The convoy of horseless carriages sped through the muddy dirt roads of Mewni's capital city, splashing through puddles of human waste, piles of garbage, and the detritus of preindustrial urban life. A pedestrian dropped his wheelbarrow, and hurriedly got off the road to let the convoy through, his eyes on the raised crossbow of the man next to the driver.
Marco grimaced as a pile of mud splashed onto the window of Star's coach, and inspected the dirt and rubble that smeared his suit and tie.
He opened the top hatch, and gingerly peered out of the carriage. "You know, Star, if your mother added some iron panels and a cupola for the crossbowman, this thing would make a pretty good armored fighting vehicle. Well, it would get stuck in the mud pretty easily, and I'm not sure whether you can make tracks for the thing."
Star didn't reply.
Marco turned to his friend and master, his voice low. "You still upset about the monsters?"
Star nodded. "I really, really wanted some time with my mother."
Marco sat down. "You know that's not possible, Star."
Standard security procedure was to keep the queen and heir apparent in separate carriages, preferably in separate convoys, to minimize the risk that both would be killed in an attack on the convoy. But it was also necessary… for the plan.
Star nodded. "Yeah, yeah, continuity of government and whatnot."
The carriage's rattling lessened as the convoy sped onto the cobblestone-lined, wealthier part of town. Marco stuck his head out again. The gargantuan, onion-domed turrets of Butterfly Castle loomed ahead.
"How the heck did you people build a thirty-storey tower without concrete and steel? Unless the thing's solid through-and-through, brick and stone don't quite have the necessary structural strength to…"
Star rolled her eyes. "We have concrete, Marco."
"Right. The Romans did too. Still…"
"And magic too."
"You know, that's what I don't like about magic. It doesn't explain anything. How does it do it? Magic. Why does it happen? Magic, it's just magic."
They were all on edge after the secretive meeting in the tavern on the way back.
Star's compact mirror came to life. Her mother's voice echoed through the carriage. "Star! Where are you? Are you home yet?"
"Three minutes from the front door, Mom." Star's voice was flat.
Marco raised an eyebrow. "I didn't expect your mother to give you a role."
Star looked lost. "Neither did I."
The tavern was dirty, smelt of vomit, and lit only by the light of five candles. Marco hesitated as he stepped through the door, Star in tow.
Moon Butterfly, Queen of Mewni, turned to face them. In the dim candlelight, Marco could make out the faces of the members of the Magical High Commission and a pair of burly, fur-clad barbarians. Much to Marco's surprise, the Captain of the Guard was absent.
A figure stepped out of the shadows, ribbons trailing from her violet hair.
"Well look who finally showed up."
Moon nodded. "Star. Mr. Diaz. I trust you understand the importance of absolute secrecy in the success of this… operation."
Marco frowned. "Where's the Captain of the Guard?"
Moon exhaled. "He won't be joining us just yet."
Marco nodded. With potential access to every part of the castle, there was no telling whether Eclipsa had compromised – bribed, subverted, or mind-controlled - the Palace Guard.
Star looked around. "Uh… Mom? What exactly is this "operation"?" Marco facepalmed.
Moon sighed. "It's the neutralization of Eclipsa. Now, here's your part of the plan." She handed a piece of parchment to Star. Marco wondered whether he could turn a profit by selling Earth paper to the Mewmen.
Star frowned. "Force the main gate, denounce Eclipsa's treason, and secure the castle? Mom, Marco has dimensional scissors. I have the all-seeing eye spell. The main gate is a killing zone. Why don't we just…"
Moon glared at her daughter. Marco hurriedly escorted Star away from the table, and grabbed the parchment. "Star. This isn't the whole plan. Listen to your mother."
Moon waved the duo back to the table. "…speed and surprise are essential to the execution of the main phase of the plan. Under the cover of General Loveberry's discreet cordon around the castle, my daughter will personally lead a column into the castle's most obvious and well-guarded point of entry."
Marco took a deep breath as the convoy approached the castle gates, taking comfort in the heft of his pair of dimensional scissors. Another column of horseless carriages – undecorated covered wooden wagons – joined the convoy just ahead of the moat.
The combined convoy made it through the potential killing fields of the castle gates unopposed, and stopped in front of a sally-port. A pair of guardsmen marched through the archway, followed by Star, Marco and a troop of guardsmen. Marco shuddered as he carefully inspected the murder-holes on the walls and ceiling of the sally-port, and Star kept a close hand on her wand. Designed to permit the castle's defenders to attack invaders passing through the gateway, the murder-holes would be equally effective in the hands of any supporters Eclipsa might have within the castle.
