Disclaimer:
As always the story and characters are not mine and belong to their respective owners.

This fanfic is writen solely for my amusement and that of others.

Thanks to the reviewers who have kept me going! I originally had planned this as a one shot what if scenario from a subplot of the saiunkoku novel

but somehow it has morphed into angst fest --;

No Ryuuki in this chapter but I promise he'll make his appearance soon!

Also I hope Kouyu Fangirls will forgive me! (hides)

Special thanks to my beta (Karen)

Chapter 3

By the third decade of his life, Li Kouyu had attained one of the highest positions in the Land: that of Secretary of Civil Affairs upon retirement of his adoptive father, Kou Reishin. It was a role that he had been raised to someday assume, yet he had worked hard nonetheless to make himself worthy, never taking anything for granted. Kouyu worked hard as he had always done, but lately had been spending more time at work and less time at home. Today, like most days, he was buried under a mountain of paperwork that had to be reviewed, revised or signed. Unlike most days, however, today he was not alone.

"Today will be a day just right for a walk in the royal garden, and perhaps some tea with the ladies of court... Really, anything but work," commented Ran Shuuei, who was paying his friend a visit. "Kouyu, my friend, when was the last time you had fun? Last time you got drunk or even had a good time with your Lady?"

Kouyu shot Shogun Ran Shuuei an annoyed glance, telling him the subject was off limit. "None of your business," he added for good measure.

"Well, it is my duty to keep you level headed and sane. One cannot hide behind work to escape one's problems," Shuuei continued, unfazed by his friend's predictable reaction. "Say, how about we take a trip to the Red Light district for good old time's sake? I bet Kochou-san would appreciate our visit." He chuckled, taking another sip of his tea. "She's certainly one of those who just gets better with age, much the same way as I like my wine."

"Do as you wish, but don't drag me into your filthy pass time." Kouyu shrugged him off. "Now if you will, I have work to do," he added as he busy himself with organizing the piles of documents on his desk.

"Work work...and you wonder why your wife is hardly at home these days. In fact, if I'm not mistaken she's at the Palace..."

"Visiting her father. There's nothing wrong with that," Kouyu interjected.

"Well, I guess you could see it that way, or..." Shuuei trailed off and remained quiet for a brief moment. He was briefly distracted by the dazzling weather outside. He couldn't phatom why anyone would want to be cooped up in this stuffy office when there was so much more fun things to do out there. He much preferred the old home of the Office of Civil Affair in contrast to Kouyu who had been more than eager to distant himself and his family from the imperial court.

"Speaking about the Court, things seem to be going well for my sister. She had her first audience with His Majesty and that's a record since she's been in his harem for say... seven months, and not once did he come to share her bed."

"And why should I care one way or the other what His Majesty does or does not do with your sister?" Kouyu scoffed, turning his back to his friend as he busied himself with his work.

"Just saying. Palace gossip, that's all… But then again it could turn into a serious matter. His Majesty has yet to marry or produce an heir.

"A Legitimate Male one that is..." Shuuei added .

"I've had enough of your idle gossip."

Shuuei smiled with a glint of mischief in his eyes. He enjoyed getting a rise out of his friend every now and than if for nothing else but to see him flustered and taken off guard. "Ok, fine. Lets change the topic. I'm sure you have your own problems pressing on your mind. Reishin must be most anxious for another grandchild, perhaps a male one this time around eh?"

"Shut up already! You're worse than a bunch of cackling palace maids."

"Ah, sorry. Must have hit a sore spot. But really, as your friend—and I do mean it in the most sincere way—do you not think it odd that you two sleep in separate rooms? What has it been...three years? Three years, thirty-six months ...156 weeks of lonely nights spent alone in a cold bed . Ah, it's quite tragic considering what a fine woman Shuurei-chan has become."

Kouyu was now several shades of deep red as he clenched his fist against the desk.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" He slammed his fist onto the desk, sending a pile of papers flying around. He got up and grabbed his friend by the collar. "One more word out of your damn mouth and I swear..."

