Aftermath

by Covert Affairs Intelligence

this is a repost of the full story. its a great story and im happy to share it. it has come to my attention that the author has requested i repost it, or at least i think the writer would like me to, as they review the other post i made referring to this story.

3. Chapter 3

Gmail Kait lin collabkk

Fwd: Chapter 16-end

Nurul Hanifah misscarefree13 Wed, Jun 3, 2015 at 2:10 AM

To: Kaitlin collabkk

Chapter 16

Sliding the key into the lock of the door labeled 307 Annie un-hinged the locks mechanisms with a flip of her wrist. Pushing the door open she looked into the pre-furnished one bedroom apartment, analyzing what she could see of the floor-plan from the doorway.

Joan was standing behind the young, apprehensive blonde holding a suitcase in her right hand and her own car keys in her left. "Annie?" Joan cautiously addressed the girl ahead of her frozen in her place and waited for a response. Receiving none she went on, "Annie we can't move you into the hallway." A flurry of blonde hair whipped around to reveal two wide brown eyes, "True. Sorry." Annie let out an awkward chuckle and stepped through the small foyer. The cracked white door on her left revealed the bathroom. A glance to the right and she found the small kitchen. Looking ahead she entered the living-dining area with light hardwood flooring. Straight ahead of her was a large window giving her a view of the city. There was a small gas fireplace against the wall to the right of the window. To her immediate right was a small dining set. A tall table with two bar-stools. A glass door in the far left corner of the room opposite to where she stood led to a private patio. Annie reached for the door on her left which swung-open revealing the master bedroom which also had a glass door leading to the patio on the far wall. On the left was a short door-filled hallway leading to the bathroom.

The sound of Joan dropping her keys onto the dining table broke her muse. Turning she met Joans eyes.

Joan cocked her head to one side and gave Annie a half-dimpled grin, "It's a nice place."

Nodding Annie forced a smile and threw her hair to one side, "It is." She sighed, "We should go get the rest of the boxes."

The Campbells Land-Rover was stuffed to the roof with boxes of things from Annies apartment that had been hidden away in a storage container since Danielle sold the house. After emptying the vehicle once the two blondes sat in the car to drive across town to get the rest of Annies things from the CIA storage facility. They were escorted to the basement where the room containing Annies belongings was. They found Calder waiting for them just outside the door.

Joan gave him a suspicious glare but smiled politely and greeted him lightly, "Calder."

"Joan." He responded with a genuine smile.

Annie stood back in silence and observed the interaction between her boss and former boss.

"I figured you two could use an extra set of hands." He commented in his gruff, cocky tone.

Joan gave Annie a sideways glance featuring her raised brow.

Getting the hint, Annie opened her mouth, "Thanks Calder."

He opened the door to the room and held it for the two blondes to enter. "Least I can do since I am the one who raided your apartment." Joan didn't turn to let Calder see her reaction but Annie could see her roll her eyes out of the corner of her own. Calder went on, "How do you like your new place?"

Annie turned to face him, "The view is incredible. It is a great spot."

Crossing his arms he spoke in a lofty tone, "It is isn't it."

Having used the past moments to survey the contents of the room and come up with a game-plan Joan took a deep breath and turned to face the two other operatives in the room, "Okay if you two are done chit-chatting, we have some work to do." She gave the two startled eyes that turned to face her a cheeky grin and went on giving orders, "Calder the wardrobe boxes are the heaviest, you can get those. Annie this pile over here, contains books and the contents of your desk, you get those." She motioned to the pile to her left before turning to the small pile behind her, "…kitchen supplies and miscellaneous, I've got." She turned back to face Calder and Annie, "Two trips a piece should do it." She nodded and intensified her tone, "Get to it."

About an hour later the last box had cleared security and been loaded into the back of the black Land Rover. Calder slammed the trunk shut and planted his hands on his hips. "You two got it from here?"

Annie nodded, "We do. Thanks for your help Calder."

"Great. Walker, I will see you Thursday." Annie nodded and turned to walk to the front of the car. Pausing when she heard Calder request Joans attention but continuing when she realized the pending conversation was not meant for her ears. Annie slammed the passenger door and attempted to hear what was being said nonetheless. Failing at hearing their low voices, she attempted to see what was going on using the rear-view mirror but the boxes obstructed her view. Looking in both side mirrors all she could see was the back of Calders head. He and Joan had moved so they were out of her line of sight. Annie bit the inside of her lip and sat back impatiently. A few minutes later Calder turned and re-entered Langley and Joan slid into the drivers seat.

Not offering an explanation Joan started the car and began driving towards Annies M-Street apartment. Annie got fidgety as her curiosity grew. Joan noticed.

She glanced over at Annie, "Something on your mind?"

Annie scoffed, "Yeah, what were you and Calder talking about?"

Joan let out a deep sigh, "He read me in on a situation in Nairobi."

"They need information from one of your old assets?"

"No, he wanted my opinion on how they were planning on approaching the issue." Her brow furrowed, "I know we will end up competing for the DCS position but I do not understand why he insists on reading me in on all of this…" She shrugged, "Not that I'm complaining…."

Annie bit her lip and turned to face the road. "This office…the office of the DCS, you aren't taking ownership of the position…" Annie replayed their conversation from earlier that week and pondered the possible meanings. Calder was an ambitious man. A man with a career plan. She knew he wanted the position he was in and Joan was right, the way he kept reading her in on everything and copying her to every memo went against his nature. They were trained to work as a team but to also out-perform each other. His actions were making it harder for him to out-perform Joan.

While Annie un-packed her massive wardrobe and moved her clothes and shoe collection into her walk-in closet, Joan focused on un-packing the kitchen, which, due to Annies small collection of cooking supplies, didn't take long. Finishing she planted her hands on either side of the sink and scanned the apartment. The kitchen had only a half wall on one side making it open to living area. A white couch sat in the middle of the room. There was a coffee table between the couch and the wall containing shelves climbing half-way up and a television set atop of them. Past the shelves was the small fireplace protruding from the wall. A grey arm-chair sat back to the window beside the fireplace. Realizing it was already getting dark outside Joan walked around the counter to check her phone sitting on top of the dining table. 18:18. Opening the text from Arthur she found a photo of her son on his stomach holding up his head and a short message, What time will you be home? Joan smiled and typed a quick reply, Not sure. Almost done, I'll text you when I leave. Seeing the boxes of books Joan abandoned her cell phone on the table and moved to sit on the edge of the coffee table and began un-loading the mix of hard-back and paper-back books onto the shelves.

They had worked in comfortable silence throughout the day. Joan, not wanting to push Annie and Annie not sure what to do about her boss going through everything she owned.

After hanging the last blouse, Annie broke down the cardboard boxes and added them to the pile against the wall in the living room before going to sit on the couch behind Joan.

Her former boss didn't pause in her task but spoke in a low tone to the blonde operative behind her, "Found a place to put a safe?"

Annie nodded, "The wall in the bedroom by the patio door backs into the hollow column on the exterior of the building that cuts through the patio. I'll drill in there later and place the safe behind the painting."

Joans mind flashed back to Seths safe, behind the painting over his mantle and the code that opened it. It wasn't his birthday, wasn't the code he filed with the agency, it was the two digit month and two digit day of their first date. As much as Auggie tried to keep her from having too, cleaning up his place gave her time to sort through her anger, disappointment and grief. Gave her time to process the memories in light of his betrayal. Taking a deep breath she pushed the grief into the back of her mind where it belonged and placed the last book on the shelf before standing and moving to sit on the couch beside Annie. "Sounds like as good a spot as any."

Annie nodded and looked down at her hands.

"You're gonna need to get groceries and cooking supplies. Did Calder re-open a bank account for you or do you need some cash."

Meeting her bosses eyes Annie tucked a leg under her and settled into the couch, "No, he had my old accounts re-opened. The cards and information were in the envelope with the apartment key and information about my NOC."

"Do you need Arthur and I to bring a car over and leave it with you?"

Annie shook her head, "No, I only go into Langley twice a week for therapy. They will send a shuttle. I can take the metro to the National Archives building. When I died, the CIA impounded my car. Calder is working on tracking it down or getting me a replacement. Until then I will make due." She reached for her purse that was on the floor behind the couch and fished out the Campbells spare key. Extending her arm she held it out and waited for Joan to take it, "Here, I won't need this anymore."

Joan nodded and took the key into her fist, "No, I suppose you won't…" She sad up straight and put on her I'm-the-boss face and tone before continuing her statement, "…but Annie, Arthur and I are a phone call away and I want you, I expect you to call if you need anything and to let me know how you're doing. If you don't check in with me, I will show up here. Okay?"

Half-heartedly Annie rolled her eyes, "I would expect nothing less."

"Mhmm." Joan raised her chin and narrowed her eyes as she examined the operative sitting across from her.

Feeling Joans inquisitive glare, Annie let out a sigh mixed with a groan, "What?"

"Are you gonna be okay on your own?"

Annie ran a hand through her hair then set her elbow on the back of the couch, "Yes. I lived by myself for months while I was dark. I know how to keep house and take care of myself."

Joan nodded, "Jessica Matthews lived by herself in isolation. Like you told me earlier, Annie Walker never really has."

"Afraid I'm going to have a break-down or something?"

"No, I just worry about you being isolated." Joan stood and looked down at Annie, "But, you have come a long way over the past month and I know you can handle this adjustment."

Annie stood to open the front door as Joan pulled on her coat and grabbed her phone and keys. Giving her blonde boss a reassuring nod as she held the door open, "I'll be fine Joan."

The blonde woman nodded and pulled Annie into a quick hug before stepping into the hallway, "I know you will." She slowly turned to face Annie once more, "And, uh…if you get lonely you can always invite Auggie over." She spoke in a sly tone with a mischievous grin on her face.

Annie rolled her eyes, "Goodnight Joan." As she closed the door she heard Joan bid her goodnight as she walked down the hall. Annie locked the door and leaned her back against it surveying the empty apartment. It was then she realized just how much of an adjustment this was going to be.

Joan walked into the house to find her son in his bouncer in the living-room crying his eyes out and her husband bent over as he reached into the back of the fridge. He hadn't heard her enter so Joan closed the front-door as quietly as she could and moved stealthily into the living room to tend to her wailing son. "Hey sweet man." She whispered. McKenzie, realizing his mother was home, silenced his crying and began reaching for her and making sucking sounds. The sudden silence caught Arthurs full attention. He closed the fridge and entered the room with a bottle. "Well hey." He couldn't veil his surprise as he walked across the room and kissed Joans forehead.

"Someone is hungry." She said as she began breast-feeding her son.

Arthur chuckled, "You never texted me to tell me you were on your way home."

Still looking down at her son Joan apologized. Arthur went to the kitchen and returned the bottle to he fridge. "Want me to warm something up for you?"

"No, Annie and I had a late lunch. But I could use a glass of water."

A few minutes later Arthur re-entered the room with a sandwich for himself and a glass of water for his wife. "I'm going to go respond to a few emails." He said as he handed Joan the glass. She nodded in acknowledgement and watched him walk away. Letting out a sigh she set the glass on the end table beside her and looked down at her son. While she sat in silence, she pondered how to approach Arthur about her thoughts concerning his new position. She had faked happiness for him since he made the announcement at dinner the night before but Joan knew, from their past experiences, that no matter how hard it was she needed to find words and communicate with the man. McKenzie finished eating and stretched sleepily in his mothers arms. She grinned down at him, "Daddy wore you out today huh?"

Carrying him up to the nursery she put him in his pajamas. She could hear Arthur typing away downstairs. Joan settled into the rocking chair and rocked the infant in her arms to sleep. For a good twenty minutes she just sat and watched her sons peaceful face as he slept. Her heart felt so full in the quiet peace of the moment. The only sound in the room being her sons light moans and gurgles as he slept. The only movement his periodic twitches and re-adjustements. The typing downstairs halted and Joan could hear her husband shuffling around to lock up for the night. She carefull stood and walked down the hall to set the baby into the basinet by her bed before going through her nightly routine of getting ready for bed. Emerging from the bathroom in a night dress she sat on the bed, legs under the sheets, back leaned against the pillows set-up against the head-board and she waited for him to come upstairs. Which he did not long after she stilled.

Entering the room he saw his wife waiting for him. Her face tense, the weight of whatever it was that had been bothering her for the past 24 hours showing itself on her features. Arthur changed out of his jeans and pullover into flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt before settling into bed beside her and turning his face to look at her, "Joan, what's bothering you?"

She crossed her arms and turned her head bringing her eyes to briefly meet her husbands before letting them fall to focus on the floor beside the bed.

Arthur turned his body to block her empty stare. Sitting with his back to the edge of the bed and his legs crossed perpendicularly over the top of her extended ones Arthur whispered her name and waited for her to speak. Joans head tilted to the side and she met his eyes.

"Is it because I announced the committees decision in front of Annie before I told you?"

Joan shook her head, "No, although telling me first would've been nice but I know you were excited and…." She shrugged, "…that's what makes this so hard."

"Joan what is hard?"

Lifting a hand, Joan let it rest on her husbands shin, "I had been hoping you and the DNIs idea would be shot down by the senate." Arthur opened his mouth to speak but Joan held up a hand and shut him up, "Let me explain…." Arthur nodded and closed his mouth. "If they shot it down, you would be home, a stay-at-home-dad and my decision to go back to work would be easier to make. I wouldn't be abandoning my son for my career because you would be home with him."

Arthur put his right hand flat on the bed beside him and leaned onto it looking at her sideways, "Why didn't you tell me you wanted me to stay home?"

"Because Arthur I would have been asking you to do something I was un-willing to do myself and that….." She looked down at her hands and shook her head, "….would be selfish and un-fair." Her sad eyes came up to meet his. "I knew this baby would change our lives, we agreed a long time ago that we wanted kids but we wanted our careers and we would find a way to balance it all. But, the reality of that is harder than I ever imagined. Now you will be working, and in January I will be working and I have to deal with the reality that I will have to hire some stranger to raise our son." Her voice began to crack with emotion. Her eyes moving from her concerned husband to her sleeping son.

"Oh Joan…" Arthur said her name with sympathy as he moved to slide under the covers beside her and wrap his arm around her pulling her head to his shoulder. "I wish you would've told me."

Joan sniffled, "Would it have made a difference?"

Arthur shook his head, "Yes and no, I still would've pursued this opportunity but I'm your husband and I need to know when you're struggling with all this. A stranger will not raise our son. A person we trust will take care of him from 9 to 5 four days a week and…"

Joan raised her head and looked up at him, "Four days a week? Arthur, as DCS you worked 14 hour days 6 often 7 days out of the week and the DNI works similar hours."

Arthur nodded, "Now it's your turn to be quiet and let me explain." Joan rolled her eyes but nodded in compliant silence, "I will be a politician. How many politicians do you know that work on Friday and work anywhere close to the hours I used to work." Joan bit her lip unable to come up with an example. "I will be the Associate DNI, the ADNI. I will be a public face, an assistant and something like an advisor, not a manager and final decision maker. Part of that agreement is I have Friday through Sunday off unless there is some crazy invasion. We will have to hire a nanny, but she won't raise our son. We will. We will adjust our schedules as we need to and when we're home, we will be home. You told me you were a better delegator than me…?" Joan rolled her eyes and smirked, "…I know you are and I am counting on that to enable you to take as many long weekends to spend with us as possible. We can do this. You can do this."

Joan looked way and shook her head bringing up a hand to wipe the tears from her eyes. Arthur squeezed her shoulder, "But you're right, hoping I fail at getting a job is selfish." Joan laughed and gave his cheek a playful slap. As her hand fell away from his face Arthur grabbed it and pulled her body close to his. Joan laid head onto his chest and felt him kiss the top of her head as she closed her eyes. "I love you Arthur." He shimmied down so he was laying on his back and Joan re-adjusted herself so she could lay snuggled into this side with her head on his chest. "I love you too Joan. You are an amazing mother and wife. McKenzie and I are the luckiest men in the world." Letting out a sigh of contentment Joan relaxed and began to drift into sleep. Her husbands steady heart-beat beneath her head and the smell of his cologne comforting her as she replayed his words in her head, We can do this.

Chapter 17

As the sunlight began to peek over the horizon Annie pulled the blanket closer around her shoulders. Although obscured by the structures surrounding her third story apartment window she could see the golden rays slowly creeping into the sky dispelling the darkness as they rose higher and higher. The dark sky first turned a shade of deep blue but now even the blue was being displaced by purple, pink, orange, and yellow. Breathing deeply Annie closed her eyes and let her pale skin absorb the warmth of the sun. She had observed many a sunrise but never had she seen one from the beginning stages of darkness all the way to the light of day. The changes were subtle, and slow. Barely noticeable at first. Then suddenly, the fading of the colors and growing intensity of the light picked-up speed and the world became new.

Adjustments.

It had been a few weeks since she last had a night so restless. Not because of nightmares, but the fear of them loomed and kept her from falling into deep sleep. It's as if her body, in full rebellion, launched the cause of keeping her awake so the darkness couldn't take over her sleeping mind. It was also strange to not hear a newborns cries every few hours. Her apartment was quiet except the sound of the heat kicking on periodically or a car driving by on the street. It gave her time to think. Probably to think too much. Now she was standing alone wondering how she got here. In a melancholy muse she compared her life lately to the sunrise. Darkness. Pure darkness but slowly there were changes. Slowly she was able to see. The adjustment was taking longer than she liked. It was time for the sun to peak and the changes to pick-up momentum. Annie Walker was done with loss, done with guilt. It was time to move on. Time for a new day to dawn. If only she could get her restless body and oscillating emotions on board with her tenacious will.

The CIA security guards were becoming comfortable and familiar with Annie Walker. Today she breezed through the checkpoints and both quickly and painlessly obtained her red visitors badge. Stepping into the main hall she found a familiar face leaning against the marble wall waiting for her.

Upon hearing her take her first step towards him, Auggie looked up in her general direction and sent her a warm smile. "Anne."

"August." She reached for his hand and let him trail his fingers up her arm to find her elbow. "What is the director of the DPD doing escorting a visitor around Langley?"

"Investigating any threats that make it past our borders. That is, after all, my job description." He spoke out of one side of his mouth and let sarcasm overtake his features.

"So I'm a threat?"

"You're on my list."

"Uh-huh." Annie mumbled as she rolled her eyes.

"Hows the apartment?"

"It's nice."

"Nice? That's it?"

"What do you want me to tell you?" Annie asked as she reached for the button to bring the elevator to Dr. Peterson's floor.

Auggie waited until he heard the elevator doors close to answer her question. "We alone?"

"Yeah."

He took a step closer to her and looked down to where he hoped her eyes were, "How are you handling being alone?"

Annie rolled her eyes but didn't step away from him, "You sound like Joan. Stop worrying about me living on my own. I am a spy I think I can handle it."

Auggie nodded and turned his head from her voice to the door of the elevator, "I know you can, but I also know it is hard to be alone with your thoughts sometimes."

Annie shot him a glare he couldn't see but could obviously feel as the doors slid open. The way he could read her thoughts was un-canny. Sometimes she appreciated it. Being known and understood by another person is comforting but it is also often annoying. Especially when he is right.

"How do you feel about being on your own?"

Annie squinted her eyes and bit on her cheek, How many variations of that question can there possibly be."I feel...normal."

"Normal is a relative state of being, not a feeling. Did you sleep last night?"

Annie, still on the edge of her seat, tugged on the bottom of her pencil skirt and straightened her posture, "We're back to that question? And I thought I was improving." Light sarcasm crept into her tone of voice.

