NOTICE: Before reading this story, if anyone has a problem with my "racism," pause and rewind. If you find anything racist in this story or any story of mine, please- point it out so I can make you look like a douche-nugget. There's no such thing as race and flames will warrant a roundhouse to the face.
Grand Daddy
The fight against Lord of the Dead was arduous but not impossible. Sigma pulled his spear out from the fiend's mare, looking at the powdery stain embedded on his weapon. Looking at the MVP dissipate, he keeps a face of indifference. He was soon joined by Ibuki and Faust, the former cracking his knuckles while the latter rotates his shoulders. The trio looked back at the guild, Bit sprawled on the ground seemingly incapacitated from the battle while the rest appeared to be beaten half to death. Ibuki and Sigma fist bumped while Faust began to clean his dagger. After a brief minute or two, Asaka approached the three with bottles. It didn't take them long to gulp down the bottles and soon after, they felt rejuvenated. Asaka looked to the rest of the guild, noticing more than half of them on the brink of death but no fatalities.
"Like I said, you'll find him when you need him, no?" Asaka gave the Monk and the Lord Knight a grin that spelled mischief.
"You and your riddles, Asaka. When is it ever going to end?" Ibuki jokingly asked.
"Something tells me I was the subject of discussion before I crashed the party," Faust guessed.
"And crashed the building but yes. Good one," Sigma smirked. Looking at the Blacksmith making repairs yet again, he shook his head as he went back to the bar.
"You're getting old, Sig," Ibuki said randomly.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Sigma turned to see Ibuki giving him a smug look.
"It means you're going to be the guild's grandpops," the Monk replied, folding his arms.
"And it means your balls are going to sag," Faust added, scoffing at the Lord Knight's expense.
"Yeah? But this old fart will teach you two baby cacti a thing or two," Sigma declared, promising an ass whooping later on. The two merely laughed as they decided to join Sigma at the bar.
"Technically speaking, it should be Ibuki who's meant to be the ancient master of fighting, but alas... he has yet to transcend," Asaka commented.
"What's that supposed to mean!" Ibuki demanded while Sigma and Faust laughed.
"It means you're an amateur," she replied as plainly as she could, not bothering to change her expression of indifference which added to the hilarity. It even made the Monk laugh.
"You know, I kind of feel sorry for the Black Guy. He's the only one who actually makes the installations to this facility," Faust said as he nodded over to the Blacksmith hammering away. Luckily for him, the Bongun and Isis were actually lending assistance.
"You don't gotta' feel sorry if he gets paid," Sigma assured the Rogue. Faust pondered to himself for a bit before shrugging.
"What happened..." Bit stirred as he got up, holding his head with his right hand as his left held the ground. He felt like he was going to puke.
"Welcome back to the real world, sleeping beauty," Sigma chided.
"Did we win?" Bit asked.
"Oh yeah, we won. He even gave us a card," Faust held up the MVP's card. That caught the rest of the guild's attention. "And I delivered the killing blow, so it's mine!"
"No, it's mine!" Ibuki swiped the card from Faust's grip.
"I'm actually advanced, it belongs to ME!" Sigma grabbed it from Ibuki.
The Monk and the Rogue looked at the Lord Knight as he gave the two a cocky grin. Faust and Ibuki looked at one another, silently agreeing to a temporary alliance but before any fighting can ensue, Asaka grabbed the card and placed it in a box. The three looked on as she placed the box in a safe where more of their rewards were stashed, locking the safe after doing so. Afterwards, she drops the keys into her blouse where nobody with the right sense of decency would try to take from her. That and she was well-respected amongst the guild. Hell, not even Thanatos would bother trying to thieve it from her and Thanatos avoiding eye contact would back up that claim.
"It belongs to the guild." Asaka smiled, forcing the three to submit.
"I suffered broken bones for that one..." Faust slumped, feeling his femur slightly fractured from the onslaught. Asaka glared at him, and he swore he saw fire in her eyes. The guild probably felt it, too, so they all avoided eye contact. "But I don't mind donating to the guild!"
"Better." Asaka hummed to herself merrily as she went to her room. The three sighed in defeat.
"Gotta' admit, without her around, there wouldn't be balance," Sigma said thoughtfully.
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean!" Ara whined.
"Shut up, we're not talking about you," Ibuki replied. Ara was about to say something but kept the comment to herself.
"The old man means she brings a certain balance to the group. Without her, we'd be fighting over the card and any asshole who has more energy left will swipe it. Then drama will happen and the guild will break apart," Faust detailed to clear up any confusion.
