Italics: Flashbacks

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Chapter Three: Getting Acquainted

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"In which getting acquainted with a freezer is virtually impossible. "

[Time: 11:30 a.m]

Getting through the day was proving to be more difficult than I thought.

Why?

Well, let's just say that Mr. Freeze didn't talk.

Okay, it's not like he was just silent.

What I meant was that he didn't carry a conversation like a normal human being. The only thing I got from him was a monotone retort, a raised blond eyebrow and that creepy smirk that would make any child scream in terror. Apparently, the newspaper he was reading was more important than my 'friendly' talk because he didn't care about my hobbies, interests outside of work, or what he actually did aside from breaking a criminal's nose and insulting women. Maybe I was expecting too much, but it's not like I was asking him out on a date or something.

Come to think of it, even mentioning that sends a shiver down my spine.

And to make matters worse, my waitress friend Wendy was staring at him like a lovesick puppy while she delivered coffee to the construction workers across from our table. Why she hasn't burned some guy's pecker with coffee by now remains to be seen.

Not only was Mr. Freeze the coldest human being I have ever encountered in my life, he was a female magnet. From since we got into my car to the minute we arrived at my favorite café, women were just glaring at me. I could have sworn I heard a woman mutter under her breath 'she's way too lucky' when she passed by.

I guess that explains the whispers and jeers from every corner of the street. It's not like Mr. Freeze cared anyway, because he ignored it. Either a woman broke his heart, or he just didn't like women at all. I was the center of his sarcasm and unadulterated criticism, with the occasional insult here and there, of course, so that would explain things.

Okay, I know I haven't spoken about our perp in handcuffs at the local hospital last time. For the record, he had a broken nose but thankfully there were no teeth missing and he was, for the most part still recognizable. He was still freaking out over the whole incident and begged me to take him to lockup instead because he trusted me a lot more. Just to add to the traumatizing fear, I could have sworn Mr. Freeze snapped a pencil in half on purpose while filling out the report. It's not everyday that I have a perp fainting in the middle of the office for no apparent reason, unless he was on drugs or piss drunk.

I'm sure the criminals either passed away from heart attacks or ended up in mental institutions under Mr. Freeze's care.

Anyway, I can't say the trip to the café was a complete and utter disaster, unless you count Mr. Freeze lecturing me when I wanted to listen to Steel Rain, instead of the international news station. I mean, yeah it's something I should listen to but with the crap I've been through, I wanted nothing more than to relax and listen to my favorite rockband.

"How you can stand that junk is beyond my guess," he said and proceeded to lecture me some more about being an officer of the law. So I raised the volume to drown out his yapping and stuck my tongue out. Alright, so that was pretty immature, but at this time, he was in my territory and I was going to have the last say.

So, majority rules.

In your face iceman.

I got my coffee, eggs, bacon, and two buttery pieces of toast to mow down while Mr. Freeze decided on black coffee with no sugar, let alone milk. How someone could even stand coffee like that is beyond my guess. It's probably a health thing but then again, I wouldn't know.

It's not easy to communicate with a caveman stuck in the Ice Age.

Trust me, I've tried.

But then again, if I gave up that easily, it would make this day more intolerable than I could stand, right?

"So, I heard you were some top CIA agent..." I began, as I stuffed my jaws with the heaven-sent goodness of cheesy eggs. Jake's Café made perhaps the best scrambled eggs on the planet. With cheddar and provolone cheese, red bell peppers, and onions mixed with fluffy goodness, it was my comfort food for lousy days.

The joint wasn't bad either, with the mahogany and red seated booths, overhanging red lamps that were stuck in the seventies, and polished wooden floors. Waitresses were dressed in red shirts and black dresses, complete with bow ties of the same red color. The owner – Joe Pastiche took over after his father passed away two years ago. I have to admit – the kid did good and kept the place in order so far.

It took me around fifteen minutes to get here, with traffic being merciful for the time being. Which wasn't saying much, because it was only a matter of time before the roadway apocalypse occurred. Trust me, getting stuck in Los Angeles traffic in the middle of a heatwave is a complete and utter nightmare. I will never forget that day when my air conditioner decided to stop working in my car while heading to the beach with my brother (don't worry, we'll get to him soon).

Let's just say I wasn't a happy camper.

"…like…secret agent man or something. I have to say, I'm impressed. So tell me, why did you decide to join our lowly department? And what do you do for fun anyway? I mean, aside from busting a perp's nose in the middle of downtown Los Angeles."

Mr. Freeze didn't even look up from the newspaper. "...Are you genuinely curious, or is this another round of your fifty questions?"

I nearly choked over a piece of egg. "…What the…I was not asking a round of fifty questions! Can't you just act like a normal human being for once?! And yes, it my questions were genuine! There's nothing wrong with a simple conversation so we can clear the air and start over!"

I must have caught his attention, because the newspaper was lowered, and the frozen pits of the Antarctic was focused on me. "I prefer to keep our relationship professional. I don't see anything wrong with that, considering that we are on duty and I only accompanied you to this café because you wouldn't stop moaning about your morning coffee and breakfast."