"You are." Dr. Peterson stated matter-of-factly as he set her notebook onto the coffee table between them and relaxed back into his chair. "But living on your own requires an adjustment period. Especially after a trauma. So, for today, it is again a relevant question."

Annie sighed and Dr. Peterson narrowed his eyes at her, "Did you sleep?"

Tilting her head to the side, Annie pursed her lips before responding in a harsh tone, "No."

"Nightmares?"

"No."

"So...?"

"I slept some it was just...restless." She had an air of superiority in her voice.

Dr. Peterson gave an understanding nod, "Not surprising. It takes time to get used to sleeping in a new place. Which brings me back to my original question...how do you feel about being on your own?"

Annie leaned toward him and put her elbows on her knees, "Let me ask you a question..." When he didn't dismiss her proposition Annie went on, "...if you and everyone else are so worried about me living on my own, why did you tell Calder I was ready?"

"Did you not feel ready?"

Annie sat back and sighed in frustration, "I didn't feel anything. It is just the next step in the process. Whatever this process is, seeing as there is no norm for what I'm going through."

"No, there isn't. Normally, what makes treating a PTSD patient in the CIA so difficult is their need for a support system. They need people they can work through their issues with apart from just their therapist. We live in a classified world so, an operative having that support, accountability, having someone they can talk too regardless of the level of classification is rare. "

"That's why I stayed with Joan and Arthur?"

"Yes and no. They did not consult me before inviting you. It was their instinct. In fact they approached me to make sure they weren't doing any harm by keeping you in their home and making you talk about things. It was that support system, coupled with Auggie and Calder that made me comfortable with your process being different and, in all honesty shorter."

"Shorter?" She sounded un-impressed.

"You are resilient Annie. You have a support system, you have people with clearances higher than yours that you can feel comfortable talking too. Because of that, I feel comfortable clearing you early, and letting you live on your own sooner than I would most patients. Calder asked for my opinion on your readiness level before he approached you with your new NOC. As much as he wanted you in the field, he wanted you healthy more."

Annie sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

"Are you angry with Calder, or me for giving you this much leeway?"

"No I'm not angry. I just don't understand why you cleared me this far if you don't think I can handle it. You keep asking me how I feel about being on my own. What do you want me to say that I….I feel happy?"

"Do you feel happy to be independent again?"

Annie paused and looked at him with narrow eyes, "Yes."

"Annie, you told me you didn't have time to let yourself feel anything while you were on your own."

"Because that's true."

Letting out a deep sigh he brought his hands to fold under his chin, "Let's to back to when you were on your own, in the dark. Were there any moments in which you let yourself feel fear?"

"I was afraid I lost you"

"You know when I was afraid?"

"When?"

"When I knocked on your door and you asked who was there and I didn't know the answer."

Annie slowly brought her focus from the wall behind her therapists head to his eyes, "Yes." she said just under a whisper.

"When?"

Annie looked down at her hands and picked at her fingernail, "When I came back to D.C. as Jessica Matthews, I went to see Auggie and he asked me who was there..." Dr. Petersons contemplative silence and eerie stillness egged the young blonde on to continue the story, "I didn't know if I was supposed to say I was Jessica or Annie or just nobody..." She let her eyes meet his for a second before glancing past him at the bookshelf on the wall behind his chair. Annie stood and walked over to examine the contents more closely and to buy herself some time. "...I was afraid because I realized I had become someone else, someone I didn't recognize." She pulled out a copy of Cry The Beloved Country and flipped through it before stuffing it back into its place. "I realized I had forgotten who I was and that terrified me." Crossing her arms she turned to see Dr. Peterson had been watching her in the mirror over the couch against the opposite wall.

"Annie, can you come sit down?" His voice was smooth and calm.

She willingly obeyed and returned to her seat on the couch across from the tall, long man.

"Did you let yourself grieve?"

Confusion drew lines all over her face, "I was the one who died..."

"But certainly relationships you had died."

"Maybe"

"Maybe? Annie you're diminishing your experiences. It's a way of not having to look at choices you've made."

"I am fully aware of the choices I've made"

"Are you?"

"I chose to go dark. I chose to leave Auggie. I chose to lie to my sister and I chose to kill Henry Wilcox."

"You chose to let go of who you were and in doing so you chose to live out your core fear."

"Core fear?"

"Yes you told me the moment you were afraid was the moment you didn't know who you were."

"No I said it was the moment Auggie asked me who was there and I didn't know how to answer..."

He looked her in the eye for a moment before interrupting her and posing a question in a stern voice, "Who are you?"

Annie's rambling came to an abrupt halt. She licked her lips and looked at him with a sideways glare, "I'm sorry, what?"

"Who-Are-You?"

There was a long pause as Annie let the question sink in. "I don't know?"

"I know and that is why you are here. Not because you can't sleep, your symptoms are irrelevant because until you can answer that question we can't move forward. Sometimes you have to let your greatest fears take up temporary residence in you. Only in living with them will you ever overcome them."

Annie could feel warm tears beginning to pool behind her brown eyes.

"Annie, what are you afraid of?"

She let out a sigh and cursed under her breath as a tear fell down her left cheek, "Loosing what made me, me, what made me Annie Walker."

"Can you tell me what that is?"

Another moment of silence filled the office as Annie looked for an answer, "I guess my job, my family, friends, what I do, who I know. Without their approval I'm just out there on my own. I'm just Jessica Matthews. I'm nobody."

"And for nearly four months you went without the things that defined you and you never grieved the loss. And now you are trying to re-build your life without letting go of the old you. You will never be the same person you were before you faked your death and isolated yourself and you can never fully embrace who you are becoming without grieving and letting go of who you lost."

Annie trudged up the snow-covered walk-way to the door of her storage facility. It contained three things she needed: a car to avoid the awful CIA shuttle rides, a computer so she could book her ticket to California, and a it was a safe, silent place where she could breathe. Once inside the shed she rolled the door down and took a moment to smile at the memories the Corvette stirred in her. Memories of the old Annie. The smile left her face as her mind turned to memories of Jessica. Annie set herself into the drivers seat and leaned her head back. Who am I? What makes me Annie? Those questions shouldn't be so hard to answer.

"Take some time to think about the answer to these questions and how the answers have changed since you went dark."

Dr. Peterson's homework assignment ran thought her mind. Sitting up she removed her computer from its hiding spot and hooked up the wireless internet. Retrieving her phone from her pocket she saw a text from Joan which she ignored for the moment and dialed her sisters number.

"Hello?"

"Hey Danielle. I am looking at plane tickets."

"Okay, I am pulling out my calendar. What flights are you looking at? How long will you stay?"

"I don't have much vacation time."

"You have a job?"

"Yeah, I'm working for the National Archives as an analyst starting the day after tomorrow." She said in a passive tone as she scrolled down the page of flight options.

"What about...you know…?" Danielle didn't want to say the word so beat around the bush hoping Annie would understand.

"Yeah, my other employer is fully aware and supportive."

"In other words you didn't quit you just took on a second job?"

"Basically, so how does me flying in on Saturday and back the day after Christmas sound? I'll land at the San Francisco International Airport at 7pm and then leave at 7:55am to go home."

"That's barely 5 days."

"I know it's short but…."

"But I'm gonna get to see you so short or not I am just glad you're coming."

"Me too." She said with a grin in her voice.

"Email me your itinerary and I will see you in a few days!" Danielles voice practically screeched on the phone.

"Okay. And, uh, the girls screeching tone, directly inherited from you." She said in a sarcastic tone.

"Oh yeah, well... fine." she said, unable to think of a good comeback.

"I love you Danielle."

"I love you too Annie, oh, you said you were getting an apartment the other day?"

"Yeah sorry, uh I live on M Street in a one-bedroom apartment."

"New job, new home, that's a lot of change and I know we're military brats so professional change managers but...are you doing okay?"

Annie sighed, "How about we talk about that when I get in town?"

"Fine. It just gives me time to think of more obnoxious big-sister questions to ask you. And don't forget to send me your itinerary."

Hands flying over the keys Annie quickly emailed it to her while she was thinking about it, "In your inbox."

"Thanks."

Annie said goodbye and ended the call before opening the message from Joan.

"Some of your clothes were in the dryer with the load you ran before you left.

We will be home all night if you want to drop by and pick them up or I can bring them to you Thursday.

I will be in the office for an hour or so."

Typing a brief reply Annie stashed her computer and go-bag before opening the door of the shed. Putting the key in the ignition she couldn't help but grin when she heard the engine start.

Twenty minutes later Annie pulled up in front of the house numbered 2856. She knocked on the front door and pulled her coat closer to her as a frigid breeze blew around her.

Joan answered the door with McKenzie in her arms, "Annie, come in."

The blonde entered the house and greeted Arthur who was coming down the stairs.

Joan turned to address the blonde, "Here…." She handed the baby to Annie, "…you hold him and I will grab your clothes."

Annie grinned down at the baby boy. Arthur cleared his throat to get the young blondes attention, "Where did you get that car?"

Letting out a chuckle Annie nodded toward the driveway where she was parked, "Auggie gave it to me a few years ago. Two rides in the complementary CIA shuttle were enough to make me go get it out of storage."

Arthur raised his eyebrows, "Can't say I blame you there. How do you like your apartment?" His narrow eyes met Annies wide brown ones.

"Its nice."

Joans light footsteps on the stairs drew Arthurs attention away from her and the conversation that Annie preferred to not repeat.

Instead of reaching to take McKenzie, Joan nodded toward the living room and set the tote-bag full of Annies clothes on the table by the door, "Come sit."

Annie looked at Arthur. Her expression requesting he help her escape the impending sit-down with Joan. Her desperate glare was met with pursed lips, a shake of the head, and two hands raised in surrender before her source of escape turned and retreated to his office.

Annie took a deep breath and put on a smile before taking a seat beside Joan.

"How are you adjusting?"

Annie switched arms she was holding McKenzie with and looked up at Joan, "Fine."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Okay."

Joan stood and took her son from Annie who was trying her best not to look as shocked as she felt. She watched the woman walk across the hall and open one of the doors of the built-ins in the living room wall.

"I'm guessing you installed your safe during your sleepless night last night?" Joan looked over her shoulder just in time to catch Annie shrug. Turning around and closing the cabinet door she now had Annies gun in her hand. Stretching her arm out she offered it to the now obviously shocked blonde sitting on the couch. "For your safe and I expect you to keep it in there and not on your night-stand."

Annie took the weapon and nodded in agreement.

Joan stood in the window and watched Annie drive off. Her husband came to stand behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Worried?"

With a sigh Joans eyes flickered from the empty driveway to the baby in her arms, "I think I will worry about Annie Walker for the rest of my life, but less so once she is finally cleared and back to being the Annie that drives me crazy."

Arthur chuckled and leaned over to kiss her cheek, "In that respect she really does remind me of you."

Joan turned and looked at him with a sideways glare, "Oh really?"

"Mhmm, terrible at taking orders, always pushing the envelope but somehow always getting the win." A grin began to flicker across Joans mouth. "She will pull through this."

Joan nodded, "I hope so."

Chapter 18

From the time she stepped out of the elevator, every step she took toward the Domestic Protection Division was as silent as she could make it. Her heel never clicked against the tile and she was feeling proud of her stealthy abilities until...

"Walker?"

With a groan she let her heel down and walked around the corner and entered his office, "Yes" she replied lamely. He pulled his headphones off his ears and let them rest around his neck, "Don't sound too excited to see me or anything."

Rounding his desk she gave him a quick punch in the shoulder, "How do you always know it's me? I walked on my tip-toes, I'm not wearing any perfume, I practically held my breath, and I walked into the DPD directly behind someone so you wouldn't know the door had opened but you still knew I was there."

He gave her a cocky grin, "What can I say? My Annie Walker tracking software is the best in the world..." Annie chuckled as Auggie cleared his desk-top of whatever he was working on and sat back into his chair giving his un-divided attention to the blonde perched on his desk. "...as is my caffeine detecting radar. Did you bring me coffee Walker?"

"Again..." she said with a flip of her hair, "...how do you do that..." She set the cup in her left-hand down on his desk, "Coffee at your ten o'clock."

Reaching for the cup, Auggie gave her yet another cheeky grin, "Thank you. So, what do you need from me?" His eyes smiled over his cup in her general direction as he took a sip of the coffee he assumed to be a bribe.

"Nothing. Calder just mentioned you pulled an all-nigher and were in need of a pick-me-up."

Auggie shook his head, "How he went from not allowing us to talk to each other to pushing us together I will never know."

"I guess that's one good change..."

Auggie shrugged in response and took another sip of his cup of energy.

"Don't you wanna know why I was just up on the seventh floor?" Annie asked in a sly tone.

Auggie rubbed his chin as if he had a beard the size of Santa Clause, "I don't know...Do I?"

Rolling her eyes, Annie rambled on, "I was signing my reinstatement paperwork and getting my badge..." Emphasizing the word she un-clipped it from her pencil-skirt and waved it in the air. "...so, other than the fact my clearance is almost as low as the person who made you that cup of coffee, and the fact I can't even think about doing fieldwork, Annie Walker is back."

Holding his coffee cup down by his stomach, Auggie cocked his head sideways and smiled up at her, "Well, in that case..." he set his cardboard cup down on the desk and reached with his left hand until he found her arm. Lightly trailing his fingers down he expertly found her hand and held it in his own, "...Annie Walker, it is a pleasure to welcome you back to the agency."

"Thanks Auggie." Annie grinned and smiled down at him as she pondered the implications of "being back", her fingers meshing into his out of habit.

Using a quick squeeze to re-gain her full attention, Auggie looked up toward her, "What time do you go in for your first day in your new NOC?"

Annie squinted her eyes at him, "I'm meeting my new supervisor to get my other credentials at 11, but first...I have a therapy session..." her eyes leisurely looked to check the time on the TV screen behind his desk. "Oh no...I, I gotta go, my session with Dr. Peterson is in two minutes." Un-tangling her hand from Auggies, she abruptly scrambled to her feet and hurried toward the door.

"Don't wanna to keep those evil shrinks waiting. Good luck Walker." He shot a mischievous grin toward her spot in the doorway before putting his head-phones back on. Smiling to herself, Annie continued her frantic trek toward her therapists office.

Annie paced the length of Dr. Petersons office. When her nervous footsteps caused her to face where he was seated behind his desk she carefully examined his non-verbals as he read. When her back was to him she eyed the door and flirted with the possibility of escape. Once again, she felt like a college student waiting on her professor to finish proofreading her paper and either declare her to be a genius or a failure. It took her nearly half of the hour-long session to work up the courage just to turn it in. It wasn't even that long so what the hell was taking him so damn long.

Flipping her hair around she was again facing the man who had finished reading and was now sitting with his hands clasped over his desk. His grey eyes wide with amusement as he watched the nervous flurry of blonde in front of him. Annies eyes widened with shock seeing he had finished, "So?"

The man didn't respond just motioned for her to take a seat in one of the chairs across from his desk. Annie nervously tugged down on her grey blazer as she moved to take a seat.

"When did you put this list together?"

With a deep breath Annie responded, "Yesterday I took a drive at 4am..." Dr. Petersons eyes narrowed at her. Annie shook her head and tried to non-verbally dismiss his worries, "I went to Bickle Knob, it's an observation tower in the Monongahlea National Forest. I didn't plan on going there but it's where I ended up."

"Is that a significant place for you?" he asked as he brought his clenched fist up from where it was resting on the desk to where it propped up his chin.

Annie shrugged, "My dad took us there as kids." Looking down at her hands she chuckled at the memory, "He took us up to the...the wood platform and pointed at the endless forest around us told us a story." She shook her head and looked up at her amused therapist.

Dr. Peterson sat back in his chair, "What was the story?"

"The Velveteen Rabbit. He said it was the forest that the rabbit lived in after he was changed from being a toy to being a real rabbit. My dad told us that story all the time before he..." her thoughts left the room for a moment until she remembered where she was and why she had brought up the folktale to begin with, "...in the story, the rabbit asks what it means to be real and the horse replies, 'Real isn't how you are made...It's a thing that happens to you.'" Annie smiled at herself with pride, "So I sat up there and realized what makes me Annie Walker isn't one thing it's everything that has happened to me and it involves everyone I have met."

Dr. Peterson nodded and completed her thought, "So you wrote a list of things that make Annie Walker real."

The blonde operative bit her lip, "Did I do it right?"

"There is no right or wrong way to answer the question, 'who am I' but this is a very good start. I'm proud of you Annie, I know writing this wasn't easy."

A hopeful smile played on her lips as Dr. Peterson folded the paper back in half and handed it to her, "I believe you need to get to work?"

Annie accepted the paper. Running her fingers over the crease she nodded and stood.

"Good luck today."

She thanked him and turned to leave.

"Oh, and Annie..." He leaned forward and set his clasped hands on the top of his mahogany desk, "...from now on we'll only be meeting once a week. I'll see you when you get back from California."

Her face bent with confusion as she stepped away from the door and back toward his desk, "Really? I mean, am...am I ready for that?"

"Do you feel like you are?"

"I-I guess, I just thought...Calder said I had another month of therapy."

"I didn't say I was clearing you or that you are ready to stop coming to sessions just that they'll be less frequent. Are you uncomfortable with that?"

For some reason part of her wanted to say yes. Swallowing down her nerves she shook her head, "No, I'm good."

He nodded, "Good. You have my number if you need anything, otherwise, enjoy the holiday Annie."

"Annie Walker?"

A medium-height woman with a sharp and narrow face, short dark hair, and lean figure questioned the young blondes identity as she entered the conference room. Annie stood and extended a hand, "That's me. I assume you are Michelle Biram?" The woman in the black pantsuit across from her nodded and shook Annies hand firmly, "I am. Please sit."

Annie sat and watched Michelle open the file that had been tucked under her arm, "Okay, so you have been granted a Top Secret Clearance, you have signed your new hire paperwork and confidentiality forms, and here is your I.D. card..." She spoke without looking up from the file and held the plastic card out to Annie who clipped it to her blazer. Funny, her official clearance for her NOC was higher than her current un-official, temporary clearance for the CIA.

"Okay." The woman snapped the folder shut and stood, "It's a pleasure to have you at the National Archives. Follow me and I will show you to your office." Annie stood and followed the woman who traded her secretary the folder in her hand for another one which she promptly turned over to Annie. "Your resume was given to me by my bosses boss. It highlights your language abilities. For now, consider yourself our in-house Russian expert." Annie opened the file and felt a moment of deja vu as her mind flashed back to being called into Langley for her "language abilities".

Her brow furrowed with confusion as she looked at details of the document she was supposed to work on retrieving, "I don't speak Romanian."

The woman sighed but kept walking, "The letter was originally lost in Romania but we are pretty sure it is written in English and that it's current location is in Russia. What do you know about Operation Tidal Wave?"

Annie quickened her pace to keep up with the dark-haired woman, "The Air Force bombed Ploiești Romania to destroy the oil supplies there that the Axis powers were using, but it ended as a strategic failure."

The woman nodded, "Page 9" Annie flipped through the file, "That is what is written in the history books. There was a second target compartmentalized from the main mission that was successfully attacked. A hand-written letter General Ent gave a U.S. airman the instructions and location which he attacked successfully. Strategic failure, yes but his mission being completed alone made the loss of lives and aircraft negligent."

Annies reading finally caught up to Michelles story, "His plane crashed in Russia where he took up residence with a Russian family until he was found and captured. And you think the letter is still in Russia?"

The woman used her ID badge to open the door of an office in the back corner of the building, "No we know it is. Page 11."

"The classifieds from a Moscow newspaper printed last week..."

"Yes, someone advertised having a letter for sale to the highest bidder."

Annie read the highlighted column, "A letter written in English from G.E."

