Han had rarely, if ever, been more relieved to see Winter. She quickly organised Jaina and Jacen, helping them to pack a few essential items to take with them to Yavin IV and just as quickly managed to arrange very discrete passage for the Solos.
Despite Han's insistence to the contrary, Winter succeeded in persuading him that the Millennium Falcon, even with a false ID, was simply too recognisable to make the journey at a time when the tragedy was being widely reported. Besides which, Winter had argued, no one would be in a fit state to fly her.
While Han confirmed arrangements with Luke, Winter helped Leia prepare for the journey, emerging from the couple's bedroom at the same time as a drawn-looking Han exited the apartment's secure transmission room.
"How's she doing?" Han asked, nodding toward the bedroom.
"I've seen her look better." Winter replied, acidly. "I've also seen her look worse too. Of course, that was after you left her."
"I didn't leave her." Han shot back. "We merely took some time apart."
"Following the loss of your friend." Winter commented.
"That's right." Han answered, waiting for the verbal stomach punch he knew would be coming.
"Shouldn't you be going then?" She asked. "After all, it is about now that you desert her."
"I didn't desert her!" Han growled and frowned at Winter. "And how could you even think that at a time like this?"
"Perhaps I'm not the one thinking it." Winter replied with a raised eyebrow.
Han looked from Winter toward the bedroom and back again. "I'd never..."
"Then be sure she knows that." Winter told him, sternly. "I'll be back shortly. Her Highness needs some medication for the trip."
Han watched Leia from the doorway as she placed simple clothing items first in her bag, then in his.
He could see her mentally working out if there'd be enough before adding a couple of extra sets of underwear each. He approached her quietly to softly clasp her shoulders from behind.
"I haven't finished." She told him, shrugging from his touch.
"There'll be enough." Han whispered.
"I don't know...I mean, what if one of us wants to stay on?" She queried.
"Leia." Han placed his hands on her shoulders again and gently turned her to face him. "There'll be enough."
She wouldn't meet his gaze he noted, so he instead pulled her to him and rocked her slowly in his arms.
"I know what you're thinking. But this is different to Chewie."
Her arms crept around his back and she hugged herself to him.
"It was me Chewie felt he owed a life debt to." He elaborated. "Then you, Luke, Jaina, Jacen and Anakin after. When he died, I felt it was my burden to carry. No one else's. And I felt I could do that better on my own."
He lowered his head to kiss the top of Leia's. "I was wrong and I have to live with that regret every day." He cupped her face and tilted it up to look at him. "It's not a mistake I intend to ever make again." He told her forcefully.
"I can't go through this alone." Leia said simply, quietly.
"You won't. I promise you." Han assured her. He kissed her forehead. Then the tip of her nose. Then her lips before rubbing her nose with his, their own personal expression of love.
"Come on Princess. Let's go be with our baby boy." He spoke calmly, despite the feelings of emptiness and sorrow forming in the pit of his stomach.
The transport Winter had arranged was just like any other and would easily be lost in the jungle of transports leaving and arriving on Coruscant. Winter saw them off, giving Han a small package and a knowing stare.
"One small drop in a cup of caf. She'll sleep the whole way." Winter told him.
"What is it?" Han asked suspiciously.
"A sedative. It'll give her a little peace before you arrive at Yavin and everything becomes very real and even more painful."
"Is there enough there for all of us?" Han asked, not quite jokingly.
"There's enough there to tranquillise a Bantha." She replied. "I recommend you use it sparingly. You may want to use more after you've seen your child."
"Thank you Winter." He said, with feeling.
"I may not always have seen eye to eye with you Captain. But I wouldn't trade places with you today for anything." She gave him a tepid, if not entirely warm smile and another deep stare. "You take care of her, you hear?"
He graced her with a brief lopsided grin before climbing aboard the transport. Jaina and Jacen were strapped into the seats in front of their parents. Both were unnervingly quiet. Leia smiled weakly as Han slipped into the seat beside her.
"Captain says we'll be under way in a few minutes." She told him.
