A/N: I would like to take this time to give a special shout out to my beta reader, SunflowerFran! This is the first chapter she has edited for me and I am so grateful for the second pair of eyes. She pointed out things I never would have thought of, and I am very happy she is working with me on this story!

This chapter is all Edward :)

WARNING: There are mentions of physical abuse in this story. I don't go into graphic detail.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Chapter 3

Edward

"Shit"

He cursed as he watched her quickly retreating form. He blew up again. Breathing exercises be damned. He was angry with himself, his therapy sessions had been going so well. He was proud to be able to say he had been keeping his anger under control, and now..."Fuck it."

He slammed the door and went back to the piano.

He mentally cursed her for interrupting him. He wasn't good with interruptions, especially when he was practicing.

Now he felt like shit.

He had scared her; he could see it in her eyes- her haunted brown eyes. They watered when he yelled, and it brought him out of his red haze, just barely; enough for her to come to her senses and run away.

He slammed his fists down on the keys, making an ugly jarring chord.

Why did he have to be so fucked up?

Edward Cullen was the master of self-loathing. He had this funny habit of getting uncontrollably angry. Really he was just angry with himself, but he took it out on other people. His adoptive parents started him in therapy when he was sixteen, after he beat a kid's face to a bloody pulp for bumping into him in the hallway in school. Three years later, and he was still seeing that damn therapist, and he still hated himself.

Dr. Jenks said he had 'anger management issues' that stemmed from 'early onset feelings of abandonment and resentment.' Whatever the hell that meant.

Once upon a time, Edward was a seven-year-old kid living with his alcoholic mother. She got wasted one night and passed out. That night, she choked on her own vomit leaving Edward to fend for himself until the neighbors noticed a funny smell coming from apartment B. Edward went into the foster care system, and was adopted by two wonderful people he thought he didn't deserve. The end.

Carlisle and Esme Cullen were saints. They took one look at a broken little boy with a temper, and said, "We want this one."

Maybe they thought they could help him, heal him, fix him.

They thought wrong. Edward was beyond fixing, and today was proof enough of that.

One of the best things Carlisle and Esme ever did for Edward was introduce him to the piano. He picked it up like some kind of goddamn prodigy. At nine years old, he was playing pieces that college age students had a difficult time executing. And he only got better from then on. It was only natural that he would go to college for music since he excelled a it. It was just too bad it didn't help him control his temper ... the whole reason he started in the first place.

No, that's what the breathing exercises were for; to control his temper. And they had been working for the past few weeks. Edward would start getting angry about something, and he would do what Jenks told him- in through the nose, out through the mouth, count to ten, repeat. It worked. At least he thought it did.

A buzzing sound filled the room, and he looked down at his phone.

Tanya.

Edward groaned as he opened the text.

BB why haven't you called me since last night? I had a grrrrreat time. You were so hawt ;)

Edward groaned again. Tanya Denali was the clingiest person he had ever met. She was totally unaffected by his temper, which he had let slip around her numerous times. She must have been too blinded by lust to realize that Edward was an ass and that she shouldn't want to be with him.

Yes, he had fucked her ... a few times,but that didn't mean he wanted a relationship. He slept with girls, it's what he did. It provided a much needed release for him in a way that playing the piano didn't. He wasn't ashamed of it, and he didn't expect the girls he slept with to stick around, just like they shouldn't expect him to.

He received another text.

Babyyyyyyyy! :(((((

He shook his head and turned his phone off. He turned back to his piano and continued playing.

Today was the performance for the new students coming into the school. He remembered last year when he had to sit through that nonsense. He had been bored out of his mind, and felt no sense of intimidation what so ever, from the skills the upperclassmen showed. He was better than they were, and he knew it.

And during his Freshmen year at CCM he made sure everyone knew it. Edward became somewhat of the 'golden boy' on campus. Meaning that the teachers loved him and fawned over his talent, and everyone wanted to be his friend.

Edward didn't want friends, though. He remembered having to constantly brush people off before they finally realized that he was a loner and wanted it to stay that way. People were still in awe of him and often stared, but he couldn't control that.

A knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts.

"What?"

A blonde headed boy appeared in the doorway.

"Come on Ed, let's go get lunch or something. You've been in here for hours."

Jasper Hale, Edward's one and only best friend, was always trying to get him to spend less time in the practice room and more time being a normal human being- by doing things like eating and actually sleeping.

"Sure, sure, I'm done anyway. Some chick interrupted me, and now I can't focus."

"Uh oh, I hope you didn't scare her too bad Eddie boy." he chuckled. Jasper knew of his anger issues and always tried making light of the situation. If only he knew how accurate he was this time. Edward shook his head, trying to clear away thoughts of terrified brown eyes.

He packed up his stuff and headed downstairs with Jasper.

"So Alice is looking good. I uh, ran into her while she was on her way to get her ID made."

"Don't fuck with my sister Jazz," Edward said seriously. Jasper was a decent guy, but he was like Edward when it came to women. He didn't want Alice being a 'one and done"' for Jasper, despite the fact that Jasper had been crushing on Alice for years.

"Hey man, I can't help that your sister is a hot piece of-"

"If you know what's good for you, you won't finish that sentence." Edward warned. Jasper just laughed and shrugged his shoulders.

"Whatever man."

They continued walking down the street until they reached a local diner that made the best burgers in Chicago. Edward felt his stomach groan in hunger, and it made him realized it had been over twenty-four hours since he'd eaten. He really had to stop doing that, it only made it harder to control his temper.

They found an empty booth near the back and ordered their usual.

"You ready for that performance today?" Jasper asked him through a mouthful of fries.

"Of course. I could play Clair de lune in my sleep."

"Oh yeah, how could I forget Mr. Musical Genius over here. It's honestly not fair, us normal folk have to actually have to put forth the effort, and you're over here practically drowning in natural talent." Jasper shook his head in fake disapproval.

Jasper also played piano, and he was amazing; just not as amazing as Edward.

"Don't feel bad man. Hey, if it makes you feel better I'll 'accidentally' mess up a few notes in today's show." Edward joked. They both laughed and continued eating.

After they had both been fully sated, they headed back to CCM. Edward insisted on heading back up to the practice room, and Jasper reluctantly parted ways with him.

Edward spent around eighty-five percent of his time in one of those rooms just playing for hours. Time would just slip away when he was in his zone, and before he knew it, five hours would have passed. He often had trouble sleeping, and would spend most nights playing, until his fingers cramped. But he would continue to play until the sun came up. Playing piano took him to a place where he could forget all the shit in his life and just...relax. It was addicting. If only it helped soothe his angry soul.

Entering his sanctuary, Edward sat at the piano and placed his fingers above the keys. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, allowing his mind to empty if only for a little while. Before he began playing, a pair of brown eyes flashed in his mind. He frowned a little, why was the girl from earlier still in his head? She was nothing special.

He pushed the image away and started playing. Music filled the room and wrapped around Edward like a cocoon, and he felt himself melt into the song. Unaware of everything, Edward finally relaxed, if only for a few hours.

A/N: So there you have it, a look into Edward's mind. It's pretty dark in there.

Chapter 4 will be up next Sunday!

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