"We think that could be General Ent. Your job is to find that letter and bring it back."

Annie shut the file and looked around the small room, "Finding mis-placed classified material, that sounds more like a job for the CIA than for a language expert." The words flew out of her mouth and she realized she had just put herself in a potentially compromising position.

The woman looked harshly at Annie, "If you don't think you can do it I am sure I can find someone else who speaks Russian."

Annie shook her head, "No I just meant..."

"Because it was off books in 1944 and classified it should still be so? The Office of Strategic Services was a bully then and her child, the CIA is a bully now. You do know that the NARA is responsible for storing classified documents until they can be declassified? This is one such document we would prefer to have in our vault and not roaming around Europe in some civilians pocket."

"I meant no dis-respect."

"I'm sure you didn't. Along with working on finding this letter you also need to read-over classifieds in Russian newspapers looking for similar advertisements. We have no way of knowing what historical documents are missing from our collection or are absent from our limited knowledge so when you have no specific assignment you are simply looking for breadcrumbs." Annie nodded indicating she understood when the woman paused and looked for a response, "Most of our analysts work from home and are only here when they have something to show me. You are new, and to be honest you were fired from the Smithsonian for being un-reachable for over a month after which you made your living as a criminal until, what did your cover letter call it, a life-changing event forced you to re-evaluate your life?" The woman raised a thick dark eyebrow at Annie, "...so I would feel more comfortable if you come in as often as possible so I can get to know you."

"I understand your concern and I promise to be here on a consistent basis. I am, however, planning on being out of town for the holidays. I will be back in the office on the 27th."

"And that is fine with me as long as you come back. If you have any questions, you know where to find me. One of our senior analysts will be here tomorrow. If you have any questions I am sure he would be happy to answer them as well."

"Thank you Ms. Biram."

"Michelle."

Annie quickly corrected herself, "Michelle."

The woman gave Annie a half-smile and exited the room. Once her footsteps had gone silent Annie closed her office door and breathed a sigh of relief. Michelle Biram did not trust Annie Walker.

Annie pulled out her cell phone and rang Auggies line at Langley.

"Anderson."

"Hey Auggie, it's me." She identified herself as she walked around her small, dusty, windowless office. There was an empty bookshelf taking up the wall to her right, straight across from the doorway was a desk that looked like it had been around for a hundred years.

"How is orientation day going?"

Annie pulled the chair out from under the desk and cautiously sat, unsure if it would hold her weight. It squeaked but remained in one piece, "It's been interesting."

"Are you free to talk?"

"Is my office free?"

"Yes, we had a team sweep it this morning."

"Okay. Well my clearance here is higher than it is there."

She could hear a smile in Auggies voice, "Really now?"

Annie rolled her eyes, "Was that your idea or Calders?"

"Mine of course. Like your first assignment?"

With a smack of her lips she switched the phone from one ear to the other, "I knew it was too much of a coincidence. What's the real story?"

"Oh, I didn't choose that assignment for you and frankly the CIA doesn't care who sees that letter. Compared to Snowden and a number of other things outside of either of your clearance levels, or mine for that matter, that letter would be a minor scandal."

"That surprises me. What can you tell me about the compartmentalized mission the letter gave instructions for?"

"He dropped a bomb on a target of OSS interest."

"So it wasn't a super-secret mission?"

"Then it was. Like I said, Annie, the CIA didn't arrange for you to get this mission, Michelle did. She is Jewish, her great-grandfather was a Romanian Jew persecuted by the Nazis. She has a soft-spot for her home-country and the NARA have been looking for this letter for years."

"I'm surprised she has a soft anything."

"I heard she was a little bit intimidating."

Annie scoffed, "A little bit?"

"Speaking of intimidating, Joan Campbell just walked into the DPD, and is walking straight toward...Afternoon Joan."

Annie rolled her eyes at his super-blind-man abilities at work once again. She could hear Joans greeting on the other end of the phone.

"Annie, I'm putting you on speaker."

A moment later Joans voice came over the phone, "Hey Annie."

"Joan."

"Like your office?"

Annie chuckled and looked around the room, "It has an antique air about it that the historian in me may get used too, in another life."

"I heard. Listen, prove yourself, earn some rapport then you won't have to spend your days in the dungeon."

Auggie chimed in, "Yes the faster she trusts you, the faster you can get back to spending your days here."

Lisa, Auggies secretary joined Joan and Auggies voices as she informed Joan that Calder was waiting for her. Joan thanked and dismissed the girl before turning her attention back to the phone-call, "Annie, do you still want me or Arthur to take you to the airport on Saturday?"

The sudden change in subject threw Annie off, "Uh, yeah, my flight leaves at 10am"

"Okay, one of us will get you. Bye Annie, Auggie, if I don't see you again, enjoy your holiday."

"You too Joan."

Annie heard him change the phones setting and bring it back to his ear, "In celebration of your return to the Agency, how about Allen's with your old, blind CIA friend at 7?"

Annie grinned, "Sounds like the perfect way to celebrate."

The sound of Auggies cane sweeping rhythmically across the floor pulled Annies attention from the beer in her hands to the tall man walking toward her. "Hey."

"Hey yourself." He pulled the chair across from her out from under the table and took a seat. The waitress came and took his order.

"So, California for Christmas? Excited" he asked removing his satchel and sliding it under his chair.

"Yeah. I'm excited to see Danielle and the girls. Not so excited about spending Christmas day with Michaels family."

He raised an inquisitive brow, "Why not?"

"They are formal and rich and, I haven't seen them since Danielles wedding, but, I remember very vividly not getting along with Michaels mother."

The waitress set a mug in front of Auggie telling him it was at his ten o'clock. He thanked her and took a sip before addressing Annie, "I am sure you can win her over with your charm. If that doesn't work, just treat her like an asset. Find out what makes her tick, stroke her ego, you will be besties in no time."

Annie rolled her eyes, "Maybe so. What do you have planned for the holidays?"

"Goin home for Christmas Eve and Christmas day unless an international emergency rescues me."

"I thought you liked going home?"

"I do, just not at Christmas. It's hard to be in a house with my three brothers, their wives and their kids. There is stuff everywhere. Toys, people, luggage, food, it's a blind mans nightmare. I have to be led around to do basically anything."

Annie sighed, "I'm sorry Auggie."

"I'm just hoping my niece has grown out of her uh, sticker stage. Last time I saw her she covered my cane in what I later found out were Disney princess stickers."

Annie covered her mouth and tried not to laugh.

"It's okay laugh it up. I never got the stickers and goo off so I bought a new cane."

"I'm so sorry Auggie."

He shrugged dismissively, "How was therapy?"

Annie leaned forward on her elbows, "Good actually. We're moving to once a week from now on."

Auggie looked as surprised as she had been, "You ready for that?"

Annie took a deep breath, "Honestly, I'm not sure. A week ago I would've told you I was ready to be cleared on day one but maybe I wasn't. I'm..feeling like myself again. It's slow but...bit by bit I'm becoming myself or this new version of myself."

Auggie leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest, "Well you sound more like yourself."

"Yeah?" She asked flirtatiously.

"Yeup." He replied mid-yawn.

Annie looked at him with a sad smile, "So, you've been up for 36 hours?"

Sitting up straight, Auggie tried to wipe the tiredness off his face with his hand, "Not like I haven't done it before."

Annie stood and lightly tapped his arm with her fingertips, "Come on sleepy man, I am taking you home and putting you to bed."

He looked up and gave her a coy smirk, "Putting me to bed?"

Annie groaned and scolded him, "Get your head out of the gutter."

He put his bag over his head and picked up his cane before following her lead toward the parking lot. "I was just excited for bed time stories with Aunt Annie, you're the one whose mind is in the gutter."

Annie laughed an "Uh-huh" as they reached the Corvette. She took Auggies hand and put it on the hood.

"This doesn't feel like a doo….."he stopped mid-thought and started running his hand over the side of the car, "….you kept her?"

"Of course I did. Good thing too or I would be stuck on that awful shuttle everyday." Auggie laughed as he found the door handle and eased himself into he car. "Well I'm glad to know she is being well taken care of."

Annie pulled up to the curb beside his apartment entrance, "We're here."

He nodded but didn't move to get out of the car. Instead he opened his bag and pulled out a white box with a red bow tied around it. "Because I probably won't see you until after the holidays." He shyly held the gift out for her to take.

"Auggie, you shouldn't...I didn't get you anything."

He shook his head, "Yes you did." He reached for her and found her hands. Placing the box in one he took the other in his own, "You came home, gave me a second chance, and gave me a ride in my favorite car. You being here is all I could've asked for." He pulled her hand to his lips and planted a soft kiss on her knuckes sending goosebumps up her arm. He shot her a warm smile, "You gonna open it?"

"I need two hands to do that." She could see him blush even in the dim light as he let her hand go. "You wrap this yourself?"

He shrugged, "I have a friend."

Annie just laughed and nodded as she tore the paper open revealing a box of perfume. "VERVEINE D'EUGÈNE?"

Auggie nodded proudly, "It's like Jo Malone Grapefruit, according to the sales lady at Nordstrom, but you haven't worn it since you got back and I figured, new Annie, new scent. Plus it will make finding you in a crowded room a little easier." He could hear Annie opening the box, hear her carefully remove the lid and hear her as she inhaled the scent, "I think it smells like you." When she didn't respond he started to worry, "You don't like it?"

The blonde beside him shook her head, "No, I love it." She sniffled and leaned over the car to kiss him on the cheek. "Merry Christmas Annie." He whispered against her cheek. Annie planted a kiss on his lips, "Merry Christmas Auggie." She managed to whisper before he captured her lips again. He pulled away and caressed her face before letting out a deep sigh. "Goodnight Annie." She nodded into his palm before he pulled it away and reached for the door handle. Annie stayed and waited to make sure he made it into the building before starting the car and driving to her apartment.

Excerpt from The Velveteen Rabbit

(therefore obviously not my original work)

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Chapter 19

It was a little after 8am when Arthur merged onto the freeway with Annie in the passenger seat of his black BMW. He hadn't said much since he picked her up at the apartment. Honestly, Annie had been expecting Joan to come get her and finding Arthur at her door surprised her. An awkward silence had now settled over the car.

When the road crossed over the Potomac Annie broke the silence, "What are you and Joan doing for the holidays?" His was un-responsive as his glazed over dark brown eyes just kept staring at the road ahead of him. "Arthur?" Annie requested his attention when she realized he hadn't heard her attempt at making small talk. He blinked and glanced over at her, "Sorry, McKenzie was up every hour last night. I don't think Joan slept more than three hours. I obviously didn't get much more than her." He sighed deeply trying to hide a yawn, "What are we doing for the holidays...?" He pursed his lips as he pulled the question out of his memory. "Tonight we're celebrating with Joan's family in Baltimore..."

Annie glanced at him, "With her sisters?"

"Mhmm. Between her parents, three sisters, brothers-in-law, nieces and nephews it is a full house. Every year a few days before Christmas her parents host a formal Holiday dinner for the immediate family. Tonight is the first time her family will meet McKenzie. Then Christmas Eve we spend with my family in Richmond, and Christmas day has always been just the two of us."

"Now the three of you." Annie interjected. She watched a warm smile take over Arthur's tired features.

"When do you get back in town? I assume you will need a ride home?"

"I fly back the 26th and yes, if you don't mind. I didn't want to leave the Corvette at the airport."

Arthur chuckled as he pulled into the departures section of the airport, "Understandable. One of us will come get you." Parking the car by the curb he grabbed Annies luggage from the trunk and met her on the sidewalk. He set the suitcase down beside her before standing up straight and revealing the box he held hidden behind his back. "This is from Joan. She said to tell you to open it on the plane."

Annie took the box and nodded, "I guess it won't get me arrested when I go through security?"

With a shake of his head Arthur responded, "I doubt it."

"Thank you." Annie said looking at the concrete under her feet as she picked up the handle of the suitcase.

"Don't thank me I have no idea what Joan got you."

"No, I mean I'm...I'm grateful for the gift but..." Annie shook her head and sighed, "...thank you for giving me a place to stay, for helping me sort everything out and for calling Michael, if you hadn't I probably wouldn't be spending Christmas in California."

"Annie, I know it has been a tumultuous year and I know you, Joan and I haven't always seen eye to eye but we do want what is best for you and we want to see you succeed, see you healthy and we are relieved you're home. Apart from the agency, you are family. As difficult as it's been for us to watch you go through this process I'm honored you let us in and we are proud of you." He shot a genuine smile at the young operative and noticed the tears that were forming in her eyes. Arthur instinctively reached and wrapped the blonde in a quick fatherly embrace surprising both her and himself. He released her and shot her a grin, "Have a safe flight Walker and enjoy your time with your sister. "

"I will." She said as she smiled back.

Arthur leaned against the car and watched her walk into the terminal. Once she disappeared inside he chuckled at himself and headed home.

"Is this on right?" Arthur asked as he entered the bathroom where Joan was putting the last touches on her makeup. Setting the brush and powder down she turned to look at the baby-boy in her husbands arms who was dressed in a black suit that matched his fathers. A wide dimpled grin took over her worried face, "Yes." She bent down and kissed McKenzies forehead. "I'm almost ready can you pack an extra change of clothes in his diaper bag and grab the blue blanket off the crib."

"Yes ma'am." He responded and went to go his chores.

Joan sighed at her reflection in the mirror. Still feeling un-comfortable with her 1 month post-postpartum body. She was no longer sore and she had shed most of her baby weight but the red stretch marks hidden by the red sheath dress she was wearing hadn't faded and she suddenly had acne like she was a teenager again. Finishing her makeup, which was heavier than usual to hide the acne and dark circles under her eyes, she walked into the bedroom and used the mirror above her dresser to put on her jewelry.

Arthur re-entered the bedroom as she was putting on her last earring toting their son in the car seat and the black diaper bag. "McKenzie is ready to go."

Joan looked at him in the mirrors reflection and placed her palms flat on the dresser, "Arthur..." she bit her bottom lip when his eyes met hers "...what if we just stay home." His brow furrowed and he took a step toward his wife as she turned to face him, "...I'm tired and I just don't feel up to this." He stood a foot away from her and tilted his head to the side, "What's wrong Joan?" She let out a deep sigh and moved to busy herself by double checking the contents of McKenzies bag. "I'm not sure I can handle being crammed into that house with everyone telling stories about how they raised their kids and asking me if I'm going to quit my job and stay home and I just don't feel up to a night of family drama." She turned and leaned against the bed with her arms crossed over her chest. "We don't have to say late, but Joan, it's your family, they want to meet the baby and they want to see you. How we raise our son is none of their business and you will tell them so…What's really bothering you?" Her eyes timidly met his as he walked toward her and gave her shoulders a squeeze before trailing his hands down to rest on her hips. She whispered, "I feel like a whale that got strapped to a rack and stretched until it split in half." Arthur smiled down at his wife and shook his head, "You don't look like one. You look like my stunning wife and mother of my son, both of whom I want to show off." Joan rolled her eyes and wrapped her hands around his back, "Okay." Arthur pulled her close and whispered into her ear, "What did you want to do instead?" Joan sighed into his chest, "Curl up in front of the fireplace with you and a glass of wine and just relax." Arthur nodded and kissed the top of her head. "It is a long drive. We need to go if we're gonna get there in time for your mother to serve dinner." Nodding she reluctantly released him and spoke with a smile in her voice, "She wasn't too pleased when we were late two years ago." Arthur shook his head dramatically, "Never again."

Annie easily found Michael in the arrivals terminal of the San Francisco International Airport. He, however, had a hard time spotting her and was still scanning the room when she got within earshot of him. "Hey Michael!"

He turned and looked at her with wide eyes, "Anne. Good to see you." He glanced down at the carry-on she was wheeling behind her, "That your only bag?" Annie nodded and let him take the handle. "Alright, text your sister and tell her we're on our way home." As they walked to the parking deck Annie pulled out her phone and sent Danielle a quick text.

"You sent Michael to get me?"

"He was in the city working late and insisted. I made him promise to be nice. ;P"

"If I never get to the house Michael killed me."

"Not funny."

Annie grinned and stowed the phone back in her leather jackets pocket before settling into the passengers seat of Michaels grey Passat.

Twenty minutes later neither had spoken a word. The silence was thick and awkward for both of them. The blonde opted to sit and look out into the darkness of the night. As they merged onto the 80 and crossed the Bay Bridge, Annie noticed a bright light shinning into the drivers side window. "That a lighthouse?" Her curiosity serving to break the tension.

"Yeah that's the Alcatraz lighthouse."

Annie sat back in her seat and looked over at Michael, "They say it's haunted...?'

"Mhmm" the man nodded nonchalantly.

"Is it?"

Muchael chuckled, "Yeah, ghosts of prisoners past and all. In fact if you want you can go take a tour, I'm sure Danielle would be happy to ride the ferry over with you if you feel like going ghost hunting."

Although outwardly laughing at his joke, inside Annie wanted to tell him he didn't have to look that far to find one as she began remembering what it was like to be a ghost. It was like her entire life was now haunted. Her time in the dark a prison in it of itself. The darkness haunted her thoughts, her dreams, her relationships. Inwardly, she cringed wondering if the process was worth it, wondering if it was even possible to beat the ghosts. It's true she now had lights in the harbor guiding her home safely, but the lighthouse only illuminates so much. There is still more darkness than light.

Her brothers voice put a wrench in her melancholy thought process.

"Anne..." She whipped her hair around and met his eyes for a moment before he turned to face the road and went on, "...I hope you don't hate me for how I reacted when you came back."

"No, I...as much as I can, I understand. I'm not angry and I don't blame you. Don't get me wrong it was painful but...understandable and I'm so sorry for hurting you."

"I am responsible for keeping my family safe and I've not always done a good job so more than anything I was afraid. I know you lied to protect us and I am grateful and now I am glad you're back. It was hard watching Danielle grieve but..."

"I didn't want to hurt anyone, I..." Annie interrupted him before quickly being cut-off again by Michaels stern, but gentile voice, "Anne, let me finish." Annie closed her mouth and looked at the road ahead, "I was trying to say that I forgive you and I am glad my daughters will have you in their life."

Throwing her eyes to the roof of the car, Annie let out a relieved sigh, "Thank you."

The landscape changed from city to water now to suburbs illuminated dimly by streetlights as they entered San Ramon. They pulled into a gated neighborhood then up to a two-story stucco home. It looked to be twice the size of their home in Georgetown. The cobble-stone driveway led them to enter the garage on the side of the house.

"Your home is...amazing." Annie said in near shock.

Michael shrugged, "I purchased it when I was still digging myself out of the hole I buried myself in with your sister."

"Did it work? Are you out of the hole?" Annie asked with concern as they climbed out of the car.

"You'll have to ask Danielle that but….yes, I think so." He tried to hide a giddy smile by changing the subject, "You will stay in the guest house behind the main house but, Danielle is in the kitchen waiting for you. I'll bring your bag to your room. The kitchen is just inside that door." He pointed and proceeded to walk around to the trunk of the car.

"Another guest house?"

Michael shrugged, "When I bought the house, I knew she was hoping you would move out here someday. After you...died...your father got worse...we discussed moving him out here." Annie narrowed her eyes at her bother-in-law, "Danielle didn't mention that." He shook his head and closed the trunk, "Doesn't surprise me. She knows its hard for you and for her so..." His voice trailed off and he walked past her rolling her bag behind him. Annie let her curiosity determine her next question, "Why didn't you move him?" He un-locked the door in the garage that led to the kitchen and held it open for her, "His doctors told us he was too weak to make the journey. Now go, Danielle has been anxiously waiting for you all day."