"You okay?" He asked, gripping her hand. She shrugged her shoulders in response.
"I'll get you some caf." He said, not giving her chance to decline and returning with a mug for each of them.
She accepted it without a word and sipped it slowly.
They were soon on their way and Leia had drunk around half of her caf when it's effects finally started to work. She fought the urge to sleep as hard as she could but eventually she had to give in, curling up on her seat, her head in Han's lap. He watched her sleep until they were above Yavin's 4th moon, home to Luke's Jedi Praxeum, then very gently nudged her awake.
"We here already?" She asked, groggily.
"Soon. I thought you might want to freshen up before we land." He said.
"Do I look that bad?" She queried, as his hand softly caressed her cheek.
He kiss-blew at her as she moved past him to go to the 'fresher. While she was gone, he checked on Jaina and Jacen who had fallen asleep with their heads resting against one another. It made him smile, remembering how they had often slept like that as babies.
"Kids. Hey kids." He gently shook them.
Jaina woke first, rubbing sleep from her eyes. "Did you drug us too?" She asked.
"Are ya gonna snitch on me?" Han questioned.
"Your secret's safe." Jaina smiled. "It's gonna be rough on her isn't it?"
"I'm not expecting it to be easy on any of us!" Han suggested and excused himself to see how the landing preparations were going.
"I was such a bitch to her over Dad and everything." Jaina yawned and stretched.
"Glad you finally realised it!" Jacen mumbled.
"Do me a favour? Will you stick by Dad so I can be there for Mom. I feel like I owe her." She asked.
"It doesn't have to be one or the other you know, we could actually share." He pointed out but caved in under Jaina's scrutiny and sighed his agreement.
"If anyone needs the 'fresher, now would be a good time. We're starting our descent." Han advised as Leia returned to her seat. "Okay honey?"
She smiled, took his hand and brought it to her lips. "Always. So long as I'm with you."
The landing was smooth and Leia could feel her heart and mind racing as they gathered their belongings together. Han offered a gratuity to the pilot who refused, saying it had been his privilege to transport his hero, Han Solo, although he understood the circumstances were not ideal. Han had patted the proud boy on the back and promised to ask for him personally, when they were ready to return. Then he joined the rest of his family as they disembarked their transport to be greeted by Luke.
Leia had been able to hold her emotions in check until Luke embraced her. It was then that she found she was unable to hold them back a moment longer and stood crying in her brother's arms feeling his gentle soothing waves of pure, honest love wash over her. When she eventually managed to straighten she felt calmer, almost refreshed by his touch.
"Sometimes Luke I wish I could bottle that Force stuff of yours, I'd make a fortune!" Han said, clapping his old friend in a man hug.
"Whatever for?" Luke queried and looked from Jaina to Jacen to Leia to Han. "You're already the richest man in the Galaxy."
The words had a profound effect on Han as he watched Luke loop an arm around Leia's waist, chatting to her quietly as he led his sister, niece and nephew through the late afternoon sunshine to his home.
Han followed, Luke's words filling him, heart and soul. Just what was it that defined a man's wealth? The credits in his pocket or the love in his heart. And where did that love come from? His capacity to love others? Or others capacity to love him.
Philosophical debate was not Han's forte so in the absence of any necessity to enter into any discussion at present, he parked that particular conversation piece for later.
Mara was at the homestead to welcome them. She looked more tired than Han remembered but, he reminded himself, they did have a young child keeping them awake nights.
"Our accommodation is limited I'm afraid," Mara apologised. "We have a small guest room for Han and Leia and I thought the twins might share the nursery. I know it's not ideal, but we live a simple life here."
"It's no problem. Honestly. We're just so grateful to you for letting us stay." Leia smiled warmly.
"I wish the circumstances had been better." Luke added. "You hungry? You look hungry. I'm starving and Mara has been cooking all afternoon."
"He's lying. I'm a terrible cook." Mara interrupted. "Luke does all the cooking. Grab a seat, we'll talk and eat at the same time."
