Chapter Three; Change The Past? Never.

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I woke again, but I was in a different bed. It felt solid underneath me, not as soft as the bed in Emily and Sam's guest bedroom was. And the light was different, it was pitch black outside now, a sliver of moonlight shown through the window. I sat up in the bed slowly.

"Don't move too fast." I nearly jumped right off the bed, my hand flying to my chest and taking a few deep, even breaths. "Your head might still feel a little light, so be careful." I knew that voice, it sounded familiar but my mind was having a hard time putting things together, it seemed to be working at an extra slow pace right now. I sighed and closed my eyes, digging through memories of today, and then my eyes flew open.

"Embry?" I saw something move then, a shadow against the wall by the door. Was he planning his escape again, I felt a twinge of pain run through me. Biting back a sob, I squinted into the darkness.

"Yes."

"Where am I? Where are we?" I could hear the slight shake still in my voice, I tried to calm myself down. He moved even further into the room, his movements were slow and fluid. And for the first time I saw Embry as a man, not a boy. He was no longer the little 16 year old I'd met, but a wolf, a man, and mine. My eyes widened at the thought, and I could feel the blush creep over my face. I couldn't understand why I'd have that kind of thought about Embry, but the longer I looked at him, the stronger the feeling became.

"My house, in my room." He was standing just beside the bed now, his bed. His hands were bunched into fists, and he was holding them firmly to his sides. His eyes seemed dangerous, and wild. Just like when he was in wolf form, they were haunting and dark. Before I could stop myself, I was reaching up towards him and my hand was firmly planted against his cheek.

He didn't jump away from my touch, but he didn't lean into it either. He just stood there, like a statue, with his big, dark eyes staring down at me, into me. I'd always thought Embry was a sweet, quiet and lovable kid. But, this man before me was anything but those things. His eyes were wild, his jaw clenched, the muscles across his shoulders and down his arms were tense and strong. There was so much in his eyes, for much in him, that I'd never seen before. He was tall, so much taller than he'd been even months ago, and I bet he is still growing. Most of the boys still are, I know that Jacob's been still growing a few inches a month.

I stopped my train of thought suddenly, Jacob. I didn't feel the pain, the twinge, the loss, or the heartbreak that had been associated with his name lately. I wonder, Edward. I nearly laughed out loud, there was no hole, no pain, no ache. Edward. Jacob. Edward. Jacob. I wanted to get up and dance, but I knew I'd only embarrass myself and upset Embry.

"Bella." My eyes flashed up to his, and I could instantly see the turmoil rolling through his eyes, the emotions written across his face were so blatant, so open. His voice was deeper than I'd ever heard, husky and thick with emotion. The urge to wrap my arms around him was nearly suffocating me. And for the first time, in a long time, I gave into impulse and did just that.

I threw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck tightly, pressing my body against his and holding on tight. I buried my face against his neck, and could feel the heat pouring from his body in waves. I rubbed my hands down his back, feeling the muscles tense and un-tense beneath my pale fingers. I could feel his heartbeat suddenly, strong and fast, against my own chest.

He made a choked sound of distress, before his strong warm arms slide around my waist, pulling me closer to him. He turned his face, burying it into my air and breathing deeply. It felt as if electrical shocks were humming over my body, flowing through me, pulsing around me. The air was thick with emotions, just as his voice had been. I sighed into him, and his arms tightened around me, as if I was going to slip right through them.

"Embry." I said his name, nothing but a low whisper, but I knew he could hear me.

"I won't ever leave you, Bella." I felt my heart clench in my chest, right before it burst open and I felt light. There was no more darkness within my soul, no more pain within my heart, no more bitterness, there was nothing but happiness, love and joy. "But, there are a few things that need to be explained."

I sighed, and knew it was true, but talking always seemed to ruin the moment. Talking always seemed to bring pain and hurt. I held onto him for another minute longer, letting my lips brush across his neck, and then pulling back. He looked at me, long and hard before he softly laid me back onto his bed. He turned to walk away, and I grabbed his hand quickly, pulling him roughly onto the bed next to me.