Annie smiled and thanked him. Knowing the girls were probably asleep she quietly called out for her sister who came flying down the hall that connected the kitchen to the living room where she had been waiting, "You're here!" She squealed and wrapped her little sister into a tight hug. Annie chuckled, "I'm here" and squeezed Danielle back before pulling away, "The girls asleep?"

Danielle nodded, "They knew you would be here tomorrow. I didn't tell them you were coming tonight or I never would have gotten them to bed. Forget Santa Claus. They have been counting down sleeps till Aunt Annie gets here." Annie grinned from ear to ear. "Please tell me you have ice cream in this massive house." Danielle grinned mischievously and pointed, "in the freezer..." Annie turned to her right and walked around the long tan marble island to open the stainless steel freezer door. "Rocky Road" she said with a grin as she turned to set the cardboard container the island counter behind her. Danielle came to stand beside Annie holding up two metal utensils in her hands, "I have spoons." Annie chuckled, "What, you didn't want to eat with a spatula?" Danielle rolled her eyes remembering the last time they ate ice cream together in the house in Georgetown. She spoke with a voice laced with sarcasm, "Nooo" as she leaned down and placed her elbows on the counter beside Annies.

Michael came in right as Annie stuffed her mouth, "Well that didn't take long." He chuckled at the two blonde women in front of him and walked around to his wife to kiss her goodnight before retreating to his bedroom.

Annie saw the residual redness on her sisters cheek from the kiss, "So, uh...things going well with you two?" Danielle playfully slammed her hip into Annies side and chuckled before returning to her ice cream. They ate in happy silence for a moment before Annie turned to drop her spoon in the sink, "Danielle, did you tell dad that I...that I died? Is that why he got worse and you didn't move him out here?"

He sister froze and stood slowly turning to face Annie, "Michael?" Annie nodded and Danielle sighed, "No, he wouldn't have understood or remembered he had a daughter so his doctors said it was best to just not tell him. He had a stroke around the time you faked your death. He is not doing well so we all decided it was best, for everyone, if he just stayed in Virginia."

Annie nodded and reached to give her sisters arm a squeeze, "I understand." Letting out a deep sigh she continued, "It's late, I'm going to turn in." She started to head to the back door that opened to a pool area behind which the guesthouse stood but spun around before opening the door, "Oh, what time do the girls wake up?"

"They're out of school so hopefully not until 8, but I will start breakfast at 7."

Annie smiled, "Okay, I will see you at 7."

Danielle nodded and watched Annie walk out to the guesthouse. She noted her sisters steps were heavier than normal and knew it was because they had the same thoughts and memories running though their minds. Their dad who cheated on their mom when they were kids, was absent and became an alcoholic when they were teens, and had early on-set of Alzheimers that manifested a year after Danielles wedding. He hadn't remembered he even had daughters, not for the past 6 years. The memories made Danielles stomach ache. She clamped her eyes shut and breathed deeply pushing them out of her conscious mind before heading up to bed.

Back in D.C...

It was almost eleven when the three Campbells returned. They were drained from socializing and ready to be home. Joan went straight upstairs to change and feed McKenzie leaving Arthur to bring the Christmas gifts into the house. Half an hour later he came upstairs to find his wife who had put on a silk night dress and removed her makeup and was now putting their happily fed son into his pajamas. Joan picked him up off the changing table and started to bring him to the bedroom but Arthur stopped her, "Put him down in here tonight." Her eyes widened in shock, "He's only a month old and hasn't been sleeping well...I don't..." Arthur interrupted her, "He will be fine and the baby monitor is set up in here." She gave him a confused glare, "Why do I need the baby monitor?" He ignored her question and bent down to kiss his sleepy baby boy goodnight. When he stood again to his full height his blonde wife was still glaring at him, "Put him down, grab the monitor and come downstairs. Trust me." She reluctantly agreed.

It was dim downstairs and Joan could hear the burning wood in the fireplace cracking and popping as she walked down the hall clutching the baby monitor. Rounding the corner she found her husband standing beside a pallet of blankets and pillows he had put together on the floor in front of the glowing fireplace. A few candles were lit around the room. Her mouth was slightly open in shock when she met his gaze, "You said you wanted to curl up with me and a glass of wine in front of the fireplace...?" He said with a question in his voice as he brought both hands from behind his back revealing a bottle of her favorite wine and two glasses. Joan shook her head, "Arthur."

They settled onto the pile of blankets. Arthur using the coffee table and pillows to prop himself up as his wife curled up into his side. Joan sipped on her wine and watched the flames dance over the burning wood. It was quiet. Peaceful. Letting out a sigh of contentment she tilted her blonde head up to look at her husband, "Thank you." He smiled and kissed her softly before pulling her closer to his side. They sat cuddled on the floor, reminiscing about the happy times in the past, imagining their sons future, and enjoying the feeling of being together. Both all too aware of how close they had come to never having this moment. There was a mutual, unspoken awareness of how close they came to loosing it all.

Two hours later, Joan had fallen asleep in her husbands lap and he sat stroking her hair, watching her sleep. When McKenzie's cries came over the monitor shattering the silence of the moment Joan jumped to alertness.

"Aunt Annie!" Two high pitched voices accompanied by the frantic footsteps of four little feet startled her from her cup of coffee she had been quietly drinking at the kitchen table with Danielle. "Hi, hi, hi!" She slid off the chair and knelt on the tile to catch the two girls in her arms. Tears of joy and relief threatened to dampen her eyes. She squeezed them tightly. "We missed you Aunt Annie!" said Katia, "Yes never leave us again!" Chloe tagged on. Annie held each of them at arms length, "Oh…I missed you too, so so so much but you left me remember?" She asked mischievously and began to tickle the two girls in front of her. "Aunt Annie stop it!" Chloe, who was the more ticklish of the two screeched. Annie giggled and let them catch their breaths, "My you two have grown into beautiful young ladies." She stood and measured each against herself, "Danielle you've got to stop letting my nieces grow up!"

The girls giggled when Danielle responded, "I have no control over that now do I? Okay girls, come get your pancakes."

Christmas Day...

By 10am the girls had torn through the presents under the tree. Michael was on the floor with Chloe helping her set-up her new iPod and Katia was somewhere under the pile of wrapping paper. Everyone was still dressed in pajamas and sporting bedhead. Annie and Danielle sat beside each other on the couch across from the fireplace and twelve foot Christmas tree sipping hot cocoa, laughing at the un-folding events of the morning, and planning the schedule for the remainder of the day "Michaels parents live half an hour north of here in Lafayette. We'll need to leave around 4. Dinner will be served at 5."

Annie nodded indicating she understood and took a sip of her cocoa.

"So, what is Auggie doing for Christmas?" Danielle asked feigning innocence.

Annie shot her an annoyed look, "He is with his family."

Danielle made a fish face at Annie before sipping her hot cocoa again. Katia had now gathered all the wrapping paper she could hold in her arms and threw it at Annie, catching her by surprise. Annie chuckled and handed her mug to Danielle, "Oh, I'm gonna get you!" she playfully yelled as Katia ran down the hall screeching with Annie close behind her.

Later that evening the entire Brooks family, along with Annie, were dressed in festive formal-wear and warm winter coats. Remembering her sisters comment about the "very Catholic" in-laws she had chosen a sleeveless black knee-length dress with lace detailing on the neckline. The girls were dressed in red and looked like two Christmas princesses. Michael wore a suit and Danielle in a deep emerald green sheath dress. It reminded Annie of one Joan wore.

They were warmly greeted by Michaels mom, Claudia Brooks at the entrance of the Brooks family home. Michaels father was an affluent banker and Claudia was a history professor at UC Berkeley. A faculty friend of hers at the University of California in San Francisco helped Michael find employment doing research on the schools Healthcare Policy grant along with teaching a handful of graduate level classes there. The grand house made Danielle and Michaels home look as small as Annie's M-Street apartment. When you enter the front door you are immediately met by two winding staircases that lead up to the breezeway on the second story connecting the two wings of the house. The banisters were decorated with lights and garland. A Christmas tree was centered in the foyer and was decorated as elaborately as the rest of the house. Annie felt like she was entering the home of Jolly Old Saint Nick himself.

Claudia in her deep red evening gown pulled Annie into a conversation shortly after they had arrived.

"I haven't seen you in years Anne, you haven't aged a day."

With no one to rescue her from the conversation Annie graciously thanked the woman and returned the compliment. "Michael told us what happened to you in Copenhagen. That must have been terribly frightening. You have had such a rough year." The womans voice was laced with pity. "It was certainly a difficult experience but I'm back and everything is working itself out." Annie responded in as politically correct a manner as she could.

"What have you and Danielle been up to since you arrived?"

"Well, we went into the city the day after I flew in and drove across the Golden Gate Bridge, ate in Chinatown and rode a trolley car." Annie grinned remembering how nervous Danielle had been about the girls riding the trolley in the cold weather. Annie had joked they would just turn into frozen popsicles stuck on the trolley hand-rails. Chloe and Katia thought Annie joke was hilarious, Danielle was not impressed. "Then the girls had a holiday play at their school so I got to see them perform the night before last."

"Yes, we wanted to come see that but Tom had already agreed to being at the Mayors Christmas party."

"Oh, that's unfortunate, they were brilliant."

Claudia smiled politely, "I'm sure they were. So, Michael tells us you work for the National Archives now?"

Annie nodded and took a sip of the champagne in her glass, "I do. I started last week actually."

"Now that must be absolutely fascinating for you with your linguist background."

"It is, I..."

"You know I am a historian here at Berkeley?" She spit out only giving Annie time to nod, "I understand you are working on finding a letter in Russia? I specialize in Eastern European history at the university and would love to help you track it down."

Annie raised a suspicious eyebrow at her, "How do you...?"

Again interrupting the girl, Claudia waved a hand and fluttered on, "Michelle Biram was one of my students years and years ago. She seems to have done very well for herself. A few weeks ago she asked me to help her track down the last known location of the Polesti letter, sorry to say I haven't been much help but you are a bright young woman. Perhaps you will be able to retrieve it." She sighed and looked about the room, "Now, I must tell cook it is time to serve dinner.

Annie nodded and watched the woman in crimson disappear into the kitchen. Danielle came and stood beside her, "That seemed to go better than last time." Annie's thoughts were in another world and it took her longer to respond than Danielle liked, "Annie!" She said firmly startling the girls attention to her and asking cautiously, "It did go well…didn't it?"

Annie shook her head, "Oh, yeah, yeah, she, we talked about work." Danielle raised an eyebrow, "Work or work?" The first word in a light tone, the second in a quiet deep one. Annie put a re-assuring hand on Danielles shoulder and mimicked the light tone, "Work...Excuse me for a minute, I need to make a quick phone call." Danielle nodded and Annie excused herself to the empty library across the hall.

"Walker? Did you call just to wish me a Merry Christmas. I am flattered"

Ignoring his attempt at flirting, Annie cut straight to the chase, "Hey Auggie. I just had a strange conversation with Michaels mother about my job."

"Your NOC?" he asked slightly worried.

"Yeah, at the archives, but it was strange, like Michelle had briefed the woman on everything I was working on. Did you know Claudia Brooks was Michelles professor?"

"Annie, I wouldn't worry about it. You are just on edge. Breathe, end enjoy your last day in California. I will look into it once I get back to D.C. tomorrow."

"Thanks Auggie. And Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too Walker. See you in a couple of days." Annie stowed her phone away and quickly made it to the dining room where Claudia had just announced dinner was going to be served.

Annie entered the room with the luggage carousels and stood waiting for her bag. Her small carry-on, even after being emptied of the girls presents, was not enough to take back all of the gifts her sister and brother-in-law had given her. She had borrowed Danielles suitcase and now stood waiting along with everyone else that had been on the flight into D.C. She unlocked her phone to text and let Joan know she had landed but saw a message from her telling her to turn around. Doing so she saw the three Campbells a few yards behind her out of the way of the mob of passengers. Abandoning the luggage carousel for a moment she walked to greet them.

"Well hey!" She briefly hugged Joan and Arthur asked what her bag looked like before going to retrieve it for her. McKenzie was babbling in his mothers arms. "How was California?"

Annie smiled, "It was great. How was your holiday?"

Joan nodded and looked down at her son, "Much more exciting with this little man. Here, you hold him so I can find the keys."

Annie took McKenzie and gave him an Eskimo kiss, "Hey Mack. How was your first Christmas?" He smacked his lips and Annie nodded as if she understood, "Yes, mine was wonderful too." Joan chuckled at their interaction after finding the keys buried deep in McKenzies diaper bag.

Arthur walked back with Annies bag trailing behind him, "This the right one?"

Annie glanced down and nodded. Joan spoke up, "Okay, then let's get out of here."

Arriving at the Campbells car, Annie put McKenzie in his car-seat and settled into the back-seat behind Joan and Arthur.

"Annie?" Joan twisted in the passenger seat of the car and turned to face her blonde operative, "Why don't you un-pack and come over for dinner? Then you can tell us about San Francisco, and we can update you on a few things. I'm assuming you don't have plans?"

Annie shook her head, "No, I don't but..."

Joan smiled with satisfaction and turned to face the road, "Great. Just let me know when you're on your way" She quickly ended the conversation as they arrived at Annies apartment.

Annie set her jaw and rolled her eyes.

Half an hour later she was nearly finished un-packing when her phone rang. Picking it up she expected it to be Joan asking her to grab something on her way over but, it was a number she hoped she would never again see flash across her eyes. Every emotion she had kept packed away threw themselves at the lid of the box they were locked in threatening to completely take-over Annies body. Gritting her teeth she swallowed them down. After staring at the digits for a moment her thumb tapped green and she took the call.

Special shout out to cherithcutestory2 who helped me with my research on the Bay Area! :) If you haven't read her story, "The Auggie Chronicles" you haven't lived and need to ASAP!

Chapter 20

Anne Catherine Walker.

God has favored me.

Innocent.

That's what her name meant but lying there curled on her side watching the sunset behind the D.C. skyline she felt anything but favored, anything but innocent. The phone sitting on her dresser had vibrated violently for the past two hours. She knew it was Joan wondering where she was. Probably her sister after getting the same call Annie had gotten however many hours ago. Now, the phone was still, her room silent, the city outside her window was beginning to fall asleep. She didn't want to move, didn't want to think, didn't want to feel. She wanted to understand but the emotional and cognitive effort required to think through what the news implied was too much so she settled for numbness.

The silence was broken by a pounding on her door but she didn't move. Didn't flinch. "Annie?!" Auggies panicked voice filled her small apartment, "Annie, I know you're in there and I know about your dad."

Her dad.

Warm, silent tears began to fall down the well-worn paths on her cheek. "Damnit Annie, let me in." She silently screamed in her head, No, Go away! He silenced and she thought perhaps she had actually yelled aloud and he had obeyed. A light scratching sound told her the opposite. He was picking the lock. She groaned on the inside knowing it was a matter of minutes before he was inside her sanctuary of silence.

The knob turned and the door hinges squeaked as he slowly pushed it open. Using this cane he swept the area in front of him. Damn Auggie you should've pulled the apartment layout. He had never been in her apartment, and had no idea how it was laid out. He shut and locked the door behind him and began slowly and methodically working his way through the space starting with the wall on his right. It ended shortly after it began. Feeling a counter he knew the kitchen was on his right he walked a few paces forward and his hand found a tall bar-stool then his cane hit the corner of what he felt a moment later to be a couch. He ran his cane along the floorboard on his left. Feeling it dip into a doorway he turned and entered the room. He could hear Annies shallow breathing coming from ahead and to the right of the doorway. Tapping his phone he sent Joan a quick text telling her he found Annie before slowly walking toward the sound of her breathing. The end of his cane hit the foot of the bed that was opposite to the bedroom door. Based on the sound, she was on the right side so he bent over and felt around the left side of the bed until he found the nightstand and headboard. His earpiece beeped announcing an incoming text from Joan Campbell. He pressed the button on the device so it would read it, "Keep me updated."

Auggie removed the earpiece and left it on the nightstand. He put his cane down on the floor parallel to the bed and climbed up onto it, "Annie?" He heard her breath catch but she didn't respond in words. He gently ran his hand across the bed until he found her curled up on her side facing away from him. Auggie started moving toward her but paused, unsure of what the right thing to do was. He knew she wanted space, wanted him to leave, but he also knew she needed him there. Needed someone there and he was hoping that he was that person. Taking a deep breath he finished weighing his options and determined to hold her. Regardless of how she reacted. He laid himself down behind her and pulled her body against his. Surprisingly she didn't fight him. She let him wrap his arm around her. Let him hold her close. Auggie let out a relieved sigh and whispered, "I'm so sorry Annie." His words induced a series of sobs that shook her entire frame. The right arm wrapped around her tightened and held her close until she cried herself to sleep.

Her phone vibrating on the table beside the bed brought her out of deep sleep. When her eyes first flickered open she thought maybe it had all been another one of her nightmares, but Auggies warm body behind her and his long arm around her waist was evidence it wasn't a nightmare this time.

Her father was dying.

Still, his arm around her felt right. Felt safe. She noticed he still had his coat on. They had fallen asleep on top of the covers, neither had moved since he settled into bed behind her the night before. Annie was still facing the window that overlooked the city beyond her patio. It was dark outside now. The sun hadn't come up yet. The vibrating sound pulled her out of her muse. Annie didn't want to move but she didn't want the phone to wake him so she slowly and carefully slid out from under his arm and picked up the phone. A sob rose in her throat when she saw the caller ID. Sitting on the edge of the bed she heard Auggie stir behind her, "Everything okay?"

"It's the number for his assisted living home."

Auggie sat up, "You need to answer it."

Annie nodded and took the call, "Hello? It is." She gasped at the news. It was the last thing she expected to hear. Auggie used his right hand to find her back to him. He moved closer and wrapped an arm around her waist. She was tense, her breathing was steady but it was a forced calm. "I understand." Ending the call she peeled Auggies arm away to stand and walk around to the other side of the bed so she had more room to pace the floor and sort out her emotions.

"Your dad?"

A half sob, half laugh escaped her lips, "If you can even call him that. He is apparently lucid this morning and wants to see me. The man hasn't known who me or Danielle are in years and now he wants to see me. Ten hours ago, he was dying and not gonna make it through the night...now..." She scoffed and gave the heavy bag hanging in the corner a solid blow.

Auggie was now fully alert and awake. Turning his body around to his side of the bed he hung his long legs off the side and let his head follow the sound of her heavy footsteps, "You're angry with him."

"No"

"I think your heavy bag and neighbors below you would say otherwise."

"I'm not angry."

"So go see him"

"Auggie, That's why I'm not angry with him I don't let myself think about him, I don't see him or talk to him. I can count on one hand how many times Danielle and I have talked about him in the past six years. We try to make him not exist."

"Maybe that's why you should go"

Annie paused the frantic path she was making in the carpet and glared at the man sitting on the edge of her bed. Auggie felt her un-divided attention shift to him so he took the moment to justify his suggestion, "Have you ever wondered why? Why do we try to forget? Why do we think it's a good thing to bury these things? When these things become so much a part of who we are. Annie, you need to go. If you don't you will just ignore it again and never move past it."

Blind or not he felt her intense glare. If looks could kill, Auggie knew he would be a dead man. He reached down with his right arm to where he had set his cane down the night before. Finding it he retrieved it and his earpiece on the nightstand before standing and pulled his phone out of his pocket, "Go pack an overnight bag. You're going to see him and I am going with you." Annie opened her mouth to argue but Auggie kept talking to shut her up, "I need to make a few calls. When I walk back in here, you need to be ready to go."

