Three
I wake up on my back with Jennifer laying on top of me, her arms wrapped around me. I look over at the clock. 10 am. Shopping with my mother. Crap. If there is one thing I did not want to do on my Saturday, it's go shopping with my mother. No, not just my mother. I don't do shopping. Shopping really isn't my thing.
Jennifer starts to move a little bit and I look down at her sleeping on top of me. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps.
I smile and decide that I should probably wake her up. I move the one hand that was on her back and slide it down a bit more, so it's more on her hip and I gently start to rub her back.
She wakes up and lifts her head.
"Hey you." I say.
She smiles at me. "Did I sleep on you all night?" She asks.
I nod. "I think so." I say.
She puts one hand on either side of me and pushes herself off of me. "I'm sorry." She says.
I put my hands back on her back and pull her into me. "You have nothing to be sorry for Jennifer." I say.
She smiles and moves up to kiss me.
She pulls back and puts her head on my chest. "Morning." She says.
"A very good one so far." I say.
She smiles and kisses me again. She pulls back. "We have to go shopping with your mother today." She says.
My head falls back against the pillows. "Ugh. Don't remind me. Please." I say.
She smiles and kisses me one more time before attempting to roll off me. I put my hands on her back and hold her firmly in place.
"Don't even think about it." I say.
"Let me up Emily. I'm too heavy." She says.
"You weigh about as much as a small monkey." I say.
She laughs and kisses me. "When are we going shopping?" She asks.
I laugh. "I have no idea. Probably sometime after breakfast. Which should be any minute now." I say.
She smiles and lays her head back on my chest. "That's the best night's sleep I've gotten in a long time." She says.
I smile and squeeze her. "Me too." I say.
We lay here for a few minutes before my mother knocks on the door. Jennifer rolls off me, groans and covers her head with the blanket and cuddles into my side.
"E, can I come in?" My mother asks.
"Yeah." I yawn.
She opens the door and steps in.
"Morning mom." I say.
"I went to check on Jennifer, she wasn't in her room." She says.
I laugh and pull the blanket back. "She slept here last night." I say.
My mother laughs when she sees Jennifer cuddled up to my side. "You do make a cute couple." She says.
"What's up mom?" I ask.
"I just wondered where Jennifer went. I came up to tell you that breakfast was ready and she wasn't in her room." She says.
I nod. "Okay. I'll drag her downstairs in a minute." I say.
She laughs and walks out, closing the door behind her.
"Come on Jennifer. Breakfast." I say. She doesn't move. "Jennifer?" I ask. I slide down the bed so I'm looking at her face. She's crying. "Jennifer, what's wrong?" I ask. She doesn't answer. "Jennifer baby, look at me." I say, cupping her face gently. Her eyes flick up to mine, then back down. "What's wrong?" I ask.
She shakes her head. "It's nothing." She says quietly.
"Baby it's got you in tears. It's obviously something." I say.
She sighs. "I just got scared for a second." She says.
"Scared of what baby?" I ask.
"I don't know." She says.
"Are you scared of me?" I ask.
She shakes her head. "God no, I could never be scared of someone so sweet. I don't know why I got scared. It just happens sometimes. I have flashbacks and nightmares. I just got scared for a second." She says.
"Flashbacks Jen?" I ask.
She nods.
"Can you tell me why?" I ask.
She nods. "Two months ago, before my mom died, we went on a vacation to Florida. They went out to dinner and I went down to the restaurant at the hotel and this guy, he came up to me and started talking to me, he was only like sixteen, and I thought he seemed nice so we went up to his room just to hang out. He came onto me, and I told him I was gay. He didn't like that. He forced me to have sex with him. He was so rough. I didn't want to. He just made me. It hurt so bad but I still..." She says.
"You still what Jennifer?" I ask, rubbing her back gently.
"I had an orgasm." She says.
"I swear I didn't want it. It just happened. It had never happened before. I was a virgin." She whimpers.
I nod. "I know you didn't want it Jennifer. It's a natural reaction baby." I say.
