Disclaimer - All rights belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and the creators of TDI. No profit is being made in the making of the fanfiction. This alternate-universe episode of TDI contains stunts performed by written teens. Do not try any of this at home, except for the stuff that you can do at home. Except for the things you shouldn't, but can, just don't unless it's okay, but not when it's not.
TKN's Warning - Spot the differences so far? Like 'em? Hate 'em? Let me know!
And now for something completely different. Duncan's on Team Victory, Katie's on Team Amazon, and there is a duck in Egypt! (You know, A Duck In Egypt would make a good name for a rock band. A very weird rock band.)
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Chapter 03 - Riled Nile Crocodiles
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(Starting Line)
The three teams were conversing with each other, trying to decide the best course of action. With not a map, compass, or clue to where the heck in Egypt they were among them ("We are as hidden as Carmen Sandiego," Noah had commented), they all wondered how they were going to find the Nile.
Chris was no help. His only instructions were that once the race started, they were to head to the Nile with the prize they had been given. He had given no clues which way exactly, though he promised it was "right ahead," and he wasn't giving them any water or supplies. Most of the teenagers were horrified at the thought of going across the desert with no map or water.
"Sorry, campers," Chris said, "but the budget was sliced a little thin, so we couldn't afford extra supplies for you all. Oh well, them's the breaks, right?"
He said this as he sat on the air-conditioned throne, using one of the interns as a footstool, while sipping champagne, the bottle in a temperature-controlled icebox, and munched on some lobster. Everyone there wanted to smack him, even the gentle ones DJ and Bridgette, and especially the intern.
"It comes from being the most wanted host currently," Sierra was saying to her teammates, chuckling to herself. "Chris Maclean is so highly desired, the company for Total Drama, which is also the currently the biggest grossing company in reality shows, would do anything for him. Heck, they'd build a stadium for him if he wanted it for this third season."
Courtney scoffed. "How could someone be so arrogant?"
"Like you were any better last season," Heather remarked.
"What does that mean?"
"You were the one with special treatment in TDA," the queen bee said, calm and cool. "You were just as bad as Chris Maclean, and don't you try to deny it."
"I sure as heck will! I didn't ask for all of those things, Chris just gave most of them to me so that you'd all get mad at me and vote me off, as revenge for my getting back on the show via my lawyers."
"Yeah, like they could, with your immunity," Heather muttered. "I'm gonna talk to the camel, she disgusts me less."
As Heather left Courtney stammering, Sierra pat the CIT's shoulder. "Don't worry, she's just trying to make you look the worst. That way, we will want to vote off you instead of her."
"She's doing a good job of it. Heck," Courtney said, kicking at the sand, "even when I looked back at that last season, I couldn't believe how temperamental I could get."
"Reality shows make everyone tenser, and not themselves. It's a proven fact from many studies that I've read a lot of, to see what I can expect when I finally get on one."
Katie bounced on the heels of her feet as she smiled at them. "I know how stressful reality TV can be. Sadie and I had our first major fight because of this show! And our second. And...," the sweet girl tapped her fingers together, nervously looking up, "... third and fourth... fifth was off the show, sixth was on the show-"
"We get the point," Courtney said, shaking her hands. "Look, Katie, you're almost as new to this game as Sierra, so I want to ask you something. Don't vote for me, and I'll help you two out as much as I can."
Katie looked concerned, glancing over at Team Chris. Noah was trying to calm down Owen, who was concerned about the trek ("What about having no map and food, or cell phones or food, or snacks and food?"). Tyler was petting the goat, and it kept nuzzling his chest with his head. Alejandro was talking to a flirty, sly Izzy.
"Do you like fluffernutter?" she asked him.
"What's that?"
"Wanna find out?"
It was the most awkward flirtation Alejandro had ever been in, and the strangest Katie had ever seen. She was so distracted, that Courtney had to poke her several times to get her attention.
"Katie? About my deal?"
"Huh? Oh yeah, sure."
(Airplane Bathroom - Fluffernutter? Oh nom nom nom.)
Katie - "Truth be told, I don't like my team that much, even if it's got girl power. I wanted to be on Team Chris, because the people there are so much nicer. Alejandro, Izzy, Owen, and especially..."
*She blushes, grinning shyly.* "Noah. He was just so nice to me, and has been comforting me all this time. I really wanted to be with him... do you think he likes me?" *Leaning in to the camera, she smiles but then looks confused.* "Wait, why am I asking a camera?"
*Katie howls in anguish.* "I'm on a team of mostly girls, and I have no one to gal pal with! Sadie, I miss you!"
Team Victory was trying to sort things out among themselves. DJ was talking to Bridgette and Harold, discussing survival out in the desert. Duncan was making small talk with Leshawna, and Lindsay was closely inspecting the stick.
"I think it's pine," she said, squinting her baby blue eyes. She licked her lips, and said, "Or maybe palm." She waved it in the air. "Maybe it's part of a tree next to the Nile, and it'll guide us back to its owner."
Duncan couldn't stand it anymore. "For the love of crap, Lindsay," he shouted, snatching the branch away from her. "Gimme that before you break it."
"Don't treat it so harshly, it's a living thing," Lindsay exclaimed. She yanked the branch away from him. "You're too rough, Douglas!"
"My name's Duncan, blondie, not Douglas! Who'd get that wrong?"
Douglas and Lindsay started tugging at the stick, and Harold's terrified shout stopped them. "What are you two doing? Are you both idiots?"
He pulled the stick from their hands, and added, "Gosh! It's our required item for the challenge, and you two were about to break it!"
"Can't you behave for one minute?" Leshawna shouted, looking at Duncan.
"Not as long as the nerd is telling me what to do," the punk said, glaring at Harold. "Get something straight, I don't listen to you, Harold."
Harold scoffed and crossed his arms. "Just be a team player, that's all I ask. In the meantime, I'll watch over the stick."
He stood firm to Duncan's glare, but Lindsay looked close to tears. "Oh, please, Harry," she said, clutching his arms and leaning in. "Please let my carry the stick! I want to prove I'm capable!"
"What's wrong, Lindsay?" he asked, looking concerned over her concern on the stick. "No one here has anything against you."
"But I totally blew it last season! I couldn't lead my team, and then I accidentally kicked myself off. I need to prove to you all that I'm good enough to be leader this time!"
Duncan barked out a laugh. "You? Lead? You can't even remember names!"
"I can too, Lunker!"
"Not even close."
Lindsay fretted, looking at her other teammates. "Guys, please? Lequanda? Brianne? CJ?" She bit her bottom lip, facing the nerd again. "Please trust me on this!"