He started sweeping his cane and exited the bedroom leaving her to herself. Blinking back tears she headed to her closet to pack a bag. Auggie stood still just outside the bedroom until he heard her shuffle around and start packing. It was just after 4am but the calls couldn't wait. He sighed and started dialing the numbers to wake up the people he needed to.

Half an hour later Annie was driving toward Virginia beach where the Home for Veterans with Alzheimer's was. They rode in complete silence. Annie alone with her thoughts and Auggie alone with his worries about the woman sitting a few feet away from him.

It was just after 9am when they pulled into the parking lot. The week before she left the country to travel the world was the last time she had been here. Nothing had changed. The house was a massive two story, yellow building with four white columns lining the front porch. "I came here to see him before I started traveling, just before I met Ben." Auggie shifted uneasily at the name. Annie wrung her hands in her lap and went on, "He thought I was his nurse. Had no idea I was his daughter."

Auggie hung his head, "I'm so sorry Annie."

The blonde beside him exhaled sharply. She had forgotten how heavy the atmosphere was there. It was a sunny morning. Clear skies, but the yellow walls held-in a haunting reality. Not knowing what the home was for you could've driven by it and thought it was a quaint, happy beach home not an assisted living home for people slowly loosing their grip on reality.

For people forgetting.

Annie wished she could forget.

"You need to understand, it is terminal lucidity. He isn't going to recover. It is like his body has a surge of last minute energy to remember the wrongs he wants to right before he passes." Opala looked up at the pale-skinned woman standing before her wondering what the source of the pain behind her eyes was.

Annie forced her wondering eyes to meet the Native-American womans dark brown eyes. Her fathers caregiver, Opala, was a short, thick woman with dark leathery skin and coarse hair braided over her shoulder. She wore white scrubs and had a lanyard around her neck. The lanyard held her ID and had ten or so colourful butterflies clipped onto it. The bright colours in such stark contrast to the dark of death, Annie had noticed them the moment they walked in the door. Now they had stopped a few feet away from his room so she could tell Annie what to expect.

"I understand" her voice felt small as it resounded off of her vocal chords.

"Will your sister not be joining you?" She asked eying the blind-man holding her elbow.

"No." Annie offered no explanation.

"Miss Walker…"

"Annie, call me Annie please."

The woman nodded and looked up at the blonde woman with narrow eyes, "I don't know what your history with him has looked like. I know there is pain on both sides, I know this is hard for you both but, whatever is causing this conflict in you two, you need to address it before it is too late." Annies eyes wondered down the hall to stare out the window at the end. The woman took Annies pale hands in her hard, dark, calloused ones, "This is your chance for reconciliation and closure..." Annies eyes came back down the hall to meet the womans. She gave Annies hand a squeeze and an encouraging smile before letting her go an disappearing down the hall.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

Annie shook her head before remembering who shw as taling too. She turned and whispered, "No...but stay close?"

He nodded and ran a thumb across her cheek.

Annie was no stranger to death. She had seen multiple dead bodies, but there was something different about a person lying there who expected death and was, in a way, waiting for it to come. The room smelled heavy. The blinds were drawn leaving no evidence of the bright, sunny December day outside. Paul Walker was lying on his back on the bed in the middle of the room. Annie hadn't seen him in six years but he had aged twenty. His hairline had receded, and he was now nearly bald. The deep lines in his face had dug deeper into his skin. The man had lost weight. His frame only a shadow of the man from her childhood she remembered. Tall, blonde hair, dressed in his army uniform. His broad strong shoulders that he used to hoist her up on were now narrow. He looked so small, so weak. She almost felt compassion for him. His breaths were shallow and he had not yet noticed his daughter standing beside him. If it weren't for the steady beeping of the equipment in the room Annie wouldn't have believed he was alive. She wrapped her arms around herself an opened her mouth to whisper his name but the words didn't come. Paul finally sensed her presence and slowly opened his eyes, "Annie?"

She swallowed hard and nodded.

His voice was low and raspy, "I didn't think you would come. Is Danielle, is she here?"

Annie shook her head.

Paul let out a weak sigh and Annie found her voice, "Why am I here?"

"To say goodbye."

Annie bit her cheek and glared at him, "Since when do you say goodbye?" Her mind flashed back to the morning she woke up and he was gone. They would see him a handful of times after that. Graduations, weddings, and at every big life event he was cold, hard, and drunk.

"Annie will you sit?"

"No." Her response was harsh, her stance stubborn.

A tear fell from his eye, "I know you're angry and you have every right to be….."

"You're right I do. You left us. Then conveniently forgot all of it." Her body shook with anger.

"I know and that is why I wanted to see you. I remember. Annie will you sit down, please?"

She let out a shaky breath and pulled the chair from the corner to sit at his bedside. Her posture was rigid as she awaited his explanation.

"I want to ask your forgiveness." His voice cracked and the single tear that had fallen was accompanied by a steady stream. Annie had never seen him cry. "The night I left, the night I abandoned you, I came home drunk. Your mom….asked where I had been and I told her the truth. We got angry and I…I hit her. Hard." His features were full of shame and regret. He took a long pause to catch his breath. "I surprised myself, the way my anger took over. She told me to leave and I knew it was best if I did. I drank to forget what I had done to her, to you girls. My memory slipping was like a blessing at first... I didn't want to remember."

"It's too late to make it right."

"Maybe, but I hoped we could…."

"Hoped we could what? Come to a point of reconciliation? Catch up on life?" Her tone was no longer weak with emotion, it was fierce with anger. "You want to die in peace?" She was panting, her anger using all of the oxygen in her lungs, "I will never be able to forgive you."

"Annie I am sorry. I hope you know I love you, you're my daughter and…."

She stood abruptly, "No, I haven't been your daughter for a long time. I'm sorry but I'm not doing this."

Turning she left his room. She heard him call her name but ignored it. She saw Auggie rise to comfort her but ran past him. She couldn't breathe in that building. Opala watched her swiftly exit and come to rest on a rocking chair on the porch. He blind partner was slowly making his way down the hall she had just torn through. Opala offered him a lead, "She is very angry." He nodded as he followd her, "He abandoned her and her sister, I can't say I blame her." The woman paused and looked up at his blank eyes, "I know she is hurt, but he won't be here long. Forgiveness is for her as much as it is for him." Auggie nodded in agreement, "I know. I'll talk to her." Opala continued toward the door Annie had burst through before giving him a brief description of the decks layout and leaving them alone.

"Annie?" He asked quietly and cautiously.

"It's not fair. He thinks because he's dying he can just come back into my life and expect me to call him daddy and forgive him. It's not fair."

"No it isn't and it isn't fair for you to live the rest of your life angry. If you don't let this go if you don't forgive that man you will regret not taking advantage of this moment for the rest of your life. Forgiving him doesn't dismiss what he did but it, it lets you live beyond what he did." She let out an exasperated sigh. "Annie please try..."

Annie ran a hand through her hair and looked up at the man standing in front of her. "I hate him." Auggie nodded with understanding and opened his arms motioning for her to come to him. She stood and wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest. He stroked her hair and held her as she cried. "You're exhausted Annie, lets go check-in to the hotel. We can come back later. If you want too." She nodded and led him back to the Corvette.

They did return, later that afternoon after getting a call he had slipped into a coma and it wouldn't be long. Annie woke from her nap with some clarity and surprised Auggie when she willingly returned to her fathers bedside. This time making him come with her. He sat in a chair against the wall while she sat in a chair pulled to rest against his bed. As she watched him breathe slowly, watched him slipping further and further away from her. She let herself remember. Remember the time spent traveling around the country and around the world. Every new place he would paint as a new adventure for them. Those earlier experiences shaped her into who she was today. He love of languages and travel, her passion to see justice in the world. For all his failures he had given her that. Given her a belief tomorrow would be better than today. As much as she hated him, she knew Auggie was right. Forgiveness wasn't about negating what he did to her, it was about freeing her to move past what he did.

In slow motion she reached for his hand. It was limp but warm. Annie scooted to the edge of her seat and leaned to whisper in his ear, "Dad...I forgive you." Annie thought she saw his lips twitch to form a smile then suddenly the steady beeping flat lined into a blaring siren. Annie stood and squeezed his hand leaning over his face. "No, you can't go….." She reached for his shoulders and shook his limp body, "You can't...You can't leave me yet!" She was yelling but she didn't care. "You can't abandon me again!" In an instant anger turned to grief and a steady stream of tears began to flow down on her cheeks. Auggie stood and found her leaning over the bed. Using his strong arms he pulled her off of her father and wrapped her in his arms. She violently fought his embrace but quickly realized his strength would win so she became still and melted into him. Opala ran into the room hearing the commotion and turned off the monitors. She covered Pauls face with the sheet as she said a prayer. Auggie had relaxed his grip on Annie and she took the moment to rip herself out of his arms and leave the room.

Auggie shouted after her, "Annie!" Opala walked around the bed to offer him a lead, "I will find her." Walking him over to a couch in the foyer she left him sitting there and turned to find his blonde friend.

Annie walked down the boardwalk to the beach and sat herself on the sand. It was cold and she had no coat but she didn't care. Pulling her knees to her chest she watched the waves wash over the shore as waves of grief washed over here. Opala had watched her journey out to the beach through the floor to ceiling window and slowly followed behind taking time to put on her own coat and grab a blanket for the grieving daughter. She watched Annie from a few yards away until she saw her shoulders cease to shake with sobs. Opala sighed and moved to drop the blanket over her shoulders and to sit beside the young blonde. Annie pulled the cloth closer around her but her eyes never left the water. Opala let the girl continue to ignore her persistent presence. Annie broke the silence, "He is gone forever now." The dark head beside her nodded, "Yes."

Opala un-clipped a small green butterfly from her lanyard and reached for Annies clenched fist. Carefully she pried it open and placed it into Annies hand. Annie looked at the object then the woman with a confused stare.

"There is a legend of the Lenape people that the Creator made butterflies after people experienced the sadness of death. Their sorrow made him sad so he created something new using all of the colours of the world that he had gathered. The butterflies brought joy back to the people. These little birds carry all of the colours of the world in silence. They are meant to be a reminder of the joys in life. Of the freedom of joy. The sorrow and darkness can only last so long. Morning will come, and with it colour and joy. A new day. A new beginning."

Annie listened to her words and turned the butterfly over in her hand.

"Your father loved you Annie." The girls eyes met Opalas. "And he cared enough about you to try to make things right. Never forget that."

Annie nodded and leaned over into Opalas open arms. The woman stroked Annies blonde hair and held her as she sobbed, "Oh, Shh, Shh, it will be okay Annie. You will be okay."

"Are you ready?"

Annie glanced once more at the casket and nodded as she tapped the back of Auggies hand. Finding her elbow covered by her black trenchcoat he followed her lead out of the graveyard. Opening her clenched fist she stared down at the the green butterfly that Opala had placed in her hand 48 hours ago. Danielle and Michael had already said their goodbyes and left. Annie knew they would be halfway to the airport by now. She and Auggie slid into the back-seat of the Camapbells Land-Rover with McKenzies car seat between them. Annie reached her hand and let him grasp her finger. Silently watching the baby as the rode across town the priests words echoed in her mind,

"Grant this mercy, O Lord, we beseech Thee, to Thy servant departed, that he may not receive in punishment the requital of his deeds who in desire did keep Thy will, and as the true faith here united him to the company of the faithful, so may Thy mercy unite him above to the choirs of angels.

Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."

There was no viewing. There were no speeches from the pulpit of a church made to a congregation of family and friends. Just the six of them and a priest meeting at the grave. It felt like a dream to Annie. Like she was having an out of body experience. She never imagined grieving her fathers death. She was tired of death. This year had been full of it. Jai, Simon, Teo, Henry, Helen, in a way, Jessica, and now her father.

"May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace."

Mercy of God. Looking down at the baby boy she saw mercy, peace. She had chosen to forgive her father. She held his hand as he passed. She had relayed his apology to her sister and cried with her until they ran out of tears. Now she had walked away from his grave. But she hadn't yet found peace. What scared her the most was the feeling of isolation. Knowing she was home, safe and not literally alone but still isolated by her grief, by her experiences.

"The sorrow and darkness can only last so long. Morning will come"

Opalas words echoed in her mind. Looking at the butterfly she wondered how long the darkness would last.

Joan watched Annie and Auggie get out of the car and walk into Annie's apartment building. Her operatives eyes were blank. Her posture was rigid like she had just received an order she didn't agree with. The timing of Paul Walkers death frustrated Joan. It was is if Annie had been thrown back into the darkness she had just begun to emerge from and this time it wasn't her and Arthurs place to help her find her way out. It was Auggies and as happy as she was that Annie had let him back in her life she worried now more than ever. Arthur sensed her tension and reached to take her hand as they drove away, "She will be okay."

"What makes you so sure?" she tilted her head to the side and pleaded for an explanation with her eyes.

"She is a survivor and she has Auggie. Love is a powerful thing."

Joan nodded and looked ahead with a weak smile, "But will it be powerful enough?"

He squeezed her hand and ran his thumb over her wedding band, "It was for us."

Chapter 21

Upon waking, it took Auggie a moment to remember where he was and why he was lying so close to the edge of the bed. Realization hit him, he was at Annies. Reaching for the nightstand he retrieved his watch to discover it was just after 6am. He yawned and stretched his long frame out on the bed discovering it completely empty except for him. Auggie wondered how long she had been up. He then let out a low groan as his neurons started firing the signals that reminded him of all of the missions in play and everything that needed to be done. Calder had covered for him so he could help Annie with the funeral, but today he was going to have to go into the office. All day. Leaving Annie alone with her grief. All Day.

They came back from the funeral the night before and she had barely spoken a word since except to give him permission to sleep in her bed instead of on the couch. He had insisted on staying with her since her father died. For two reasons one being he worried less with her close and two it was an excuse to be with her. She had every right to be guarded and un-sure about him but there had to come a day she would stop pushing him away and realize a life with Helen was not what he awanted. He wanted Annie. Only Annie.

Hearing her in the kitchen shuffling around he grabbed his slacks and button-down from his bag and found his way into the bathroom where he changed into his work clothes form his pajama pants and t-shirt.

Entering the kitchen fully dressed he moved toward the sound of her pouring a cup of what he smelled to be coffee.

"Morning Walker."

Annie walked toward him and put the mug in his hand before picking up her own and leaning against the counter.

"I have to go into Langely today. Will you be okay here on your own?"

She gave him a weak smile that he couldn't see but she knew would help her tone sound more convincing, "I'll be fine. I'm not staying here all day anyway. I need to go to the archives."

Using his hand he felt the counter to find an empty space to set his cup down. Crossing his arms over his chest he pointed his face toward the opposite side of the kitchen where her voice was coming from. "You don't have to go in. Michelle said you could work from home as long as you needed too."

"I know but I'm trying to build a solid NOC and she doesn't trust me. The more I'm in the office the faster she will be comfortable with me." Annie sipped her coffee then held the warm mug by her stomach.

"Do you even have any new leads on the letter?"

"I do."

He raised an surprised eyebrow, "You do?"

"I do. It was purchased by a man using a false name, Sergei Nomanov. That is where Claudia and Michelle hit a dead end. They didn't connect him to the other purchases he has made across Eastern Europe. I followed his movements, his money, and found his real name, Octavian Popescu."

"And when did you do all of this research?"

Annie sighed, "Last night. I couldn't sleep."

Auggies brow furrowed as he scolded himself. How did he not hear her get out of the bed? How is it even possible he didn't realize she was gone?

"Great, write up a report or whatever it is you do and stay here so you can rest. Better yet come hang out at Langley with me for the day. It's gonna be a long one. I might be there all night." His tone held sarcasm but Annie's anger was quickly creeping into her tone of voice.

"Auggie I don't need you to entertain me or act as my overnight babysitter. I need to work. I need something to do other than sit in this quiet apartment all day." Regret stabbed her gut immediately after she realized the effect her words had on the man standing across from her. She was trying to trust him and didn't want to push him away but it seemed to be all she did lately.

Auggie stepped forward and grasped her elbows, "I'm sorry you feel smothered. I'll go home tonight whenever we finish up." He paused as if waiting for her to ask him to stay but she was silent so he let out a deep sigh, "And Annie, I'm not gonna argue with you because I know it won't do any good, but, just promise me you won't overdo it?"

Annie nodded, "I'd promise but I'm fine."

Auggies cell phone in the bedroom began announcing he had an incoming call. "That's Langley."

Pouring the rest of her coffee down the sink Annie glanced up at him one more time, "You should take it" as she headed into the bathroom to get ready for the day.

Annie arrived at the archives just after 8am. Her small, dark, musty office just the way it had been when she left it. Sitting down at her desktop she busied herself typing up a report for Michelle. The night before she had emailed another analyst to get a template for the report. Half an hour later she took the freshly printed report and left it with Michelles secretary. The busy work was successful in keeping her mind from wandering. As long as she wasn't still the memories and the grief were manageable.

Back in her office she started looking for a way to contact Popescu. Normally she would give the name to Auggie or Barber and they would just find him for her. When she was dark however, she had to get creative as she lacked Langley as a resource. She rested her elbows on the edge of the antique desk and her forehead in her palms as she tried to think of a legal, legitimate way to find the information she needed. Her thoughts were interrupted by Michelle Biram bursting through her office door.

"Octavian Popescu?" She said in an annoyed tone.

"Morning Michelle."

The woman didn't return her greeting but instead forged on digging deeper into the file she had read, "He purchased the letter?"

Annie held back a grin feeling thankful for the way Michelle treated her like a normal person. Everyone had been walking on egg-shells with her and this woman seemed to not be worried at all. Michelle Biram was her same, harsh, all-business self. It was a relief to Annie. "You already knew that." She responded with a smirk on her face.

"I did?" Her eyebrow was lifted over her dark eye that glared at Annie.

"The information you got from Claudia Brooks about the buyer wasn't a dead end." Annie used the moment to inquire on how Claudia knew all about her. She looked at the woman suspiciously. "She was your professor?"

Michelle looked up from the file, "Yes. I realized your relation to her when I read over your Smithsonian personnel file. Sorry. I should've told you."

Shaking her head dismissively Annie went on, "No, I mean, it would've saved me an awkward conversation over cocktails but nothing too…." Michelle's annoyed glare urged Annie to get back to business "….sorry, the Russian name, Sergei Nomanov pops up all over eastern Europe making purchases. Everything from historical artifacts, to modern art, to ancient weaponry. I looked at the account information used by Sergei when he made each purchase and followed the money to his real name, Popescu. He's your buyer."

"But likely not the letters final destination."

Annie shook her head, "No. I'm looking into who he may have sold it too. It would be easier if I knew how much he got for the letter."

"Your sisters mother-in-law could probably give you a pretty accurate appraisal."

Annie looked up with feigned surprise, "I wasn't sure I could talk to her about this….I'm new to this whole clearance thing but isn't the letter classified? So I can't tell her?"

Michelle shook her head, "Claudia has a clearance and since we need her help she has need to know." Michelle looked down at her watch, "It's only 5am there. Call her in three hours? Then go home Annie."

Annie looked up at her, "Go home? I was going to…."

The short, intimidating dark-haired woman in front of her interrupted Annies argument fiercely, "You're boyfriend told me about your loss, and while I am glad to have you back this is work you can do from home."

