropping the three closer to the mud.
Wily, watching the scene from the porch, didn't make a move to help. "Oh, goody. They're all going to sink." He said.
Suddenly, Coco managed to pull Dingodile from the mud, but the branch was pulled downwards so much that it cause a slingshot effect, launching all three friends into the air and sending them flying towards the porch.
Wily stepped back, afraid that they'd land on him. He was lucky, because the three landed at the edge of the porch. He was unlucky because this caused the boards to spring from their bases, including the one Wily was standing on. The old butler was sent flying into the awning above the porch.
"Oh, dear." Wily sighed. "Most depressing."
(Later…)
Needless to say, Dingodile's jeep was too far into the mud to pull out without help. Wily had called a tow truck, but it wouldn't be able to show up until morning. That meant that Dingodile, Tiny and Coco were forced to spend the night in the mansion, and Coco seemed to be the only one of the three that was excited. Currently, the three friends were in the guest room and Wily was at the door.
"Since we unfortunately can't get your jeep out of the mud until morning, you'll have to spend the night." Wily said, placing a candle on the small table beside the bed. "Pleasant dreams." He then left the room, letting out another unusual-sounding laugh.
Coco sat back on the bed and yawned. Despite it being only nine, she was getting tired. "Well, goodnight, guys." She said as she blew at the candle and attempted to blow it out. However, the flame was still lit. "Hmm. That's strange." Coco mused as she blew on the candle a few more times.
The candle was still lit, however. Coco tried one more time, blowing straight down onto the candle, hoping that the flame would go out that way. The candle defied Coco once again and remained lit. "Hmm. That creepy Wily is probably trying to scare us with one of those trick candles."
Dingodile chuckled nervously. "Ah, it's okay, Coco. Leave it on!" He insisted. "Ya can't see any ghosts when the lights are on!"
"You mean that you're starting to believe Wily's stories, Dingodile?" Coco asked with a smirk.
"Well, ya can't take any chances, Coco." Dingodile replied.
"Yeah. Tiny watch cartoons a lot." Tiny pointed out. "Ghosts don't appear when lights on."
Coco giggled. "You guys sure are strange." She noted.
Dingodile was about to add when he suddenly shivered. "Uh…Ya guys feel a draft?" He asked.
"Yeah. It DOES seem a little colder." Coco noted, hugging herself and looking around.
"Where could cold air be coming from?" Tiny asked. "Window's are shut."
The three friends looked at the corner of the room. Something suddenly came through the wall, riding an old-fashioned bike. It didn't take long for anyone to recognize the figure as Colonel Bowser's ghost.
"Leave this place!" Bowser ordered, biking across the room. "Leave this place!"
As quick as he came, Bowser vanished again, riding through the opposite wall. However, the damage was still done, because Dingodile and Tiny freaked out and attempted to make a break for the door. This failed when they tripped over each other, landing on the floor of the bedroom.
"Guys, what are you doing?" Coco asked. "We can't leave until morning!"
"But with all of these…" Dingodile said, attempting to force the last word out of his mouth.
"Ghosts?" Tiny asked.
"Yeah, those!" Dingodile said as he got to his feet. "What're we gonna do?"
"I've got an idea." Coco said, reaching for a book on the table.
"Coco seems calm." Tiny noted. "Why is Coco not scared?"
"Because I think I know what we need to do." Coco replied as she flipped through the pages of the book. "Let's see…Ant Exterminators…Bug Exterminators…Ah! Here we go!" She said. "GHOST Exterminators!"
"Ghost Exterminators?" Dingodile asked, looking at the book with Coco. The page she was looking at was an ad for an unusual group called 'The Spirit Squad'.
"Yeah, look at this!" Coco said. "These guys are a new group and they say that they're the best ghost exterminators in the area! The Spirit Squad!"
"Ah dunno about this, Coco." Dingodile said.
"What've we got to lose?" Coco shrugged. "Let's call them."
Dingodile shrugged. "Ah have a bad feeling, but okay." The hybrid looked at the number on the ad, grabbed a nearby phone and dialed it.
Waiting a couple seconds, Dingodile spoke into the phone. "Hello? Is this the Spirit Squad?" He asked. "Well, we've got a job for ya at Koopa Manor. Come on over!"
Suddenly, a blonde head emerged from the receiver, scaring Dingodile. "Why, certainly! Always a pleasure to be of service!" He said.
As Dingodile jumped away from the phone, the blonde head pulled itself from the phone, revealing the body of a muscled ghost with a spout instead of legs. After the muscled ghost was out of the phone, a skinny arm emerged as well, awaiting help.
The muscled ghost pulled on the arm, yanking a tall, skinny and lanky ghost from the phone.
"Merci, monsieur!" The skinny ghost said.
"What's this 'merci monsieur' stuff?" The muscled ghost demanded.
"This is a French telephone!" The skinny ghost laughed. "Amusing, huh?"
"Yeah. Real funny." The muscled ghost muttered.
In the meantime, Dingodile, Tiny and Coco watched the scene in shock, although Coco was looking more excited than scared.
"Wow! Real ghosts!" Coco said in excitement. "This is amazing!"
"Ghosts, Dingodile." Tiny whimpered, hiding behind his friend.
"Ah KNEW there was something going on." Dingodile said.
The muscled ghost was looking into the phone, as if awaiting something else. "Hey, Shivers! What's keeping ya?" He asked.
"I'm…I'm stuck." A voice said from a bulge in the phone cord.
The muscled ghost pulled a hammer from out of nowhere. "Well, I'll un-stuck ya."
The muscled ghost slammed the mallet onto the phone cord, making a third ghost shoot from the phone. The third ghost, whom looked more normal than the others, grabbed hold of Dingodile as he passed by, stopping himself from going straight into the wall.
"Oh! Greetings!" The third ghost said to Dingodile. "We're the Spirit Squad, at your service, sir!"
Dingodile whimpered. "When am Ah gonna wake up from this nightmare?"
To be continued…
Biff Atlas (Luigi's Mansion) is playing Freako's role
Slim Bankshot (Luigi's Mansion) is playing Shrieko's role
Shivers (Luigi's Mansion) is playing Meeko's role