Question 2

"Okay, here's your second question. Primrose, you and Rory are first this time."

"It's about time Caesar," Prim said.

"Now Rory, what did Primrose write your favorite condiment is?"

"That's easy. Trojan."

"Rory, I think you misunderstood the question. I said condiment not-" Prim, without listening, cut Caesar off.

"TROJAN! TROJAN! That's stupid! Oh please. All you had to say is catsup or mustard and we'd have a 50/50 shot, but no, you say TROJAN! What the hell is Trojan anyway? Some kind of weirdo Worcestershire sauce or something? Oh, Christ! Trojan, oy vey."

"The score after question number two is Katniss and Peeta, 100 points; Primrose and Rory, nothing yet; Madge and Gale, 100 points; Annie and Finnick, nothing yet."

"Jo, what did you say?" Clove asked.

"Poacher's Relish," Jo said.

"Yay! Two for two." They high-fived again.

Effie and Haymitch entered the studio. "Hi Effie, Professor Wine-o." Jo smirked.

"Good to see you too Miss Mason, and I see you brought your better half." Clove returned Haymitch's smile.

"Jo, how much have we missed?" Effie asked.

"Not much, they just finished question 2," Jo said. "Effie, you got a mention."

"Oh, that's nice. I'll see it later."

Question 3

"Gale, you and Madge are up first. Gale, besides popcorn, what is your favorite thing to nibble on at the movies?"

"Um, that's a hard one. There really isn't anything special. I'll go with Twizzlers."

Madge frowned and turned over her card. HIS FINGERNAILS.

"My fingernails!" Gale objected. "Why would you say that?"

"Oh my God Gale! Look at these things." Madge grabbed Gale's hands and held them up. The camera zoomed in. "LOOK! LOOK! I should dip your fingertips in gasoline to keep you from biting them."

"Oh Madge, they are stubby. You should have Octavia work on them," Caesar said.

"That's a good idea. First thing tomorrow you're getting a mani-pedi." Katniss almost fell out of her booth laughing.

"Good idea Madge. Now to you Finnick, besides popcorn, what is your favorite thing to nibble on at the movies?"

"Well, candy, popcorn, and gum are all delicious, but not as delicious as my Annie. So I'm saying her beautiful breasts."

"Her what?" Caesar leaned in. "Did you say Annie's breasts?" Finnick nodded yes. "Right in the theater?" He nodded again. "Okay, Annie, let's see what you wrote." Annie turned over her card. MY BOOBS. "Correct! Well, I'll be! 100 points to the O'Dairs!"

"The score after question number three is Katniss and Peeta, 100 points; Primrose and Rory, nothing yet; Madge and Gale, 100 points; Annie and Finnick, 100 points."

Jo said, "Raisinettes." Clove showed her answer, RAISINETTES. "Oh, you remember."

"Ever since our first movie together." They kissed.

The head of programming, Plutarch Havensbee, walked in. "Hello Plutarch," Fulvia greeted her boss.

"Hello, Fulvia." Plutarch Havenbee resembled a bear. His voice boomed and filled the room. "How is the show going?"

"It will be an interesting episode."

"I don't want interesting Fulvia. I want ratings."

Question 4

"Finnick, what did your lovely wife answer to this, most of the electricity in our home flows from the blank to the blank," Caesar asked.

"Oh my Caesar, that might be the easiest one tonight." Annie blushed as she and Finnick shared a stolen glance. "She wrote, from me to her." Annie turned over her card, ANNIE TO FINNICK.

"Very good, 100 points to the O'Dairs," Caesar said. "Finnick, I have to ask you ..." Finnick and Annie weren't paying attention to their host. They held hands and looked into each other's green eyes. "Excuse me guys, Finnick, Annie."

"HEY! Someone hose Finnick down." All eyes turned to Prim. "He's literally a dog in heat!" Prim yelled.

"I'm sorry Prim, but I think you mean figuratively," Madge said.

Prim glared at Madge. "Who appointed you grammar police?"

"It's my fault, Prim," Annie said. "I gave her Grammar Hint-a-Day Toilet Paper for her birthday."

"I think of you every time I sit on my toilet Annie," Madge said. "But Prim, heat refers to a female, not a boy dog."

"Madge is right Prim, he's not in heat," Annie said. "He's just horny."

"Peeta, what did Katniss say to this, most of the electricity in our home flows from the blank to the blank."

"Well, Katniss has a set of lights she uses to put on her makeup. She hides it under the vanity."

Katniss's mouth fell open.

"Katniss, why do you hide the lights under your vanity?" Caesar asked.

"Well, my husband is a very green person. So all we have are those curly light bulbs. They distort all the colors in the room. When I look in the mirror all I see is the blue people from Avatar."

Peeta shrugged his shoulders, "just doing our part in saving the planet."