Annie started to argue, "I'm really…"

"I know you're fine…." Her interruptions were beginning to annoy Annie, "…humor me. Call Claudia, go home and rest. I don't want you to burn yourself out." Waving the file in the air she grinned at the blonde, "You're good at this." Annie weakly smiled back and watched Michelle close the door behind her. So much for being like a normal human being. Michelle Biram did not strike Annie as one to send anyone home early, ever. It's not that she particularly wanted to be there in that dusty old office but it was better than being in the apartment by herself. She could probably go into Langley and hide-out on a foreign-watch-desk analyzing chatter but Auggie would somehow find out she was in the building and send her home. She loathed the way everyone treated her like a china doll. It's not like she lost someone she was close too. Danielle always said Annie was their dads favorite. Mostly because she was more adventurous than her older sister. She was the tomboy and subsequently the son Paul Walker never had. But in the end, he left them both. Who was the favorite was completely irrelevant. She didn't know the man so why was she so raw? Why was letting go so hard? Annie groaned and pulled up an electronic copy of the Russian newspapers to read through until it was time to call Claudia.

"Annie I am surprised to hear from you."

"I am following up on a lead on the Ploiești letter."

"And you need my help." Claudia's tone was cocky and Annie rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Michelle said you could give me an estimate on how much the letter would have sold for."

"Why do you need to know what it sold for?"

Annie sighed. She was trying to leave as many details out of the conversation as she could but the woman was going to pry it out of Annie and the blonde CIA operative had neither the patience nor the mental capacity to deceive the woman, "The buyer you found, Sergei Nomanov..."

"Yes I got that name from the man who sold the letter but he was a ghost."

"Well, yes and no. He uses that name to purchase items all over Europe and then sell them to private collectors for a profit."

"Ah, you recognized him from your import export days?"

Annie's guard flew up, her import export NOC wasn't really a secret but it wasn't general knowledge either. "No, I cross referenced the times his name popped up with known dealers and Sergei Nomanov is really Octavian Popescu."

"Popescu? That is a Romanian name."

"It is. It's possible the letter is back in Romania. I can get access to Popescu's financials and I think if I can match an amount in his account to ..."

She interrupted, like student like teacher, "To the amount the letter could've been sold for then you can find the buyer. Clever."

"Thanks."

"I have a 9am class to teach but I will work on getting you an estimate right after I finish up. I'll have it to you by close of business my time."

"Sounds good."

"Oh, and Annie, before you go..." Annie could hear the woman's tone change and become sympathetic or more like pathetic. She braced herself mentally for the apology that made no sense to her even after hearing it over and over the past few days, "I'm so sorry for your loss."

How do you respond to that? I'm sorry for your loss. I apologize you lost someone. It's not like Claudia killed her father so why is that the socially acceptable response. "I am too. Bye Claudia."

Annie hung up the phone and suddenly getting away from the office seemed like a good idea. Getting in her car she drove toward Arlington. It was like a magnet pulling her across the Patomac. Annie drove slower and slower the closer she got. Pulling up to the gate she grabbed a parking ticket. Finding a parking spot, Annie turned the car off. When she did it was as if she lost all ability to move. She sat frozen, watching from behind her windshield.

People were milling in and out of the Arlington National Cemetery parking lot. Fewer than usual because of the cold December temperatures but enough to keep Annie entertained. She watched people hesitantly move toward their loved ones graves. They looked solemn, afraid, even sad but in control. Some emerged from the graveyard relieved, others completely devastated. The temperature in the car was quickly becoming un-comfortably cold. She thrust her hands into her trench coat pockets and felt the butterfly from Opala. Her breath caught and she quickly moved her hands back up to the steering wheel. Starting the car Annie determined she couldn't do this. Not yet. So she drove mindlessly around Arlington until it felt familiar and her mind felt clear.

Auggie sat at his desk fighting a war in his mind. One side wanted to worry about Annie, the other wanted to attack this growing mound of paperwork on his desk.

Eric Barber noticed his friends heavy silence and rolled his chair across the room until he came as close to the man as he dared, "Hey boss?"

Auggie let out a sigh and removed his headphones, "What is it Barber?" There was an edge in his voice he didn't intend to convey but it was heard by everyone in a close vicinity.

"You okay man?" Concern laced the bearded techies words.

"Yeah fine."

"Worried about Annie?"

Auggie turned the shocked expression on his face so Barber had a clear view, "Yes Barber. Now do you actually need something or are you just trying to initiate small talk?"

"Geeze Auggie, don't have to be so defensive. But since you asked...both."

"Sorry Barber, what do you need."

"Well I looked into Claudia Brooks and Michelle Biram for you."

"What did you find?" He asked leaning back into his chair and clasping his hands in his lap.

"Well, Claudia was Michelles professor for a handful of her graduate classes, and uh, Michelle was definitely the teachers pet."

Auggie sat up intrigued, "How so?"

"Well, Claudia let Michelle in on every research project she was working on. Every paper she published referenced Biram as a research assistant. And get this, Claudia knew someone who knew someone who knew the director of the National Archives who gave Michelle her first job."

"Yeah and..."

"And that's all I've got." He almost felt guilty, but not really.

"You interrupted me to tell me something I already know?"

"Like I said man, my purpose was two fold, to tell you something and initiate small talk."

Auggie rolled his eyes and pulled on his headphones, "Get back to work Barber and let me know if you find anything that I actually need to know."

Annie nearly laughed at herself when she arrived at her next destination. Not sure where to go or what to do she had let her subconscious lead the way. Navigating on pure instinct. Somehow she ended up here. Pulling up to the curb, Annie put the car in park and debated if she really wanted to knock on the door. In spite of the debate in her mind, her body seemed to have decided to go inside because the next thing she knew her fist was slamming into the cold door. The temperature made the impact of her hand on the door painful.

A few seconds later Arthur answered the door.

He quickly wiped the surprised look off his face and opened the door for Annie to come inside. Once the cold was shut behind the door Annie blew on her frozen hands and looked up at her former boss as he walked around to face her, "It is good to see you Walker. Did you take the day off work?"

Annie crossed her arms and shook her head, "No, I went in to do some cover maintenance but I'm done for the day."

"How'd it go?"

"Uh, fine. I'm making good headway on my first project."

"Good to hear. I was just about to pour myself a finger of scotch. Would you care for some?"

"Sure….Is Joan home?"

He nodded as he turned to pour their drinks, "She is but she has started napping when McKenzie does in the middle of the day. Do you need me to go get her?" He asked as he held out the glass for her to take.

Annie shook her head and looked for an excuse to leave, "Oh, no….no…I'm…actually, I'm gonna go. I was just coming by to..." He held a glass toward her and motioned for her to take it as he interrupted her, "They will wake up any minute and she will want to see you. Come sit." He motioned for her to follow him into the living room. Still wrapped in her trench coat she settled onto the couch across from him and sipped her drink. She did her best to avoid eye contact knowing he was going to ask how she was doing, how she was coping. She knew she would be forced to talk, the very thing she had been avoiding doing with Auggie for the past 72 hours so why did she come? She had no idea.

"Walker..." Annie looked at him wide-eyed with the word fine on the tip of her tongue in anticipation of the question, "...are you okay?" The cliché response never became an audible sound. Instead she silently shook her head and looked at the floor in attempt to hide the warm tears pooling behind her eyes and sighed, "I'm sorry."

Arthur set his glass down and leaned forward putting his elbows on his knees, "Why are you sorry?"

"I don't know." She said peering into the glass in her hand. It was true she had no idea what was wrong with her. When her eyes came back up to meet him the tears began spilling out onto her cheeks. She poked out her bottom lip and blew air up frustratedly as she ran a hand through her hair. "How is it I can feel so furiously angry at life but afraid of it at the same time?" What were these words coming out of her mouth? She was on the edge of an emotional breakdown. Why couldn't she keep it together?

His brow furrowed as his eyebrows arched. Concern, sympathy, understanding all crossed his face and took over his features. Setting his scotch glass down he stood and took a seat on the couch beside his former operative giving her space but letting her know he was there, "Annie, you lost your father and now you're grieving. You're gonna feel a lot of things you don't want to feel." That familiar pain of regret stabbed his heart as he remembered his son. He understood the anger and fear all too well. For the sake of the broken young woman sitting beside him, he pushed his own emotions to the back of his mind and focused on hers. "Let yourself grieve."

With bloodshot eyes, Annie glared over at him, "How do I grieve someone that I never knew? Everyone says they're sorry for my loss, my loss of what? I didn't loose anything so why does this hurt? Why do I miss the man?" Tears began to flow in a steady un-controllable stream. Arthur put an arm over her sounders and let her cry onto the arm of his sweater. He gripped her shoulder and waited for her charged emotions to subside. Annies sobs began to slow and lessen in intensity. When they did she pulled away, "I'm sorry, I..."

He shook his head, "That's what I'm here for." Annie looked away and wiped the moisture off her cheeks.

Arthur waited for her to look at him again before he continued, "Your dad loved you Annie. Dad's aren't perfect. Hell, men in general aren't perfect." Annie chuckled awkwardly and Arthur went on, "You lost far more than just an absent father this year..." He looked at her pointedly and decided to go there, "nothing hurts more than being disappointed by the single person you thought would never hurt you..." Annie's mind flashed back to Helens apartment then to Dr. Petersons comparison of her situation with Auggie to her past with her father. He was right, she had never felt so disappointed in her entire life.

"Auggie" She whispered his name and bit her lip as Arthur nodded.

"Annie, you have seen first hand what a terrible husband and father I have been. I regret I couldn't give you and Auggie a better model to look at but here is what I have learned…Disappointment, betrayal, every lie creates a wound. Even when the truth is exposed and the skin heals the deeper wound remains hidden under the skin and that is what hurts. Honesty, forgiveness, vulnerability, they go a long way in alleviating that pain."

Annie nodded and sat in silence for a moment, "Thanks"

He shook his head dismissively and stood grabbing his empty glass and hers, "Anytime. I'm gonna go check on Joan..."

Standing quickly Annie turned to face where he was walking toward the kitchen, "No, no…don't wake her. I, uh, I know she needs sleep and I need to go anyway. Tell her I stopped by?"

"You sure?"

Annie nodded and started toward the door "Yeah, I'm sure."

"Alright, I will. Oh, but Walker, Do you and have plans for new years?"

"No, I hadn't even thought about it."

"Good, Joan was gonna invite you but you and Auggie are welcome to spend New Years here. In fact I insist. Telling Joan she missed you but that I convinced you to come for the holiday will keep me out of the dog house."

Annie laughed, "Yeah I'll check with Auggie but go ahead and tell her we're coming."

His dark haired head nodded before he moved into the kitchen leaving Annie in the foyer. A moment later Arthur heard Annie let herself out the front door. Putting the glasses into the dishwasher he left the kitchen and headed upstairs to check on his wife. Reaching the landing on the second floor he turned to his left to head to their bedroom but was startled by Joan who was casually leaning against the wall where the hall met the staircase. Her arms were crossed and she had that smug grin on her face. For a moment he stuttered in surprise but quickly came to realize she likely woke when Annie knocked and had stood listening to the whole conversation. "Why didn't you come down?"

Shooting him a sly look from the corner of her eye she responded, "Because she needed to hear all that from you, not me."

"So, did I say it right?" He asked sarcastically.

Joan nodded, "You did. I underestimated your ability to read people Arthur."

He shrugged and positioned himself in front of her so she was sandwiched between him and the wall, "I am a spy"

She nodded and spoke with a sarcastic tone, "Yeah...?" He brushed a kiss over her lips and whispered, "Yeah." She kissed him back but raised an un-impressed eyebrow, "And?"

"And what?" his voice carried feigned offense, "I'm a spy, so I'm trained to read people."

Rolling her eyes she squeezed past him, "Never seemed to help you before."

Chapter 22

'Ne'er pull your hat upon your brows;

Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak

Whispers the o'erfraught heart and bids it break'

(Macbeth )

"You're still here." Annie couldn't hide her surprise when she saw Auggie standing in the hallway.

"Barely."

Annie walked and settled beside him, leaning her back against the cold marble and pursing her lips unsure of what to say.

"Barely?" She asked timidly.

"Yeah, I didn't go home last night. Been here working a problem with an operative overseas."

"What are you doing outside my therapists door?" Her brow was furrowed and the tone she meant to use flirtatiously sounded frustratingly desperate.

"I knew you had a session this morning and..." His voice trailed off and his blank eyes swept away from her voice on his left was to the floor on his right.

"And?"

"I wanted to make sure you were ok before I go home and catch some shut-eye." His blank gaze moved back up from the floor to Annies forehead.

"I'm fine. Just not looking forward to this session."

"It probably won't be a fun one."

"No...Did you get my message about..."

"...about the Campbell's tonight?"

"Yeah." She didn't know why but she felt compelled to whisper.

"Pretty sure if I don't come, Joan will fire me." His classically sarcastic tone was slowly creeping back into his heavy voice.

Annie smiled but couldn't laugh, "You don't work for her."

He unfolded his cane, "Oh, yes I do. Didn't you know, once you become Joan's padawan you remain one for the rest-of-your-life." He cracked a half grin when he heard her chuckle softly through her nose, "Pick me up at 7 Walker?"

"I can do that."

He gave an awkward smile and nodded, "Good."

"What are you thinking?" Dr. Peterson peered across the room at the silent blonde. He had let her sit there in silence for the past ten minutes. During which he read through a weeks worth of entries pausing only to survey the young woman's tense, blank stare. Although he knew she wanted to avoid discussing her father and re-living the moment she shot Henry, he knew he couldn't let her avoid either any longer. It was becoming a pattern. Her avoiding things that reminded her of the trauma. Things that reminded her of Jessica and of Wilcox. It wasn't a learned evasion technique, it was an automatic response, her brain trying to protect itself. Avoidance was a sub-conscious decision on her part but now it was time to bring it to the forefront of the conversation.

"Nothing." She looked past him at the bookshelf as she spoke. He raised an eyebrow at her. "What are you feeling?"

Annie let out a deep sigh, "Nothing...everything. Is it possible to feel so much you don't feel anything?"

"Yes, it's called grief."

"When does it stop?" She asked, her brown eyes meeting his calm grey ones, her voice teetering on the edge of frustrated and exhausted.

"When does what stop Annie?"

Frustration took over as she re-adjusted herself on the couch, "I don't...I don't know, it, grief, whatever it is."

"It takes time."

Nodding and speaking as her teeth clenched the inside of her cheek, "Yeah, like everything else."

Dr. Peterson nodded sympathetically and leaned forward, "How would you describe your grief if you had to picture it? What would it look like?"

Narrowing one eye and speaking out of the side of her mouth she mocked him, "What does grief look like?" Dr. Peterson just nodded and waited for her to indulge him, "Okay, uhhh...it feels heavy, so maybe a..." she took a deep un-steady breath, "...a rock. Like I'm pinned down and there's nothing I can do to gain a tactical advantage. It consumes me."

"Are you alone, under that rock?"

"Completely."

Dr. Peterson made a few black strokes on the yellow notepad in his lap. "We have danced around talking about your father and I have let you because there were more pressing issues we needed to deal with first but, in light of last week, today I need you to be willing to go there with me. Can you do that?"

"Can I say no?" Her tone was sarcastic and hard.

"You can. We can work through the scene with Henry in the alley instead or discuss your nightmare last night…" he handed her the spiral-bound notebook open to the last page. Taking it, Annies eyes scanned over the page as she bit her lip. "I think I would rather talk about my father."

He sat back into his chair and crossed his long legs, "Good. I need you to go back to the time you had with him in the nursing home and tell me what you were thinking and feeling."

"Okay." She sighed and took a deep breath. "When I first saw him, he was asleep, and I felt bad for him."

"Felt bad?"

"Uh, felt pity maybe? He looked so frail and weak and different. Not like my dad. It was….it was sad to see him lying there."

"What happened then?"

"He woke up, and I got angry."

"Did he say anything to you to make you angry?"

"He told me he wanted to say goodbye."

"And that made you angry? Why?"

"Because he abandoned us. Left. Never said goodbye, never explained why. So, I was angry because he felt he had the right to ask forgiveness and make me say goodbye." Her small frame began to shake as anger and adrenaline took over her body. She clenched her fists and set her jaw.

"Annie, I need you to take a deep breath." She obeyed and forced herself to calm down. After a moment of silence the anger was replaced by a deep sadness. The same emotion she had tried to run away from since the moment her father slipped away. Dr. Petersons steady voice brought her out of herself, "What happened then Annie?"

She rubbed her forehead as she shook her head, "He said he didn't want to remember us."

"I find that hard to believe."

"What?" She shot him a confused glare.

"If he didn't want to remember you he wouldn't have asked you to come. Did he really want to forget you? Let yourself remember."

Annie clenched her eyes shut and saw him in her minds-eye.

"I drank to forget what I had done to you girls. My memory slipping was like a blessing at first…I didn't want to remember."

A tear escaped her left eye as she whispered, "No"

"What did he want to forget?"

Eyes still tightly shut Annie responded, "The day he left. The pain he caused us." Her eyes flew open, "You know why I'm angry? He got to forget the pain, but we didn't. He left me and I have lived every day since aware that I wasn't good enough to make him stay while he drank himself into a stupor and got Alzheimer's and conveniently forgot it all."

"You feel responsible for him leaving?" Annie shrugged and wiped her pointer finger across her damp cheek. "So maybe you aren't so angry with him as you are with yourself? Angry you couldn't make him stay and hurt because he left you?"

"Maybe…" She whispered this time. All anger gone, as once again, sadness took over her mind.

"Did you forgive him?"

"I said I did. Right before he died. I don't know if he heard me. He was in a coma. The words were barely out of my mouth before he crashed…..but he…" She shook her head and dismissed the thought.

"He what?"

"You're really gonna think I'm crazy but….he smiled, I said it, I saw him smile, he looked relieved, peaceful, then he was gone." She sniffled and looked at the floor

"You're not crazy. Forgiveness is a powerful thing Annie. It gives you permission to move on past the pain."

She grinned and looked down at her hands, "That's what Auggie said."

"Auggie?"

She bit her lip and debated whether or not she really wanted to open this line of questioning, "I keep pushing him away. He has pursued me, given me space. He's been there for me but I have gotten really good at pushing him out."

"Why do you think that is?"

"I have no idea."

"But you're avoiding him?"

"Not him…I'm avoiding a conversation with him." He gave her a look that encouraged her to go on, "He said he loved me one night and I couldn't say it back."

"Why not?"

"I don't know."

"Because he betrayed you?" Annie shook her head, "You can hardly call cheating betraya…." Dr. Peterson interrupted, "Because he abandoned you?" She inhaled sharply, "He didn't abandon me he just let me push him away." Dr. Peterson let his voice rise slightly, "Because he cheated on you?" The blonde girl sitting across from him became quiet.

"That bothers you?"

"Yeah, he is supposed to have my back"

"Annie, you are avoiding him to protect yourself by not taking emotional risks."

"What emotional risks?"

"Trust, intimacy, not in a physical sense necessarily but letting him in on what happened while you were dark, in on your past it's a risk. You blame yourself for your father leaving, I think you blame yourself for Auggie, in a sense, leaving you as well…you said to me you trust him as a handler…you are avoiding trusting him with anything more because that would be intimacy. Are you afraid he will abandon you like your father did?"

"No, Auggie would never abandon me. He tried to find me."

"So let him in. You forgave your father, now you need to forgive Auggie and eventually yourself. Your gonna have to make peace with your past but it doesn't have to limit you. The degree to which it limits you is directly related to how closed off you stay." Annie glared at him as he brought his tone back to its normal calm and went on, "Annie, I am not even going to pretend to understand what you've gone through. The amount of grief you are dealing with is substantial, but you aren't under that rock alone." Annie looked at him suspiciously, "At least you don't have to be."

"Wow." Annie'e eyes got wide as she pulled up to the Campbells home. The car ride had been un-comfortably quiet and her sudden reaction startled Auggie in the passenger seat, "Wow what?"