She grabbed his shoulders and hugged herself tight to him. "I can watch over the stick, Harold, please please please!"
Harold looked over at the others, himself feeling sorry for Lindsay but unwilling to make the call. Leshawna shrugged with a slight smile, Bridgette nodded, and DJ gave a thumbs-up. He didn't bother to look at Duncan's reply.
"Okay, Lindsay," he said, gently patting her shoulders. "You can hold the branch."
"Thank you!"
Lindsay's hug doubled into a powerful squeeze, and Harold let out a small squeak. "Please now... you're compressing your organs."
"Oh don't be silly, I'm not working for a newspaper."
Bridgette chuckled lightly, and said to Leshawna, "He's got such heart, Leshawna."
"Please," Duncan said, "he just agreed because she pressed her boobs against that scrawny chest of his."
DJ pat Duncan's shoulder. "Come on, lighten up a little, Duncan. We have a fine season going for us so far, a good team, let's just be a little nicer."
"Okay, but just for you, big guy."
(Airplane Bathroom - No seriously, what's fluffernutter?)
Duncan - "Yeah, I hate my team. But I don't mind DJ, it's impossible to hate that guy. Thus, so long as he's around, and maybe Leshawna just a little, I can try to pretend I'm a little nicer. I'm not going to try for Material Girl Barbie, Malibu Barbie, and the nerd."
Leshawna - "Lindsay's a sweet girl, don't get me wrong. I just wouldn't trust her with something like leadership. Duncan may be right when he said Harold was influenced by her... um, never mind that, but hey. We can trust her with a stick, right?"
Lindsay - *looking really guilty* "I know it's kind of wrong to try anything... but I know boys love it when girls hug them, and I really wanted Harold's support on this! He's a supportive guy, kind of cute too, and..."
*She bites her bottom lip, and looks to the side.* "I... have gathered that he does like boobies. And a big toosh. While I don't have one, I have the others. Please, viewers at home, mom, dad, Paula, Beth, don't judge me! I just have to prove I'm more than a pretty face! I have a mind, and I'm gonna prove it this season!"
Tyler was distracted by Lindsay hugging Harold, long enough for the goat to wander off. When it came by Owen, the big guy smiled.
"Hi there, little guy," he exclaimed, startling the poor goat. It started to scamper off, but Alejandro scooped it up in his arms.
"You have to be more soothing with animals, Owen," he said. "Just be gentle, and... hey!"
The goat had wriggled out of his arms, and bounded off. Owen looked at the goat, then at Alejandro, and asked, "Is it supposed to happen like that, Al?"
Alejandro's eye twitched. "Um, don't call me that."
"Why not, Al?"
"Just don't, man."
"Okay, Al."
As the Latino teen groaned in frustration, their goat had bounded off to Team Amazon. It padded by Sierra, who tried to pet it but it darted off. It hid behind Gwen, who had been standing alone and away from her team. She was surprised to see the creature looking up at her with doe eyes.
"Why hello there," she said as it nuzzled her leg. "My, you don't seem scared of me. Sensing that I used to care for goats at that petting zoo? You know, I didn't have that much fun, I don't like goats much after that..."
"Mm-baa," it replied, nuzzling her stomach.
"... Now that's not fair."
Gwen pat its head, and it bleated happily. Tyler walked up, looking at the scene and letting out a chuckle. "You two seem to bonding quite well-"
He was interrupted when the goat let out a very happy bleat and tackled Tyler, knocking the sporto down again. Gwen gasped, but couldn't help but giggle. "Methinks he wants to get into football, Mr. Jock."
"He can be quarterback," Tyler moaned, chuckling slightly as the goat licked his face more. "He tackles better than I do."
"Modesty? From a jock? That's rare," she said. Tyler merely chuckled, and he helped himself up, keeping the goat next to him. Gwen watched him walk back to his team, and shook her head. "Guess you could find a modest jock if you had all of Canada to search."
"Gwen?"
Cody had approached her, smiling. "We've got a camel awaiting, and I've bargained for you to get shotgun."
"On a camel?"
"The first... umm... the front seat."
(Airplane Bathroom - Do I have to use Wikipedia to look up fluffernutter?)
Tyler - "Hey, I like to brag about my skills in sports, but I wouldn't put anyone down unless they really deserved it, you know? Sports are a team game, every kind of sport is in a way, and thus, always be kind to your teammates. Thus, I'm gonna be a good team player for all my teammates, and a good sport for my opponents!"
Alejandro - "This season should be a breeze for me, since I've got some real gullible teammates. Everything will be cool, so long as they don't call me... Al..." *He groans and shivers.*
Gwen - "I know it's wrong to say you don't like cute creatures like goats, but cleaning up after them takes away their charm. Still, hard to resist when they give you the big, doe eyes, huh? The camel has fond eyes too, and it spit in Heather's face, maybe that's a good sign of things to come. I might even gather up the courage to do something daring this time around."
Ezekiel was watching the teams as they prepared. He rocked on his feet, biting his lip, trying to figure out what he should do. Part of his mind was screaming for him to listen to reason, to pack it in and abandon this hopeless cause. The other part was encouraging him to stay with it, to stick it to Chris and continue with this challenge.
The prairie boy was fiddling with his shades, new toque, and bling necklace, reminding himself what he came on this show for, to prove that he had reformed. That felt like it was slipping away, all useless to prove to nobody anymore.
Then his eyes settled on Bridgette. He had crushed on her since the first season, and watching her during both it and the second season had only enforced it. Though he respected her boyfriend, the prairie boy wanted to be closer to her. If only just to be her friend, to let her know he wasn't all those terrible things she may think he still was.
With a deep breath of dry, desert air, he started to summon his courage. He glanced over at Izzy and Owen, who were busy with their team, and realized he had some kind of encouragement. He was starting to walk over to Team Victory when an air horn blare startled everyone.
"Okay, contestants," Chris said, walking over to the side of the starting line. "Everyone gather up behind this starting line, and get ready to charge to the Nile!"
Team Victory were gathered up behind the line first, Lindsay clutching the stick. Team Chris was next, Tyler holding the happy goat in his arms. Team Amazon was nowhere near, and desperately trying to drag the camel over.
"She won't budge," Courtney wailed.
"She's like a donkey, or something to that effect," Cody declared.
Sierra stomped her foot. "C'mon, camel! You can spit in Heather's face again, we can allow that."
It took the strength of Chef Hatchet, the interns, and all of Team Amazon to pull the camel to the other side of the starting line. There, it stood there, looking like it was content with not moving another step.
"On your marks," Chris Maclean said, holding up a starting pistol, "get set... and GO!"
