Beta: natural-blues ;)
Day Three: Always and Forever, Your Doctor
The Doctor woke hours before her, so he had the opportunity to enjoy holding Rose Tyler.
After jolting himself out of a stupid dream in which the TARDIS's roof collapsed on him and Rose refused to dig him out, the Doctor realised the pressure on his chest was actually Rose asleep on top of him. He spent the first minute blushing a furious red — she was spooning him, for Rassilon's sake — and then the next smiling caringly when she tightened her grip on him. It'd been ages since he'd slept two nights in a row; usually he only needed a couple hours of sleep every few days. Then he frowned— Rose had to work today. He craned his neck to get a glimpse of the clock above the fridge, which read two in the morning. Hopefully she wouldn't have to leave until at least seven o'clock. He was going to be positively bored for Rassilon knows how many hours.
He almost jumped when she whimpered against him. The Doctor glanced down to her face, only to see it was contorted with pain, fear or distress— he reached a hand up to stroke her head, only to freeze when what was clearly a tear slipped over her cheek and disappeared into her hair. Whatever she was dreaming, it wasn't good. His hearts clenched as he swept away the tear only to have two more spill down in its place.
He could easily slip into her mind and replace whatever dream she was having. But that would require him seeing whatever she was dreaming, and he was pretty certain Rose would not approve. So instead the Doctor gathered her up into his arms and rocked her gently, running a hand through her hair and humming the Gallifreyan lullaby back to her. Rose sniffled but quietened, burrowing her face into his neck. The Doctor stopped humming and huffed out a sigh. Poor Rose. He couldn't help but think that had she never met him, she wouldn't be in the position of having lost everyone.
He simply enjoyed holding her for a few more hours, before six o'clock chimed and Rose was starting to show signs of waking up. Gently the Doctor lifted her off of him and placed a pillow underneath her head, before jumping up and smiling. He could do at least one thing for her…
Rose woke at ten to seven with a stick of celery next to her face. She frowned at it before blinking sleep out of her eyes and sitting up, only to have the Doctor's jacket slide off of her shoulders. She blushed a bit when she remembered the two of them falling asleep on top of each other. Where was the Doctor, anyway?
Rose hugged his jacket to her tighter and raised herself up off the couch, immediately spotting him in the kitchen with his back to her, bouncing in front of the stove. When she giggled, he turned around and positively beamed at her. "Morning, Rose Tyler!"
"Mornin', Doctor," Rose grinned, tongue in teeth, and she ignored the swoop in her stomach when his eyes locked on her tongue. "What're you doin'?"
"Breakfast!" he chirped. "You, Rose, are far too thin, which leads me to believe you skip breakfast often," he added, giving her a pointed stare as she looked sheepish. Handing her a plate of bacon and eggs, he continued, "And no, it did not turn black, I'll have you know."
"Ta," Rose grinned, giving him a happy hug before grabbing her plate and plopping onto the chair at the kitchen island. "I can't get out until five 'cos I took time off the day before, so you'll have to entertain yourself 'till then."
He didn't bother to hide the pout the reminder brought on. "I'll visit the TARDIS again, see if she's done being a child."
"She's not gonna let you in 'till you figure out what you've done," Rose said knowingly, popping bacon into her mouth. "You should probably keep asking her what it is. Maybe she'll give in."
"I shall try that," he decided. He fell silent for a moment, staring at his bacon as though expecting it to jump up and dance. Then she froze when he asked, "Would you like to return to the original universe?"
She dropped her bacon back onto her plate and gave him a confused glance, but he looked dead serious. Ducking her head, Rose mumbled, "What would I do there?"
The Doctor also dropped his head, avoiding her gaze. "Find future me."
Her head snapped up to stare at him, and his eyes slowly rose to meet her gaze. There was earnestness in his eyes, but also something Rose recognised as a mixture of fear and hope. Her heart stuffed itself into her throat— it was the exact same look the Doctor had given her several times, like when her first Doctor had taken her to the end of the world and nearly gotten her killed, and just after he regenerated on Christmas.
Biting her lip, she gave him a sympathetic look. "I know a bit of what happens to you after you leave me with John." Her shoulders slumped. "You move on. Me showing up again'd just bring up old wounds."
A flicker of hurt passed over his face, but he looked determined. "Rose Tyler. If future me knew exactly what you were going through here, he'd be asking the same thing. I know— I'm him," he added with an eyebrow waggle so similar to her husband.