"What? I guess you do have some balls after all. Perhaps you could put them to good use in the bedroom," he smirked.

Kouyu then did something he didn't think he had in him: he swung his fist against his friend, hitting him square in the jaw.

Shuuei caught himself as he stumble backward. A trickle of blood slowly made its way down from the corner of his mouth. He smiled and slowly wiped the fresh blood. "You're ten times prettier when you are mad," he laughed.

Kouyu snarled at that last comment.

"Well, I think my job is done here." Satisfied, he made his exit, leaving Kouyu unnerved and confused.

Finally alone, Kouyu spent the remaining hours of the afternoon trying to complete his tasks, but with little success. His thoughts were a mangled mess of doubts and confusion. He thought he had done the right thing by marrying Reishin's beloved niece. He had hoped that this would bring him closer to becoming a bonifide member of the Kou clan, and perhaps getting his adoptive father to finally see him as such. He knew Reishin loved him though he would never express it openly. For Reishin, he had taken a gamble, marrying a woman who was expecting another man's child, a woman who he did not love.

Or, at least it was so in the beginning.

Kouyu had thought it would be a simple matter of marrying, breeding and taking care of her needs, that of the child and whatever other offspring that may result from their union. However, things had gotten complicated. Somewhere along the line he had grown quite fond of her; she was probably the only woman he did not find to be weak, ignorant or useless. The fact that she had brains, refiness, yet was down to earth due to her humble upbringing intrigued him. Despite her high birth rank, she lack that sense of entitlement so many nobles believed were theirs to demand. Sure she was not the most beautiful woman he had ever seen but she was the only one he would have agreed to marry. He sometimes wondered why fate had played such a cruel joke on him. The one woman he cared for put him at odds with the most powerful man in the land, his Emperor, who he had served loyally.

He was only far too relieved when the rumors at court about the emperor's impending engagement to a daughter of the Ran Clan finally materialized. It provided him with a small sense of security that Shuurei was yet again far from the emperor's grasp.

He can't remember the exact time or place when he noticed his increasing attraction to her. He couldn't even put a word to this feeling that tightened his chest whenever they were alone in his study. Regardless of whatever it was that they were working on, he had begun feeling more and more like a school boy experiencing his first crush.

Kouyu sighed. She was so close yet so far.

Lastly, he wasn't quite sure if 'love' would even be the appropriate term to describe his feelings for Shuurei, but it was the closest he could come up with. It was true that he hadn't consummated the relationship with her; he was buying himself time, waiting for her to forget Ryuukiand finally turn her heart to him. However, the longer he waited the less confident he was that things would change in his favor. He had to make a move. As much as he hated to admit it , Shuuei was right on the money.

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"Ah, Shuurei, once again you've outdone yourself with these delicious Manjuu. I have to say I dearly miss your snacks, " Shouka said as he savor the home-made buns.

"I'm glad you still like them, Father," she smiled .

"So what do I owe this visit to? And I see you brought a guest with you."

"She wouldn't stay alone with the maids so I had to bring her with me."

"She's grown quite a bit since the last time I saw her hasn't she?" Shouka gestured, extending his hand to the young girl whose hands were tightly clinging to her mother's garment. "Come here and let Grandpa take a look at his little princess."

"She's quiet isn't she?" He remarked to his daughter.

"Not really, she's got quite a mouth. She tends to be shy around others though," replied Shuurei as she gently pushed the child towards her grandfather.

"Do you want to try some of these? " he asked, offering her a bean filled bun.

The little girl brightened up. Delighted with the offering, she reached out her small hands taking the bun from her grandfather. He patted her head as he lifted her up to his lap. "Here you can have all the manju you want."

The child munched contently onto the soft chewy bun. She had grown so fast like most kids do. He studied her and couldn't help but think that while she had her mother's temperament, she was almost a spitting image of the emperor. Of course, only a handful of people knew the origins of her birth, but he was afraid that as the child grew up and eventually was introduced at court, things might get cumbersome for her and her mother.

