Chapter 3
Dillon sat on his bed, reading a self-help book for women and talking to himself out loud.
"I cannot wait to see Jaxiepoo today. He's such a sexy beast. I have to tell him about my raging hormones. This book is great for helping you control them, but they're my friends." He hugs himself. "Why can't we just be buddies? I mean, I want to be in the mob and go to film school. I don't see why I can't do both. Look at Jason!"
Dillon takes his eyes off of his book to look up at his blown-up poster of his cousin Jason.
"Oh, the glory!"
"Wait!" Dillon gasped suddenly; realizing one of his daily chores was not yet completed. Ripping through the mail.
Dillon's put on his Homer Simpson slippers and slipped on his white robe that was decorated with pink cats.
He hugged his body, "I just adore terrycloth!"
He walked down his long turning driveway, fixing the curlers in his hair.
He opened the mailbox, making sure not to smudge his freshly manicured fingers. He looked up, remembering.
"Oh, my full body massage and facial is tomorrow! Cannot wait! Ric Lansing is the masseuse!"
Dillon went back to getting the mail and flipping through.
"Bills, bills, Tracy's jury duty stuff. Oooh! Cosmo and Vogue complete with free lipstick samples. Yes. Oh…my….flipping…God, Nickelodeon Magazine!" he poked the magazine, "I can't wait to read you, no I can't!"