She nods. "I know, but I still just feel really disgusting. If I didn't want it then why did it happen? Why did my body let it happen?" She asks.
I shake my head. "I wish I could answer that for you baby. I really do." I say.
She nods. "Once he'd finished he decided to smack me around a little. He left bruises where he was sure nobody would see them." She says.
I put my hand on her arm. "He raped you." I say.
"C-can I show you something?" She asks.
I nod.
She pulls her t-shirt over her head so she's sitting in her bra and underwear. She pulls down the top of her sports bra a little bit so I can see the bite mark scar, just above her right nipple. I reach out and run my fingers over it gently. She flinches.
"He did this?" I ask gently.
She nods, more tears forming in her eyes.
"Did you tell anyone?" I ask.
She shakes her head. "I didn't want to tell anyone. He was sixteen but he felt so much older. I just feel so disgusting. I don't even know how someone like you could want me." She says as she puts her shirt back on.
I nod and wrap my arms around her and pull her close to me. "It's okay Jennifer. You're safe here sweetheart. I'm gonna help you. Okay?" I say.
"How can you help me?" She asks.
I smile. "You can talk to me. Wake me up when you have nightmares. I'll help you anyway I can think of Jennifer." She nods.
"Thank you." She says.
I smile a little bit. "Don't thank me. I want to help you Jennifer." I say. She nods. "Do you want to go get some breakfast?" I ask. She nods again. "Okay. Come on sweetie." I say. I realize when I'm helping her off the bed, that this sweet girl is much more troubled than I thought.
When she stands up she's shaking so bad she almost falls down. I wrap my arms around her to steady her. "Jennifer, can you look at me for a second?" I say.
She turns her head to me and I smile a little bit. "Can I kiss you?" I ask.
"If that's what you want. Nobody's ever asked me before. They just did it." She says.
I smile and pull her closer to me than she already is. "I'll only kiss you if I have your permission." I say.
She smiles. "You can kiss me whenever you want to. I'll always be okay with it." She says.
I smile a little bit and kiss her. "Are you sure you want to go shopping today?" I ask.
She shrugs. "I don't know yet. I'll tell you after breakfast." She says.
"Do you want to take the elevator or do you think you can do the stairs?" I ask.
She smiles. "I think I'll be okay." She says. I smile and we walk out of the room.
We walk slowly down the hallway and stairs.
We get to the bottom of the stairs and I turn to look at her. "Are you okay?" I ask.
She nods. "Kiss me and I'll be better." She says.
I put my hands on her hips and kiss her. "You wanna go shopping or do you wanna just lie in bed all day?" I ask.
"Bed. Definitely." She says.
I nod and kiss her. "Do you want to change into actual clothes? Maybe put some pants on?" I ask.
She shakes her head. "No. I just want food." She says.
We walk into the dining room and see my mother already at the table with a plate of pancakes in front of her.
"Good morning mother." I say.
"Good morning girls." She says.
Jennifer sits down and I start to walk into the kitchen. "Where do you think you're going?" She asks.
"To tell Marco what we want for breakfast." I say.
Her eyes go wide and I know exactly what she's trying to say. You're going to leave me alone with your mother? I nod.
"You'll be fine, Jennifer." My mother says.
"Go get your food Emily." She says.
"What do you want to eat?" I ask.
"What can I have?" Jennifer asks.
"Whatever you want." I say.
"I'll just have a few waffles then please." She says.
"Do you want any fruit?" I ask.
"Strawberries and blueberries please." She says.
I nod and lean down to kiss her. I pull away about a centimetre and smile. "I'll be back." I say.
JJ's P.O.V
I watch as Emily walks into the kitchen and I awkwardly turn back to face Elizabeth.
"I spoke to the school's principal this morning and explained your situation. She doesn't know the details, but she knows you are staying here and you're not quite settled yet. She agreed to give you and Emily a few months to deal with everything and you do not have to go to school. And I would like to talk to you and Emily once she gets back out here." Elizabeth says.
I nod. "Thank you." I say.
