Chapter 3

Peeta and Haymitch spent the next 45 minutes talking about Peeta's progress and work with Dr. Aurelius. They talked about District 12 and its rebuilding. They talked about what a mess Haymitch's house was.

Haymitch leaned forward, grabbed the white liquor and took a hearty swig. As he drank, he looked over his glass at Peeta. Peeta shifted a bit uncomfortably and looked down at the table.

"So….when are you going to ask me about Katniss?" Haymitch said as he put his drink down on the table.

Peeta continued to stare at the table and didn't make eye contact with Haymitch.

"I…." he began. "I…..I don't even know where to begin, Haymitch. I want to know but I don't want to know." He lifted his eyes and looked directly at his mentor. "I've thought of her every minute of every day for the last 3 months….and now here I am, 100 yards away from her, and I am afraid to even ask how she is."

Peeta got up from his chair in frustration. He began to pace and ran his hand through his hair. Haymitch just watched and took another sip from his drink. After about 5 minutes of silence, Haymitch spoke.

"She's completely lost without you."

Peeta stopped pacing and looked intently at Haymitch.

"What?"

"She's lost without you. She hasn't come out of that damned house since we've been back." Peeta took his seat back at the table. "She won't answer the phone. Her mother abandoned her again after Prim died and left Katniss to fend for herself. Gale is in District 2 and as far as I know, they haven't talked since Prim died, either. Greasy Sae goes over there twice a day to make sure Katniss eats. She says that she is still in the same clothes since she got home from the capitol."

A look of shock, disgust and disbelief spread across Peeta's face.

"Yea! Tell me about it" Haymitch retorts. "Where is Effie and her crew when you need her?"

Peeta thinks a moment and then asks, "If all this is true.."

"It is" interrupts Haymitch.

"If all this is true," Peeta begins again, "How do know that it's me that she's lost without? Sounds like she could be lost without her mother, or Prim….or Gale."

"Boy, believe me when I say that it is you that will make a difference in her life. Of course she misses Prim. The girl got blown up, for God's sake…but it's YOU that she's in love with."

"Haymitch, you know that was all an act for the cameras," Peeta replies uncomfortably.

"Wrong! It WAS an act for the cameras….until she really fell in love with you."

"You think she fell in love with me?"

"Yes…..I do" he said sarcastically. "And so does all of Panem. Well, what's left of it."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well for starters, it was written all over her damn face every time she looked at you since you two were in that cave. Oh, she tried very hard to hide it from everybody. Especially herself. I do have to say that it wasn't until you got electrocuted and your heart stopped that I knew I was right. I think if you had died, she would have killed herself right then and there."

Peeta sat there taking this all in. He now felt even more confident that the kiss on the beach was real and not part of the show for Panem. During his treatment with Dr. Aurelius, he watched the tape of him getting electrocuted and Finnick bringing him back to life. Peeta did have to agree with Haymitch that Katniss was very upset when she thought he was going to die.

"Before the Quarter Quell, she was here begging me to save you. Made me promise that it would be you that lived, not her."

Peeta smirked because he knew that he made the same deal with Haymitch about Katniss.

"When you were taken by the Capitol, it crushed her. She would have killed me if she could have. She tried to, actually. And when we rescued you from President Snow and you were….well, hijacked….part of her died inside. The only way for her to keep going was to write you off as gone to her. It was too painful for her to even hope that you would come back to her someday. And right now, she's over in that house waiting to die and the only one that can help her is you."

The two men sat there in silence; Haymitch's words still lingering in the air. Peeta tried to speak several times, but the words wouldn't come. Haymitch poured himself another class of white liquor and pushed back in his chair. Peeta looked out the window to see that the night had become pitch black.

"Wow….I didn't realize that it was so late." Peeta said.

"You're welcome to stay here, there's plenty of room, as you know."

"Thanks, but I think I need to be alone tonight. You've given me a lot to think about."

"Suit yourself."

Peeta pushed back from the table and stood up.

"Thanks for the drink, Haymitch. I'll see you tomorrow."

He turned to leave and began to walk to the door.

"Hey!" Haymitch called after him. "Really good to have you home."

Peeta smiled and walked out of the house. He breathed in the crisp night air and took one more look at Katniss' house. The fire in the kitchen fireplace omitted a soft glow that could be seen through the windows of an otherwise dark house.

"Goodnight, Katniss. I hope to see you tomorrow." He said aloud as he walked into his house and closed the door behind him.