Luke caught the glance between Han and Leia.
"You want to see him, don't you?" He asked and shook his head sadly. "Sit. And I'll explain."
They gathered around Luke's small, functional table. Han with his arm draped around Leia's waist, his hand resting in a comforting way at her hip. Jaina sat beside her Mother, Jacen beside his sister, then Mara and Luke seated next to Han.
"There were three couples who went over to the Mining Outpost." Luke explained with a sigh. "We remind them of the dangers but we don't police them. They're young people who want to explore the ever expanding world around them. Some go to study, some just for the peace and solitude. Most are there to make out and whilst we remind them of the potential consequences, we're not about to stop them. They'd just find somewhere else to go and the outpost at least is pretty self contained."
Luke smiled as Mara rose to see to their infant Son who had begun to stir.
"Two couples returned following some kind of cave in. They were shaken but had only minor injuries. The story was patchy to start with, maybe because they were worried what we'd say. Anyway, it appears that one of the students had been constructing a lightsaber. He, or she, was igniting it when it malfunctioned. The resulting explosion brought down the caves." Luke took a breath and a moment to examine his sister and brother-in-law's faces before continuing. "One more person escaped because the other gave his life to save her."
He let his words sink in and heard a slight gasp from Leia.
"Tahiri Veila is being treated for shock. I'm so sorry Han, Leia, we haven't retrieved his body yet, but Anakin died ensuring Tahiri was safe." Luke finished.
Neither Han nor Leia spoke, they were both busy absorbing the news.
"You need help digging him out?" Han suddenly asked, out of the blue.
"No Han." Luke assured him. "We have people on it. We just need to take it slowly so as not to risk any further life. It'll be morning before they can safely reach him."
"Ya hear that honey? We got a bona fide hero in the family." Han turned to Leia.
Leia's eyes met her husband's. She knew he was just trying to lighten the mood. Knew it was his way of trying to maintain a controlled exterior. In the end it was Han who lost that control first, grabbing Leia and pulling her to him as he buried his face into her shoulder and tried to fight back his tears. Leia held onto him tightly. Better this than getting drunk! She thought to herself.
Luke took the opportunity to slip away from the table and locate his wife, gently rocking Ben in her arms.
"He's fine. Just a little gas I think." Mara smiled. "How are the Solos doing?"
Luke's expression said it all.
"I know. There are no words." Mara said and sighed. "I can't begin to imagine..."
"They're strong. They'll get through this. In time." He told her and caressed his Son's downy hair lovingly.
Ben Skywalker purred at his father's touch.
"It's clear to see which one of us he favours!" Mara grumbled.
"You didn't see the diaper he favoured me with this morning." Luke pointed out.
From the nursery doorway, Leia cleared her throat.
"I hope you don't mind, Han's taking our things into the guest room and wonders if you need a hand moving anything around for Ben?" She asked.
"We have everything sorted." Luke moved to embrace his sister.
"Please don't." Leia stepped back. "I'm holding it together the best way I can and if you hug me, I'll just lose it again."
"He was your son Leia. So what if you lose it?" Luke queried.
"Well, I have another son and a daughter who need me to be strong for them right now. Not to mention a husband. So please, let me do this my way. Okay?" Her breathing was deep, steady, measured.
Luke gave her hand a quick squeeze and nodded his understanding.
"We were going to eat." He said with a gentle smile.
"It was quite a tiring journey. If you don't mind, we'd all just like to lie down." Leia lied.
The truth was, Han was a proud man who had just broken down in tears in front of his wife, children and best friend. Leia intended to ensure he didn't have to feel embarrassed in front of them also.
"Sure. Whatever you feel is best. It was nothing fancy, just some soup. We'll keep some in the warmer by the stove if you're hungry later. Just help yourselves." Luke said.
Leia's smile was warm but her eyes were sadder than he had ever seen them before. She had endured her share of loss over the years but it seemed to Luke, that right now life and loss were testing her and Han to their very limit.