Against her better judgement she felt a smile crack over her face, which only grew when he smiled in response. Unsure whether or not she was lying she said, "I'll think about it, yeah?"
As much as she wanted to return to the Doctor, she didn't want to simultaneously hurt him and cause trouble between him and River Song. Although she couldn't exactly tell this Doctor that the reason she didn't want to return to him was because he'd fall in love with her, lose her, meet his future wife, get cloned and be forced to leave her behind to fix his clone on the same beach they said goodbye on.
They talked over their breakfast for an extra half hour before Rose swanned off to change and do her makeup, and he slipped his jacket back on and revelled in her scent clinging to the fabric. She re-emerged dressed in a tight white blouse and skirt (and no, he did not gape like an idiot) and gave him a tight five-minute hug before leaving in a black company car.
It took precisely four hours for the Doctor to grow bored. He entertained himself for the first half of what he called his 'Rose-less time' by reading all three of Charles Dickens' books, and all of the books in the bookcase after that including what were probably Rose's brother Tony's old baby books, and then setting out into London to confront his TARDIS again. He once again failed trying to engage a fellow Tube rider in conversation, and that was the only moment he was grateful Rose wasn't there, because he only had one more tenner in his pocket.
When he reached the TARDIS, he spent the next hour begging the TARDIS to let him back in, asking her what the hell he'd done and trying to bribe her with the prospect of taking Rose travelling with them. He was certain that last one would break her resolve, since they both seemed so fond of each other, but the TARDIS refused to open her doors even for that. The Doctor slunk back to the mansion and spent a full hour scowling.
He was completely and utterly bored by one o'clock, so he grabbed a fruit for lunch and decided to explore the mansion. The Doctor poked his way through the whole manor, finding nothing remotely fascinating besides a Venusian hairdryer and a bigger-on-the-inside suitcase. Upon stumbling on what was most likely Rose's parents' room, he promptly ran away and spent another ten minutes hoping Rose never found out. Eventually the only places left to explore were his room, which he'd already explored the first night he was there, and her room, and as much as his polite side was refusing, his curiosity was stuffing his polite side into a trunk and mailing it to Timbuktu. Praying Rose would never find out, the Doctor sidled into her room.
It was practical and just a little messy (he tried to avoid looking at the pair of knickers in the corner) and he didn't look through her clothing drawer (he had some dignity left). Just as he was about to leave, his foot caught on something sticking out from under the bed and he went crashing to the floor.
Rubbing his paining elbow, the Doctor hoisted himself up before investigating whatever he'd just tripped over. It was an oak chest that had most likely never been opened, as the hinges had almost fully rusted, and on the top of it was a plaque inscribed 'Johnathan Noble'. Rose's dead husband. Lifting it up and sitting on the bed, the Doctor flipped open the chest. There was a jumbled assortment of random things— an elastic-wrapped bundle of photos, a gold wedding ring, a sealed envelope with Rose's name on it—
— and what was definitely a sonic screwdriver.
The Doctor snatched it out of the box and stared at it, hearts thudding against his chest. Why would Rose have a future version of his old sonic screwdriver in a chest under her bed? Setting the sonic down, the Doctor snatched up the photos and unwrapped the elastic. There were around five of a shorter-haired Rose and a big-eared, leather-clad man grinning at each other like idiots, occasionally with a black man or another bloke who seemed to be eye-shagging the camera in every shot. The next twenty or so were of the same pinstriped-suited bloke giving Rose soppy looks, including the same photograph the Doctor had seen earlier in the photo album. Once again the Doctor was hit by a wave of familiarity.
He hesitated over the envelope, but curiosity got the better of him again and he flicked off the seal. Pulling out the folded parchment, the Doctor took out his brainy specs and scanned it over.
My Rose,
Right now, it's our tenth anniversary and you're asleep, and even though it's been ten years since we got married, you haven't aged a day. So if you're ever reading this, it's because Bad Wolf changed your physiology and you're not ageing, which means you've outlived me and I've died. If that's what happened, then my last request is for you to leave this universe, Rose. Leave it behind and find the Time Lord version of me in the original universe. Even though he'll have married River Song, you have to go back to him— and don't doubt for a second that he wouldn't want you back, Rose Tyler. I'm him and he's me.
Like I said, I don't know whether or not he'll actually be in love with River or not, but I know that he's never going to stop loving you, Rose. When I'm gone, go back and find him. And don't be sad. You've made me so happy.