"Is everything alright, Father?" Shuurei inquired

"Ah , yes. Don't mind me. I'm just an old man and sometimes I get lost in my own idle thoughts." He smiled kindly.

"I appreciate you coming by to see me," he added.

"I've been wanting to visit and this was a good excuse to do so. Also, I had wanted to borrow that book I mentioned awhile back."

"Yes, yes. I have it on reserve." He nodded.

Shuurei smiled as she looked around the spacious library with its many books and memories from years gone by. Things didn't seem to have changed much. The collections in the archives were probably the only thing that had expanded. It was in this library she had formal lessons with Ryuuki taught ironically by the man she'd later marry. And there was that time too where Kouyu had made a sampling of dim sum and brought it to her and Eigetsu who were both novice government officials-in-training. Kouyu rarely cooked these days but when he did on special occasions, such as visits from her uncle Reishin, it was always a treat.

The rest of afternoon went by quickly and soon she had to bid her father goodbye. Tonight was Kouyu's birthday and she had planned on making him a special meal.

---------

In the end, he had given into his own curiosity to explore Shuuei's offer in hopes of it distracting him from his problems at home. He presented himself at his friend's home later that evening. They headed by horse to the colorful nightlife of the Hana Machi (redlight destrict). Shuuei was as always popular with every lady he met on his way to Kochou's brothel. He waved and blew kisses serving only to annoy Kouyu who was by then wondering why he had even gotten himself into this mess.

Upon their arrival they were greeted by Kochou who had been expecting Ran Shueei but was surprise to see he was not alone.

"Ran Shogun, I see you have a guest with you tonight. And one I must say I do know well."

Kochou was a discreet Madame, and while she knew her clientele had its fair share of married men, she was a bit skeptical about having Kouyu partake of her girls.

She smiled courteously with a glint of mischief in her eyes as she inspected the new comer.

"Now you're not going to make this a habit are you, Li Kouyu-sama? I'd hate for you to do anything that would upset my precious Shuurei-chan." She continue her closeup inspection of Li Kouyu, who had begun feeling a little tense and anxious. He was starting to wonder if this wasn't all just a bad idea to begin with.

He would hate to have word leak to Shuurei that he had been here, but then again, he thought to himself she probably wouldn't care one way or the other. She didn't care to have him share her bed, why would she care who he screwed? He blushed at the thought of doing anything of that sort, of anything other than drinking tonight.

"Nah, he's simply keeping me company and will enjoy your fine wine with me tonight," Shuuei interrupted, putting an arm over Kochou as he drew her in a close embrace. "Now my love, bring me my favorite drinks and some girls."

"I see you haven't changed one bit," she smirked as she nonchalantly shrugged his arm off her shoulder.

Kochou clapped her hands, signaling her girls to gather around. Shuuei wasted no time picking out which girls he wanted to entertain them. Kouyu simply looked at the floor feigning interest in the tapestry. He was mortified that he had come this far, but Shuuei would not let him leave without a few drinks and he was better off complying than arguing with him tonight. With girls in arms, the two were led into a private room with an abundance of drinks and other commodities to relax and party away the night.

After a few drinks, Kouyu had managed to relax enough to let his guard down so that he did not mind the fact that one of the girls had managed to get him half undressed. Soon after, he found himself slumped on a cushion seat as the girl maneuvered her moist agile tongue and mouth around him. He couldn't believe he'd agreed to this. Part of him felt dirty and disgusted that he had lowered himself to the base standards of Shuuei, but that other head of his did not seem to care much about guilt and morals. The girl was quite good. Even though he had never so much as seen a naked female, he knew almost by instinct that she was good at what she did. He stifled a moan as he clenched his teeth so tightly his jaw ached, and for the first time that night, felt all the long day's frustrations mounting to some volatile and unknown pitch concentrated below the belt. He was most certain he would die from the sheer pleasure. Finally, he came experiencing a warm pleasurable calm that took over as his seed spilled into his partner's mouth. He was too drunk, too tired, or otherwise he would had apologized for the mess he created on the girl's face .