"I'm not going anywhere Bella, I was only going to turn the light on." He chuckled softly, his voice was softer now. He turned to me, tucked a stray hair behind my ear and then slide out of the bed. He turned on the light, and I had to blink a few times to allow my eyes to adjust to the harsh light. I looked around his room, and was surprised by what I found. His room was pretty big, and simple. He had a dark wooden desk, bookcase and small table. There were books pouring from his bookcase, piled on the desk. There was a chess board on the table, and a guitar leaning against the wall in the corner. He had a big stereo in the other corner, surrounded by mountains of CDs. He had a bunch of tools sitting next to his desk, and a helmet hung over the arm of the chair.

I turned to find him watching me, I blushed and then patted the bed next to me, silently calling him back over. He flashed me a bright smile, and I couldn't help but smile back at him. He jumped onto the bed, causing me to bounce and fall back ungracefully against his pillows.

"Like my room?"

"It surprised me. I pictured," I hesitated thinking it through, and then deciding to withhold what I'd really imagined from him "well not this."

"You pictured what, Bella?" He was laughing at me again, I could tell without even looking at him. I sent him a glare, and he just smiled back at me.

"I'm glad you're enjoying this."

"Oh, I am, immensely." I raised an eyebrow, since when did Embry use words like immensely.

"That. I didn't imagine you'd say things like immensely. Or that you'd have so many books, or a chess set. I didn't even think you'd have a desk!" I knew my voice sounded rough, and exasperated, so I think a deep breath to calm myself down. "I pictured, a TV and video games. I pictured posters of favorite bands, maybe a football or soccer ball. I pictured red and black, not blues. I didn't know you played guitar, or even really enjoyed music, as you seem to."

"I see."

"I've upset you."

"No. No, you haven't upset me. It's a cliché thought process you had Bella, and I only expected more of you. I never knew you were one to take people at face value, I thought you would look deeper."

"I'm sorry." I could hear that he was upset, even if he wanted to tell me he wasn't. I'd upset him, because I'd thought less of him. Though, I'd never thought less of him, I'd only pictured him differently. "I always thought, you were this big, sweet, gentle teddy bear." I stood then, walking to the window slowly. "You were shy and quiet, when I first met you. You joked with Jared and made bets all the time, you fixed cars with Quil, and you ride a motorcycle. You change into a wolf, and you are insanely loyal to everyone you care about. I've never heard you say one bad thing, about anyone, even the Cullens."

I waited for the growl, the one I'd heard from Jacob so many times in association to that name. But, it never came, another thing that surprised me about Embry, that made me care about him so much more.

"You don't judge people Embry, and I don't think you have an evil bone in your body. But you know that you have a duty; to yourself, to your family, to your pack, to your tribe. You know that what you are, who you are, is an important part to your life, and to the tribes safety. And even though it may pain you, you hate vampires, and it hurts you because you know they were once people, just as we are. They once had a heartbeat, they'd loved, they'd hurt, they'd bled. But, you push that aside for loyalty, for birthright, and because it's who you are."

"I can't change who I am, Bella."

"And I'd never want you to Embry. Can't you see that? Can't you see how much everyone looks up to you, how you can make Leah smile and you don't bagger her. Even when the other guys all beat down on her. Can't you see how Jacob and Quil, adore your never faltering friendship, brotherhood. How the pack relies on you, even as you rely on them. That Sam looks to you, as another leader of the pack, as a brother, as a son. Can't you see, how I look at you?"

I turned then, knowing that my eyes were filling with tears and for once not caring if someone saw me cry tears for them, over them. Because he deserves it, and so much more. He was looking at me, and unreadable emotion in his eyes. He continued to look at me, a seconds ticked by, turning into minutes. I didn't dare move, and there was nothing more to say. So I waited, and I'd continued to wait forever for him.

"I love you Bella." It was a whisper, but I'd heard it loud and clear. His eyes were bright with emotion, and his lips slowly quirked up into a smile. And my heart was suddenly beating twice as fast as it should be, and I smiled through my tears. Happiness.

"I love you too, Em."

"Now, Miss. Monologue, come sit down while I tell you about what's happened today."

I sighed and fought the urge to roll my eyes, leave it up to Embry to totally pass over everything else I'd said. I shrugged to myself, and fell back onto the bed, laying my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat steadily.

