--The, uh, recurring, 'is not, is too, is not' arguments are, um...not a sign of my lack of vocabulary skills/creativity... the prompts sort of just wrote themselves, so, uh... heh--Blame the prompts! (points and runs when everyone is looking the other way) And, lol, *#?$'s ftw!

Righty then.

Challenge 3: Back and Forth

A loud crash echoed through the offices of Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, nearly knocking a framed picture off the wall had it not been for Lieutenant Hawkeye, who caught it and slapped it back onto its hook. The other occupants of the room, Lieutenants Havoc, Falman, Breda, and Fuery, all looked toward the closed door with no small amount of trepidation. They feared for their colonel's life, certainly, but more importantly, they feared for themselves, after the storm had passed and their unit was inevitably left with a truckload of damage fees and a bad-tempered Flame Alchemist.

There was another loud smash, much like an automail fist colliding with a mahogany military-issue desk, and then the door slammed open (Lieutenant Hawkeye put a steadying hand on the picture) and smacked against the wall. A 4'11" major by the name of Edward Elric stomped out, cursing a blue streak. Havoc and Falman carefully placed their hands over Fuery's delicate ears.

"Hey Major," said Breda tentatively.

"Hello, Lieutenant," the fourteen-year-old replied through gritted teeth.

"Umm…May I inquire as to what you're doing?"

Ed, who was pulling back his right sleeve, revealing dented, ruthless automail, sighed. "If you must. I need to break the glass so I can set the fire alarm." He smiled wicked little smile, laughed maliciously, and the lieutenants shivered. "The sprinklers will go off—and here's the best part—one of them is right over Colonel B—Mustang's head. Hmph…there goes his high-and-mighty attitud—gah!"

"Hold it right there." Roy Mustang gave the boy a glare before releasing the chokehold on him and shoving him away from the alarm. "That's playing dirty." And finally even Hawkeye looked up, because if the Colonel was actually out of his desk, then clearly this was a Matter of Great Importance.

"Like I care! If you can go out of your way to make me look stupid, why can't I do the same!?"

Roy sighed, then said wisely, "You're such a child, Fullmetal."

Falman, Breda, Havoc, and Fuery (who didn't really know what was going on, mainly because his ears were still covered) were not too sure that provoking him was maybe the smartest idea. The fact that Ed's face was slowly turning the same color as his coat only served to heighten the very, very bad feeling.

"I am. Not. A child," he ground out.

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"AM NOT!"

"Are too—am not."

"ARE TOO!" Edward froze. Stared. Spluttered furiously, and then, as promised, exploded into an all-out fit.

"YOU STUPID &*^$##^, ~!#%^&%*&(!*+ING, WRINKLED OLD *!#$% ^-%&*%($*&~~~!"

By the time Fuery was allowed to hear again, the Fullmetal Alchemist had been bodily dragged from the office by security, swearing to wipe the +&%!^*$-ing smirk off the Colonel's face all the way down the hall.

The next day the sprinkler over Roy's desk was removed.