He fired off a round into the air. Before anyone could seriously go like they've never go'ed before, a pained cry of "QUACK!" startled everyone. A duck fell from the sky, clutching its wing in pain.
DJ and Bridgette screamed in terror, and several of them also reacted with horror. Noah slightly balked, and asked, "What is a duck doing flying in Egypt?"
{Oh, stink bugs, this hurts,} the duck quacked, gripping its wing. {Someone grazed my wing tips!}
"Wow, that was a good shot," Chris said as the duck hopped around in pain, quacking in agony and nursing its burnt wing tips. "Especially since I wasn't looking."
DJ ran towards the duck, but he accidentally punted it when he got close. He screamed again, and gripped his head. "I'm sorry, little ducky," he blubbered.
{Not your fault,} the duck quacked, straining through the pain. {Ducks shouldn't be on the ground, knocked around like a puck!}
Chris grumbled as he watched DJ try to chase down the duck, who hopped around, trying to diminish the pain. "Delayed by a duck of all things," the host grumbled. "I shot him, why don't we just eat him?"
"You mean make duck a la orange?" Chef Hatchet asked. "I have no orange."
"How about cherries? Or almonds?"
While Bridgette and DJ were too busy fretting over the duck, Katie was the one to overhear this. "Wait, you mean you're going to eat that poor little duck?"
"Nom nom," Chris said, grinning sadistically. "Duck goes so well with lobster, I've heard."
The duck froze, and its little eyes widened in horrific realization. {Holy corn on the water, I'm gonna be duck soup!}
With a fearful quack, the duck sprinted off, leaving a dusty, sandy trail behind it. Everyone stared in surprise, and Gwen was the first to say something. "What is up with all the ducks being high-speed sprinters?"
Then the next person to speak out spoke out. "WAIT," Bridgette screamed, running after the duck, "wait, little ducky! You can't fly, and it's desert for miles!"
She was sprinting so fast that her team lost sight of her too, or almost if Harold hadn't charged after her. "Wait, Bridgette," he called out, waving his scrawny arms. "The average temperature of the Egypt desert near the Nile River ranges..."
His voice died with distance, and after scrawny Harold came not-so-scrawny Leshawna and DJ, scrawny-waist Duncan, and Lindsay waving a scrawny stick.
"Wait guys," she called out, "the duck can wait, we need to head to denial! If a duck managed to make it to Egypt, it can probably wind up in denial too!"
The other two teams just stared, and then Heather spoke up. "Hey, did they all leave too early?"
"What are you talking about? I already started off the starting shot," Chris said. "You all can go now, you just don't have to do a suicide sprint across the desert like Generic Granola Girl."
Gwen wrinkled her nose in disgust. "That's rude. What did Bridgette ever do to you?"
"Nothing, and that's why she's a pain. She hasn't done anything interesting since she puked on all you now. Hopefully, if she gets lost out there, they'll vote her off."
The goth girl snarled. "Are you not even going to bother hiding your bias?"
"Nope! People prefer a more honest, blunt, and straightforward host! It worked for Simon Cowell, it'll work here!"
Gwen rolled her eyes. "You disgust me. Amazons, let's get going."
"We would, Gwen," Cody strained to say as he pulled on a leash around the camel's neck, "but our humped buddy... um, wait... no, I mean, spitting buddy... well, she won't move!"
Team Chris walked on, Tyler carrying the goat. He glanced back at the Amazons, and then carried on. The rest of the team were right beside him, with Owen exchanging words with Noah, and Alejandro dealing with an friendly Izzy (who was discussing fluffernutter in great detail now).
"Maybe the goat is motivated by fan service?" Sierra asked. "You all would be surprised what is nowadays."
"It's a girl camel," Courtney scoffed. "We can't use fan service to motivate it to move!"
Heather, on the camel's back, rolled her eyes. "Yeah, the only boy we have here is Cody, and he's about as appealing as... Cody."
Cody looked distraught, then he defiantly huffed out his chest. Then he gripped his shirt by the hem, and tugged it off. "Get a good look, camel girl!"
Sierra took one look at shirtless Cody, and let out a squeal of delight, fanning herself. "Oh wow, this is better than my biggest fantasy within a fantasy of fan fiction," she declared. Then she cast a glare at Gwen, surprising her. "How could you resist that back in the first season? Are you dense?"
Before Gwen could reply to this, the camel started making funny noises. They all looked at the animal, who was staring at Cody. If this were a cartoon (or an animé, or a very cheesy movie), the camel's eyes would have bulged out as hearts.
"You gotta be kidding," Heather groaned.
"If it works, it works," Courtney said, then called out. "Cody, strut your stuff! ... Never thought I'd say that out loud..."
"Yeehaw, I've still got it," Cody cheered, holding his shirt over his shoulder. He started doing his trademark strut, and declared, "The Code-Miester has got animal magnetism! Follow me, camel lady!"
The camel did so, walking happily behind Cody. While Courtney and Heather rode her, Gwen and Sierra and Katie marched alongside. Sierra was watching Cody while giggling, Gwen was shaking her head in disbelief, and Katie followed with a smile on her face.
" 'Atta boy, Cody! Keep on trucking," she cheered. "You do the Amazons proud, as do you, Miss Camel! I think we should call you Ruby, it's a pretty name!"
(Airplane Bathroom - A camel, a duck, and a goat walk into a bar...)
DJ - "I would have run after that duck if Bridgette hadn't. I was just scared he might have been more scared of me since I accidentally kicked him! Oh dear, I know how scary Egyptian mummy curses are... did that mummified dog curse me?"
Heather - "This team is so full of pushovers. The only one to worry about is Gwen, but it seems she has a few enemies already! Oh, how satisfying it would be to throw her from the plane."
Courtney - "Okay, time for me to stop getting upset, and time to break out the diplomat in me. Cody is more useful than I thought, maybe I can convince him to help me. Sierra seems to really dig him, and I just thought of how I can convince her in a way Heather could never: the stories of my relationship with Duncan behind the scenes the last two seasons! Oh... I'm such a sellout, but I want to win this time!"
...
Owen - "Izzy taught me a song on the walk across the desert! It goes a little something like this:
Marshmallow and peanut butter / that makes us fluffernutter
I'm sweet and soft, round and puffy / You're smooth and slick, crunchy and nutty!
Let's make us a fluffernutter / and between us we'll have love to smother!
Noah - *His eye is twitching, shaking his fists.* "They didn't stop singing that... the entire trek across the desert! ARGH!"