"I wasn't moaning, first of all..." I shot back. "...and second of all, I was just asking simple questions! You know, like a normal conversation! "

"Then I will answer your simple questions. My idea of 'fun' is silence, where ridiculous questions are nonexistent. I was also transferred because of a special case and the fact that I'm your new partner."

Wait a minute, special case?

What special case?

Chief Randall didn't say anything about a special case to me!

I just stared at Officer Freezer.

This had to be some form of purgatory.

I refuse to believe its even possible for a human being to be this heartless. Okay, the academy insults was far enough but this was just pushing my limits of tolerance for scumbags.

"The chief wants us to get along! You know, I'd like to think we started off on the wrong foot! My questions weren't even ridiculous at all! Good grief, lighten up already! What in the world did I even do to you? Also, how come Chief Randall never mentioned this special case with me? "

"I'm sure Chief Randall briefed you about my credentials. And I don't need to get acquainted with you."

Yes, just ignore everything else I just said, why don't you…

He didn't even tell me about the special case for that matter.

If looks could kill, Mr. Freeze would have been the one to fear me. It took everything in me not to scream and throw an entire plate of food at his head. He was just infuriating. Everything he said, it was just begging for me to just explode like a firecracker on New Year's Eve. But, instead of blowing my lid, I decided to shake it off.

"Okay Mr. Grouch, I guess I'll finish my breakfast for now. That way, you'll get some peace and quiet."

And so, the infamous eyebrow tipping showed up. "What a pleasant surprise...I expected another retort. I'm actually proud of you."

My grip tightened around the fork.

Mr. Freeze's gaze just disappeared into the newspaper once more, leaving me alone with my breakfast.

Son of a…

It wasn't even worth finishing that thought at the moment.

Shaking my head, I turned away, picked up another forkful of eggs and chowed down. I'll just enjoy my breakfast and not even speak to him. Heck, the minute Kennedy and I met, we talked non-stop about our hobbies and interests but this man?

He was, by far unfunny and uninteresting.

And before I could get another bite in, Mr. Freeze speaks once more. "You chew like a cow Officer Redfield. I can hear it over the table."

I think my blood pressure shot up when he said that, because I did what no sane officer would have done in public. I jumped from my seat, marched over, and yanked the newspaper out of his hands. People began to stare, as a commotion developed around me. But did I care? No, because I ripped the newspaper to shreds and threw it in the nearby trash.

Then, I was back at the table, giving him a dirty glare. "Try saying that to my face instead of mumbling in your newspaper because believe me, I have no problems punching an officer, especially with an attitude like yours."

Mr. Freeze just lowered his hands, and turned to face me. "I only said what needed to be said. Your chewing was annoying, which in turn was distracting. I also don't think you'll get very far assaulting me. That, of course is a warning."

My eyes narrowed. "Won't get far? You either take that back or I'll make you eat those words!"

Mr. Freeze folded his arms, right in front of me. "You do realize that I don't have to move from this table to handle your childish tantrums, correct?"

"My childish tantrums?!" I yelled, throwing my hands up in the air. "You've been insulting me from since we entered this café! It's not like I didn't try to be nice!"

"Being nice?" Mr. Freeze chuckled. No, it wasn't a good hearty laugh. It was a laugh that would make the bravest person cringe and hide under their bed. "I'm sorry, I don't consider sticking your tongue out, raising the volume of your radio to drown out my distaste of your choice of music, and stomping around as acceptable behavior. Oh, and let's not forget that little fiasco on Cortland Street."

I could have sworn a vein popped up on my forehead. "You know; I wouldn't have acted that way if you didn't act like an android with a stick shoved up his ass!"

"Your insults wounded me greatly." The sarcasm was so thick, that a butter knife was useless at this time.

"You think this is funny, don't you?"

"Why would I not find this amusing?"

"Because it's not!"

"It wasn't? Oh, I'm sorry, I must have mistaken your lack of maturity as amusement." The sarcasm rolled off his tongue with each infuriating word he spoke.

I was seconds away from screaming. "Take it back."

He gave me an innocent look, all of which wasn't quite innocent to begin with. "Take what back exactly?"

"You know what I was referring to! I do not chew like a cow!"

"It was loud and distracting. It reminded me of a cow."

"You always seem to have this witty comeback. Day one, and I hate your guts already. One way or another, Chief Randall's going to see how much of a mistake it was to pair me with a sociopath."

"I appreciate your compliment, Officer Redfield. It warms my heart."

"That wasn't a compliment!"

"Coming from you, I'd say it was."

"You're really trying my patience, aren't you? This is your final warning. Apologize to me or I will take action."

"Take action? By all means, try, because I'm curious to see what they actually taught you at the academy."

"You're really pushing me to do this."

Mr. Freeze gave me another chilling smirk. "Yes, because as I mentioned, you won't get very far."

The hairs on my neck prickled, as my inner yen cracked.

And that was when all hell broke loose.

Yep, those classes didn't work, and I just made a mental note to strangle my trainer later on.

Rule #3: Keep your wits together, even if you're handling the devil himself.

Author Notes

As always, thanks so much for the reviews! As stated, this is a reboot so there will be revisions. This chapter has been cleaned up, with some things taken out here and there.