She nods. "How are you feeling?" She asks.
I shrug. "I'm okay." I say.
She nods.
Emily's P.O.V
I walk back into the dining room and sit down. "Marco says the food will be ready in about ten minutes." I say sitting down in the chair beside Jennifer.
She nods. "Okay." She says.
I smile and take her hand. "Come here." I say.
She stands up and shifts over and I pull her down to sit on my lap. "What are you doing?" She asks.
I smile and wrap my arms around her. "What does it look like?" I ask.
She smiles and wraps her arms around my neck and leans down to kiss me.
"Are you still okay with going shopping Jennifer?" My mother asks.
"We want to get her settled in more okay mom?" I say. She nods.
"Okay, but she will eventually need clothes and a cell phone so just tell me when you're ready okay Jennifer?" She asks.
Jennifer nods. "You don't have to get me a phone; I'll be fine without one." She says.
"Nonsense. I'm buying you a phone." My mother says.
Jennifer nods. "Thank you." She says.
I tighten my grip on her.
My mother clears her throat. "I have already told Jennifer that I spoke to the principal of your school today and she has agreed to give you a few months to get settled into everything as long as I can find a home school tutor for the both of you. And if Jennifer is going to be staying here I would like to set some rules." She says.
We nod. "First, Jennifer, I didn't say anything last night because it was your first night here, but if you could sleep in your own bed from now on, I would be very grateful." She says.
I shake my head. "No mother." I say.
My mother looks at me, astonished. "Why not?" She asks.
I look at Jennifer. "Can I tell her?" I ask.
Jennifer nods, then turns and puts her head on my shoulder, burying her face in my neck.
I turn a little bit so I'm kind of looking at her face. "I really think you should be the one to tell her sweetheart." I say.
She nods and takes a deep breath before she takes her head off my shoulder. My arms tighten around her and I kiss her cheek, before whispering "it's okay" in her ear.
She nods a little. "Two months ago, before my mother died, we went on a vacation to Florida. One night my parents went out for dinner and I didn't want to go with them, so I went down to the hotel restaurant instead. This guy came up to me and he seemed nice so we decided to go hang out in his room. He was only like sixteen. After a while he started flirting with me and then he tried to kiss me. I pulled away and told him I'm gay and he didn't really like that too much. He pushed me onto the bed and he forced me to have sex with him. It didn't really affect me at first but now I have flashbacks all the time and nightmares most nights. Emily helped me figure out that sometimes I just need to be close to somebody and let them help me feel safe. Last night was the first night in a really long time that I actually slept and felt safe. Your daughter does that, so if it's okay with you I'd really like to keep sleeping in her room." Jennifer says.
I see a tear roll down my mother's cheek before she hastily wipes it away.
She nods. "I understand. You can sleep in Emily's room but your room will still be there." She says.
We nod.
"I'll buy you a cell phone and I will open a bank account and get you a debit card and you'll have the same allowance as Emily." She says.
Jennifer nods. "What is Emily's allowance?" She asks.
"Fifty dollars a week." My mother says.
"I really don't need fifty dollars a week." Jennifer says.
"You may not need it, but you'll still be getting it." My mother says.
Jennifer nods. "You will have the same curfew as Emily: nine o'clock on school nights, eleven o'clock on weekends, unless you are staying somewhere else or I know exactly where you are. You can have friends over whenever you wish. I will be finding you a home school tutor, if you wish to be home schooled, like principal Jones suggested, or if not, you can go back to school on Monday. It's your choice." She says.
I nod and look up at Jennifer. "What do you want to do?" I ask.
She looks at me. "Home school. I need some time to figure out what's going on with me." She says.
I nod. "I'll stay and with Jennifer." I say.
My mother nods as Marco brings the food out.
"Thanks Marco." I say.
He smiles. "Morning Em." He says.
I smile back.
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We finish our breakfast and walk back up to my room. I walk into my room after Jennifer and close the door. I walk over and sit on the bed. She's looking down at her hands.
"Jennifer what's wrong?" I ask.