(Egypt Desert)
After strutting the desert for about an hour, Cody wasn't strutting anymore. He was sagging over, gasping for air, sweat running down his body. "I cannot strut anymore, ladies," he admitted. "Can I put on my shirt again?"
Sierra was admiring the sweaty Cody too much to hear, but when Katie caught up with him to apply sunscreen to his body, the sweet girl was knocked aside roughly by the wild fan girl. Katie dusted herself off, and then saw a slight tear in her top.
"Oh no, I really like this top," she admitted to the only person nearby her now, Gwen. "It was one of the first ones I've designed."
"You do your own clothes?"
"Yes! Sadie and I design our clothes, we want to open our own line in the future. We can do all kinds of stuff."
"Any... thought on gothic clothing?"
Katie looked Gwen up and down, then grinned. "That could be the most fun! Black is always fun to stitch."
"Careful, Katie," Heather said from up on the camel, "you go the gothic way, you might be labeled as a big emo foundation."
Courtney chuckled slightly at this, trying to look away when she did. Gwen rolled her eyes, and muttered something about, "Emos are not gothic, dumb popular bi-"
Katie clapped her hands loudly, trying to clear the tense atmosphere. "Okay people, let's not get mad-"
They were surprised when Cody let out a startled cry. "Sierra! Why are you sticking your hands into my pockets?"
"Um, sunscreen on your thighs?"
"You can't reach them in my pockets! You'd have to reach into my pants."
A wide grin spread across Sierra's face, which made every girl there think, "She wouldn't."
Team Victory was running across the desert, looking around desperately for Bridgette. Most of them were distraught with the thought of her collapsing from heat stroke, while Duncan was just bitter; he would have complained, but Leshawna and her ear-grasping fingers were nearby.
Lindsay was gasping for air, almost panting, when they stopped for a quick break. She swooned from the heat and almost fell over, but Harold caught her. "You guys," she whined, "I think we passed that cactus before, the one that looks like Lady GaGa in that awful dress?"
"That's all of them," Harold muttered, fanning the swooning blonde. She smiled at him very faintly, then moaned.
"We cannot keep running around like this," she added, "our mascara will melt all the way down to our shoulders!"
"That's not a big worry of mine," Duncan grumbled.
DJ scanned the area. "We have to find Bridgette, guys."
"That's not one of my worries either."
Leshawna raised his fingers, and he leapt away. "Well, what the hell was she thinking, running into the desert for some stupid duck? Darn Malibu Barbie, she's almost as blond as Lindsay!"
Lindsay cocked her head to the side as Leshawna's fingers caught Duncan's ear to give him a lesson. "I don't get it. People usually call me Barbie, so who's Barbie, me or Brenda?"
"Neither of you are Barbie," Leshawna said as she let go of Duncan. "Now c'mon, people, let's find her!"
"We cannot let a mermaid like her be out on these sands," Harold declared, shaking his scrawny fists in the air. "I swear by everything good and holy, Leshawna, we'll find your friend!"
As he said this, there was a loud quack coming over a dune. The five of them ran over to see Bridgette cuddling the gasping, panting duck. "There, there, little duck," she cooed, stroking its back and smoothing out its feathers. "You'll be okay, I promise."
"There you are," her team exclaimed, surprising but delighting her. While Harold, Lindsay, and DJ pulled her in for a big hug, Leshawna was saying, "What on earth were you thinking, girlfriend? Running across the desert for the bird?"
"I couldn't let him be injured out here, it's not his habitat," Bridgette said. "He'd die, for sure!"
"Oh who cares?" Duncan snapped. "He's a duck. There are a billion ducks all over the world, what's one more quacker?"
"I love animals! I just couldn't-"
"Quit it with your bleeding heart, girl," Duncan said, leaping away from Leshawna, covering his hear. "If you had just used your brain when this duck darted off-
Harold leapt in-between the two right as the glares started to intensify. "Alright alright, let's not fight, peace and Kumbuya!"
"Listen, nerd, I don't take orders from you," the punk said as he poked Harold's scrawny chest. "Trust me, if I thought we could ditch useless members, you'd go first over Malibu Barbie. Maybe then, we could be shoving off to the Nile!"
"Why don't you shove off, Duncan?"
It wasn't Harold who had said that, but Bridgette. She and Duncan were right back to glaring at each other when Leshawna stepped in. "Now stop this fighting. Let's get going to the Nile, then we can resolve our differences!"
The sister stepped forward, and looked around. "Now... where is it?"
Harold licked his finger and lifted it up. After a couple seconds, he pointed east and declared, "That way."
"How can you tell, Harold?" Lindsay asked him.
"The air is slightly moist this way, and that could only be the Nile."
"Oh I see! You're so smart!" She huggled him, and then pointed forward with the stick. "To the Nile!"
She marched forward, with DJ, Leshawna, and Duncan right behind her. The punk glared back at Harold and Bridgette before sulkingly looking forward as he trudged ahead.
The nerd took a deep breath, then smiled slightly at Bridgette. "Thanks, Bridgette."
"Hmm? For what?"
"Nothing."
He reached forward and pet the duck's head, who quacked appreciatively. Leshawna looked back at them, and smiled at Harold. "You have a thing with animals there, crazy boy."
"Possum Scouts always have a way with animals," he replied, huffing out his scrawny chest.
(Airplane Bathroom - Lucky ducky. *gets slapped*)
Harold - "It was the right, honorable thing of Bridgette to risk her life for a duck. I would have done the same, but she and DJ are such animal lovers that they put me to shame. Plus, I love bacon too much to switch to full animal lover; bacon makes everything taste better."
Bridgette - "When I first joined this show, it was to spread the love for Mother Nature and serenity for all. Sounds really hippie like, I know, but I wanted to give off positive vibes because TV and such can be so negative. But... when I went back to see most of the confessionals I did and most of the sweet moments we had first season, they had been all edited out. I suspect Chris Maclean!"
Cody - *He is bright red from head to torso, and wincing in pain.* "Seems that the sunscreen they used wasn't strong enough! Oh man, after the challenge was over, I seemed to light up bright red all over. Oh wow, does this hurt!"
Sierra - "Cody Mister is covered in blisters now! My poor Cody needs some kind of medicine... but how do you apply that to someone who screams in pain when you touch him? Unless he's doing that to avoid me..."
*She pauses, then laughs.* "Naw, he wouldn't do that with me!"
"I'm sweet and soft, round and puffy / You're smooth and-"
"Shut up, shut up, shut up," Noah chanted. "That song was cute first time, but the five thousandth time... knock it off, you two!"
Owen looked sad while Izzy pouted. Alejandro secretly let out a sigh of relief, while Tyler and the goat let out more obvious sighs of relief. Then the five of them caught a whiff of something very exciting: wet sand.
