Sora woke up with a groan. His bed was really being rather uncomfortable. Last thing he remembered, he had asked Roxas to get him some water. Either Sora figured Roxas had walked out of the room and ignored him, or he'd fallen asleep before Roxas arrived back.
Sora opened his eyes slowly, suppressing a cough. Maybe if he stopped coughing, Roxas wouldn't be so annoyed. Sora hadn't meant to be a burden on him. He had insisted to Father that he would be fine on his own. Roxas didn't seem interested in taking care of him, in fact, he had shouted at him.
Geeze, uncomfortable bed. He felt like he was practically lying on cement. Cold cement. Sora blinked and tried to focus on what was in his line of vision. He saw rock, a lot of rock, and a pair of crossed legs, one foot bouncing up and down rather impatiently.
Sora made an attempt to sit up, royally confused about his whereabouts. He was in some kind of…throne room? That was what it resembled. A heavily decorated room of brick. The colors were somehow bright, yet dreary all at the same time. Sora felt the tickle rise in his chest, and he couldn't hold it back. Burying his face in his arm, he coughed rather violently.
"Are you sick?" a voice asked, echoing off the stone walls and bouncing about the tapestries in the room. Sora followed the tap-tapping foot upwards.
"Ri-" Sora inhaled too quickly and choked on his words, letting himself cough them out once again.
"Riku?" he squeaked out after a moment. It WAS his best friend. Dressed…really oddly to boot. Sora couldn't help but stare directly at his unnecessarily tight pants. He vaguely wondered if he could even move in those things. His shirt was a little too much, flounces and frills and whatever those ruffles were on the sleeve. The dark fabric complimented his hair, and the front lay open, partially exposing his chest, but that was nearly it. A long, dark robe sat on his shoulders, and spilled over the edge of the chair, onto the floor. Sora's eyes eventually fixated on the bored look he had across his face.
"I see you realize who I am, then," Riku said, shifting in his chair a little, propping his head up with his elbow resting on the arm of the chair. "What's your name?" he asked, with a little nod. He looked as if he were being careful to only show the smallest amount of interest.
Sora was clearly confused. He managed to sit up, feeling slightly dizzy as he did so. He shivered. It was drafty, and this place didn't hardly appear to have indoor heating. Not to mention he was on the floor. "Come on, Riku. Its me, Sora," he said. In the back of his mind, he was a little offended that Riku would forget him.
"You remind me as if we've met. I'm only keeping you at your brother's request. He asked for you to be taken away, and here you are. Away," Riku shrugged and uncrossed his legs, standing up and stretching a bit.
"Roxas did?" Sora asked in disbelief. He shook his head slowly, unable to really believe that Roxas would want something like that.
Riku shrugged, and squatted down so he was eye level with Sora. Sora didn't look too good, with his eyes barely open and his face flushed. He sniffled a little, seemingly to complete the effect. "How could he, really? Wish such a terrible thing, with you in such a terrible state?" Riku pushed some of Sora's hair aside, and his fingers brushed the burning skin on his forehead.
Sora felt his face heat up even more. This person looked like Riku, even smirked like him. He was rude and kind of arrogant, too. Yet, not all the pieces fit together.
Sora coughed a little, and with much effort, slowly pulled himself into a standing position. He wobbled a little bit on his feet, yet stared determinedly down at Riku. "I want you to explain to me. Everything. Who are you, really? Where are we and where is Roxas!"
Riku stood up, a curious look crossing his face. This kid really reminded him of someone. He couldn't place it, but he felt familiar to him. Especially those intense eyes, that Riku couldn't seem to tear his gaze from. Sora did seem to know him, yet now he was contradicting himself. "You said so yourself, that I'm Riku. I'm the Goblin King, and your brother has personally wished your presence here," he held out his arms to indicated the entirety of the room and immediate surrounding areas, "my castle, beyond the Goblin city, at the very center of my Labyrinth." Riku paused to make sure Sora was getting it.
Sora wasn't getting it. It sounded like a fantasy story to him. Goblin King? "Am I dreaming?" Sora asked, very seriously. He moved to pinch himself, but Riku caught his hand.
"I'm sure you wish you were," Riku said. "But I'm sorry, Sora. This isn't a dream," he carefully took Sora's arm and led him towards the throne like structure he had previously been seated in. "You're really here with me, and Roxas is really out there, impossibly lost in my Labyrinth, trying to reach you."
"But…how can it…you aren't…I don't see any Goblins!" Sora protested, in a last ditch effort to let this make believe nonsense stay unmade inside his head.
"Oh?" Riku asked, gently pushing Sora into a seated position. Riku's chair was big enough for two people to practically sit in, and although it appeared to be made of stone, was littered with pillows and some sort of soft fur. It was loads more comfortable than the floor, in any case.
Riku leaned over until his nose was inches from Sora's. "Then you aren't looking hard enough," he said, with a grin. Riku stood, whipping the robe from around his shoulders. He draped it neatly around Sora.
Sora looked up at Riku, searching his face for some last indication that this was a joke, but there was none. As Riku stepped away from him, the room was suddenly filled with small creatures, fuzzy and leathery and lying about. Some in small groups, gambling with dice or drinking merrily. Sora curled up in the chair, pulling the robe close around him. He squeezed his eyes shut, hearing Riku's laughter echo in his ears.
'Roxas, what is going on? Please come soon.'
Roxas was quite busy working his way through the Labyrinth, or so he thought. He had tucked the red sharpie inside his pocket earlier that night, and was now rather thankful for it. He stopped at a turn, and stooped to draw a large red arrow on one of the bricks. He continued to do this several times, going along where he pleased, sure his plan was foolproof.