She looks up at me and smiles. "Absolutely nothing. Just thinking." She says.
"Whatcha thinkin' bout?" I ask.
"Why you call me Jennifer." She says.
"If you don't want me to I can stop." I say. She shakes her head.
"No, it's just that, everybody else calls me JJ, and I can't figure out why you don't." She says.
"I call you Jennifer because I like your name." I say. She smiles.
"I hate it when people call me Jennifer." She says.
"I can call you JJ if you want." I say.
She smiles. "I like it when you call me Jennifer." She says.
I smile and move closer to her and put an arm around her.
She leans into me.
"I didn't go to a doctor after it happened. I just wanted to forget about it. What if I have some sort of disease? What if I'm pregnant? I haven't had a period since it happened, but I just thought it was the stress, and then mom died and I just, Emily what if something's wrong?" Jennifer asks.
She's starting to panic.
I put my hands on her shoulders. "Okay sweetheart, you have to calm down. If you want to, we can go see my gynecologist, right now okay?" I say.
"Right now? Don't you need an appointment?" She asks.
"She also happens to be my godmother, so no." I say.
"Can we go? I'm sorry, I was just thinking about it and I'm just really scared now." She says.
"Of course. You get dressed, and I'm gonna tell my mother we're going out for a little while." I say.
She nods slowly and moves to get dressed.
I walk downstairs and find my mother still at the table reading what looks like meeting notes. "I'm gonna take Jennifer out for a little while." I say.
"Alright." She says.
"I'm driving." I say.
"Are you sure that's a good idea? It's only been a few weeks." She says. I nod.
"I'll be fine mother." I say.
She nods.
I jog back into the bedroom where Jennifer is just pulling on her shirt.
"Just let me throw on some clothes and we'll go." I say, pulling off the shirt I slept in.
"Do you want me to leave or something?" Jennifer asks.
I shake my head. "You don't have to if you don't want to. Can you grab me a different bra?" I ask as I toss the one I'm wearing into my laundry hamper. I turn to look at Jennifer who is standing, eyes wide, staring at me.
"You're not shy are you?" She asks.
I laugh. "There are a lot of topless beaches in Italy." I say.
She just nods. "Can I have my bra or do you just want to stare at my chest all day?" I ask.
She closes her mouth and blinks a few times. "Uh bra yeah, where are they?" She asks.
"Top drawer. Oh toss me a pair of underwear too?" I say.
She opens the drawer and tosses me the bra and underwear.
I walk over to my closet and grab a pair of black pants and a blue top. "Okay. My boots are at the door. You ready?" I ask.
Jennifer nods and we walk downstairs.
"Do you still have my keys?" I ask my mother.
She holds them up and tosses them to me. "Call me if you need me." She says.
"I will." I say as we walk through the door into the garage.
"Where's your driver?" Jennifer asks.
"I'm driving." I say.
"I didn't know you could drive." She says.
"I got my license when we moved here." I say. Jennifer nods. She looks around the garage for a few seconds before settling on the cars.
"Which car?" She asks.
"The Cruze." I say.
"Wow. It looks like it's never been driven before." She says.
"It hasn't." I say.
"Why?" She asks.
"I just got this one." I say.
"Did you have a different one before?" She asks.
I nod. "Yeah, I was in an accident." I say.
"It was in the papers wasn't it?" She asks.
"Yeah." I say.
"Which car was yours?" She asks.
"The red one in the ditch." I say.
Jennifer is quiet for a moment before she says, "didn't I read something about it rolling a few times before it landed roof down in the ditch?" She asks.
I nod. "That would be the one." I say.
"Is that where you go the scar?" She asks, referring to the scar on my abdomen.
I nod. "Yeah. The other car hit me and there was a big piece of glass from the window that hit me." I say.
Jennifer nods. "Are you sure you want to drive Em?" She asks.
"I have to eventually." I say.
I unlock the car and sit down in the driver's seat.
Jennifer gets in next to me and puts her hand on my arm.
"You okay?" She asks. I nod, and start the car.