Mara and Luke returned to their small living space and let the Solo twins make themselves comfortable in their son's nursery. They'd set up two cots, apologising once again that it was all they had, before the left the twins in peace.
The door to the guest room was closed but Luke could easily sense the pain and desperation within. As well as hear his brother-in-law's soft whimpers and his sister's soothing tone.
"They'll be fine." Luke assured himself as much as Mara.
The guest room was small and dark and reminded Leia of the sleeping accommodation on the Falcon. It was homely, with none of the trappings of state the apartment she and Han had purchased on Coruscant.
Leia had smoothed Han's always errant hair and held him to her breasts until his sobs had abated and he'd finally fallen asleep. Lying now beside him, even in this light, she could see the puffy-eyed evidence of his tears and wished with all her heart she could take away his sorrow.
It had been Han who had initiated so much between them over the years she realised.
He, who had kissed her first.
He, who had taken the initiative when it came to their marriage. Even if at the time, initiative was not a word she had associated with his actions.
He, who had settled so well into married life and wanted more by starting a family.
He, who through every twist and turn and every moment of anxiety in her life had been her rock; her saviour.
She smiled to herself at that thought and tried once more to persuade a lock of hair away from his face before resting her head against his shoulder.
"I love you Han Solo." She whispered. And closed her eyes, a smile on her lips as she heard him breath "I know" in response.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Morning brought the news they had been waiting for, expecting and dreading, in equal measures. Anakin's body had been retrieved and was awaiting formal identification in the Jedi Temple.
Han had offered to go alone. Leia had been grateful, but politely declined the offer. So they had gone together, all of them, as a family and confirmed that the boy was indeed their son, Anakin Solo.
They had stayed with him, each consumed by their own thoughts and cherished memories, until they felt they had cried enough tears and mourned enough for now. They left Anakin under an Honour Guard and returned to the Skywalker homestead where Luke brewed stim tea and strong caf and hunted for something stronger still for Han.
"So, what happens now?" Han asked.
"That decision is yours to make." Luke passed him a bottle of beer that looked about a hundred years old. "You can repatriate him for burial on Coruscant if that's what you would like. Or I'd be honoured to perform a Jedi Funeral here if you would prefer."
"Here." Jaina spoke up as all eyes turned on her. "Anakin was the closest of us to be at one with the Force. Well, with the exception of Uncle Luke of course. I think this is where he would be most at peace."
"Heck of a flight to come pay your respects though!" Han commented.
"Jaina's right." Leia said. "Here feels right."
"Here." Han stated, dubiously.
"You don't think he belongs here?" Leia asked.
"Honey I'll support whatever decision you make, you know that. I'm just saying once it's done, it's done. There's no going back." He explained.
Leia considered his words. She and Han had made Coruscant their home. Jaina, Jacen and Anakin had been born on the planet and if asked would have called it home too.
"No." Leia responded, and repeated. "Here feels right."
"Yeah." Han smiled, after his own careful consideration. "You know what, it does. So, when?"
Leia turned to Luke for advice.
"As soon as arrangements can be made for your guests to arrive. We have limited storage facilities here and no mortuary. Not as such at least." Luke told them.
"I should speak to Mon Mothma." Leia spoke her thoughts out loud. "She'll know what to do and make arrangements at her end."
"No!" Han barked.
"Han?" Leia questioned.
"Family and close friends only." He scowled.
"They'd be here to support me." Leia insisted.
"I'm here to support you." Han stabbed his chest with his thumb.
"Mon Mothma would want to be here. Rieekan too, if his health permits." Leia reminded him.
"Fine." He agreed, reluctantly. "But I won't have our son's death turn into a political broadcast or a media frenzy."
"I'll be sure to make them aware of that." She assured him quietly, gently squeezing his wrist and fearing he was starting to lose control again.
"What about his friends. Jaina? Jacen?" Luke asked, hoping to diffuse the tension.
"I think they're here already." Jaina answered.
"What about Tahiri?" Jacen queried. "Should we wait until she's well, she ought to be there."
