Ernest paced back and forth through the room. The animals all watched him. They were all seated at long, grey tables with large booklets in front of them.
Ernest paused suddenly, picked up a paper from his desk, and began to read. "There will be no chittering, barking, meowing, mooing, clucking, snorting, bleating, chattering, hissing, purring, chirping, tweeting, quacking, honking, roaring, growling, snarling, or ANY noise whatsoever during the test. If you make any sound once the test has begun, you will be asked to leave. Cheating will not be tolerated and you will be asked to leave. If you are feeling unwell and are unable to finish the test, please notify me so that you will be allowed to leave, and I will destroy your test booklet."
Perry snickered.
Ernest glared at him before continuing. "If you have any questions, concerns or comments, please ask now, as you are not allowed to speak during the test time."
Perry raised his hand.
Ernest sighed. "Yes?"
"How does one go about destroying a test booklet?"
Ernest narrowed his eyes.
"Will you shred it? Or burn it? Or explode it?"
"Any REAL questions?" Ernest asked.
A wombat in the front raised her paw. "Is it better to skip over a question on the test that we don't know the answer to or is it better to guess?"
"No, it's better to destroy your test booklet." Perry said.
"One more snide remark and you will be asked to leave." Ernest snapped. He turned to the wombat. "It's best to guess. All right. You may now turn over your test sheets and begin."
"We are officially celebrating." Perry said, hopping onto Phineas's bed. "Go downstairs and get in the hovercar."
"Did you pass your test?" Phineas asked excitedly, accidentally adding too many drops of a chemical to his beaker in his excitement. The solution made a soft popping noise, and a little wisp of smoke emitted from the beaker. Ferb passed out.
"Um…" Perry looked over at Ferb. "No, I just took it. But I think that calls for celebration. Also, I haven't had breakfast yet. Revive Ferb. We're going to my friend Morey's place. Best bagels. Bagels and doughnuts are the only substantial breakfast foods. Besides Mmm-brand cereal, but this is beyond cereal celebration."
"Yay." Phineas turned to Ferb. "Ferb, why are you asleep? Perry has some exciting news for us."
"I'll get the cold water bucket." Perry said.
"Can't believe Morey's is closed on Wednesdays." Perry said dejectedly, spreading cream cheese on his bagel.
"It's a random day to be closed, too." Phineas said.
"Morey's bagels always come with plenty of cream cheese." Perry said. "And he makes it himself. It's not anything like this single teeny tub of fakey-grossness."
"Grossy-fakeness." Ferb said. "This syrup is all plasticky, too."
"Well, that's it for our celebrating." Perry took one bite of his bagel and put it down. "Let's go somewhere else. Sven's place is always open. He's got good food, and I have my own huge room there."
"So we'll eat and then sit in your room?" Phineas asked.
"My room is awesome. It's got a pool on the balcony, a hot tub, a high-def TV, a super-soft king-size bed that I have to use a stepladder to get into…"
"Ferb and I have a room kind of like that, too." Phineas said. "In our secret clubhouse we built."
"Really? How come I've never seen it?"
"It was such a secret clubhouse that we couldn't remember where we secretly hid it after we left to go eat dinner." Ferb said.
"It was expensive." Phineas said.
"Come on." Perry stood up. "Let's ditch this place and get some real food."
"Looks like Sven is closed on Wednesdays, too." Phineas said.
"Sven is closed for business." Ferb said.
"Ew. You guys." Perry knocked on the automatic door. "Stop it. The O.W.C.A resort is never closed. Not for me, anyways. If I can't grab his attention, I'll just use my key. We'll have to break into the snack bar, but I'm sure Sven will understand."
Sven came running from down the hall. He reached into an ice bucket next to the door and pulled out a key, which he then used to open the automatic doors.
"Per." Sven said. "Good to see you."
He didn't look as happy to see them as Perry had expected. He was shaking a little, and he looked very pale.
"You okay?" Perry asked. "You look kind of stressed."
"The boys…?" Sven pointed.
"Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you. Monogram said it was okay. We've been communicating for almost a couple of years now. But don't let him know it's been longer than he thinks it has. And don't let him know Candace knows. And now Stacy. Basically, the entire neighborhood's gonna find out sooner or later. Anyway, Sven, meet Phineas and Ferb. Phineas and Ferb, meet Sven."
Sven gave them a nod. "Can they understand me?"
"No, their translators only work for me."
"Come on in." Sven moved away from the doorframe. Phineas looked around the lobby in awe. Ferb went over to the fountain and started to drink from it.
Sven locked the automatic door up behind Perry.
"What's with everything being closed on Wednesdays?" Perry asked. "…Seriously, Sven, are you okay? You really don't look good."
"Help yourselves to anything in the snack bar." Sven said. "I'm sorry you just missed breakfast. Spa services are also closed until further notice. Rooms are open… gym's open… the pool's open."
"Glad you mentioned the snack bar. We've gotten so crazy celebrating that we were planning to break in there if you didn't offer. …Sven… something's wrong. Talk to me. I can help you."
Sven sighed. "All right. Not here, though. We'll talk in my room."
Perry turned to the boys. "Guys, the snack bar behind the desk is open. I'll be right back. Ferb, quit drinking from the fountain. You have no idea what animals have stuck their tongues in there. Maybe cats, if you know what I'm saying."
Ferb quickly pulled back from the fountain.