Shuuei looked up, away from the bouncing breasts of the girl straddling his lap as he watched his friend from the corner of his eyes. He had watched, fascinated by the various expressions of pleasure on Kouyu's face which he thought were positively delicious. For a moment he couldn't help but feel immensely jealous of the girl between Kouyu's thigh as he climaxed onto her. He chuckled, amused at how easily the woman-hating highly principled Li Kouy had come undone with a simple oral action.

Suddenly without warning, Shuuei pushed the girl off his lap and signalled to the girl who had been with Kouyu to come to him . She complied without much bidding. Shuuei grabbed the girl by her hair, bringing her close for a long wet kiss. He thrust his tongue into her mouth as he massage her tongue, tasting the sweet tangy lingering taste of Kouyu's seed. He had envy the way her mouth moved up against Kouyu's shaft wishing he was the one taking the dazed Secretary of Civil Affairs to his first orgasm .

The night was young and Ran had insisted Kouyu get the full treatment, which meant bedding one of these random girls. Kouyu scoffed at the idea. No matter how pretty they were, he didn't have any inclination of wanting to go further than a blow job. There was only one person that he wanted to share that act with at this very moment. That desire was so intense and strong that he was sure he'd go insane if he didn't somehow ...

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Shuurei sat down alone at a table arranged for two. She stared at the full course meals she had put so much effort into preparing that evening.

She had forbidden the maids from intruding on her territory in the kitchen on this one occasion. It was something she wanted to do without assistance from others. She had always been a good cook and was glad that Kouyu and others had appreciated this fact over the years. Long before their marriage and during the year prior to her post as Sai Province governer, Kouyu and Shuuei made it almost a weekly ritual to come to her father's place, bringing various fresh produce from the market for her to prepare as a meal.

She looked towards the empty entrance of the dinning hall for the hundredth time, then back to the finely decorated dinner table with a mouth-watering display of various culinary delights representative of each province of Saiunkoku.

The hour went by and still no sign of her Kouyu.

Dinner had gone cold but she waited, hoping he would come. Kouyu didn't show up, even when the moon had made it way high up in the sky. Finally, she rose from her seat and left to retire to her bedchamber. She couldn't help but wonder if he had just forgotten, or perhaps he gotten carried over by work.

Sometime in the dead of the night she heard a urgent knock which startled her from her sleep.

It was one of her maids.

"Shuurei-dono, Li Kouyu-sama is on his way here, " whispered her maid from behind closed doors.

"HE IS?!" she gasped kicking the cover off the bed.

"Yes ma'am . I'll be going now."

She nodded, dismissing the maid. She was relieved to finally get word of him, but at the same time, she couldn't help the sudden urge of anger that came upon her at his total disregard

to her dinner invitation.

"Ok calm down, there has to be a damn good reason why he didn't show up", she assured herself. She quickly fixed her robe and brush her hair to look somewhat presentable. The sounds of steps approaching her room alerted her that he was near.

"Shuurei, I'm coming in," a familiar voice behind the door announced.

"You're late..." she remarked as he clumsily made his way into her room.

He stumbled in to the dim room. He seemed unsteady on his feet. She lit a new candle providing much needed light. Suddenly the angry look on her face turned into that of concern.

"Are you ok?" She rushed to his side to steady him.

"Yes...I am. I just have the most horrible headache," he said haltingly as he brought one hand to his forehead.

"Come on, have a seat," she said helping him onto the bed. "I will fix you some tea. I think I still have some of that herbal tea Dr. Sou recommended as an analgesic," she said as she attempted to get up. However, before she could get up he had grasped her arm.

"No, stay...I'll be alright soon," he said slowly. His speech seemed off, Shuurei thought to herself.

