"...you are my rainbow to keep. My eyes will always be watching you; never will I lose sight of you."
― Vesna Bailey
When she finally comes to terms with the fact that she has a new life, it's been two months. Two months on complete autopilot, given it's not very hard because of the baby body. For those two months she can feel the anxiety wafting off her mother and she knows she should feel guilty, but fuck she just lost a whole lifetime and for what? For her to go through the wonderful experience of growing up again, but wait, this time you'll remember everything. Golly Gee Whiz isn't that wonderful? She doesn't want a second go at potty training. She definitely doesn't want to go through puberty all over again. She doesn't even want to learn how to speak a second damn language, because of course Fishburne 2.0 had to put her in a world where English obviously wasn't the primary language. She doesn't even know her own name for God's sake. How the hell is she going to learn anything?
It takes her two weeks to realize her new mother was speaking Japanese. It takes another three months for her new mother to catch on to the fact that she's trying to learn, but New Mom seems distracted with something. A bit paranoid about something. New Mom never once takes her outside of the room they're staying in, and this is just a hunch, probably born in. This worries her greatly because if her New Mom is so scared of taking her newborn outside of a dark and dingy room, she could tell because even with her poor baby eyesight the room was still incredibly dark and there was dust just floating around the room in clouds and every so often a cloud would float into her face, then that must've meant she was running from something. Or someone.
They couldn't stay in the room for any longer, her baby needed fresh air, she needed fresh air. Hiyori missed her home, missed Konoha, missed her old self, but she knew she could never go back and she hated it. With every fiber of her being she hated it. She hated what he did, she hated him,but she refused to hate her girl. She wanted her team back, her family, she wanted her daughter to have a family. People who would love Eihi like she was their blood. She never thought she'd have a baby, not under these circumstances, she'd always had all the family she needed and would ever need. But now she was exiled and she couldn't go back, not with all this shame in her heart. Hiyori hated that, but she had to protect her child first and Konoha was not the place to raise her little one. She knew that, she accepted that. The question was, why did it have to hurt so damn much?
Sometimes her New Mom cried and it broke her heart. She knew those tears, she knew that pain, she felt the loss in that little room. She felt a sadness as infinite as the stars and with all the weight in her lungs daring her to cry she resolved to be enough. Enough for her New Mom's loss to have not been in vain, because even in her early days, even before the complete shitstorm took over, she knew that her Mother's loss held her at fault even if she felt her Mother didn't.
Yayy finally updated, sorry if this is complete shit. A review would be appreciated.
Edited: 10/29/16