"At the expense of me looking like a clown."

Katniss turned over her card, THE JACUZZI. "I use it a lot."

Peeta nodded his head. "Presently, as in the past, she's very tense."

"Do expect her to be like that in the future?"

"I absolutely expect her to be tense in the future."

"Rory, what did Prim say to this, most of the electricity in our home flows from the blank to the blank," Caesar said.

"Oh God, I don't know. She has so many electric things in our apartment I'm surprised our meter doesn't take off and fly away." Prim scrunched her nose and mimicked Rory. "I'm going to say the spotlights Prim has lighting up her porcelain doll collection."

"She has a large doll collection?" Caesar asked.

"Yup and they all look like they're staring at me. They're really creepy."

"Prim, your answer is."

Prim crossed her arms her nostrils flared. "What do you mean my dolls are creepy? You take it back!"

"I can't take it back, I said it on TV."

"It's taped, now take it back."

"Okay, have it your way, the microwave." Prim threw her arms in the air.

"Prim, Rory said microwave, now let's see your card." She flipped it over, THE SPOTLIGHTS ON MY DOLLS.

Rory threw his hands over his face. "Why did you demand I take back my answer?"

"Not your answer! Just calling my dolls creepy!"

"Gale, most of the electricity in our home flows from the blank to the blank," Caesar asked.

"Okay, from the plug to vibrator," Gale said.

Madge rolled her eyes and then shook her head. "Gale, why would you say that?" She turned over her card and it said DRYER. "You gotta know my vibrator runs on batteries."

Gale held his face in his hands and rubbed his temples. "First, the dryer is gas, not electric. Second, I was talking about the vibrating massage chair, not your, er, toy."

"Oh, sorry, nevermind," Madge said.

Everyone looked over at Peeta laughing. "Peeta, what's so funny?" Caesar asked.

"Oh, I was just thinking of the box of fifty "D" cell batteries Katniss just had delivered." Katniss covered her face with her cards and slunk low in her seat.

Prim leaned over to talk to Katniss. "Kat, I can't believe you use a vibrator that needs batteries. You should get one that is rechargeable." Katniss sunk even lower. "It can sit right there on your nightstand; ready for use at a moments notice. And having it visible will keep your husband in line. He'll see his competition every night when he goes to bed."

"Now that I think of it, I should have said vibrator like Gale," Rory said.

"The score at half-time: Katniss and Peeta, 100 points; Primrose and Rory, nothing yet; Madge and Gale, 100 points; Annie and Finnick, 200 points."

"My computer." Jo said.

"Ahhhhh! We are like one mind!" Clove and Jo kissed.

"Fulvia."

"Yes, Plutarch."

"Where did you find these loons?"

"Cressida and Effie Trinket found them."

"What's an Effie Trinket?"

Half-time

"The score so far: Katniss and Peeta, 100 points; Primrose and Rory, nothing yet; Madge and Gale, 100 points; Annie and Finnick, 200 points. So it's time to get to know our contestants. Annie and Finnick O'Dair. You guys own the Blue Finn restaurant. So how is the restaurant business Finnick?"

"Couldn't be better Caesar. We recently opened a chain of family style restaurants called Dirty Dick's Crab House. If you go to our website you can download coupons." Finnick then flashed his million dollar smile and winked.

"Oh thank you Finnick. I'm sure our viewers will enjoy dinner or lunch at Dirty Dick's Crab House," Caesar said. The free publicity pleased Finnick.

"Madge and Gale, why don't you tell us what you have been up to."

Madge took the lead. "Well Caesar, the first person to send me an email," Madge held up her email address on a card, "will receive my services as political advisor for their campaign. So whether you're running for the school board or commissioner of the local sewer district write me."

"Um, thank you, Madge. Now Prim and Rory ..."

"And the first person to contact us will have Rory set up their bookkeeping system," Prim said.

Rory tugged Prim's sleeve. "I don't do bookkeeping Prim."

"Okay, Rory will do their income tax returns."

"Prim, I don't do income taxes."

"Oh Christ Rory, you're an accountant, what the hell do you do at work?"

"Well, I-"

"Forget it, Rory. I will do a neuro-endoscope, extended bifrontal craniotomy, or even a trans-labyrinthine craniotomy to the first person to contact me for free." Prim turned her head and winked at the camera.

"Well, well. Thank you, Prim. Now Katniss and Peeta, why don't you bring us up to date on what's going on in your life."

"Thank you, Caesar. We're fine and the baby's fine. The first person to contact me gets ..." Katniss paused and looked at Peeta. Peeta shook his head. Katniss smiled and nodded her's. "... Peeta will represent them in their arraignment and bail hearing. Only New York and New Jersey of course."

"Of course," Caesar said.

"Now for the second half of our show."