Thanks for your reviews and kind comments and also for sticking with this. Hope you continue to enjoy…

Chapter 3

Dean has left him and therefore closed the matter. Unfortunately he hasn't reckoned on his brothers stubbornness and desperation and determination not to let his brother down.

But he is so pissed right now he can hardly speak. He feels his heart racing as he pushes himself off the window sill and after his brother.

The sun's going down but it's not dark yet and Dean is half way across the parking lot when Sam catches up with him. Without thinking he grabs his brother's upper arm spinning him round so hard he almost stumbles.

"Damn it Sam!"

"Who the hell do you think you are man?" Sam's head is pounding in a red haze that scares the hell out of him while Dean cocks his head with that infuriating smirk pasted to his face which is causing his brother's anger to increase by the second not to mention his inappropriate attempt at humour:

"Umm...Luke Skywalker." He finishes off his quip with that smart ass grin of his as if it's at all possible to piss Sam off any more.

"Enough, Dean OK?"

"Do you think this shirt brings out my eyes?" he does that goofy little pout thing with his mouth, unfortunately amusing no one but himself.

"Dean. Just. Stop." he keeps his voice low trying to hold his temper.

"Just... leave it alone Sammy, OK?" he starts to turn away but Sam's words interrupt his movement, seeing that his brother is also angry now, but that isn't going to stop him, not by a long shot.

"No, Dean I won't leave you alone, not now, not ever. I'm sorry if you can't deal with that but that's just the way it is."

"What do you want from me Sam? You want a hug is that it? You think that's gonna make everything OK Sam? Cos the world's that nice? Well I've got a news flash for y' Sammy, the world isn't nice. The world sucks." He turns in disgust and walks away again only to be grabbed and spun around for a second time, only this time Dean retaliates, shoving Sam hard in the chest causing him to stumble backwards.

At this precise point Sam's patience finally runs out and he's fighting the urge to allow his fist to connect with his infuriatingly stubborn big brother's jaw. Hurting Dean, though is the last thing he wants to do so he forces the clenched fist he's holding by his side to unravel and before he even knows he's done it, slaps his brother hard across the left side of his face and immediately feels like crap because he hadn't meant to hit him so hard but he's just decided that he won't let his brother shrug him off anymore and sooner or later someone has to back down and this time it isn't going to be him because he can't stand seeing his brother like this and he wants him to just stop.

---------------------------------------------------------------

The blow falls sharp and fast across his left cheek, jerking his head and leaving a hot sting causing his eyes to instinctively close. The sound, a sickening crack disturbs the stillness of the evening like a gunshot ringing out from miles away.

He would've laughed because he's so shocked, but it hurts and it really isn't that funny anyway.

Trust Sammy to hit him like a girl. If roles were reversed it would've been a fist not an open handed slap.

He touches the heel of his right hand to his cheek holding it there for a few seconds before letting it drop away and he's annoyed to find his eyes are stinging and there's this feeling in his chest like his insides are about to explode and he's breathing heavily and he doesn't know how long he can hold on to it.

His entire body feels cold and he feels like he's falling really fast and he can't even look his brother in the eye and he wishes he could just disappear and never hurt or harm anyone again because right now all there is, is guilt and hate and regret and there is no way out.

He keeps his head averted for what seems like far too long trying to make the tears go away and when he does finally turn to face his brother what he sees in Sam's eyes is too much for him to take and it hurts so much more than any blow because his Sammy is staring right at him, his eyes mirroring the despair and hopelessness and all the things inside him, the things he wants to shield Sam from and he hates himself for not being able to stop the tear that escapes and slides down his cheek and onto the floor to mix with the dust and the dirt and it's enough to finish him completely and he decides that he's had enough and he can't hang on anymore and he can't do this to his baby brother because it's so obviously killing him.

----------------------------------------------------------

Sam stares at Dean, eyes wide and shell shocked, hoping praying he's got through to him and when he sees the tear slip down his brothers cheek- the same one he had just struck - it's all he can do to hold it together, because he's reached a point now where he can't go back but all he wants to do is sit in a room and cry for his big brother and everything that he's lost or been denied over the years and all the things he should have had which would've stopped him turning into someone who just can't forgive himself.

He watches his brother who nods slightly as if granting Sam absolution from what he's just done, as if saying to him in his own messed up way: "You were right, I deserved it," then slowly walks past him lightly brushes his shoulder as he passes and he thinks that he looks defeated and broken like a war weary soldier who can't, doesn't want to fight any more. He can't bring himself to watch his brother walk back to the motel room, he just stands there staring out to the horizon wondering what the Winchesters did to the world that made it treat one of them so harshly; cruelly denying him all the things that he so much deserved.

to be continued