'I swear I've seen that bush before,' he thought, scanning the ground. He hadn't marked anywhere, so he shook his head and figured he must be imagining things. Not hard, considering the environment. He crouched down and drew an arrow on the ground, capping the pen and continuing on.
Roxas stopped next to the familiar bush. 'I SWEAR…' His ear caught a rustling behind him, and a scraping of brick. He turned quickly, but there was nothing there.
Roxas spotted the arrow on the ground. It was flipped the complete opposite way! "Someone has been changing my marks!" he exclaimed, looking at the sharpie. He chucked it at the flipped brick in frustration. "What a horrible place! Its not fair!" Could anyone give him a BREAK?!
"That's right! Its not fair," said a voice behind him. Roxas abruptly whirled around and was shocked to see a pair of doors had suddenly appeared. He stared at them curiously. The door on the left was guarded by a blue guard, while the right door was protected by one that was red in color.
Roxas approached them very cautiously. He was starting to become less phased by the weirdness of the Labyrinth. They weren't really guards even, they were…creatures. Creatures hiding behind giant shields. Roxas wasn't sure where to look; at the bottom, where he could see the top of a head and a pair of feet, or the top, where he could see another head and a foot there as well.
"That's only the half of it!" exclaimed the head from the bottom of the red door, making Roxas jump just a little as all four heads erupted into laughter.
Something suddenly occurred to him and he lifted an eyebrow. "This was a dead end just a minute ago," he said, expressing his annoyance at the changing scenery.
The head at the bottom of the blue door popped out. "No! That's the dead end behind you!" he said, and all four fell into a fit of giggles once again.
Roxas turned around slowly and frowned. Damnit! "It keeps changing!" he yelled at the area that was once an opening. "What am I supposed to do?" he growled angrily at the doors. They cowered behind their shields just a bit.
"Try one of these doors," bottom red suggested, peaking out from behind the shield. Bottom blue followed suit. "One of them leads to the castle," he informed Roxas. "And the other leads to-"
"BUM BUM BUMMMMM!!!" his top counterpart suddenly popped up and shouted.
"CERTAIN DEATH!" Bottom blue finished, and their eyes darted about with a chorus of foreboding "Ooooooooooo!"s.
Roxas was not impressed, nor was he frightened. "Which one is which?" he demanded, folding his arms across his chest.
The bottom creatures looked at each other in a consulting fashion. "We can't tell you," Red decided.
Oh. Lots of help they were. Just like everything else in this stupid Labyrinth. "Why not?" Roxas yelled, taking up an offensive stance. Should he just punch them both in the face, open each door, and try them both?
"Uh…uh…" Bottom red searched for the words, looking at Blue for help. "We don't know!" he pronounced.
Roxas hit himself on the forehead with the palm of his hand. Good grief. He looked over his shoulders, deciding that any other way was probably better. To his dismay, he was completely boxed in.
"But THEY do," Bottom blue suddenly chimed in.
Roxas turned his attention back to the guards. "O…kay. Then I'll ask them?" What was the point? Weren't they all the same creature?
The two top heads shyly rose above the red and blue shields. They looked at each other a little nervously. "Uh…y-you can only ask one of us!" Red said defiantly.
"Its in the rules!" Blue chimed in. "But I'll warn you, one of us always tells the truth, and one of us always lies!"
GREAT. Roxas HATED riddles with a passion. Sora loved them. When they had to read 'The Hobbit' in middle school? Sora had LOVED it. He'd gone on the internet to look up new riddles just to be annoying, Roxas was sure. Sora was good at riddles. If only Sora were here now. But Sora was the thing Roxas was trying to get to. Roxas sighed dejectedly.
"He always lies," Blue nodded towards Red.
"I do not! I tell the truth!" Red protested.
"Oh, what a lie!" Blue spat back. Laughter echoed from the hidden heads below.
Roxas swore he heard this riddle before. One of the ones Sora had given him. Roxas furrowed his brow and rubbed his face, trying to stay calm and collected. He could hear all four guards snickering at him.
Roxas approached one of the doors. Red, to be exact. "Answer yes or no," he commanded it. He could totally figure this out. "Would…would HE tell me," he pointed to Blue, "that…THIS door leads to the castle?"
"Uh…" Red said, ducking beneath the shield. He consulted his other half in hushed tones. "Yes!" he decided.
So then… "Then the other door leads to the castle…and THIS door leads to certain death!" Victory! Sora would be proud.
"He could be telling the truth," Red reminded him.
Roxas shook his head. "But then you wouldn't be. So if you said he said yes, the answer would be no."
"I could be telling the truth?" Red tried.
Roxas was done. "Then he'd be lying. The answer would still be no," he replied impatiently.
"Is that right?" Red asked Blue for confirmation. Blue just laughed. "I don't know, I've never understood it!"
"Its right! I figured it out!" Roxas said, pushing the blue guard to the side. The door opened before him and he hesitated only a little.
Shaking his head to clear his mind, he stepped through. "I couldn't do it before, but maybe I'm getting smarter!" Roxas laughed a little and waved behind him to the guards. He started down the path. "It's a piece of caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake-!"
A hole opened up beneath him and he dropped straight through, the light disappearing above him.
Next comes our first parody in chapter four! "Alli Esta! Las Plagas!"
PS: I changed the title of the fic not wanting people to avoid it because it sounded childish or something. I only named it that because the person it was written for wanted it named that.