Always and forever,
Your Doctor.
The letter slipped through his shaking fingers and fluttered onto the bed. He started into the distance, not really seeing anything. Everything was crashing into place like a maelstrom— why Rose had declined to return to him despite clearly liking his presence, why she refused to talk about her husband, even why she'd paused before touching him in the TARDIS console room and hesitated before giving him her husband's clothing.
At once, repressed memories flooded into his mind, making him gasp as he remembered precisely where he'd seen the suited man before— when he'd been transported into the future TARDIS and met his future self. The difference between the future him in the pictures and the one he'd met (besides the blue suit) was the look of loneliness and loss in the eyes of the one he'd encountered.
He really did need Rose Tyler.
With hands trembling violently, the Doctor stuffed everything back into the box, not bothering to try and cover up his presence. His finger brushed against something cold and metal; he closed his fingers around it and pulled it out. It was the gold ring he'd seen before. There was something inscribed on the outer rim, and when he read what it was, it merely confirmed everything.
He was her husband. Or he would be. Or, one of him would be.
Always and forever,
Your Doctor.
Rose returned at five thirty with a box of chips for the both of them, only to find him hunched over on the couch, staring hard at the rug with a hand over his mouth. It was what she used to call his 'bothered face', the one he used to make when he was upset. Since he didn't seem to notice her presence, Rose put the box on the counter and circled the couch, sitting next to him and placing a hand on his arm.
He jumped a bit, looking panicked, and now it was her turn to be shocked when he put nearly a foot of distance between them. "Er, hello Rose! You're back!"
"Yeah, I brought chips," Rose said, frowning at his sudden nervousness. "Doctor, are you all right?"
He smiled a little too brightly for her tastes. "Fine, Rose."
"I don't believe you," she said pointedly, but it was punctuated with her tongue-in-teeth grin that had him relaxing against his will, "but I'm not gonna pry." And for that, he was immensely grateful. "Did the TARDIS tell you why she won't let you leave?"
"Er, no," the Doctor said, cringing. She didn't have to tell him— he knew now what his 'lesson to be learned' was. And he'd just learnt it.
"We'll figure it out," Rose assured him, making an involuntary smile come to his face. "Wanna watch another film while we eat?"
"Yes," he said, because that gave him an excuse to think without being rude.
Rose popped in a nameless film that the Doctor paid no attention to whatsoever, using the chips as an excuse to not sit as near to her as before (oh who was he kidding? That had been full-out snuggling) and trying to ignore the subtle sideways glances of worry Rose would send him every half hour or so. He hated that he was worrying her, but what he'd seen on the ring and in the letter frightened him more than Daleks did, and that was saying something.
Near the end of the film, Rose's mobile rang, making him jump. Giving him another concerned glance, Rose pulled her mobile out of her bra (what the sodden hell?) and flicked it open. "'Lo?" A pause. "Oh, hi Cecilia. What's up?" Her face fell into horror. "What?" Another horrified pause. "I'll be there in twenty minutes." The Doctor was stunned when she flicked her phone shut and turned to him with pure terror in her eyes. "Tony's in the hospital."
"Your brother?" he said, pushing away his own problems and reaching over to grab her hand. She nodded, and he hesitated. "Do you… want me to come with you?"
She ducked her head into her lap and nodded again. He couldn't help the affectionate smile and drew her into a hug, hearts faltering when she hugged him back and buried her face into his neck. They stayed completely silent as Rose put her coat back on and hugged his arm the whole while they walked to and rode on the Tube. He found himself praying that this Tony bloke wouldn't die like everybody else had in Rose's life— Rose was already in pain; she didn't need to lose her brother early as well.
Always and forever,
Your Doctor.
When they entered the hospital holding hands, a nurse led them to the third floor where a lined-faced woman with grey-blonde hair was sitting in a chair next to a wrinkled man on a hospital bed. They both looked up when Rose entered the room. The Doctor quickly let go of her hand and stepped back as Rose approached her brother.
"Hello," said Tony, smiling.
Rose smiled back. "Hello." She glanced between him and Cecilia, who looked just as calm as Tony. "What was wrong?"
"They think it's just pneumonia," Tony said idly, waving her hand. "I'll have to stay overnight, the doctors said, but I'll probably be fine." The Doctor saw Rose visibly deflate with relief, and his hearts pained for her again. Tony pointed to a chair in the corner. "Stay for a bit."
