-1DISCLAIMER: I don't own things. Go away.
Revan, Jolee and Juhani made their way back to the Ebon Hawk in silence. They came upon the beach they were stranded on to find the rest of the group lounging around in beach attire. Revan hissed and dashed to the shade the Ebon Hawk provided. She waited for Jolee and Juhani to catch up before clearing her throat in an authoritative manner to gain the attention of her minions- crewmates. Sorry about that. The scurried up and gathered around her, all shouting out random questions. Revan's face grew red with anger and annoyance.
"You can all shut the hell up now!" They did. She took a deep, calming breath and continued. "Questions shall be asked in the order of alphabetical order using first names."
"Interjection: Observation: That sentence was horribly awkward, Master. Perhaps you should save the massacre of the Basic language until after our current quest is over."
"Exclamation: Shut the hell up you tard!" Revan retorted angrily. HK responded with a meek 'yes Master', and Revan continued down her path of sentence massacring. "Alright, after the comment that so rudely was made by HK my minion droid, the questions that were going to be asked by the person of alphabetical superiority based solely upon the first name shall now commence."
The small group turned and conversed with each other. Mission stood in the middle and counted people off on her fingers.
"There's me and Zalbaar, Jolee, Juhani, Carth, Canderous, and screw the droids." T3 whirplebooped in annoyance. Mission gave him a sharp kick to the side of his head-like robotic appendage before continuing. "That means that Canderous goes first, then Carth, Jolee, Juhani, me, and Zalbaar can fight to the death about who goes second."
"Or," Carth said loudly, "we couldn't, and we could just continue with the alphabetical order thing."
Mission snorted. "Sure, if you want to be boring, fine." Everyone agreed before turning back to Revan, who had begun to apply a thick line of black eyeliner. She looked up from her compact mirror, snapping it shut.
"Who's the first tard?"
Canderous stepped forward. "Right…when's supper?"
Revan backhanded him harshly. "You've just been served. Who's next?" She barked, her voice lined with acid that burned. BURRRNED! Carth cleared his throat and got into character, still trying to shake some sand from his swim trunks.
"Uhhh….line." He whispered to Mission, who kicked him in response. He let out a little yelp before turning back to Revan. He gave his surroundings a quick look. "Hey…where's Bastila?"
Revan shrugged. "She's a Sith now. NEXT!"
"Whoah, wait." Carth totally messed up the alphabetical, one-question rule by interjecting. "What do you mean she's a Sith now?"
"Uhh…I really don't know how I could have phrased that any clearer, Carth." Revan stated blankly. "She's a Sith now. That's it. That's all. End of story." There was a moment of silence before Carth spoke up again.
"Wait…so you're telling me that Bastila is a Sith now?"
"No, I'm telling you that Bastila is a Sith now." Revan said, clearly getting more annoyed as time went by. "What's so hard to understand?"
"But-" Carth stammered. "Bastila is Bastila! The stodgy stuck-up Jedi bitch! How could she become a Sith? Does not compute!" Carth yelled while grabbing the sides of his head. "Carth no understand!"
Revan rolled her eyes and pulled a bottle of chloroform and her chloroform rag out of her awesome Star Forge robes. She wet the rag and covered Carth's nose and mouth with it until he passed out and fell to the sand. Revan tucked her instruments of unconsciousness back into her awesome robes and smiled.
"He looks so innocent when he's sleeping. We should draw something embarrassing on his face." She grinned wickedly while pulling out a black Sharpie marker. Jolee put a hand on her arm and shook his head.
"We have more pressing matters to attend to."
"What? I thought we got all the laundry done while we were buggering around in the Ancient's temple thingy!" She exclaimed, rather dismayed. Jolee sighed.
"We did, but I stored one of my suits wrong and it's all wrinkly now. We'll have to press it again."
"NO! I'll BURN the stupid thing! Ugh…let's just go to the stupid Star Fork."
"Forge." Juhani corrected.
"What?" Revan spun to face the Cathar, who smoothed out her robes. "Don't touch me!" Revan screeched while hitting Juhani's hands away from her. Juhani looked dismayed and ran after her own hands. (ahh…the English language is a wonderful thing, isn't it? Especially when left to one's own interpretation. But enough of that silliness.) Revan smoothed her own robes (much more expertly than Juhani ever would have been able to). "Right. Star Forge. That's what I said." With that, she sauntered onto the ship, using the Force to drag Carth behind her. Everyone else followed suit, who just happened to be following Revan.