He fell back onto her bed exhausted. He momentarily closed his eyes as if asleep. "Your bed is so much more comfortable than mine," he commented.

"Well if you want, we can trade for tonight," she commented dryly. She was not amuse at this point. She could clearly smell alcohol on him. He was drunk and most likely the reason he had forgotten about the dinner.

"Ah, that would be nice but you know what would be even better...:?"

"What?" she asked.

He give her a crooked smile as he stared at her through glazed eyes. "You know, I don't get to see you much with your hair down like this. It suits you." He caressed her raven locks.

She blushed slightly as he rarely commented on the way she looked, though she had caught him on a few occasions staring at her in a peculiar manner unknown to him.

"You smell good, too," he continued as he drew closer to inhale the gentle jasmine scent lingering on her hair.

"And you reek of alcohol. What gotten into you? You don't drink!" she chastised.

Ignoring the stern look on her face he pulled her close, causing her to fall into his arms as they collapsed onto the bed.

"Your skin is so soft and warm," he whispered against the tips of her ears as he held her in his embrace.

"Kouyu...You're drunk!" He responded with a kiss on her lips. At first, she was surprised by the suddenness of his lips onto hers but soon began to protest as she made a weak attempt to push herself off him.

He continue as he rolled them over so that he was now on top of her giving her little room to escape. He held her arms still as he pressed his lips against hers followed by his tongue sliding past her lips.

"So soft and moist," he moaned nipping her lips as he continue his assault on them.

She put on a some resistance at first, but soon he was able to coax her into opening her mouth to his. Shuurei felt flushed and delirious, overpowered by his feverish and unrelenting caresses and kisses. He tore his lips from hers momentarily to lavish them on other parts of her body starting with her ample bosoms. Motherhood had been quite generous with her much to his surprise. He groan as he kissed her through the frail cloth of her night garment. He sucked at them and enjoyed the small squeaks she made each time he pulled her nipples back into his mouth. He felt a delirious tremor through every fiber of his body matching her quavering frame beneath him.

Soon he was tugging at her clothes, uncovering more of her skin in a frantic pace as if afraid he'd snap out of his uninhibited state. Shuurei was almost too scared to look him in the face, afraid of what she would see in those eyes at a moment such as this. She had ceased resisting him allowing him to continue his exploration of her body as she stared up at the ceiling.

He grabbed her cheeks forcing her to look at him as he pushed her garment up against her waist. "What is it? Does the idea of making love to your husband disgust you that much?" he questioned bitterly.

"You call this making love? I don't even recognize you any more. "

He squeezed her breasts roughly and smirked as she winced.

"You're hurting me." She protested as tears threatened to fall from her brown eyes.

"Am I? I'll be gentler then." The features on his face seemed to soften just a bit as he spoke those words. He ran a finger over her cheek and kissed her, pushing her lips apart with his tongue. He broke the kiss and whispered in her ears, " I can't stand sharing you with anyone, not even his majesty."

Her eyes widened. She could feel her heart pounding against her chest. Is this what this was all about? "Kouyu..." she began.

He shut her up with another kiss before she could utter anything else. He did not want to hear, did not want to feel pity or whatever other meek feelings she may bring out of him. Tonight he just wanted to feel her softness and warmth. He wanted to fuck her until she cried his name.

He slid his trembling hand down her legs and felt that place Shuuei had always alluded to when discussing his countless sexual conquests. He shut, his eyes savoring the sweet warm wetness that was between her thighs. He felt his breath catch in his throat as he realized he couldn't restrain himself any longer. Pushing her legs apart and maneuvering himself free of his own bothersome pants, he thrust home. She grimaced a little as she felt him push suddenly into her.

She wasn't sure how long it had been from the time he had entered her to the moment he had climax but when it was all said and done she was too tired and confused to care anymore. He rose up from the bed gathering his clothing and quickly redressed himself.

Without a word he left the room.

Shuurei felt a cold shiver take over as she rolled onto her side hugging the sheets tightly against her naked frame.