"C'mon Shaun you can trust me! Just jump down into my arms!" Ted shouts up, rocking his arms back and forth like he's cradling a baby.
"Fuck off Ted! You were the one who told me to come up here!"
Much discussion ensues and after several ideas are shot down by Shaun, including him "sucking it up" and just jumping down, leaving him there, and creating a leaf pile for him to jump into, we come to a decision, although Shaun still has misgivings. After having Shaun swing down to hang from his arms, Tegan leans down and Ted curls up on the ground for me to step up to sit on Tegan's shoulders. I pause, surprised that Tegan agrees so readily to have me sit on her shoulders, but I do it anyways. Tegan stands up fully and I'm able to reach around Shaun's ankles while Ted and Johnny wait below to catch him. Shaun lets go and I try to slow his descent but he ended up falling too quickly so I was pulled forward. As Shaun plummeted to the ground towards Ted and Johnny, Tegan and I teetered forward, screaming as we tripped over Ted or Johnny or Shaun (they had all fallen to the ground tangled in a confused mass) and fell to the ground, landing on our already disgruntled band mates. After untangling ourselves from each other, we burst out laughing at the ridiculous scene we had just caused and hearing each others' accounts of what they had seen to be happening during the calamity.
"All I saw was this enormous MASS just plunging towards me and I tried to hold my hands out and stop it from killing me but got a foot in the shoulder and was LAUNCHED backwards."
"Yeah well your shoulder also LAUNCHED that enormous mass straight into my FACE. One second I see Shaun landing on top of you and the next I'm on the ground CRUSHED by the BEHEMOTH."
"Yeah well SOMEone's knee went STRAIGHT into my face so I don't want to hear you complaining Ted."
"One thing I'm holding Sara up on my shoulders and the next thing I know her legs LOCK around my neck and pull me forward to my doom. I wasn't particularly worried about where my knees were going since I was attached to Sara doing god knows what up there."
"I was trying to hold Shaun from falling too fast! But he was SO HEAVY so I got pulled forward and I think I clenched my legs as a reaction. At least you had their bodies to fall on! I went face first into the grass!"
We discuss our versions of the event for several more minutes before deciding that it was Shaun's fault for being physically fit enough to climb such a ridiculously tall tree in the first place. Finally we're all huddled together outside the bus, finalizing plans to go to a pub not far from us and deciding whether to walk or bring the bus. After deciding that the bus is too inconvenient to drive, we decide to walk and grab warmer coats before heading out.
As we pushed through the biting November air, I thought back to everything that had happened since our fight and smiled. It was kind of unusual how quickly Tegan and I had made up, when I thought about it. And not only had we resolved the fight but seconds later we were hugging and then I'm on her shoulders trying to get Shaun down. Usually it took a bit longer for us to get back to normal terms, even after we'd apologized and resolved our issues. And even then it was rare for us to be so physically close so much. We have sort of an unspoken agreement about personal space. Maybe because we'd been shoved together our whole lives, or because we've been seen as one entity so much in our lives, it feels kind of weird to be physically close to Tegan. Almost like I need to maintain my distance from her so I can maintain my own identity. The closer I get to Tegan, the more likely I'll be mistaken for her. Early in our childhood, we didn't mind being mistaken for each other, but once we grew into adolescence and that phase of intense individuality and independence, we hated it. I guess that was probably when we started avoiding being too close together. As kids we were always very close and comfortable around each other. My mom often had to make us sleep in separate rooms just so we wouldn't develop a need to be together to be able to sleep. After she went to bed, though, we'd just sneak right back into the same bed. I don't really know why we kept up the distance thing after our teenage years and early adulthood. We're still independent and individual people, but we're confident in our independence now, so being mistaken for the other doesn't really bother us. I never really felt comfortable touching Tegan after that phase – only when it was absolutely necessary and then for as short a time as possible. It wasn't out of any personal disliking of the idea, just thinking that Tegan would be annoyed with me if I hugged her when I was upset or held her hand when I knew she was upset. Now I'm starting to think that maybe I was wrong. Maybe she thought the same about me; that I wanted to continue the no-touching rule and that if she came near me I'd be annoyed with her. What with what's happened today though, even though it hasn't been very much, I'm starting to think that maybe that's the case. Neither of us wanted to be so far from the other, but we were just too scared to go back to the comfort around each other that we used to have.
My mind is still pondering these thoughts as we arrive at the pub, but I'm quickly brought back to the present as I'm met with a warm rush of air as we step inside.