The SHIELD Reports

by SironaFlett .o.x.o

On the morning of the 15th of July I received an email from a Miss Darcy Lewis with 20 documents attached revealing the inner workings of S.H.I.E.L.D and the 6 operatives known by the public as "The Avengers". But don't tell Fury.

3. Chapter 3

S.H.I.E.L.D DEBRIEFING

MISSION: PERU

Notes taken by Agent Maria Hill

9:02am: Avengers assimilate into board room.

9:03am: Tony Stark suggests that debriefing shall start with tequila and gin.

9:03am: Clint Barton agrees.

9:03am: Natasha Romanoff agrees.

9:03am: Steve Rogers agrees

9:04am: Nick Fury disagrees. Ergo, no tequila shots or gin.

9:05am: Stark suggests whiskey instead.

9:05am: Director Fury starts debrief

9:06am: Stark interrupts, asks why AGENT HILL is taking notes.

9:07am: AGENT HILL REFUSES TO ANSWER

9:08am: Bruce Banner asks how long they have to be here.

9:08am: FURY decides not to answer.

9:10am: Thunder and lightning outside.

9:15am: Thor enters bellowing and waving mjolnir

9:16am: Fury tells him to sit down.

9:17am: Stark's cell phone is confiscated because he was playing Angry Birds instead on listening to the debriefing.

9:18am: Stark's other cell phone is confiscated after it goes off playing Black Sabbath's IRON MAN

9:19am: Stark complains, Fury notes it.

9:20am: Stark complains again.

9:21am: Thor asks for Pop-tarts

9:22am: Fury asks if they can finish the debriefing quickly.

9:22am: Banner seconds that notion.

9:23am: Thor once again asks for pop-tarts.

9:24am: Thor demands pop-tarts.

9:25am: Agent Coulson is told to go find some pop-tarts. And coffee. And gin.

9:26am: Agent Coulson is told not to get gin. Stark is told off.

9:30am: Stark suggests that wearing pants is a violation of is human rights.

9:31am: Thor concurs and proceeds to pull off his own pants.

9:31am: Fury declares that the only person who is not required to wear pants is the Hulk because a material hasn't been found that is stretchy enough. Thor pulls his pants back on

9:32am: Banner reminds them that they have a mission ahead.

9:33am: Rogers reminds everyone that they have a mission.

9:34am: Romanoff reminds everyone that they have a mission ahead.

9:35am: Barton reminds everyone that he wanted some gin.

9:36am Stark agrees.

9:37am: Fury asks Banner to locate item taken from S.H.I.E.L.D security. Banner agrees and leaves.

9:49am: Stark declares that he should go and help "Brucey-Wucey" do the complicated science thing.

9:50am: Rogers tells Stark to shut up

9:53am: Stark is sent away to the labs for breach of conduct towards Rogers, a full report will be submitted later.

9:55am: Fury dismisses what is left of the team.

9:56am: Barton asks for gin.