(Right. Like I said, enough of that silliness. That's just too silly. Too many cookies for me O.o)
"Blah blah blah Star Forge, blah blah blah losing, blah blah blah need your help." Admiral Dodonna garbled on about military crap to Carth, who garbled back.
"Blah blah blah Bastila evil, blah blah blah we'll help, blah blah blah waffles for breakfast." They both laughed about something and the holographic image of Dodonna disappeared. Carth piloted the Ebon Hawk with grace and skill and whatnot until they managed to board the Star Forge. Revan practically kicked the loading bay door down before barrelling off into a small group of Dark Jedi neophytes, who seemed to be having a nice spot of tea with their Jedi counterparts.
"BONZAIIIIIII!" She chopped the lot of them ('tehm' referring to the Dark Jedi neophytes) clean in half before cackling maniacally and continuing on, leaving her minions-crewmates (pardon me) biting her proverbial dust. They decided to let her do her own thing and set up a card table. Jolee motioned to the small group of nearby Jedi.
"I think she'll be fine. How would you young twerps like to have your asses whipped at a game of poker?" The Jedi eagerly accepted the challenge.
"Wait…where did Revan get those robes from if this is the first time we've been in the Star Forge?" Carth questioned to no one in particular. HK's vocabulator twitched out, almost making it sound like he was clearing his throat.
"Explanation: In our travels, Master had befriended what she referred to as 'HAXORZ'. They were the ones who procured Master's current attire."
"Should've guessed." Carth mumbled before throwing a couple of chips into the pot. "Are you really supposed to add these to chicken noodle soup, Mission?" She gave him a sharp poke in the ribs with a pointy stick she had found on the beach area.
"Keep dumping those chips in the pot, or it'll be a sharp, pointy fate for you." Zalbaar laughed most heartily. Carth was dismayed.
"REVAN! Mission's holding me at sharp stick point!" He wailed.
"You have a blaster, you moron!" Was the faint, yet distinguishable reply. Revan huffed impetuously at Carth's stupid interruption, then continued her massacre. She was running around then she sliced into someone who fell to the ground.
"ARGH!" screamed the previous sentence, its substance slowly oozing onto the cold metallic floor of the Star Forge. "My verb tense…present, then suddenly past…" With that, it died. Ed. Died'ed. Revan gave it a parting kick before running off, presumably to murder some more sentences. I mean, Sith. Sithentences. Eventually, she hacked her way to a confrontation with Bastila. Angsty music was playing in the backround, and Bastila was sitting in the floor writing dark, angsty, undeniably crappy poetry about the futility of life and other crap like that. Revan strode up to her and laughed.
"You are most pitiful, Bastila."
Bastila glared up at Revan through the bangs that covered her eyes. "You'll never understand the pain I've been through! No one understands me!" She began to sob while continuing to write crappy poetry. Revan rolled her eyes while trying to control the urge to vomit in her own mouth. It truly was a pitiful sight. She gave Bastila a sharp kick to the side.
"Hurry up and get out your lightsaber so I can fight you and kill you." Revan ignited her own lightsaber and got into a ready stance, itching for a challenge. Bastila just started crying more and writing even crappier poetry.
"My life is pitiful! I'm worthless! I can't do anything write!" She sobbed woefully. Revan proceeded to vomit in her own mouth. She gagged for a while after that, then finally regained her composure.
"Your moral fibre really has degraded, hasn't it." She stated. "You even speak the wrong spelling of a word! You're pitiful!" Revan spat on Bastila before turning off her lightsaber and stalking off. She was at the door that would inevitably lead her to Malak (it had a sign above it that said 'DO NOT ENTER! MALAK'S ROOM!' and then some stupid looking skull and crossbones which made Revan vomit in her mouth yet again), but stopped right before entering, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
"Too bad you'll never fully understand…the conspiracy." Revan almost whispered the last words, but Bastila had caught all of it. She began to twitch spastically. A cruel smile found its way to Revan's face and made it's home on her lips. Complete with a two-car garage of evilness.
"CONSPIRACY! I KNEW IT!" Bastila squealed, tearing out her hair. Revan watched as Bastila flailed around for a while longer before finally falling still, most likely due to exhaustion. She was really flailing. Like, with reckless abandon. Revan laughed and continued on.
Well, I'm tired and done typing this chapter. I'm tired. Damn insomnia. I'll update again soon (hopefully). I think that the whole atmosphere was kinda changed in this chapter, but I had, like, ten cookies, so give me a break. Review if you want. If you don't want to, don't review. That was probably obvious, though. I'm gonna cut myself short now. Bye!