"You should be resting," said Cecilia sternly.
"If the doctors said—" Rose started to say.
"Fine, fine," Tony interrupted on a false grumble. "You'll probably have to get home and take your seven o'clock nap," he added, smirking.
Rose swatted him on the arm. "Respect your elders, Mister."
The three of them shared a laugh at that, but it only worsened the Doctor's mood. Placing a hand on her shoulder and giving it a squeeze, he murmured in Rose's ear, "Stay with your brother. I'll return to the mansion."
"Are you sure?" Rose said, turning fully to him.
Well aware that Tony and Cecilia were watching him suspiciously, he nodded. Rose hugged him tightly, which he returned before turning his back on them all and leaving the hospital.
He all but slunk onto the Tube, plopping down onto the dirty seat and leaving the odd looks people were giving his celery stalk unnoticed. His hearts felt like somebody had put them in a grinder. Accidentally bumping into three people and not apologising, the Doctor left the Tube and returned to the mansion, first sinking down into his previous sanctuary on the couch, burying his face in his hands.
The Doctor hadn't realised the extent of the damaged he'd done, or would do, to her life. The look on her face when she'd answered that phone call was not one of familial worry, but of sheer terror. He'd wanted to gather her up in his arms and never let go, he wanted to sob out apologies until she forgave him, but most of all he wanted to swoop down and kiss the fear away.
Always and forever,
Your Doctor.
In Rassilon knows how long, he would be split into two people, one of whom would be happy with Rose but wither and die and make her watch the whole of it; the other would be forced to let her go, knowing that one day he'd marry a woman named River Song, not knowing if he'd ever love the bloody woman. Rose had lied to him— she hadn't 'met' Johnathan Noble in this universe. Something had happened and Johnathan Noble was created. The Doctor understood now why his Time Lord self had left Rose and John in this universe, besides her family having already settled here.
Anything closer would hurt like hell.
The discovery of his human self's letter, and the inscription on what was in all probability his wedding ring, made the Doctor's resolve harden— no matter what, he had to get her back to future him. The Doctor had asked her to return with him at first because he couldn't stand to see her so alone, but now he knew that future him would need her. There was no doubt in his mind now that he would fall in love with her, and the Doctor didn't give a flying fuck if future him was married to some woman named River Song— hell, he didn't even care if they had three children and a house with a picket fence. One day he'd remember everything that had transpired in the past three days, and he would be reminded of just how much pain he'd caused her.
Hell, he hadn't even done anything yet and it still hurt like hell.
Limbs feeling heavy as lead, the Doctor slowly rose from the couch and dragged himself down the hall, suddenly feeling exhausted. His initial intent was to return to his room, curl up under the sheets and sleep so he wouldn't have to think anymore, but when he reached his door, he decided against it and instead continued to the next room. Heading sluggishly into Rose's bedroom, the Doctor collapsed onto the bed and curled up into her sheets, falling asleep in a Rose-scented cocoon.
Always and forever,
Your Doctor.
After the first two hours of chatting, Cecilia fell asleep in the chair in the corner of the room, so Rose and Tony had to speak in hushed voices. It felt like a douse of cold water on her when Tony sat up and asked, "Who was that bloke, the one who looked a bit like a cricketer?" When Rose hesitated, he added a bit sadly, "That was the Doctor, wasn't it?"
Rose's head snapped up and her mouth fell open. "How did you—?"
"Only the Doctor would wear a stick of celery on his jacket," chuckled Tony, before his eyebrows arched upwards in sadness. "Is this the Time Lord version?"
Rose nodded, slumping in her seat and allowing herself to look upset for the first time in three days. "Not just that, Tony. This is a version of the Doctor… who hasn't met us yet."
Tony frowned. "What?"
"This is his fifth body, he said," Rose mumbled quietly. "The Doctors I knew were the ninth and tenth incarnations. He told me after we got married. I don't even think this Doctor's anywhere near the Time War yet."
Tony gripped her hand tightly. "When did he show up?"
"Three days ago," Rose said.
Tony's frown deepened and he asked, "On the anniversary of the Doctor's death?" When Rose nodded forlornly, Tony whistled. "Blimey, the bloke has always had fantastic timing, but that takes the biscuit."
"It was the TARDIS, Tony," she explained.
"His ship that looks like a police box?"