"Oh. I guess that makes sense," Ara pondered.
Sigma looked on as the guild managed to get back up. Recollecting all of the memories stored in him, he remembers how it started. It was him, Ibuki and Asaka at first, with the Black Guy following shortly after. Then Faust joined the traveling group before they met everyone else. But thinking back on those days, it was just the three of them; Asaka, Ibuki and Sigma. The oldest friendship within the group. He remembered how he and Ibuki were competitive in about everything they did, and how Asaka just minded her business. During harsh times, she didn't revel in the thought of it. When everyone else was down, she had the right aura to bring the group back to life. Sure, the Crusader had the enthusiasm and was vocal when the guild needed their morals boosted... sure, Ibuki didn't understand the meaning of the word defeat... and sure, Faust didn't give a damn about anything period. But the difference between them and Asaka was that Asaka actually showed it. That was the balance she brought to the group- her silent wisdom.
A loud crash was heard, and Sigma turned to his left where he noticed Wizzy and Zetsu were bickering amongst themselves. One of the chandeliers fell near Shou and Ness, and soon it would be a two-on-two battle. It never progressed the moment the Priestess entered the room, however. Sigma hopped over to the bar, grabbing a few mugs and began filling it with purple liquid. Faust and Ibuki saw what he was up to and decided to join him, followed by Asaka. Ara noticed Bit whining after Pierciel pressed on his wounds with a gigantic ice pack and found the moment funny. Dhaos was staring at Wizzy's behind hungrily as he began making suspicious and not to mention lewd movements with his hand in his pants.
"Give or take... a few more months and we'll move from this shit-hole into a castle," Ibuki said, breaking the silence.
"What makes you say months? You and I are more capable field commanders, and Faust is the closest to us. Shou and Asaka are mainly support roles, then the rest are still adjusting," Sigma commented.
"Not to mimic Bit or anything, but I don't doubt our progress." Ibuki took a swig from his mug. "Give me more, you walking tin can!"
"Shut up, you brainless tic-tac!" Sigma spat back.
"Come here and I'll freshen your breath!" Ibuki invited. Both of them grinned at each other. They were competitive, all right.
"Elaborate," Asaka commented. That was enough for the boys to cease fire.
"Well," Sigma cleared his throat. "With the way, I look at things, we'd lose before we even got into the castle grounds. We have more chances of survival than anyone."
"I meant the both of you," Asaka commanded.
"All I gotta' say is I won't give up on the guild," Ibuki offered. There was not much to explain.
"Well, then. I'm not the only one who brings balance to the group, aren't I?" Asaka smirked. That caught them off-guard.
"... owned. You got owned. Both of you," Faust pointed out, laughing at the two of them.
"They aren't the only ones who bring a balance, Faust," Asaka remarked, immediately stopping the Rogue in his tracks. Faust looked at the Priestess before looking at the Monk and the Lord Knight, both of whom returned his gaze. "Everyone plays a little role here, and Sigma just pointed out you were the closest to serving as a tertiary leader because you make yourself be heard. He doesn't doubt our capabilities but he wants us to be ready. Ibuki doesn't seem to be bothered at our rate of success or failure, however you want to look at things. As for you? I think you're an in between. You want to be ready for battle yet you don't necessarily seem to mind others' faults, no? Maybe you're more versatile than you led yourself to believe and you could be more of a balance yourself." Asaka took a sip from her flask politely while the Rogue stared at her with a blank expression, mostly in awe at her sense of wit. Ibuki and Sigma looked at one another before observing the conversation more carefully.
"Well... uuuhhh..." Faust began but thought against it.
"Hrm? Your own cleverness being rivaled?" Asaka gave Faust a playful look.
"Well, shit. You're right but you know..." Faust leaned his cheek on his fist as he stared at his beverage, Asaka giggling at the man as Ibuki and Sigma gave each other low-fives.
"I didn't mean to point out my observation, but it's still common sense. You said yourself common sense is key, no?" Asaka replied with a rhetoric. Checkmate, and the Rogue is out. Faust's eyes widen, slightly shocked but all of them found the situation humorous.
"Did I just get..." Faust said but was interrupted with Sigma and Ibuki leaning towards the Rogue, smiling at his expense.
"... OWNED!" Sigma and Ibuki shouted simultaneously at the Rogue. Faust grimaced at the two but she was right. Sigma got up, heading out to the door.
"Where you going, old man?" Ibuki asked, looking at the Lord Knight. Sigma stopped but didn't turn around.