"I imprinted on you Bella. A while ago, but not the first time I'd met you, not right after Jacob had changed. I didn't understand why I hadn't imprinted on you right away. But, Sam explained it to me. He said, that the wolf soul, finds it's best match in soul. But yours was broken for a while, when the Cullens had left. Their departure had left you broken, and confused. And you weren't ready for me, to be imprinted on me, and I wasn't the one that you needed to fix you."

"So you are saying, that Jacob had to love me, and then imprint. That was all part of my soul, repairing itself?"

"Yes. You need to experience, love and loss. You need to experience joy and friendship. You need to know about us, I guess too. And you accepted it, us, because Jacob was one of us, and you loved him. Even if you weren't in love with Jacob, if you couldn't care about him like he was so set on caring about you. You still loved him."

"I still do, Jacob is my best friend. I'm okay about it now. I know it wasn't fair for me to be upset with him, or upset with his imprint. You don't get to choose that, and I knew in my heart that I wasn't what Jacob really needed. I am glad he's found that, and happiness."

"See, you needed to learn that too. But, I was so worried about telling you, especially after Jacob had imprinted, and how upset about the entire thing you seemed to be. How upset with everyone you seemed to be, we could all feel the anger, the bitterness rolling off of you. It made you smell different for a while. So I tried to deny everything that my wolf half, kept telling me was mine. I tried to deny you, my feelings for you, everything."

"Is that what all the angry looks and leaving were about?"

"Yes. It was easier to not be around you, because when I wasn't around you I couldn't smell you, or hear your heartbeat. I couldn't feel the pull, and I couldn't see you laugh or smile, or just lost in thought. I couldn't see you hurting, and sad, and want to rip Jacob's head off, Edward's head off. It was better if I wasn't around you."

"But you were there today. In the room, after I'd passed out."

"Yes."

"And you left."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"You said you'd wished you were dead. And the pain that brought to me, the anger was too much. I knew I was going to phase, so I had to get out of the house."

"But you phased in the house anyways, later."

"Yes, I did. After you'd yelled at everyone, and said you were sick of us all. The anger and hurt inside me was too much. I was denying the imprint. And I was trying to force myself to hate you. It all caused too much emotion in me, that I phased."

"And then I hurt. Why was I hurting like that?"

"Because I was leaving, and I denied you. Imprinting is often different for each wolf, and their imprint. Sam and Emily both just knew, the second they set eye on each other. And with Jacob, his imprint actually found him. She was crying at school, some boys had been picking on her hair, and she'd been running through the school. And she ended up running right to Jacob, and holding onto him. Jacob didn't even know the girl, until that day. Sam thinks his worked like that with Emily, because he'd always known that things weren't quite right with Leah. And Emily had been hurting and looking for true love. Jacob wasn't ready to see anyone but you, and it was time for him to let go. And then, you were hurting, so you reached out to me, your soul recognized the love I feel for you. And when I denied you, when I turned and ran. It caused you pain. Because we can not deny our imprint without consequences. And we all thought the consequences would fall onto us, because no one has tried to deny an imprint before. But we were wrong."

"The consequences fell onto me." I said quietly, so much of the wolf imprinting was starting to finally make sense.

"Yes."

"Why was it worse when Sam, and Quil touched me. And even worse yet, when Jacob touched me."

"Because they are wolves, and in the same pack as me. And during the first week or two, of imprint and wolf recognizing one another, finally, no one else in the pack can touch the imprint. I'm not really sure why that is, and no one seems to know, not even Sam. We all just know that it is. And I think the stronger the bond, the stronger the hurt."

"And Emily felt so cold, when she touched me."

"You were burning up, almost as warm as my heat runs. We don't know why that happened, it is probably more to do with denying an imprint. But you were better, in instant I held you, I could feel it. Your temperature dropped immediately, your body un-tensed, and you weren't shaking anymore."

"It didn't hurt anymore, once you were there. And when I'd said your name, the pain had gone away a bit, each time."

"I'm glad. And I'm sorry, for hurting you at all."

"It's in the past now Embry, let's just forget about it all, and move forward. Okay?"

"Okay, I can do that."

"Good."

A calm, quiet silence fell over us, as we laid there on his bed, wrapped around each other. His heartbeat, steady as a rock, slowly lulled me into a deep peaceful sleep.

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