"Hark," Izzy exclaimed.
"Huzzah," Alejandro cheered.
"Thank you, oh generous, all-powering being up there," Noah praised, looking up at the sky. "Please keep being generous as I travel across the Nile on a boat with these people."
When they approached the shore, none of them could see any boats on the shore, but they could see Chris Maclean in a reclining chair, sipping from a cold drink. Owen called out to him. "Hey, Maclean buddy! Where are the boats?"
Chris rolled his eyes, then pulled a megaphone out from behind the chair. Turning the volume all the way up, he shouted into it.
"YOU ARE TO CREATE A BOAT OUT OF THE MATERIALS YOU CAN FIND ALONGSIDE THE NILE RIVER," he shouted.
The force of the voice was so powerful that the contestants felt wind and sound waves blowing their hair back; Tyler had to hold onto the panicking goat. "YOU ARE TO CARRY YOUR SPECIAL ITEM ACROSS THE NILE WITH YOU. AND WATCH OUT FOR CROCODILES IN THE NILE. THANK YOU."
Izzy cheered. "This sounds like fun! Well, let's get going on making the boat. Noah, I need to gather materials for boat-making! Do we have any fiberglass around here?"
"Once again, I'll get my unicorn onto that."
"Great!"
Noah face-palmed, while Alejandro glanced at the reeds. "Maybe we could thatch these into a boat?"
"Reeds," the bookworm replied, "are not going to hold up our Chubby Buddy here."
He pat the side of Owen's belly, which jiggled. Izzy giggled and jiggled his big ol' belly too. Owen chuckled, and slapped it too, but this knocked himself over, falling back and hitting his head on a tree.
"Ow," he muttered, just before a coconut hit his head. "Ow to the power of two!"
"Izzy has been struck with a good idea," Izzy exclaimed, running over to the tree. "We hollow out this tree, and make it a boat!"
"Okay, I'd hate to sound like a certain CIT," Noah mused, "but just what is this large palm tree doing on the shore of the Nile River?"
"PRIZE FOR WHOEVER GOT HERE FIRST," Chris' voice boomed across the Nile.
Tyler looked strangely at the palm tree, then around. "So, how are we going to chop down this tree without an ax, or hollow it out?"
"NOT MY PROBLEM!"
"Wasn't talking to you," the sporto retorted. He looked back at his team, and was going to repeat the question when he saw Izzy wielding a hatchet, chopping at the tree. Tyler was surprised for a moment, then asked what everyone was thinking. "Where did you get the hatchet?"
"I keep one under my skirt for just such emergencies," Izzy said as she chopped.
"All the time, or just on the show?"
The redhead giggled. "Oh Tyler, you ask the cutest questions!"
None of them knew what to make of this, and Owen was a little distracted, looking at his new friend, the coconut that had struck him on his head. "Mr. Coconut? Is that really you? Wait, you're a new friend! Coconut Jr.!"
Izzy whacked the tree again, and another coconut fell down, knocking him on the head. "Ow to the power of three," he wailed, then shook it off and picked it up. "Oh hello there! You're Coconut Jr. the Second!"
"What a lovely, expanding family," Tyler remarked.
Owen nodded, then yet another coconut landed on his head. "Ow to the power of four," he exclaimed. "Coconut... Jr. ... the Third? Ehehe... I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts..."
Izzy pat her boyfriend on the shoulder in comfort before going back to chopping. As Team Chris watched and waited, Team Amazon came trotting up to the river. An exhausted and sweaty Cody gasped for air as he collapsed in front of the river. "Thank goodness," he gasped.
"What are we supposed to do?" Gwen asked, looking around. Chris had dozed off in his recliner across the Nile, with Chef trying to rouse him. "And hey, how did he get here before us?"
"Hello, ladies," Alejandro said, approaching them. "We need to make a boat on our own and cross the river with our item."
"Excuse me," Heather snapped, jumping down from the camel, "but we don't need your help! You're on the other team!"
Alejandro blinked, then smiled. "I just wanted to help. My mother always insisted that one should help out a lady in need."
"Oh, so we're a bunch of little girls who cannot do anything without help? You're worse than Ezekiel!"
Heather stomped off, while Alejandro looked confused. Courtney shrugged, and said, "Don't worry, she's always like this. Thank you for the tip, but you better get back to your team."
"Thank you, bonita," he said, winking at Courtney. The CIT's knees felt weak, and she could barely hold back a swoon, but composed herself.
"Okay, we need a way across," she said, shaking off the affectionate shock she had. "Does anyone have an idea on what we're going to do?"
Sierra raised her hand, pointing at the reeds. "I can thatch those into a boat! I have a ton of skill on that, I've been doing it for years!"
She went into a detailed story about where, how, and why she ever got into it, but she was talking so fast that only Katie, who had experience in fast speak, could understand her. Sierra continued to talk until Courtney pat her shoulder.
"All right, all right, we got it. Start thatching the reeds!"
Sierra nodded, and started making the boat. Gwen watched her, trying to follow along and learn, but the fangirl's hands were too fast. So the goth girl said, "Just remember to make it sturdy enough for all of us and a camel."
"Gotcha," she replied, flashing a thumbs-up. While Sierra worked, Heather walked over to Gwen with a stern look on her face.
"Don't go telling Sierra what to do, Weird Goth Girl. You're not the leader, at best, you are a troublemaker. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to gather more reeds for Sierra. Keep at it."
"Gotcha," she replied, flashing another thumbs-up at the departing queen bee.
Gwen saw Courtney looking at her disapprovingly too. She looked away, feeling defeated, and Cody's senses for improving his reputation with Gwen tingled. He walked over to the girls as they gathered among a patch of reeds nearby Sierra's boat in process.
"Look, ladies, I know we've had troubles in the past," he said, smiling at Courtney, Gwen and Katie. Sierra heard the start of his speech, and listened with gusto. "We could stay mad at each other for things that happened in the past, but we all know reality shows don't bring out the best in us.
"There are the issues with arguments with best friends," he motioned to Katie, "incidents with Duncan," he smiled at Courtney and then Gwen, "deals about underwear, and misfortunes with grizzly animals that got us mauled. But you know, setting aside BFFs, boyfriends, bras, and bears, we can still be the best of teammates."
"Practicing your allegories, Cody?" Gwen asked, smiling a little.
"Maybe. But how about a truce between us all? We can be cool."
Gwen and Courtney glanced at each other. The CIT forced not to roll her eyes, then sighed and said, "Okay. For the sake of the team." She offered her hand to Gwen, and she tentatively shook it, smiling slightly. Katie clapped, and Sierra squealed in delight.