"Come on." Sven grabbed an ice cube from a bucket sitting on the floor and led Perry down the hall.
They passed many doors until they came to a large set of double-doors labeled 197. Sven pulled a key out of his pocket and opened them.
Perry walked in. Sven's room was much bigger than the rest of the rooms at the resort, but it was also emptier and it didn't look like it had been used much. Coolers and bags of ice sat near the fridge. Perry was sure that there was more ice within. The air conditioner was innocently producing a temperature the continent of Antarctica would have envied.
Sven closed the door behind them and locked it carefully.
"So what's up?" Perry asked.
"You may want to sit." Sven rubbed the bridge of his nose.
Perry sat down on the bed.
"I'm so sorry, Per. I didn't want to bring this up because I know it's… very painful for you. And the date coming so close."
Perry frowned.
"I really shouldn't talk to you about this." Sven said. "But then again, maybe I should. We never did really talk about it, and I think that hurt you in the long run. Still… you've been getting better. I can see you're a lot happier, much like your old self."
"Sven. Just tell me."
Sven closed his eyes. "They're onto the arson. They think I did it."
"What arson?"
Sven opened his eyes again. "Danville Farm, Perry. Because I was the only one seen leaving the scene, they think I did it. I tried my best to throw them off track, Per. They asked me what was in the towel I carried out. I told them it was a can of gasoline I found there. I didn't know what else to say, Per. But now they suspect I've done it. I-"
"They think YOU…" Perry squinted. "Mr. I-Hate-Heat… would start a fire on purpose?"
"All signs do point that way." Sven said sadly.
"Wait, I'm confused. Danville Farm was an arson job? I thought that place just burned down."
Sven froze.
"…and… why did you go into a burning building if you're afraid of fire? And what do you mean, 'throw them off track'? Who… who did do it?"
"I shouldn't have said anything." Sven said softly. "I really shouldn't have. Perry… just forget about it, okay?"
"Sven, I can't help you unless you tell me. I am so confused right now."
Sven shook his head.
"I can help you clear your name, Sven." Perry stood up. "Really, I can do this. If… if you're worried about me getting upset because the farm used to be Terrence's home, don't worry. I hate that place. I've always hated it. It wasn't his home, or the home of any of the animals that lived there. As a matter of fact, I'm glad it burned down."
Sven had tears in his eyes.
"Sven…"
"I was so stupid, Per." Sven said. "I didn't get help, and I should have."
"Sven, now you're making even less sense than before. Seriously. I can help you. Just please, shed a little more than a night-light on this situation."
"Never mind the whole thing, Per." Sven shook his head. "I'll deal with it. You just have fun with the boys here… celebrating? Were you celebrating something?"
"Finished my Elite Agent test. Still waiting to hear back. What do you mean, never mind the whole thing?"
"Don't worry about it. Just have fun." Sven gestured toward the door.
"You're making me feel so guilty. You somehow managed to bring me back from the dead when I had hypothermia, you give me a free resort room, free food and refuse to let me pay you for services, and you don't let me help you when you need me to. I'm your friend, Sven. It's time I really started doing something for you instead of all this one-sided stuff."
"…Elite Agent? You applied? That's awesome, Per! You'll finally get that art lair you've been wanting…"
"Quit trying to change the subject."
"Please." Sven said, grabbing Perry's shoulders. Perry flinched from the cold. "If you really want to help me, then please just let me change the subject. We'll celebrate all together. It'll help me forget everything. I'll feel better, I'll see the situation more clearly, I'll figure out how to get out of this. Don't be nervous."
"Cold." Perry said.
Sven released his grip. "Sorry."
"He was acting so weird." Perry said. "Like… like I knew how the fire had happened. It seemed like maybe he really had burned the place down, and he was worried they would find out, and he thought I knew he'd done it and when he realized I didn't he wanted me to forget about it."
"Jump." Ferb said.
Perry turned. Two feet were standing in front of him by the poolside. They leapt into the air, and Ferb splashed down into the water.
"Do you think he really set the fire?" Phineas asked, paddling toward Perry on an inflatable dolphin.
Perry shook his head. "Sven nearly passed out when he accidentally brushed his hand against my coffee mug once. He has a horrible fear of heat. He can't even watch movies with fires in them."
"How did he manage to go in a burning building, then?" Phineas asked.
"I… I don't know. I don't understand why he said he did. I don't think there's any way he could have."
"When did he start being afraid of heat?" Phineas asked. "Since forever?"
"I…" Perry thought back. "Come to think of it… I remember him serving me hot food and sitting by a fire in the lobby once. That was back when we first met… I was three or so. He started doing the ice cube thing and serving me frozen stuff…"
Perry paused.
"When?" Phineas asked.
"…after the farm burned down." Perry said. "It burned down the day after Terrence died… I found out that evening, after it had already been burned. I was already feeling horrible… I had a bad cough and my friend had just died… after I spent hours crying underneath running water… I went to Sven for comfort… and he… gave me ice water… and he kept rubbing an ice cube over his wings… I was so sad I didn't notice it…"
Ferb surfaced and stared at Perry in shock.
Phineas said nothing.
"…before Terrence died… after I last saw him… I was with Sven… helping him load gasoline into his home. He needed it for a road trip or something… it was gone when I came there after the fire… I didn't notice… he… he must have done it. He must have been avenging Terrence… and now they're onto him."