"Heading out for some fresh air." Sigma left the premises, though the only ones who seemed to pay attention were the trio.
"Like I said," Asaka began. Ibuki and Faust looked at the Priestess, paying close attention to her words as Ara and Sardine joined the two. "Everyone has a bit of a balance here. There is no I in the word TEAM. But all of you already know that."
"Agreed," Faust noted, holding his flask of grape juice up. "Everyone has a specialty."
"Yeah, take a look at Wizzy." Ibuki pointed to the Wizard just standing idly by like a zombie, noticing how blank his face looked and a bit of drool coming out from his mouth.
"DUUURRRHHHPPP," Wizzy cried out. Faust and Ibuki looked at him for a brief moment before laughing hysterically.
Outside of the guild...
Sigma began making observations as he leaned against the wall of the guild's building. His arms folded, his eyes began scanning the area as he contemplated. He can hear laughter inside the building, and it was comforting to know how cordial every member has become. Why was he outside by himself? There are days when warriors needed time to think for themselves, to make preparations for their next move, regardless of what it is. It's the law of the battlefield. Only reckless sovereigns risk their soldiers during war just to win. But a commander knows better. Anyone would enough common sense would try to avoid casualties as much as he can. He learned that a long time ago, and the closest "new" face to emphasize that rule was Faust but that could've just been from Faust's career choice. He wasn't meant to fight front-lines so the Rogue was calculating. He also understood the necessity for power. Without strength, you cannot protect anything. Ibuki emphasized that, especially of the constant tribulations the two of them went through. Sigma felt something flickering in the distance so he chose to look up. Everything was by choice and despite how advanced he was, he decided to stick with the guild field with rookies. The atmosphere was positive so why let go of something good when you got it? In the distance were two teenagers, probably aspiring to become Swordsmen themselves as he saw them sparring with one another. Each of them held wooden sticks. Humored a little, he decided to approach the two, taking only a couple of minutes to reach his destination.
"Hey," Sigma called out. Both boys looked up, exalted by his appearance.
"A Lord Knight!" one of them cried. They seemed to be excited.
"You're Sigma!" the other one said.
"Yes, I am." Sigma stood proudly, not entirely astonished that he was recognized but pleased he has marvelous reputation amongst the continent.
He trained with the two boys for a few minutes, giving them tips and pointers on how to fight properly and common tactics for survival. That's why Sigma was the virtuoso to Ibuki. Both of them had comparable knowledge about Rune-Midgard, and while both were adept, Sigma knew how to keep Ibuki in check. Despite the age difference, it was Sigma's indifference to the conventional that made him respected. Faust may be an unconventional fighter, but Sigma was an unconventional person in general. One moment Sigma is here, the next he could be off venturing alone for the guild, whether he needs to advise the members or not about anything in particular. This was why he was a reason he was referred to as the "Grand Daddy Cacktus."
After a brief moment, Sigma went back to the guild building but not before giving his farewell to the youth. When they disappeared from his line of sight, Sigma was about to open the door but it opened for him, slamming him in between the walls and the door. Out came Asaka, Faust and Ibuki. The three of them looked around but didn't see any signs of the Lord Knight.
"Didn't Sigma say he was stepping out for a breath of fresh air?" Ibuki commented.
"Fresh air? I thought he said fresh ass," Faust joked.
"Either way, he isn't here. I guess we can just wait until he takes too long. Then we can look for him," Asaka suggested. Ibuki and Faust shrugged, closing the door as Sigma began to slide down the wall.
"... These... God damn... brats..." Sigma began but once again, the door opened, returning him to his sandwiched position, this time by Ara.
"You sure he's not out here?" Ara called out.
"If we didn't see him, what makes you think YOU would?" Ibuki replied.
"Okay!" Ara closed the door, letting Sigma slide to the floor again.
"I swear to everything holy in Odin's ass!" Sigma cried out. A second letter, the door slammed him to the wall for a third time.
"Did you hear something?" Sardine asked no one in particular.
"You could be hearing things. It must be post-traumatic stress disorder from all of the fights we've gone through and..." Shou began.
"Thought I heard Sigma," Sardine concluded, ignoring the Priest. She closed the door as the poor Lord Knight began swaying dizzily.
"Please... have mercy..." Sigma begged as he tried regaining composure. Unfortunately, the entire pantheon seemed to ignore his plea as the door opened up for the fourth time.
"All right, we're off to the market!" Ness called out. Shou was right behind her, the two of them tasked with getting food for the guild.