"My Cody is a diplomat," Sierra squealed, her hands almost a blur with her thatching. "I'm too busy, one of you hug him for me!" Then she thought how that would mean another girl would hug Cody, and added, "No no, wait! Back off!" Then she realized that this would mean Cody would be without a hug, and sighed. "Alright, one of you hug him. Just don't squeeze in butt in the process."
Katie was confused by the flip-flopping, but shrugged it off and went to hug Cody. She did so with much gusto from Cody, but she caught him glancing at Gwen after the hug was over.
(Airplane Bathroom - With a bathroom's blessing.)
Katie - "While Sadie and I both love our hunks and handsome men, there has always been a difference. Sadie really likes the athletic and tough guys, and I've been partial to the smart guys. But we both did like DJ, and she thought Cody was kind of cute, and..."
*She goes about this stuff for a while...*
Cody - "I have a good feeling about this season! This time around, Gwen has got to pay a little more attention to me, and then she'll finally realize what a catch I can be."
Katie - "Of course, we both liked Shaun in the eighth grade, and though he loved soccer, he was also into sports, and he said I talked too much but he didn't seem too interested in Sadie, which totally didn't make sense to me, and..."
*Quite a long while.*
Izzy - *She is holding all of the coconuts that brained Owen.* "Tasty things, aren't they? I once bit into a coconut, I bet I could penetrate through with my teeth! I did, but I chipped one of them. Not the most fun visit to the dentist."
*She looks down at the coconuts, then the camera, then looks around to see if anyone else is watching. With an impish grin, she shoves two of them down into her top.* "Hey, look at me, everyone!" *She poses with the coconuts protruding lewdly on her chest.* "Who am I, who am I? 'Are you Tyler?' Hee hee hee!"
Izzy managed to chop down the palm tree right when Team Victory came staggering towards the Nile, exhausted and tired. They heard the following exchange:
"TIMBER!"
Crrrrrack... WHAM!
"OWWWW to the power of WOW-HAH-HOWWWWWW!"
Thud.
Izzy dragged her unconscious boyfriend to the side, and handed the hatchet to Alejandro. "I'm really tired now. Could you hollow it out for me, oh strong and handsome man?"
"For you, redheaded chica, anything."
Izzy giggled, and then gasped when Alejandro removed his shirt. All of the girls were staring soon, when Alejandro started to swing the ax, and sweating in the process. Some even openly swooned and gushed over how handsome he was.
This caused some agitation among the boys. "Courtney," Duncan called out, snapping the CIT out of her daze. "Enough with the openmouthed gaping."
"Show off," Tyler grumbled, looking to the side bitterly after he saw Lindsay's fawning look.
"Typical double standard," Noah remarked, rolling his eyes. "A guy looks for two seconds at a girl's chest accidentally, and he's a chauvinistic pervert. But when a man takes his shirt off, girls are allowed to stare for as long and as much as they want. I blame Twilight."
"Just need to buff up a little more, and I can do that," Harold remarked, flexing his scrawny arms and legs.
Izzy continued to watch Alejandro work as she comforted the unconscious Owen; however, soon, the talk of being sexist around the others reminded her of Ezekiel, regretfully. She felt a twinge of worry in that wild and crazy mind of hers.
A plan was set into motion from that twinge. Leaving Noah to watch over unconscious Owen, Izzy started to observe Sierra. Sneaking on her elbows and knees in plain sight of everyone (wonder what the heck she was done), she observed Sierra's thatching skills. Her expansive mind studied the method and manner, and she learned enough from watching. If this was a video game, Izzy would have received a message "You Have Learned A New Skill!"
In fact, that's what was going through her mind, and she said to herself, "Time to level up my new skill!" She ran off to find a patch of reeds, and started thatching a small boat. She even narrated herself as she felt she was properly using the new skill. "Izzy's skill in Thatching has raised to 7. Izzy's skill in Thatching has raised to 8. Izzy's skill in Thatching..."
She wasn't the only one, as Harold was thinking the exact same thing as he thatched a boat for his team. He had proudly told his teammates, especially Leshawna, that he had learned how to do that in Possum Scouts. Duncan had rolled his eyes, but when he saw how quickly and efficiently he was making a boat, even he had to compliment Harold on doing a good job.
Harold took the time to explain to the others how to thatch. The others learned pretty quickly, though Lindsay couldn't get the hang of it. Ashamed, she watched as the rest of the team worked together to make a boat, holding the injured duck for Bridgette.
This combined effort helped Team Victory complete their boat and oars for paddling at the same time Team Chris had completed their log boat and paddles. Team Amazon was ashamed of the fact that they didn't think of having Sierra teaching them.
"Great going, guys," Heather spat at them as the watched the other two teams preparing their boats for the water. "Now we're in last!"
"I didn't see you helping any, Heather," Courtney remarked.
"I was watching the camel, making sure she didn't wander off. Therefore, I did my part. Unlike the rest of you, who let Sierra do all the work."
Sierra was coated in sweat and hands with blisters, but wasn't complaining when she finished after another minute. "Okay, it took a while, I admit, but I had to make it strong enough for six people and a camel."
"It's fine, Sierra," Katie said, patting the fan girl on the shoulder, "win or lose, you did you best."
Sierra chuckled weakly as the team coaxed Ruby the Camel onto the boat, and they pushed off. Miraculously for them, it stayed afloat. Sierra and Katie squealed in delight and began to clap, but the fan girl winced in pain as her hands stung too much to clap.
"Lemme take a look at those," Cody said, taking Sierra's wrists and applying some lotion to them. Sierra was now the happiest girl in Canada.
As the three teams started to row across the river, racing for the other side, Chris Maclean called out to them (he would have used his megaphone, but Chef had enough of being deafened and hid it). "Attention, contestants," the host declared, "I hope you were all aware of the crocodiles in the Nile?"
"Of course," said Harold.
"What what what?" Tyler exclaimed, holding the goat close to him.
"Eeek, big and bad reptiles?" Lindsay cried out, clutching the branch to her chest.
Chris Maclean laughed at their fear, then held up a small, noisemaking device. "See this? This device here emits a sound that drives crocodiles absolutely crazy. If I play it, the crocodiles will go into a frenzy!"
"He wouldn't," DJ whimpered.
"He shouldn't," Alejandro declared.
"Oh he will," Gwen groaned as she face-palmed.
Chris smirked, and shouted out to them again. "All I want is to see your teams fight amongst each other. Get the drama going, and I won't call out the crocodiles."