They made it into the courtyard beyond, and Marco hurriedly rushed Star up the steps to the battlements. Below, dozens of burly, tattooed, fur-clad warriors - barbarian in appearance and manner - marched into the castle. Marco nodded at them. With Star's father King River among their number, the Johansen clan could be counted on for political reliability.
Having been exposed to Eclipsa, the palace guard… might not.
Ahead of them, a senior palace guardswoman exchanged passwords with another who had just arrived with Marco. He furrowed his brow as he inspected the Johansen clansmen below. "What is the meaning of this, Princess Star?"
Star smiled. "Oh! Hey Kevin! Mom just got a little nervous after that attack on me, and wanted a little more muscle watching my back. You were all busy tonight, so she invited some of Dad's family over. I'll show them around."
Star scanned the palace guardsmen. Marco followed her gaze. Star sighed. "So, O Captain. Permission to come aboard?"
The eyes of two guardsmen went wide, and a wall in the corner slid open to reveal a secret passageway.
"Narwhal Blast! Narwhal blast!" Star blasted the two guardsmen off the battlements, where they were set upon by angry Johansen clansmen.
"What on Mewni…" the senior guardswoman staggered backward.
Star addressed the courtyard. "Attention everyone! There is treachery in our midst! The evil witch Eclipsa has used secret passageways to escape her tower, and placed some of our comrades under her wicked spell! She must be found and brought to justice, and her supporters shown the error of their ways! Huzzah!"
Despite the stilted, out-of-character delivery, cheers went up from the courtyard, and echoed through the castle grounds. If Eclipsa had any organized support within the castle, they'd have heard it.
Marco drew his dimensional scissors from his pocket, certain an ambush was at hand. Star gripped her wand tighter.
At that moment, in a darkened hallway, the last of a dozen fiery interdimensional portals slammed shut… right after disgorging a score of Johansen clansmen and a half-dozen hand-picked palace guardsmen deep within the castle.
Moon continued. "My daughter's forced entry, of course, will be but a distraction. As my daughter has so astutely pointed out, we possess dimensional scissors, which we will use to deploy shock troops deep within the castle. If we're lucky, we might even catch Eclipsa napping."
The men in the courtyard scattered, and began to filter through the palace. A mixed group of guardsmen and clansmen charged into the secret passageway.
Marco turned to Star, his scissors still shaking in his hands. "Attention everyone? Seriously, Star? You could've said 'loyal subjects' or 'clansmen and guardsmen' or something along those lines."
Star gritted her teeth. "It's my first time doing this, okay? Where's Hekapoo? She was supposed to be here by now!"
Behind them, a pair of scissors tore a glowing, orange, fiery portal through space and time, and Star, Marco and a guardsman hurried through.
They emerged in Eclipsa's Rose Tower. Before them stood a pale-skinned demoness in an orange dress, a crystal-headed, snake-fisted reptile, and a timeless, formless, skull-headed entity.
The Magical High Commission was in play.
Marco noted the open secret passageway, the fur-covered warrior guarding the door, and the crystallized palace guardsmen. No Eclipsa.
Hekapoo walked over to Star, and pointed an accusing finger at the young princess. "You! I knew you were tainted the moment you walked into quarantine! First, you rip holes in spacetime all across the multiverse, and now this? Do you know how much damage she could've…"
Marco stood between the quarrelling duo. "Not now. Where's Moon?"
"Citadel. Star? Your turn" Hekapoo turned to Star, and cut another hole through space-time.
Marco gave Star a nudge, and looked pointedly at Star's wand.
"Oh, right! Step 3: use the all-seeing eye. You know, I still don't understand why we didn't start with this…"
Marco shook his head. "You can see the magic peephole. It would've tipped her off. I still don't know what the point of a spy spell is if the person under surveillance can see it."
Star summoned the All-Seeing Eye, and sighed as she examined the middle-aged woman in the night-robe and fuzzy slippers.
Eclipsa looked back at Star through the peephole, shock and fear in her eyes, as fiery portals popped into existence around her, disgorging the Magical High Commission.
Star expressionlessly closed the peephole.
"Victory."
It certainly didn't feel like one.