"Make sure you balance the cheque!" Faust called out, his hands cupped together as a make-shift megaphone. Ibuki crossed his arms as he watched the two about to bicker, Ara leaning forwards with her hands on her hips as she glared at Ness as Bit pulled his eyelid down, a tongue shown at the kunoichi but the Zealotus thought it was aimed at her.
"We got it!" Shou replied, giving a re-assuring thumbs-up.
"I know YOU got it, but I'm talking about her!" Faust replied, narrowing his eyes at the kunoichi. Evidently, he still remembers the time she spent all of their zeny on a helm she managed to break when it was supposed to be for supplies. Shou chuckled as Ness fumed.
"Shut up, Faust, you jerk!" Ness began stomping away to the market as Shou laced his fingers behind his head, accompanying the rookie Ninja to make sure the money wasn't spent on useless crap.
"That's CHIEF JERK to you!" Faust responded as he slammed the door shut. He wanted the last words. By this time, Sigma's face was way too comically distorted. He even had stars circling his head.
"Hi, Mr. President! I like... banana lumpia... egg rolls..." Sigma nearly fell face flat on the ground but as fate conspired against him, the door slammed him back to the wall.
"Au revoir! Going to sell at Prontera now!" Sardine waved with her cart and her Rocker in tow.
"Be careful out there!" Faust called out.
"Oui, papa." Sardine rolled her eyes at the senior member.
"And don't talk to strangers!" Pierciel added.
"And watch out for creepy, old men!" Ibuki included as well, a sarcastic look of concern worn on his face.
"Yes, yes! I'll be fine!" Sardine began trotting her way to Prontera.
"And make sure to look at both sides of the road!" Faust added before Asaka closed the door shut.
"Blah-blah... blah... blah... eeehhh..." Sigma fell to the ground. A few minutes afterwards, he got up, dusting himself off as he re-adjusted his armour. "Fuck you, guys..." Sigma gave the finger to the door and the wall.
"All right, guys, we're heading off!" Ibuki called out as the door opened but Sigma managed to dodge that one. Right besides him were Faust and Asaka, the trio in pursuit of an event mob hunt. They spotted Sigma and it looked like he was going to hurl. As if irony was miraculously pressed upon him, he had a wooden cane in hand so yes, he did look like an old man.
"Never thought I'd actually see this day come." Faust quirked a 'brow as Asaka held back her laughter. Ibuki didn't bother holding it in, though, and he even started slapping his knee at the sight of Sigma.
"Shut up," Sigma demanded, making it seem like it he was personally insulted but he wasn't. "Where are you guys off to, anyway?"
"MVP hunt. Eddga," Faust answered, standing leisurely with one fist on his hip. Asaka nodded in agreement with a smile as she held her hands like most Priestess normally do while Ibuki continuously laughed at Sigma.
"We could use an extra blade," Asaka suggested.
"Yeah, gramps. Join us!" Ibuki welcomed Sigma, wiping some tears from his eyes.
"Yeah, yeah. Let me get my spears." Sigma turned around to the building but was stopped by Faust.
"Or you can use that cane." Faust began snickering, making it seem like he was trying to avoid being obvious about it but having less effort in doing so. That set off a chain reaction and the three started laughing before jogging away. Sigma felt a vein popping on his temple, his eyes darken with comical rage as thunder and lightning filled the atmosphere, metaphorically and literally.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Sigma screamed loud enough for the Valkyries to hear as the earth trembled, several mirrors cracking but it was stopped as Bit came crashing through the door. He was flung by the Zealotus, and once again, Sigma was smashed to the dirt from the door with Bit's weight crushing him.
"What did I do?!" Bit cried out as the Zealotus stood in front of him, her eyes filled with daggers befalling upon the poor Crusader as she grit her teeth in anger, her hand gripping her whip. The rest of the guild looked on as what appears to be a misunderstanding is taken place.
"Shouldn't you help him?" Ara asked Pierciel. She thought about it, but shook her head.
"Naaahhh." Pierciel began sipping from a juice box as Ara fed her Lunatic, the rest of the guild resuming their previous activities while the Zealotus repeatedly beat on Bit, putting more pressure on Sigma as the Alice began sweeping the floor, the dust going to Sigma's face.
"I fuckin' hate this shit..." Sigma said aloud before succumbing to the idiotic antics the guild held.
... Yes, this was the reason he was called the Grand Daddy Cacktus.
TO BE CONTINUED...
AN: If anyone is wondering why "Cacktus" is spelled as such, it's an inside joke and will remain an inside joke.