"Is that all?" Duncan asked, and then he started to smack Harold. The nerd cried out in surprise, then started smacking him back. The others all tried to get them to stop, especially because it was almost a one-sided fight the way Duncan had attacked Harold from behind. The duck seemed a little excited for the fight, quacking for one of them to win it. Lindsay was fearful for a moment, then she cried out and raised the stick.
"Stop hurting Harold, Lunker," Lindsay cried out, and swung the stick down on Duncan's head. It bounced off without him even noticing, slipped out of Lindsay's hands, and in the water. The blonde let out a squeak of terror, but no one else had seen this.
On Team Amazon, Heather and Gwen were already having a furious cat fight, so fierce that they were in danger of tipping the boat over. Courtney and Katie were trying to calm him down, while Sierra clung to Cody in fear of the ferocity.
However, Team Chris had no fighting going on (how ironic). Owen was too peaceful, Noah was too lazy, Alejandro was not going to hurt anyone physically, Tyler was holding onto the goat, and Izzy was not going to any of the handsome men on her team. Chris noticed this, and grinned wickedly.
"You all can blame Team I Am Really Really Really Really Truly Hot," he called out, and then bad hip hop music blared (insert your least favorite music artist here, for viewer appreciation). The crocodiles, even those deep underwater, all started to react. Eyes twitched, large mouths snarled, and scales tilted with fury.
The three teams screamed as the crocodiles swam up to the surface, and started snapping at them. They used their oars, the braver members their fists, and fended off the reptiles as best they could.
"Bad music and large reptiles," Tyler cried out as he held the terrified goat away from the edge, kicking at the crocodiles. "It's like some kind of crocodile rock!"
"It looks like Gwen's family reunion," Heather remarked, earning a smack to the back of the head by Gwen.
DJ screamed in terror as a crocodile snapped at him, and he used his oar to try and push it away, but accidentally jabbed it in the eye. The crocodile wailed in pain, tears coming from his wounded peeper, and DJ felt guilty. "I hurt another animal?" he whimpered. "Am I really cursed?"
The teams continued to fight the angry crocodiles, and Team Victory's boat was munched at several times, breaking it in pieces. When the front was eaten away, Leshawna lost her patience, and grabbed an oar. "Oh no, you didn't," she shouted, and proceeded to bash the tar out of the crocodiles. "I'm gonna turn you all into boots! You messed with the wrong sister!"
Team Amazon almost tipped over again when Ruby the Camel became fearful and started to move about on their boat. Cody managed to calm her down just in time, and as they went back to rowing, Team Chris pulled ahead.
The bad hip hop song Chris was playing died down, and so did the crocodiles' efforts. As the contestants went back to rowing, Ezekiel finally made arrived at the river, panting heavily. He had tied his jacket around his waist again, gasping for air; the home schooled teen may have been fit from helping around his parents' apple and orange farm, but he wasn't ready for treks across the desert. He saw the boats out on the river, and noticed they were all made from reeds or a tree. With no boat on the shore, and no idea how to make one, Ezekiel felt the despair of defeat.
Then something caught his eye, something hidden in the reeds. There was a small boat, made from reeds, complete with a couple small paddles. In it was a little note that said, "Little gift from your friend Izzy. When you see me again, you're gonna have to admit girls can be tough as boys. Love, Izzy."
She had added drawings of smiley faces, hearts, and zombies being shot to death. Regardless of the gory shoot outs, Ezekiel blushed when he looked at the note. He shoved the boat into the water and started to row, when he saw a stick floating by him. He seemed to recall that stick being around somewhere.
On the other side of the river, Team Chris pulled up to the shore first. All of them jumping out with loud cheers, they almost danced with delight. "We're first," Izzy declared, hugging all of her teammates. "Hot damn, we kicked ass and took names!"
Owen was hugging Noah, who begged not to be squeezed to death thank you very much. Alejandro and Tyler exchanged a high-five. As they all celebrated, Team Amazon pulled up next.
"We only made it here second?" Heather complained as she nursed a swollen eye, courtesy of Gwen. "Dang it, you people couldn't row any faster?"
"Oh will you shut up?" Courtney snapped. "We're second, and at this point, even I'll say that's not bad!"
"But we don't get first class! We get the crappy economy class!"
"So what?"
Before Heather began a fight with another contestant, Gwen stepped in-between them, facing Courtney. "Don't, girl," she said to the CIT, "she ain't worth it."
(Airplane Bathroom - Thinking of something clever to say.)
Courtney - "Look, I'm not saying I'm Gwen's friend, far from it. But she is a good deal more tolerable than Heather. Gwen was stuck with her for two seasons, no wonder she would insist Duncan was just a friend, she sure would want one with Heather around!"
Heather - "I'll never get over just how dumb these people can be. They go by emotions, they don't treat it like real competition, they're just... dumb. All I have to do is lead them to victory each time, and hope second place will be the worse. And if we lose, we have Weird Goth Girl and the hopeless BFF to kick off."
Gwen - *face-palming and shaking her head* "Spare me. Just... spare me the drama."
Alejandro - "One thing I've learned is how much more effective honey is over vinager. That's why I'll be doing so much better than Heather. So much better."
Katie and Cody high-fived as they celebrated being second place, and Sierra glomped Cody. Now the back of his head was nuzzled in-between her breasts, and Katie giggled at the sight. As Team Amazon calmed down a little as far as fights and glomping was concerned, Team Victory pulled up.
Leshawna was ragged, scratched up from a lot of crocodile fight. She was still grinning, and said, "Man, I could make a career off of this!" She twirled a broken paddle around and then threw it back in the river. Harold followed her, beaming at the woman of his desires.
Bridgette was trying to comfort DJ, who was still distraught over hitting the crocodile in the eye. Duncan was stretching and discarding a broken paddle himself, and Lindsay was fretting, hoping no one would notice she lost the stick.
"All right then, contestants," Chris said, smiling. "You survived the crocodiles-"
"Jerk," Katie shouted.
"Dickweed," Duncan growled.
"Sadist," Noah grumbled.
"Thank you, thank you," Chris said. The blond intern handed him another bottle water, and took a long swig of it in front of the parched contestants (and the interns, and Chef). "Now," he paused as he looked at Bridgette, holding the little water fowl. "Oh Bridgette, I see you brought me dinner!"
Bridgette held the duck close to her protectively, but the fearful creature wriggled out of her arms and bolted. It sped off, quacking its thanks to Bridgette, disappearing into a nearby oasis.
Chris snapped his fingers, while DJ tried to comfort Bridgette, who still looked distraught over the duck. "Darn, there goes duck for dinner," the host muttered. "Now then, back to the show! If I saw right, Team I Am Oh So Crazy Super Duper Hot came first. I never doubted you guys, ever!"