"Did Joan tell you they were throwing a party?"

"Party? No. Why?"

"Cause we are definitely not the only ones here."

Auggie smirked, "There are benefits to that."

Annie put the car in park and looked over at him, "Such as?"

"Joan and Arthur, you and me, tell me you weren't worried it was gonna be awkward."

Annie shrugged and started getting out of the car, "You might have a point."

Standing he turned and plopped his cane on the roof of the car, "I always do."

Annie bit her lip and stared over the car at him. Auggie felt her gaze and bent his eyebrows, "Everything okay Walker?"

"Yeah, I just….I need to talk to you."

"Right now?"

Annie nodded and walked around the car to offer him a lead, "Yes." She led him to the hood of the car where the two sat, thankful for the heat emitting from the engine making the cold December evening bearable. Auggie sat in silence and waited for her to speak.

Once she had gathered her thoughts, Annie looked straight ahead and took a deep breath before turning to look into his concerned eyes. A smile played on her lips seeing him there. His gaze on her, blind or not, still made her heart skip a beat. "I know this year has been hard on us. We've both done things, said things that we can't take back." She sniffled and looked down at her hands, "Auggie I just, I want you to know I'm trying to trust you and to forgive you. I need you, it scares me sometimes but I do. I also know I need time to work this out, but I want to…I want to do that with you." She saw a tear pool in his eye and quickly scoured her brain for words to make his pain stop, "Auggie I…." He cut her off and found her glove-covered hand with his, "I forgive you. And I will be here. I'm not letting you go again."

Annie smiled and let a relieved sigh turned chuckle escape her lips as she wrapped her arms around the mans waist and pressed her body against his taking a moment to inhale his familiar scent.

She was home.

Auggie squeezed her closer for a moment and planted a kiss atop her blonde head, "Ready to go in?"

She stood to her full height and offered him a lead up to the house, "Yeah."

"Annie, Auggie! So glad you made it." Joan's bright blue eyes greeted the two young operatives. Picking up on their apprehension, Joan explained, "My sisters are here. It was last minute." Annie surveyed the house, they had put up a tree in the living room but everything else was just as before.

She barely had a chance to step into the house and greet Joan and the baby in her arms before a blonde woman older and taller than Joan walked straight toward Annie, "So, you two must be Annie and Auggie?" Her blonde bob brushed her strong jawline as she looked between the them.

Joan nodded and held her hand out to make introductions, "Annie, Auggie, this is my sister, Sarah." Annie smiled politely and shook the Marines hand, "I have heard a lot about you. Glad to meet you." Sarah shot Joan a suspicious glare as she shook Annies hand, "Sadly I can't say I've heard anything about you, but it's nice to meet you as well." Annie felt herself nearly blush with awkwardness. Sarah went on, "Ron, over there talking to Arthur is my husband and Mark…." Her eyes bounced around the room and she raised her voce, "Mark Anthony!" A young boy with shaggy brown hair emerged from the kitchen with a cookie in his hand and a guilty look on his face. Annie saw Sarah shoot him a glare before chuckling and turning to Annie, "And the cookie monster is our son, he is 8. Mark, these are your Aunt Joans friends, Annie and Auggie." He waved shyly and ran off to stand beside his father. Sarah chuckled and shrugged before offering Auggie a lead which surprised him but he went with it.

Entering the living room they were accosted by another blonde Joan-look-alike. This one had medium length hair and was dressed in slacks and a gold sweater, "You must be Auggie?" Her voice was significantly perkier than her two sisters and she grinned like she was on–stage to become Miss America. "And you must be Annie?"

Annie smiled and shook the womans hand, "And you are?"

"Oh my sorry, I am Elizabeth, Joans sister. But you can call me Lizzie." Annie again nodded politely and followed the womans finger as she pointed out the rest of her family, "My husband Sean is over there in the corner negotiating curfew terms with my two youngest, Ryan 18, and Lilly 16. My oldest son Ethan married this year and is with his wife's family in Texas." Annie smiled, "Congratulations." The woman nodded proudly, "Thank you. Do you wanna see a photo from the wedding?" The woman pulled out her phone and based on the way Sarah rolled her eyes, this was a common occurrence lately.

A few moments later, Auggie let his curiosity get the best of him, "So, who is the oldest?"

Lizzie answered as Joan walked up to join the conversation, "Well, Sarah, is the oldest." Sarah inserted a quick comment, "Before they tell you for me, I turned the big five-o last month, but I'm still younger than Arthur" She raised her voice when she said his name and he waved her comment away. It was apparently a re-occuring family headline. Lizzie shook her head at her sister and brother-in-law, "After Sarah the Marine, it's me, the stay at home mom, then Joan the spy, then Charlotte the romantic."

Auggie nodded, "Joan, you're a middle child, never would've guessed." His voice was laced with sarcasm.

Joan narrowed her eyes at him, "And what exactly do you mean by that?"

He just laughed and changed the subject, "So I have met all but Charlotte, unless she is standing beside which would make this really awkward."

Everyone chuckled at his blind joke but Sarah explained that Charlotte was in town only for Christmas. She was a young, single archeologist and was in the middle of a dig in Egypt. Annie was beginning to feel overwhelmed by the small talk when Joan nudged her and indicated Annie should follow her into the kitchen.

"Hold him while I get these stuffed mushrooms out of the oven." Annie took McKenzie and smiled down at him, "He is getting so big." Setting the pan on the cooling rack Joan turned and leaned against the countertop, "I know…" she sighed, "I can't believe he is almost six weeks old." She shook her head sadly. Annie held him up in front of her face, "Six weeks old and just as handsome as ever." Annie spoke in motherese before kissing his forehead and cradling him in her arms. Joan chuckled and proceeded to place the mushrooms on a serving dish, "Sorry to overwhelm you."

"I'm not overwhelmed…" Joan shot her a look, "..a little surprised but it's fun - your sisters seem nice." Joan chuckled, "They are and hopefully they stay that way all night."

Ryan and Lilly entered the kitchen and kept Annie from asking Joan to elaborate. Nodding to acknowledge Annie they went straight over to the older blonde in the room. "Aunt Joan, we're leaving." Ryan explained, "Thank you for having us." Joan briefly hugged them both, "Glad you came. Have fun tonight and be careful." Her nice and nephew smiled and excused themselves after promising to do so.

Joan turned her attention to the young blonde currently enraptured by her son, "Annie", two brown eyes met hers, "How are you?"

Annie slid her finger in McKenzies fist and bit her lower lip, "Today was rough - but I'm okay."

She crossed her arms over her royal-blue silk top and cocked her head to the side, "What's going on with you and Auggie?"

Annie shook her head dismissivly, "Nothing."

"Mhmm. Nothing to keep you outside in below freezing weather to chat?" She shot Annie her signature, 'I-already-know' look as she picked up the platter to add to the spread on the dining room table. Annie rolled her eyes and followed her into the other room but she remained silent, unable to come up with an explanation.

Joan set the platter down and looked her operative in the eye, "I know circumstances haven't been ideal but, actions speak louder than words and it seems to me, based on his actions, Auggie still cares for you."

Annie nodded, "I know he does. I'm just trying to get to a place I can trust him."

Joan nodded, "How are you handling your loss?"

Annie raised her eyebrows and looked down at the baby in her arms, "It's been difficult but I'm handling it." Raising her eyes she met Joans worried eyes again, "Joan, don't worry. I'm fine." She gave the woman the most genuine and convincing smile she could muster.

And it was genuine. She was fine. She was starting to feel happy and hopeful. Yes, there was still a lot more to work through, but facing the new year no longer seemed so scary. She had finally realised, in that house full of both strangers and the people who knew her possibly better than she knew herself, that she wasn't going to face the future alone. It was pondering that comforting thought that made her able to face the crowd. Enabled her to joke, and laugh in spite of the grief and sadness in the back of her mind. There would be bad days, there would be good days but this moment was all that mattered.

Throughout the evening Auggie was hyper-aware of Annies emotions. Her tone of voice, the way she stayed pressed against his side, never leaving him on his own for more than a few minutes. Could've been because she was worried about him navigating the unfamiliar house full of people, but he doubted it. He couldn't help but smile when she let him wrap his arm around her waist as they engaged in small talk with Joan's sisters. The evening passed in a dream-like state making him feel he was in a Hallmark Christmas movie. He listened to the people chatting about life. He soaked in the smells of Joan's cooking, of Annie's perfume, the sound of Baby Z cooing and babbling nearby.

A television feature on new years celebrations happening every hour around the world had been playing in the background but it now took center stage as the group was gathered in the living room and suddenly began counting down and chanting as the year came to a close. If Auggie were completely honest, he was glad it was ending. Glad it was ending and elated to have Annie home, safe, and standing beside him. His mind flashed back to the moments he thought he would never see her again. Instinctively he pulled her closer. When he did her blonde head fell to rest against his shoulder.

3

2

1

The room erupted in Happy New Years wishes. Before Auggie could turn his head toward the woman in his arms to wish her a happy 2014, her hand was wrapped around the back of his neck and her lips were crashing into his. He could feel her smiling into the kiss and knew, it really would be a happy new year. A fresh start. He wrapped her in an embrace as she pulled away. Rising to her tip toes she whispered into his ear, "I love you." He responded by taking over her lips once again. "Happy New Year" He managed to whisper between kisses not caring who may have been watching, not giving any attention to anything but the moment.

The moment they started over.

Chapter 23

Flipping over to his side, Auggie reached for where Annie had been the night before but found the bed to be empty, the sheets cool against his touch. He abruptly sat up wondering if it had all been a dream. The kiss at midnight, spending the first hours of the New Year together.

Together.

An ache rose in his chest as his frantic fingers ran over the seams of the blanket on the bed. It was a quilt with complicated stitching and not his simple, smooth modern comforter. He let out a relieved sigh, he was in her bed. Climbing out onto the floor he found his boxers he had tossed aside the night before. Now half dressed he started walking the paces to the bedroom doorway. There were no sounds from the city that surrounded her apartment. He assumed it was before sunrise. That's when he heard her light, rythmic breathing a few feet ahead of him.

Cautiously he reached for the edge of the couch and then gently nudged her shoulder while whispering her name. He heard her gasp as she startled awake violently. "Annie, it's me." He said calmly but firmly as he gripped her shoulders.

She relaxed back against the couch and took several deep breaths to steady herself. Auggie trailed his fingers up the cotton fabric that covered her arms until he reached the collar around her neck. Realizing it was his shirt from the night before his mouth flickered into a half grin, "You okay?"

Annie nodded and swallowed hard, "Fine. I needed to write and didn't want to wake you. I'm sorry."

Auggie shook his head and dismissed her apology before settling himself onto the couch behind her. His body sandwiched between the arm-rest and her back. With one strong arm he pulled her against him, holding her small frame between his legs and hoping it would make her relax. Make her feel safe. Before she relaxed into his chest she reached down for the notebook that had fallen out of her lap when Auggie woke her up. He could hear her close the pages and set it back into her lap. Once she finally let herself melt into him, he decided to push his luck,

"Nightmare?"

Nodding but not responding she let out a sigh and closed her eyes ready to fall back asleep and hoping he would just let it go.

"Wanna talk about it?" Her eyes shot open, why would she ever think he would let it go.

"No."

"Okay."

A few silent moments past and found Annie staring up at the ceiling knowing she wasn't going to be able to still her mind. Meshing her fingers with the ones resting over her stomach, she licked her lips and took a deep breath,

"It was Henry."

Auggie picked his head up off the back of the couch where he had begun to drift into sleep. Setting his cheek against hers he inhaled the scent of her hair and let his eyes flutter shut, "In the alley?"

"No"

Her trembling fingers left his hand and fanned the corners of the notebook. Letting each piece flap across her thumb before she spoke again, "In my dads room." Auggies body twitched behind her as he straightened his posture to listen intently. Annie clenched her brown eyes shut knowing how insane she sounded. Afraid of what he was going to think of her.

"At the nursing home?" His words were slow, cautious, calculated and he felt her head nod against his shoulder in response.

"It starts when I walk in to see my dad, and at first, I'm too far away to see the face of the person lying there but once I am beside the bed, I realize it's Henry Wilcox. My feet feel like they have concrete poured over them and I reach for my gun but it's not there. That's when I realize he has a glock 17 pointed in my face. The barrel of the gun is longer than possible but... He asks how I found him and I respond the same way I did in the alley that it doesn't matter..." Auggie reached for her fingers, folding them into his own and pulling her increasingly tense body closer to his when he hears her voice crack, wishing he could make her pain stop. "...I hear the gun go off and I see a flash, I smell the gun-powder from the explosion then I wake myself up. Until a week ago, I thought I had beaten the nightmares. I was doing better. It was the same story playing in my head every night, I had almost become numb to it..." she scoffed at herself, "...then this one started. It is completely illogical and I hate myself for getting so emotional over it but... it terrorizes me." Auggie brought a hand up to push her hair to one side of her neck and hooked his chin over her shoulder, "It's okay to be afraid." Her body shuttered without her permission and a silent tear fell down her cheek sliding between her skin and his. Clenching her eyes shut she pressed her head back against Auggies shoulder and held his hand in hers even tighter than before like she was afraid of losing him again.

"I don't want to be afraid for the rest of my life. I don't want to be confused."

"Going dark, loosing your father, coming home it is all a lot to sort through you were...you have to give yourself time."

Her head bobbed up and down sporadically a few times as she drew in a deep breath.

"Annie, I'm not a shrink, a priest, a mind-reader, I'm not Joan..." Annie chuckled and shook her head against him, "...but I think that dream is trying to tell you why your encounter with Wilcox bothered you so much." He felt Annie cock her head to the side so she could look at his face. She saw him raise an eyebrow with a question in his blank gaze and realized he was asking for permission to speak freely. Letting out a shallow sigh she relaxed back against him, "okay..."

Interpreting her response as permission to continue, Auggie opened his mouth and spoke slowly but with purpose, quietly but firmly, "I think it bothered you because you thought of him as a challenge but also as a mentor in a way. And when he turned you over to the Chinese you felt abandoned and betrayed and it reminded you of when your dad left. I also think in a twisted way his logic of revenging his sons death to alleviate his guilt appealed to you. You understood him. But you were abandoned by him. I know killing him bothered you but, I think the fact you let yourself sympathize with him bothered you more because if you hadn't, his betrayal wouldn't have surprised you."

Annie sat dumbfounded. Almost angry at him because the moment those words flew into her ears she knew he was right. The truth pierced the atmosphere. She felt guilty for having compassion on him. Felt like a monster because she could sympathize with him. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came.

Finally, she managed to speak through the dryness in her throat, "You must hate me..." She said quietly as she planned a way to pry her self away from him and isolate herself in the bedroom.

Shaking his head he kissed her shoulder before speaking, "Your ability to understand the way the people around you think is one of the many things that make you amazing at this job. Nothing you did in pursuit of him was wrong and understanding him doesn't make you like him."

Feeling her muscles tense, Auggie kissed her cheek. With one arm he held her firmly against his chest-with the other he felt for her hand that had come to rest on her thigh and brought it up to rest on the valley of her chest where the damaged skin from Lena's bullets was exposed by the partially buttoned shirt. He cupped his hand over hers and whispered into her ear, "I've almost lost you twice. Those were the scariest moments of my life because they made me realize how much I love you Annie. I'm not going anywhere. Nothing about your past is gonna push me away. You don' t have to be afraid of loosing me."

Tears began to stream down her face and her body shuttered with each sob. All Auggie could do was hold her and whisper he loved her, that she was okay, the he was there. In her head she scolded herself for crying. She hated to cry, hated to feel vulnerable but crying was all she could seem to do lately.

Slowly she relaxed in his arms. Her breathing became rhythmic and he knew she had fallen back asleep. Letting his head fall back on the couch he relished the feeling of her steady heartbeat under his hand and tried to push the images his mind was trying to create out of his mind. Those nightmares, the flashbacks, re-living every moment desperately looking for something you could've done differently...that life wasn't far gone from him. He remembered all too well.

Annie woke a few hours later. Safe. Warm. Loved. Wrapped in Auggies arms she felt the safest she had in months. The sun was up, the city was slowly stirring as everyone was recovering from the late night.

Auggie felt her lift her head and start surveying the city through the glass door. He kissed the side of her face and whispered, "Happy New Year"

Annie grinned and turned her body so she was lying on top of him, "Happy New Year" she whispered back before kissing him softly. Nuzzling her face into his neck she relaxed and relished the feeling of his fingers trailing light paths up and down her back. She let out a content sigh, "What should we do on this first day of the new year?"

Letting out a sarcastic hum he worked his way out from behind the blonde resting against his chest. As she opened her mouth to complain of his absence he swooped down and scooped her into his arms. Heading toward the bedroom he grinned coyly, "Oh, I can think of a few things we should do."

Annie chuckled as he dropped her onto the bed, and put on a flirtatious tone, "Like what?" Laying himself beside her he planted light kissed along her jawline as his hands deftly worked on the buttons of his shirt she had donned earlier that morning. "Like this."

2 days later…

Michelle Biram's personal assistant ushered Annie into the woman's office. After nearly three weeks of working for her, Annie had never stepped foot into the room and if she were honest, she was totally okay with keeping it that way but her latest report spurred a sit-down with the woman first thing on this first Friday morning of 2014.

"Take a seat Annie."

The dark-haired woman spoke to the blonde entering the room without prying her dark eyes and sharp facial features away from the information she was reading.

"I was just re-reading this report you sent me at 2am." She glanced up and met Annies eyes, "My people work strange hours, but 2am?"

Annie shrugged dismissively, "Seems to be when I do my best work lately."

"Fine with me. Okay, so you are nearly certain the letter is in Romania?"

"Yes, as detailed in the report..."

Michele interjected, "Which is painstakingly detailed by the way."

Annie looked at her cautiously, "Yes, I like to be thorough." Her mind flashed back to reports she turned in for Joan which, if lacking the smallest detail or evidence, were immediately tossed back onto her desk. She smirked, realizing she almost missed that.

"Thorough is one word...go on..."

Annie nodded decisively, "Right, um, the estimate was between 3500 and 4000 euros. Our friend, Sergei Nomanov, aka, Octavian Popescu traveled from Russia to Romania and shortly after 3850 euros were deposited into his account. Popescu left Bucharest for Austria. The deposit came from Mihai Moroșanu a wealthy oil executive who lives in Ploiești and has made a fortune off a foreign investment made by Shell Gas. Mihai is an antiques collector and has hired Octavian before. He also has a personal interest in obtaining the letter, his family was instrumental in obtaining U.S. funding for the opening of the worlds first oil refinery in Ploiești in 1857. It was destroyed in Operation Tidal Wave. I am fairly confident he has the letter."

Michelle nodded, "Like you say, it is has personal significance to him, how do you plan on convincing him to sell the letter to you?"

This was the hard part-Annie thought to herself as she took a deep breath and prepared her response, "Mihai hosts an annual charity ball to raise funds to preserve the historical sites in Romania, particularly in Bucharest. I will go to him as someone trying to do the same thing, preserve the history of my country. I think he will be reasonable and will sympathize with me. If not, I have the financial backing of the U.S. government?" Michelle nodded in response to Annies question so she went on, "The right amount of money can persuade a person to do just about anything."

"Sounds like a solid plan to me. So, I want you to set up a meeting with him and travel to Ploiești to get the letter. There is a flight leaving tonight at 7pm. Can you be ready by then?"

Annie nodded.

"Good, Claudia has offered to come along and verify the authenticity."

