Author's Note: It worked! Thanks guys. It's good to know there are so many A/I fans still around enough to get me back into the game. This chapter might be a little confusing as I sort of combined and merged a bunch of random things I had written, but I hope the length of it makes up for the wait. Please leave your comments and reviews so that I can keep going!

Izzie was back, and by what he'd seen and gathered from the talk of the hospital, she was back for good. Hired, more like. A member of the staff. Scrubbing in and talking to patients with a storage space in the lounge. People were welcoming her back, calling her name down the halls and commenting on her hair.

And he was avoiding her.

It was simple. She wasn't a part of his life anymore, they were no longer together. Two separate bodies connected by a string of promises written down on paper, promises that meant crap. It was hard to stay focused. He didn't know whether to be angry for her determination, or feel relieved that she cared. But if she cared, she wouldn't have left in the first place, a reminder that he was drilling into his head over and over.

For days he felt nothing. There was her voice, her quick footsteps, but he wasn't eating lunch with them anymore. That left little reason for him to care and fewer chances for her to find him.

"Alex."

He heard her speak down the hall on the east wing, her voice careful. She was testing him, treating him like a dog that might run at the slightest sign of danger, staring straight ahead at his retreating form. Nothing, not even a 'hello'. He pretended that her voice was the sound of a crying patient or a doctor calling someone else.

At lunch, he felt her watching him again, even as he grudgingly retrieved his food and sat at another table, alone. He'd started out alone, hell, he could do it again. Who needed a crew of people who pretended to care about you to get through a half hour break? Not Alex Karev. He was beginning to think he needed nobody.

The day couldn't have dragged on any slower. He was just getting out of surgery, ripping the stained gloves from his shaking hands. They had lost the boy; there wasn't anything that could have been done. Alex saw her adamant silhouette through the looking glass window, and for a moment their eyes locked. His gaze turned forward instantly, running his arms under the water, focusing only on the mess they had left in the operating room. Soon after, Jackson was beside him and a conversation picked up; he was completely unaware of the dilemma going on outside the door.

"He won't, I know he won't."

Izzie sighed, her body hitting lightly against the door. From a distance away, and through many glass surfaces, they were looking at the oblivious features of her ex husband.

'He will, give him time.' Meredith bit her lip, watching as Alex conversed with several doctor's in the scrub room.

"What, has he still not said a word? I gave him my surgery, I thought-" Cristina was instantly hushed just as soon as she arrived on the scene, looking shocked, but instantly understanding.

'Look at him, Meredith. That, that right there,' All three of them turned to look as Izzie spoke; Christina's brows shot up. "The way he's looking right now, I did that to him."

She felt it now, the regret. She had left him. Alone, in the dust, cold. After everything she had known about him, his past; after all, Alex was not a man to trust. Had her 'I care about you''s meant nothing? No, it had. It had meant something.

"You okay, man?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Alex's tone was defensive and taut, ready to fire without a second's notice. People had been asking him the same question all day and he was growing tired of it.

"Well, your wife is kind of here.'

"Ex wife." Alex corrected hotly, feeling his hands tighten into fists under the stream of water.

There was a pause in which neither of them spoke. Alex sighed, shaking his head with a smirk. "I just scrubbed in on an open heart surgery. You think I honestly care that she's here?' He laughed and it sounded all wrong as he quickly moved forward to dry his now shaking hands. 'Nice try, Avery."

It was eleven 'oclock and Joe's was packed. He shouldn't be here because it was the obvious place to be found, where she would look if she really tried to find him. Did he want to be found? His shoulders heaved and fell lightly as he ordered another drink, staring at the palms of his hands, tired and sore from holding back a retractor all day. Alex still couldn't quite work out how he felt about Izzie's sudden return, didn't want to take the time to ponder over what she might want. In all honesty, it just hurt way too damn much, and he wasn't in the mood or even functional enough to take another emotional breakdown, something that would very likely send him to his knees in agony.

There was no other explanation for the way his body suddenly seized other than the fact that he knew who had just taken a seat beside him. The stool creaked and swung; very accidentally, he felt a knee tap lightly into his. Alex swallowed, breath held.

"Right where I'd thought you'd be. Some things just don't change, do they?" He didn't reply, but remained focused on the back of the bar, at the many bottles lined up against the mirrored walls.

She exhaled. "Alex…"

Why was it that he couldn't move or breathe or show any damn clue that he was alive? "What do you want?" Harsh words finally pushed through his lips, so much that nobody could really tell that he had even spoken.

"Can we talk?" Her voice was stronger now; apparently his reply had given her confidence.

"You seem to be doing a good job of it on your own." His snappy retort was predictable and petty, definitely not the best he could do. She had been the best he'd done, the best he'd ever had. An image of a night months ago, where he'd broken down and told her he couldn't survive without her was just a mere memory now.

"Fine, I'll do the talking." She paused as if waiting for him to give permission. When he did nothing more than simply take a sip of his vodka tonic and stare straight at Joe who was serving a bunch of rowdy men in the corner, Izzie spoke, "I messed up, Alex. I left you when I was unstable, emotionally sick, and I didn't tell you about it. I assumed you had sold me out to the Chief and I realize now that I was wrong. Stupid, selfish, wrong. I made a mistake. I got scared and I ran and I regret it so so much. I should have never left you."

She sighed and surveyed the profile of him, wishing he could give her something, anything. Even so much as a glance. "I love you."

"Hey hey, Michelle!" Alex's voice broke her reverie, calling out over the crowd as he waved down a pretty brunette. The girl's eyes looked over in curiosity. "You free tonight?" The girl nodded and sauntered over, making her way fluidly through the sea of people before stopping squarely in front of the man who was now blatantly ignoring her. Alex smiled and stood up, not even bothering to turn back and glance at Izzie before downing the remainder of his drink and grabbing his jacket to join the scantily clad younger woman.

It felt like her gut was sinking, something hard and hallow falling to the bottom of her stomach to act as a weight, the weight of what she had done to him.

Alex and Michelle made their way to the exit as she watched. Izzie closed her eyes and tried not to let her emotions get the best of her. She wanted to play dirty, and yet she wanted to give him the space he needed, the time to accept that she was back and not leaving.

Without making the decision to, she found herself jumping off the stool and taking off after them, her pace quick and precise. She made a beeline for his back, following the pair halfway through the bar until they almost reached the door.

"Dr. Karev!" Her voice rung out powerfully in the commotion as the room quickly hushed in confusion.

Izzie watched as he stopped. She knew someone calling him Doctor in the bar would make him question her voice, and only that would have the power to make him turn fully around to see her. Standing there like an idiot in the middle of the crowd, she looked around at everyone staring and blushed. Alex searched and found her face, giving her a 'what the hell' look which she knew wouldn't last much longer before he turned around for good and got nasty with his nurse bitch.

"Alex, I'm having your child."

She said it without truly thinking of the consequences, out of sheer need for him to look at her. His jaw tightened, his eyes blazed, and the woman with her arm enclosed around his delicately untangled herself from him, apologized, and took off.

Izzie continued, ignoring the wowed expressions from the surrounding people and the way the room couldn't decide if they should clap or whistle.

"I'm having our child. My cancer mets have shrunk down almost completely, I'm out of the woods, I feel healthy and ready." She smiled with the knowledge that she actually meant these words, ignoring the jarring expression on his face.

"And I'm going to see a fertility specialist tomorrow."