"Aww, thanks, Chris," Owen said, hugging the host. Chris strained from the powerful hug, and groaned when finally released.
"Thanks, Owen. Now, Team Amazon is second, and Team Victory is last. HA! The ever predictable irony!"
"Murphy's Law," Duncan grumbled. "Damn you, Murphy."
Chris shrugged. "But aside from seats on the plane, that won't matter this time around. Because so long as you have the item you started off with, you are immune from voting. And if everyone has theirs, there is no voting ceremony for Egypt!"
Team Amazon cheered, some of them patting Ruby the Camel's side. Team Chris cheered, and Tyler proudly held up their goat, who bleated happily. Team Victory cheered, and turned to Lindsay.
The blonde saw all eyes on her, and her own baby blues widened in terror. She fretted, looking to the side, chuckling weakly. Then she swallowed, and her bottom lip started to quiver.
"Oh man," Duncan said, narrowing his eyes. "Don't tell me you-"
"I'm sorry," she whimpered pitifully.
Before anyone could say anything else, a happy shriek startled everyone (except the shrieker). Izzy was bouncing up and down, pointing at a small boat on the river.
"The Zeke-man is coming," she cried happily. "He made it after all!"
Chris Maclean's handsome face darkened. "Are you serious?" he grumbled, tightening his fists. "Just what do I have to do to get rid of that stupid poser?"
"Zeke-man," Izzy called out, fishing his notebook out from her cleavage. "I kept your notebook! I still got it for ya, buddy!"
"Gotta admire that determination," Gwen said, smirking. "Though it's a fine line between that and unable to catch a clue, I admire his spirit."
Ezekiel could only hear faint shouts from them from where he was, but he could hear Izzy's voice. He smiled, but that disappeared when he heard Chris' voice.
"Oh, Zeke," the host called out, holding up the sound device. "You wanna know what this does?"
Several of the contestants balked when they saw Chris raise his finger towards the button. "No no no," Bridgette shrieked. "Don't do that, he's all alone!"
"That's not right," Alejandro declared.
Chris ignored them, and Chef held Izzy back. He shouted out at Ezekiel, "You should have quit my show the first time I told you!"
He pressed the button. The annoying hip hop song blared again, much to Ezekiel's confusion. Then the crocodiles attacked, overwhelming his small boat, and bringing him into the water.
Several people screamed in terror at what looked like a live version of a nature program gone horribly wrong. Izzy struggled to escape Chef's grasp, but he was too strong, though his grip was loosening as he watched the splashing in the water.
Chris Maclean laughed. "Oh, that's great. Now send out the rescue team."
"We don't have a rescue team," the intern said, wincing at the terrible sight.
Ezekiel resurfaced, inside a crocodile's mouth, using all of his strength to keep it from closing down on him. As he struggled, he managed to scream out for help.
"Oh gee, Ezekiel, so sorry," Heather called out mockingly. "But as a helpless little girl, I just cannot find the strength to assist you."
"Yoo'r going to hold me to that?" Ezekiel shrieked, his accent amplified by his terror. "That was so long ago!"
"Sorry," she said, quite insincerely and mocking.
"Good girl, you tell him," Chris said, clapping.
"HELP ME, PLEAS-" Ezekiel screamed before the crocodile went underwater, taking him with it.
Chef Hatchet winced. "Aw, Chris man, this ain't right at all."
"We'll edit this out and send it to some nature program gone horribly wrong. Anyway, we finally have that twerp out of our gorgeous hair. Well mine, you're bald."
Chef fumed, and let go of Izzy. The redhead barreled towards the river, and screamed, "I'm coming, Zekey!"
She wasn't alone, as Tyler had given the goat to Alejandro, and ran for the river too. "I'm not," he shouted, "leaving anyone behind! Ever!"
Both of them leapt into the river, and people watched in horror. Soon, they saw brief glimpses of them when someone or something resurfaced: Izzy punching a crocodile in the throat, Ezekiel struggling to keep a croc's mouth open as Tyler punched its head, Izzy wrestling another one of the reptiles, Tyler pounding furiously at something in his grasp, only to find out it was a rather annoyed Izzy.
"Sorry," the sporto apologized to the redhead, then he kicked another crocodile away, sending the creature sprawling. Between Izzy's kung fu and Tyler's strong kicks, the crocodiles eventually backed off.
Izzy and Tyler dragged Ezekiel to shore, the prairie boy shaking in terror, clutching something in his fist. He clung to Izzy, teeth chattering as he whimpered.
"Oh, you saved him," Chris muttered, sounding upset. "Well fine then."
Tyler snarled at the host, rubbing Ezekiel's shoulder. "You had no right to do that to him!"
"He's not even in the contest, and I can do anything I want to," he said, then struck a pose and declared in his best announcer voice, "because I am Chris Maclean!"
Izzy squeezed Ezekiel in her arms as she fired off, "You insufferable, pompous, arrogant, egotistic, fluffernutter-hating, power abusing-"
"Yes, yes, that's nice, Izzy," Chris dismissed her, ignoring the glares from everyone. "Fine display of heroism, but it was all for nothing."
Tyler balked. "What? You mean after all that, you're still not going to let Ezekiel on the show?"
"Yep! Why would I let him just because he almost died horribly? It will give us some serious footage, but face it, no one wants him on the show, everyone says so."
"Who is this 'everyone' you're speaking of?" Bridgette exclaimed. As she spoke, Ezekiel looked over at her, amazed. "We don't hate him, none of us, save Heather, hold a grudge on him anymore."
"Really?" Ezekiel asked, sounding happy despite everything that happened; however, his sapped strength left his voice too weak to be heard by anyone but Izzy and Tyler.
"Why, the 'everyone' is me, of course," Chris said, grinning. "And what I say, goes. Now I think we know which team lost. Now someone get me some more lobster, and we'll be heading off to the voting ceremony tonight."
"I think not."
The person who said that startled everyone: the blond intern. He had his arms crossed, and was glaring at the host. "I think it's time someone taught you a lesson."
...
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To Be Continued. Stay tuned for the dramatic conclusion of Egypt!
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Team Victory - Harold, Leshawna, DJ, Duncan, Lindsay, Bridgette. (Stick?)
Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Hot - Alejandro, Tyler, Owen, Noah, Izzy. (Goat.)
Team Amazon - Katie, Gwen, Courtney, Sierra, Cody, Heather. (Camel.)
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Eliminated - Ezekiel.
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Next Up - The biggest twist in the hist' of the exhibition, total drama!