Author's Note: We're having a blast writing this and hoping you're having a blast reading it! My co-author also wishes flameless reviews, because this is obvious not a serious work. We're not too concerned about storyline, grammar, plot, whatever…………

Usual Deal Here: We don't own these people or ideas, we just torture them and put them back when we are done.

Babmidnight's part:

Chapter 3:

"I've never lived over a hundred years" said Sam
Both Gandalf and Legolas take sips.
"I've never.......danced with a beautiful blonde elf maiden in the
kingdom of Mirkwood." said Gandalf.
Legolas takes a sip and blushes.
"Oh do I see Legolas blushing!!" shouted Pippin
"This is too good to be true" said Merry
Legolas stands up feeling a bit tipsy from all the liquor. He was
now on his fourth glass of liquor, far to many to his likely but
surely wasn't going to give up his pride and honor of being male or
wait he thought.......am I male? He walks over to a puddle near by
and looks at his reflection. He was still male thank the Valar
(spelling?)
"I've never done more than kiss a female elf" said Aragon staring at
Legolas with a knowing look.
"It's hot, anyone else hot?" asked Legolas
"How can you be hot it's nearly winter?" asked Frodo
Legolas shrugs and takes off his tunic (shirt) and jumps in a tree
swinging from tree to tree doing many talented gymnastics tricks
until he missed a branch and hit the ground.
Walking on unsure footing Legolas declares:
"I've never smoked a Pipe"
Proud of himself even though he was soaking wet from head to toe due
to falling in some water.
Legolas stands up again spins in circles until he's so dizzy that he
can't see anything without seeing a blur...he stops for a moment and
stares at Frodo and asks.
"Frodo, did you see that? I just saw a unicorn!" Legolas runs off to
find the mythical unicorn running though the woods screaming
"Oh come back her lovely unicorn, come back, Lego want to pet."
By then everyone was laughing. Legolas finally comes back pouting
that the unicorn was gone, sitting down ungracefully. Suddenly Gimli
came up with a good one figuring Legolas had to have done it when he
was younger, curious to how much more the liquor would affect Legolas.
"I've never been fascinated by butterfly's"
Legolas takes a sip when a butterfly flies by.......