"If it's okay..." Jaina ventured. "I'd like to ask Jagged Fel. Assuming he can get permission to come."
"Anybody else?" Han asked between gritted teeth.
"Winter. She was more of a mother to Anakin than I was when he was small." Leia said.
"I need a drink." Han stated. "And, no offence kid, I don't mean that squib-pee you imbibe!"
"Must I remind you, we are guests in this house Han." Leia pointed out.
"Must I remind you we're here because he couldn't look after the son we trusted to his care." Han retorted, angrily jabbing a finger in Luke's direction.
Jaina and Jacen exchanged anxious glances.
"This is not Luke's fault." Leia reasoned.
"Then who's is it? Huh? Because it sure as Hell is somebody's!" Han rose and thundered away to the bedroom.
Leia could hear Han grumbling to himself and taking out his fury on the walls and furniture. Luke laid a comforting hand on Leia's shoulder.
"I'm sorry Luke." She started.
"There's nothing to apologise for. It's an emotional time." Luke leaned over to kiss her cheek and whisper. "Go to him Leia. He needs your strength."
Leia remained still for a moment, then turned a soft smile on her children.
"Speak with Winter. Explain your father's wishes and ask her, from me, to see that they are carried out." She told them and planted a kiss on each of their foreheads before following in her husband's footsteps. She paused in the bedroom doorway and watched Han, sitting on the bed, his head in his hands, spitting every foul Corellian cuss Leia had heard before and a few new to her.
"Have you finished?" She asked, closing the door behind her.
"I'm not apologising!" He told her, looking up.
"I'm not asking you to." She said.
"I never even wanted him to come here in the first place." He poked his finger toward her. "That was your doing."
"So, this is my fault." She stated, flatly. "Okay. Let's go back a little farther in time to when I wasn't so keen on having children and you talked me into it."
"So, what, I'm to blame!" He thundered.
"No Han. Of course not. Neither am I. And neither is Luke." She approached him slowly. "That's why they call it an accident."
"Why is this happening to us?" He asked, his voice faint. "First Chewie. Then everything that happened to you. Now Anakin. What have we done to deserve this happening to us?"
"I wish I knew." She halted between his open legs and lay her hands against his jaw, thumbs softly stroking his cheeks.
His arms circled her waist and he let her once again guide his head to her breasts, hearing the beat of her heart. They stayed like that for several minutes with Leia stroking his hair and shoulders with her hands and his soul with the Force. Not that he would admit out loud to feeling the sensation.
A rap on the door interrupted them and Jacen appeared, flushed and turned his back to them, drawing an invisible picture on the wall with his thumbnail.
"Ah...sorry...er...Jaina's talking to Winter and she wants to know when to get here." He stammered.
"Tell her day after tomorrow. That should be enough time." Leia partly told Jacen and partly queried with Han, who shrugged his shoulder in a 'probably' gesture.
"Okay. And...er...sorry...again." Jacen mumbled as he went, closing the door behind him.
Han gave Leia his lopsided smile. "You sure he's mine?" He asked, jokingly.
"You were there flyboy!" She smiled back. "How would you feel about going for a walk?"
"A walk? Where?" Han asked surprised.
"Just out. Get some fresh air." Leia shrugged.
Han pushed grudgingly to his feet.
"I'll go apologise to Luke." He sighed.
"And I'll make sure the kids are okay." She stood on tiptoe to kiss him lightly on the cheek.
Han's apology was heartfelt and full of contrition. Although Luke insisted he needn't apologise Han did so again, to Mara as well, for good measure. Leia assured herself that her two remaining children were all right and coping before saying she was going to take their father for a little 'cool off time'. Both agreed that was a good idea and hugged her tightly. Now was not a good time for her to be leaving them, even if it was only for an hour or so. But she could only play with the cards she was dealt and right now, getting Han back in shape was her first priority.
They walked, hand in hand and in silence, for a little over half an hour. Leia remembered Yavin IV from when it had been the rebel base half a lifetime ago. Han had only really seen it briefly, but Leia was aware it could be as dangerous as it was beautiful and picked her route carefully before settling in a clearing and patting the earth beside her. Han, reluctantly it seemed to Leia, sat and grabbed a handful of grass to twist and turn in his fists.