"Yeah. Apparently, the Doctor was just sayin' goodbye to his friend when she just up and piloted herself here. Was on my way back from… their graves when suddenly I see her materialising straight in front of me." She chuckled, wiping moisture from her eyes with her free hand. "She ended up locking him out. S'been stayin' with me ever since."
"An' you managed to make him fall in love with you again in three days?" Tony said curiously. "How the sodden hell'd you managed that?"
"Tony, it's been three days since he's met me— the Doctor's not in love with me," Rose sighed, suddenly feeling nineteen again.
"Sorry, Rosie, but I saw his face when he hugged you," Tony said, patting her hand. "You've charmed this vegetable-Doctor just like you did the suit Doctor. And the leather one too. And he was holding your hand."
"You sound just like Mum an' Mickey did back when I was nineteen and a shop girl," Rose muttered. "The Doctor's always been a hand-holder, Tony."
"So then, he's always looked like he wants to snog you into the ground too?" he said inquisitively, ignoring her glare. He cocked his head to the side. "'M sorry Rose. This has gotta be hell for you."
Rose shrugged. "Not really. You can't be miserable with the Doctor around."
Tony bit his lip. "You're in love with him."
"It's the Doctor, Tony," Rose sighed, playing with her wedding ring. "I can't not be in love with him."
Tony looked at her sympathetically before coughing for a brief minute. Rose rubbed his hospital gown-covered back until he stopped and lay back down. They spent a few minutes in a heavy silence before Rose added quietly, "He asked me to come back with him to the other universe."
"But he's a past version of the Doctor," Tony frowned. "Isn't that paradoxical or something?"
"Not to travel with him," Rose elaborated, "to bring me back to the future him."
Her brother sat up a bit straighter. "What did you say?"
"I said no, at first," Rose mumbled, staring at her knees. "He just looked so… hurt when I refused. I said I'd think about it."
"You've already decided not to, though, haven't you?"
"What would I do there, Tony?" Rose demanded, clenching her hand into a fist. "The Doctor married a woman called River Song after he left me here. The Doctor I have waiting at the mansion doesn't know that— and can't," she added with a stern look in Tony's direction. "He wants to bring me back to future him and he has no idea that he'll have moved on from me and probably fallen in love with another woman."
"You don't know he's in love with her," Tony rationalised.
She sent him a glare. "Tony, he married her. She knew his real name. He did the same to me after we got married— it's a Gallifreyan custom."
"The Doctor once told me that arranged marriage is also a Gallifreyan custom," Tony pointed out a bit smugly. "Besides, didn't he also marry the other universe's Queen Elizabeth I?"
Rose couldn't help but chuckle at that, remembering the moments when her human Doctor used to rant fondly about all the times Queen Elizabeth tried to have him executed and he had no idea why besides his being married to her. "True."
"The Doctor always told me how happy you made him, Rose," Tony added gently, prompting tears to well up in her eyes and spill down her cheeks. "In all probability, the Doctor's out there, in the other universe, and missing you just as much." Tony sat back on his pillows. "If he can fall in love with you in three days and already want you for himself in the future, he couldn't possibly let go of you that easily."
Rose opened and closed her mouth a few times, unsure how to respond to that. Wiping her eyes, she settled for, "Get some sleep, or Cecilia'll kill me. 'Kay, old man?"
Tony, who'd been frowning disapprovingly at her deflection, chuckled. "Yes ma'am."
Rose curled up in the chair adjacent to Cecilia and watched her brother fall asleep, for a moment seeing her Doctor drifting off into slumber and never waking up again. She hoped that wherever the future Doctor was now, he'd be happy to see her.
She was going home.
A/N: Ta-da :D Chapter three! To those of you who had been waiting to find out whether Five had met Rose's husband or just the Time Lord version... there ya are :p It's the Time Lord version from 'Time Crash'. Updates for this will be relatively close (closer than usual, anyway) 'cos I may or may not have finished this story ^^' welp, that's what happens when writer's block takes a vacation for once. Special thank-yous go out to JA Ingram, Genesis Chi, Greek-Whovian, Bercelak, Kylaia78, bananas-are-good-9, jenn008, wishbones, DeepBlue-sama (damn right I did :D) hotsasukefan, TardisBlueismynewfavoritecolor (brilliant username) natural-blues of course, and a Guest :) Stay tuned for chapter four!
EDIT: Super special thanks to Arvi on AO3 for pointing out an egregious and totally embarrassing error, which I've corrected so none of you can laugh at me (and no, you can't know what it was).