"You remember when I found out I was pregnant with Anakin?" She asked him quietly.
Han just continued worrying the blades of grass in his hands.
"I was so mad at you." She continued.
"Me?" Han asked, defensively.
"Yes you! The twins were barely six months, I'd just about gotten my waist back and it felt like my nipples were never going to not have a child suckling off one of them!"
"You were the one who didn't want an implant right away." Han reminded her.
"You were the one who insisted he could withdraw!" She countered.
They sat in silence a moment as a grin spread across Han's features.
"Guess I got that one wrong." He laughed.
"Oh, you think!" She arched her eyebrow at him. "Three children, all under two! If it hadn't been for Winter and Threepio I don't know what I would have done."
"Say, I haven't seen Threepio." Han puzzled. "You think he's managed to piss the kid off so much he's deactivated him?"
"Stop changing the subject." Leia chided. "I was telling you how mad I was with you."
Han looked sheepish. "I did apologise." He mumbled tossing the grass aside and lying back.
"Yes you did." She replied softly. "But even if you hadn't, I couldn't have loved him more."
"He sure was a cuddly little fella." Han reminisced, his hand brushing her hip and resting against her buttock. "Remember when he was born?"
"Do I ever!" Leia rolled her eyes. "I swore than I'd get an implant before the cord was even cut!"
She eyed him indulgently. "Or get you chopped."
"And ruin what is an otherwise perfectly formed specimen of manhood!" He exclaimed.
"It wasn't your manhood I was thinking of. Just it's inner workings." She giggled and lay beside him, propped on one elbow. "I wouldn't want to deprive the Galaxy of something that was capable of giving so much pleasure."
Smiling she rolled into his embrace, her head soft against his chest, an arm casually pressed to his torso. His hand moved up to draw lazy circles on her upper arm.
"Glad we're in agreement there." He grinned, before turning sombre. "You know, if it had been me I'd want you to move on."
"Move on? You mean, meet someone else?" She asked.
"Yeah. I mean meet someone else." He told her, rubbing her upper arm. "Someone nice. Someone good to you. Someone to make you happy, make you laugh. Not let you get your own way all the time. Someone to have lots of sex with. I mean, it took me a while to break you in and I wouldn't want all my patient teachings to go wasted."
"I can't believe you just said that!" She said with amazement.
"I can't believe you didn't say you'd want me to move on if it was you!" He countered, equally amazed.
They lay, quietly, for some time before Han broke the silence again.
"We're gonna get through this, you know." He said confidently. "All of us. Together. We're gonna get through this."
"All of us? Together?" She queried.
"I know what you're thinkin' honey." Han sighed. "There's a couple of kids missing from this 'all of us' scene."
"Actually I was wondering if Wedge was still available." She smiled to herself.
"Wedge? Wedge Antilles! But you're cousins!"
"In Royal Houses, cousins are often matched together." She enlightened him.
"No cousins." He growled, cuddling her to him. "And no ex-suitors either."
"Okay." She agreed with a wry smile. "No Wedge. And no Isolder. For now, I'll just settle for you nerfherder."
Han could have stayed right where he was forever. Except, he had made the point himself, there were two of their children who needed both of their parents to be there for them now more than ever. They made their way back, hand in hand as they had on their way out. At the homestead, Han held his arms wide for his daughter to slip into his embrace and he hugged her tenderly.
"How's my little Princess doing?" He asked, kissing the top of her head.
"I'm fine Daddy." She confirmed, holding him tightly.
"And my number one son? You okay, Jace?" He queried.
"All good Dad." He smiled up at his father.
"I talked to Winter." Jaina told her mother. "She's going to organise everything."
"There are rumours all across the New Republic. Ranging from 100 casualties and 10 fatalities to 1000 casualties and 100 fatalities." Jacen advised.
"So, I told Winter what happened." Jaina said. "She asked if she should issue a statement on behalf of the family. I said 'yes', I hope that's all right."
"The holonet will be all over it!" Han sighed. "But you did right. At least they won't be bothering the families of other kids at the Praxeum."
"Don't count on it." Luke told them. "I've been contacted by just about every press organisation asking for confirmation of everything from Anakin's accidental demise to his murder!"
"Winter knows how to handle this. She'll set the record straight." Leia said, thinking.
"She's gonna bring some things, clothes and stuff. She didn't know what you'd want to wear, but she said she'd bring a selection." Jaina looked up at her father. "Dress uniform for you too."
"She better keep out of my knicker-drawer!" He grumbled.
Jaina and Jacen glanced at one another and Jaina pulled free from her father's arms. "Don't freak!" She told her parents.
"Why do those two words fill me with dread?" Han asked.
"I asked her to bring my stuff too." Jaina said. "I'm gonna stay when you guys go back to Coruscant."
Han looked directly at Luke.
"Hey! This was Jaina's decision, nothing to to with me." Luke held up his hands defensively.
"We talked about me coming to the Praxeum." Jaina continued.
"That was before." Han turned back to look at her.
"And I think it would be a good way to honour Anakin." She finished.
"You're sure this is what you want? You're not doing this to hide from anything or anybody are you?" Leia asked.
"I'm more than sure." Jaina said confidently.
"Well...then..." Han scratched the back of his neck, the way he did when he was struggling to form his words. "If you're sure...I mean, really sure. If this is what you want, then I guess it's what your Mom and I want too."
"Ohhh, you're the best!" Jaina grinned from ear to ear and flew into her parents combined arms to hug them.
Han hated the idea of losing his daughter to the Praxeum. But he hated more the idea of losing his daughter by trying to deny her wishes. He settled for holding her, along with her mother, for whatever time it was they all still had together.
"We thought we might go and see Tahiri, if that's okay?" Jacen said, interrupting them.
"I think that would be a very good idea." Leia smiled. "Your father, Uncle and I have some things to talk about for Anakin."
Jaina and Jacen headed over to the small medical facility, where Tahiri Veila continued to rest. On seeing them, she turned away and curled into a ball in her chair. The Solo twins exchanged worried glances.
"Please go away." Tahiri finally said, repeating what she had said to each of their earlier attempts at conversation with her.
"We just thought it might be a comfort to you." Jaina offered.
"I said. Go. Away!" Tahiri repeated.
"A few words. That's all. Just to say how much he meant to you. How much you'll miss him maybe." Jacen suggested.
"Are you stupid or something?" Tahiri uncurled herself and glared menacingly at him. "Don't you get it? Don't you understand?"
"You're hurting. Of course, we understand." Jaina reached out to lay her hand on Tahiri's arm. Just as quickly, Jaina pulled her hand back sensing something dark and malevolent.
"No. You don't." Tahiri's eyes burned like fire. "It was me. It was all me!"
The air seemed to crackle with electricity and Tahiri rose, seemingly right off her feet.
"It was my lightsaber that ignited. It was my lightsaber that exploded. It was my lightsaber that killed Anakin." Her voice was a snarl. "It was ME!"
In the next moment, with Jaina and Jacen watching in astonishment, she stormed from the room.
"Did she just say..." Jacen started, breathing heavily as Jaina nodded at him.
"Listen to me." Jaina grabbed Jacen's upper arm. "Mom and Dad must never know what Tahiri just said. Do you understand? Not ever!"
"It was still just an accident though." Jacen said. "Wasn't it?"
"I don't know Jace, the way she looked..." Jaina inhaled deeply. "We keep it to ourselves. Agreed?"
"Agreed." Jacen confirmed.
"This is important Jace. It would break their hearts if they knew." Jaina insisted.
"I said okay!" Jacen grumbled. "I just don't get what it is you think you see."
"I don't know either." Jaina sighed and rubbed at a worry line on her forehead. "I just feel like we're at the start of something. Something real big."