Annie's robotic nodding suddenly hitched as the full implication of Michelles statement hit her, "Uh...is she able to do that, I mean won't she miss class, or...?" She struggled to find a reason for the woman not to come along.

Michelle sat back in her chair and crossed her arms, "Nothing her aid can't cover. Annie, you will only be gone for 3, maybe 4 days max. Also, you don't speak Romanian, Claudia does."

Annie shook her head, "He almost definitely speaks Russian and English, both of which I am fluent in." Although she meant no dis-respect, her tone had an edge to it and she realized the damage done as Michelle stiffened her posture and narrowed her dark eyes. "Well, I am sorry...I thought considering the recent events in your life..." she raised a dark brow and Annie knew she was referring to her fathers passing, "...having someone, a family member, to travel with would be good for you."

With a gracious smile, however fake it may have been, Annie nodded and thanked the woman, "You're right, it would probably be best I don't go alone."

Michelle relaxed and closed the file, "Probably so. Go get packed. I will email you your itinerary and Claudia will meet you at the Otopeni airport in Bucharest. Ploiești is a 56 kilometer drive north."

Walking out of the National Archives, Annie put on her blue tooth and dialed Auggies number.

"Morning Walker, I take it you made it to work on time?"

She chuckled and grinned as she started the corvette, "I did, no thanks to you."

"Just be glad you live so close to the office. I was very late."

"Serves you right seeing as, you started it." She replied coyly

She cold hear a smile in his voice, "Yes I did, so, what do you need Walker?"

"Michelle is sending me to Romania to retrieve the letter."

"When are you leaving?"

"Tonight."

"Wow."

"And Auggie…Claudia will be meeting me there."

"Brooks?"

"Yeah, did you ever find anything when you looked into her and Michelle?"

"No, I didn't. But you being on foreign soil again needs to go vertical. Let me read Calder in. I will call you once I know you have a green light."

"Okay, Michelle already booked my flight. I leave at 7."

"We should have an answer for you in a few hours."

Annie knocked on the front door and heard Joan yell from somewhere in the house that it was un-locked and to come on in.

A moment after she shut the door, Joan appeared at the top of the stairs, "Hey, everything okay?" Annie had called just half an hour earlier asking if Joan was home.

Annie hung her coat on the rack beside the door and shook her head, "Everything's fine."

Joan crossed her arms and narrowed her blue eyes at the blonde woman in front of her, "So…"

Taking a deep breath Annie opened her mouth to explain when her cell phone ringing in her coat pocket stopped her. "Sorry let me get that."

Joan nodded, "I'll be in the nursery. Just come up when you're done."

Annie nodded and fished the phone out of her coat pocked, "Hello?"

"Annie, I just talked to Calder."

"And?"

"And you are a go for retrieving the letter. Just be careful. I'm pulling Mihai's file and I will be following your movements. If you need anything, I'm here."

Annie smiled, "You aren't worried about me are you Auggie?" Her tone was flirtatious.

"Always have been, and now that you're home the thought of you leaving again doesn't settle well."

"Gonna be okay without me for a few days?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I'll be fine."

"Yes you will. I'll see you when you get home Walker. Good luck."

"Thanks. I love you Auggie."

"I love you too, not go pack. You have a flight to catch."

Annie chuckled and hung up the phone without saying goodbye. Auggie never said goodbye and his obnoxious habit had rubbed off on her over the years. Stowing the phone away she headed upstairs and found Joan rocking a sleepy baby McKenzie in her arms, "Where's Arthur?"

"Moving into his new office."

Annie crossed her arms and leaned back against the changing table, "Oh really?"

She inhaled sharply and raised two eyebrows, "He officially starts on Monday and I have a Senate hearing Tuesday."

"What are you going to do about McKenzie?"

Joan sighed and looked down at the growing baby boy in her arms, "We are going to start looking for a nanny but for now, Arthur will come home and watch him so I can go." Annie nodded silently, observing the conflict flicker across her bosses face. Joan looked up and forced a sly grin, "So…. why are you here Annie?"

"I just wanted to let you know I'm going to be out of town for the next few days."

Joan raised an eyebrow, "Oh…"

"I'm going to Romania for my NOC."

She nodded and started to respond when McKenzie grunted and startled himself to a state of complete awakeness in his mothers arms, "Hey sleepy boy." She kissed his forehead and stood nodding for Annie to take him. "Did you clear it with Calder?"

Cradling McKenzie in her arms, Annie sighed and offered him her finger, "Yeah, it's a go. Danielles sister-in-law will be joining me."

Joan had taken on the task of putting away the stack of clean and folded baby clothes and paused to give Annie a questioning glare, "Your bosses professor?"

"Auggie says there is nothing to worry about."

"Then there probably isn't…" She went back to work but kept Annie in her peripheral vision, "…just watch her closely. Use your judgment. You know when things aren't adding up. And remember you are going as a civilian, not a spy." With the last phrase her eyes met Annie with a cautious warning in them.

"I know. I will be careful."

Finishing her chore she walked toward Annie and took her son, holding him tight against her chest, "I know you will be."

Annie grinned awkwardly, "I better go pack. My flight leaves in 4 hours."

Joan nodded and interjected one more statement before letting Annie walk out the nursery door, "Thank you...for letting me know where you would be."

Annie gave Joan her signature mischievous grin, "I didn't want Arthur to send a search party out for me." They shared a laugh and Annie let herself out the front door. Once she was gone, Joan let out a relieved sigh, she had missed that mischievous grin. For all the chaos Annie had caused her she wouldn't trade those years for anything.

Bringing McKenzie downstairs she buckled him into his swing then headed into the kitchen to start dinner for her and Arthur. As she chopped vegetables and raw chicken she took a mental inventory of every asset she knew of in Romania and made a mental note to call Calder and have him read her in. Romania was a friendly nation and part of the EU but was notorious for their corrupt political and judicial system. If anything went wrong, getting her home could be complicated. And the fact she was traveling with a civilian didn't make Joan feel any more confident about the mission. All she knew about Claudia Brooks was what Annie had shared with her. So, not much, but if Annie was feeling un-comfortable, Joan was going to make damn certain the woman could be trusted. They had just gotten Annie back, and she wasn't willing to run the risk of loosing her again.

Chapter 24

Trudging through the crowded arrivals terminal at the Otopeni airport in Bucharest with her carry-on in one hand and her cell phone in the other she didn't notice Claudia standing a few feet away from her.

"Annie! Annie!"

Her eyes jerked up from Auggies text to the woman standing by the exit. She wore black boots, the pointed toe creeping out from under her khaki boot-cut trousers. Her ivory winter coat was hanging open to reveal a dark green sweater that matched her green eyes. Her dark hair, which had begun to show streaks of grey was pulled back into a ponytail on the base of her head. Inwardly Annie cringed and rolled her eyes but outwardly she gave the woman a warm smile and greeted her as civilly as possible.

"Mrs. Brooks."

"Annie, I have told you before to call me Claudia. How was your flight?"

"Fine, yours?"

Claudia grabbed Annies elbow with her free hand causing Annies brown eyes to widen as she was escorted by Claudia to the car park, "Oh it was awful. I didn't sleep a wink on the longest leg of the flight thanks to a crying baby back in coach. On that note, do you mind driving to Ploiești? I am completely exhausted and need a nap." She grinned over at Annie with whom she was eye-level with.

Using their arrival at the rental car counter as an excuse to pry her arm from Claudias grasp she nodded, "Of course." What she really wanted to say was how much she would prefer to drive.

It was going to be a long trip.

The drive to Ploiești was un-eventful.

Claudia slept.

Annie drove.

It was now 8am on Sunday in Romania. The streets were quiet, only the sounds of church bells tolling in the distance broke the stillness.

The two had checked into the Prahova Plaza Hotel after 9pm and gone straight to bed both exhausted from traveling. Annie had crawled into the hotel bed and called to check-in with Auggie who was in the office on a Saturday. She knew he was eating lunch because he has this incredibly obnoxious habit of talking with food in his mouth. Especially over the phone. It was something Annie never had addressed. She knew better. You have to pick your battles.

Pulling on her second tan riding boot she grinned to herself thinking of Auggies habits. Her happy muse was broken by knocks on her door followed by Claudias voice, "Annie, you awake?"

Annie opened the door and smiled, "Morning Claudia."

"bună dimineața." She bid Annie good morning in flawless Romanian as she walked straight into Annie's room and plopped herself onto the chair in the corner by the window. Peeking around the corner of the ivory curtain she commented, "You have a nice view of the city."

"I do, also I contacted Mihai Moroșanu's secretary. Museum tours end at 5, he will be in the office to meet us after the last tour group goes through. I told her we wanted to inquire about his family history with the oil company for research purposes."

Claudia crossed her legs and nodded in agreement, "Well, that is mostly true. Why didn't you mention the letter?"

Leaning against the wall adjacent to the hotel room door she shook her head and shut her eyes to keep Claudia from seeing them roll back into her head, "Because people like to talk about themselves. If we go and he expects us to ask him for something he will be less likely to willingly part with the letter, but if we let him talk about his family, maybe stroke his ego a bit..."

Claudia waved her hand as if she knew where this was going, "...he will be easier to convince. I got it. Are you a linguist or a con artist?"

Annie chuckled, "Working in the import-export business I got practice in both." The words rolled effortlessly off her tongue as she used the opportunity to re-enforce her NOC.

Claudia pushed up on the arm-rest of the chair and stood, "Well, let's hope you are right. I am going to get my coat. The orthodox church around the corner has a service at ten, we can go then find a cafe and get breakfast and do some sight-seeing?"

Forcing a smile Annie agreed. Church and sightseeing with her mother-in-law did not sound appetizing, "I thought you were Catholic?"

She shrugged, "When in Rome."

"Muzenul National Petrolului?" Annie asked and pried her eyes away from the intricately detailed exterior and looked over at Claudia with a raised brow, "...The National Oil Museum?"

She nodded affirmatively as they walked around the corner of the building, which displayed the iron gilded sign and entered the front gate, "I thought you didn't speak Romanian?"

Annie laughed sarcastically, "I am a linguist, and Romanian is a Latin based language. I may not speak it but, I can pick up on a good bit."

Claudia fished out her passport to show at the check-in desk, "I am sure you can." Shaking her head, Annie mirrored her actions and flashed her ID before receiving a visitors badge. Even when it was fake, she had never felt so insecure about her ID while traveling outside the country. She wondered if the customs systems at the airport would flash, Deceased the first time she used it. 48 hours in and she was starting to feel comfortable again.

They followed the guard through the main floor containing displays of objects and documents related to the history and evolution of the petroleum industry in Romania. Claudia narrated the whirl-wind tour giving Annie quick historical facts. Unbeknownst it to Claudia, Annie's mind was not focusing on the history but rather sweeping the building looking for the quickest and the best exit, counting the number of guards, noting which were armed, which were just here for show. It was a habit, and she heard the relevant portions of Professor Brooks lecture.

Mihai's office was up a flight of stairs that were concealed three rooms into the museum. When they reached the landing of the stairs they were met by a medium height Romanian man. Annie quickly took an inventory of him, he was fit, he wore a tailored suit, had thick dark eyebrows and his dark hair was parted to one side. He looked to be in his mid to late fifties. What surprised Annie was the look of surprise and recognition on his face when he saw them.

"bună ziua, Claudia." He immediately took her hand and placed a delicate kiss on it. Annie was taken aback and tried hard to filter her face but knew she had failed when Mihai turned his attention to her, "And who is so brave to travel with my Claudia Orban?"

"Brooks, Mihai, it is Brooks and it has been for over 30 years. And this is Annie Walker from the National Archives."

He shook his head and raised a sarcastic eyebrow at Annie, "To me, she will always be Claudia Orban." He chuckled and kissed Annies hand in the same manner he had Claudia's. When he stood to his full height again he tilted his head to the side and, still holding Annies hand spoke directly to her, "And yet, Annie Walker is the one who arranged this meeting."

Giving the dark-haired man a soft glare and gently pulling her hand away she explained, "I didn't realize you knew each other."

Claudia waved a dismissive hand, "I should've told you, I am sorry. When Michelle told me who you were looking for I jumped on board right away. You know I lived in Ploiești until I was 12? Mihai was one of the boys on the street I grew up on..."

Realization hit Annie as she remembered the seamless way Claudia went through the motions at the Orthodox service that morning. She may be Catholic now but her childhood as a Greek Orthodox Romanian was becoming clearer by the second.

He motioned for the two women to follow him into this office and completed Claudias statement, "...I was the one who threw snowballs at all the girls on their way home from school." He turned taking a stance behind his desk and shot Annie a cheeky grin, "I was what you call a bully." He held out both hands and waited for the two women to sit before taking his own chair across from them, "So, what is it you need from me? Hmm?"

Annie opened her mouth to speak but Claudia cut her off, "The letter you bought, the one written by General Ent giving details of a compartmentalized mission in Operation Tidal Wave."

Internally, Annie groaned as she saw Mihai's defenses fly up, his posture became rigid and his eyes hardened. Claudia had no idea what she had just done. Annie was wide-eyed looking at the intensity flying from Mihai's dark orbs to Claudias green ones. Claudia, on her high horse, was oblivious to the source of his intensity and held his gaze in a dismissive way.

Annie clenched her eyes shut and spoke, "Mihai, what Claudia means is..."

His dark eyes flew from Claudia over to the blonde, "...it is clear what she wants, she wants the letter."

Annie shook her head, "Actually, the National Archives would like to return the letter to the United States..."

"Return it, it was never there. You want to lock it up in a vault, never to be seen by the public. Here, the truth will be displayed. It is a part of our history. Not yours."

Again, Claudia butted into the conversation, "Oh Mihai, it is a shared history, technically it was written by an American, and we are willing to pay twice what you purchased it for."

He planted his hands firmly on the desk and leaned toward the women, "What I purchased it for? How could you possibly-? Your country spies on Romanian businessmen?" He scoffed angrily, "Should not surprise me." Claudia tried to interject but he cut her off, "Claudia, you of all people should know why I look for this letter or have you completely forgotten your past?"

Annie was wide-eyes watching the escalating tensions which were being egged on by Claudias prideful ignorance. Again she tried to interrupt only to be cut-off, this time harshly by Mihai, "Ms. Walker, Mrs. Brooks, I think it is time you leave. I hope you both have a safe trip back to America."

Annie nodded in compliance and stood having to practically drag Claudia out of her chair.

Once outside the building Claudia looked at Annie, dumbfounded and deflated, "What just happened?"

Rolling her eyes and beginning the walk back to the hotel Annie pulled Claudia along and explained, "You offended him."

"I just told him why we were there."

Annie ignored her comment, "What truth is he so eager to display Claudia?"

The woman looked suddenly timid. Her eyes pointed down to the sidewalk she let out a breathy sigh. This time when she spoke her voice was low as if she was afraid someone was listening, "When we were children, it was a bad time in Romania. Mihai's father was part of the Securitate, it was the spy service of the Ceaușescu regime. I realized when I read your report, the timing of it all, the compartmentalized mission was to attack Mihai's father. To take him out."

The puzzle began to assemble into a discernable image in Annie's mind as they continued their walk on the snow-covered sidewalks to the hotel, "That explains why he wouldn't want to give up the letter…" She stopped walking and grabbed Claudias arm to make her turn to face her, "Why didn't you tell me all of this?"

The woman sighed, "I didn't think it would be a factor…" she turned and resumed her steady gate, "…I was wrong."

The ringing of Annies phone broke the silence between them.

"Hello."

"Annie, can you talk?" Auggies slightly frantic voice filled her ear.

"Not exactly." She spoke in a low tone and glanced sideways at Claudia who was lost in her own thoughts.

"Can you listen."

"Uh-huh."

"MihaiMoroșanu's father was a Romanian spy."

"I know."

"Okay, did you also know Mihai himself is on our watch list? We think he is SRI, the Romanian Intelligence Service."

"The city is lovely, and the people are so friendly."

"Claudia is right next to you?"

"Yes, there is snow on the sidewalks."

"Okay, Annie, we have no evidence he is still active and you are there for your NOC but be careful. Joan has a few assets in the area if you need any backup. Also, Claudia is clean."

"Great, we are coming home tomorrow as long as our flight isn't delayed."

"Be careful and call me later when you can talk?"

"I will."

She hung up the phone and turned to face Claudia who had an amused look on her face, "Danielle had me thinking you were single, but that must not be true…"

Annie felt herself blush slightly. They passed a tavern and Annie paused, "Let's get dinner then we can go pack. Our flight leaves tomorrow afternoon."

Annie exited the public transport vehicle just after 6am at Station PH2 – Piata Victoriei. It was where Mihai ran in the mornings. Or, she assumed it was based on his physical fitness, and the photograph she had spotted in his office of him and two other runners at the Piata. She walked into the park and quickly found the spot where the photograph was taken. Auggie had offered to run his face through hummingbird and locate him but she declined and claimed she was just going to let this one go. It would be hard enough already to explain to a spy how an archives analyst found him, finding him literally randomly on the street would be even harder.

She would give it one hour before she gave up. After forty minutes she felt she was being watched and suddenly regretted her decision to not tell anyone she was going to try to arrange an accidental run-in with the man.

She stood up from the brick wall she was perched against and walked toward the café stand a few yards away. Not hearing footsteps behind her, not seeing anyone suspicious, she assumed she was being paranoid. Dr. Peterson had warned her hyper-vigilance was a symptom.

As she handed her lei to pay for her coffee, a mans hand thrust a bill between her and the cashier. Annie looked up and met Mihais dark eyes. He spoke something in Romanian then motioned for her to walk with him.

"How did you know I would be here?" His voice was laced with suspicion.

"I didn't." She adjusted the lid of her cup, "I saw the photo on your desk and hoped maybe I would run into you."

"No chance of running into anyone sitting like a lazy American on the brick wall." He nodded to her former position and Annie realized he had been watching her.

She shrugged dismissively, she was there as an analyst, not a spy, "I wanted to apologize on behalf of Claudia, she didn't mean to offend you and I should've told you the real reason I wanted to meet with you."

Mihai nodded and they walked a few paces in silence before he spoke again, "Why do you want the letter so badly?"

Annie looked at him and bit her lip, "Honestly, this analyst job is new and it was my first assignment and I don't want to fail. But more than that, it is a piece of history that I see value in preserving."

"The most effective way to destroy people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history." He quoted the saying without looking at her.

She grinned slightly, "George Orwell?"

"Yes. A very brilliant and eloquent man." Annie nodded in agreement and sipped her coffee, "Annie I don't want to keep you from preserving the document, but I feel it is a reminder of our past as well and if we forget the past it will repeat itself and our nation will once again suffer. It belongs in Romania."

"I understand, but I don't agree."

He looked at her slightly surprised and waited for her to explain.

"It was written by an American General, it was a controversial order. One where we may have over-stepped our boundaries and in the political climate today, it is a healthy reminder to my government."

Ten paces later he stopped walking and waited for Annie to meet his eyes before responding, "Can you promise me the letter will be displayed as such a reminder?"

Annie sighed, "I wish I could but, no, I can't."

"You are honest for an American."

She shrugged and resumed walking. He fell into step beside her, "I have seen lies destroy too many lives." She looked him directly in the eye, "So, trust me when I say this, I will do everything in my power to have it displayed."

With a nod of agreement he put his hand out for her to shake, "Miss Walker, you can have the letter."

Letting out a relieved sigh she thanked him. As she lifted her fingers to release his hand, he held it tighter making the pressure un-comfortable but not painful. He forced her eyes to meet his, "You are a very convincing woman. Don't let your country use that to its advantage at your expense." He narrowed his dark, piercing eyes at her and she worked to hide the shock in hers. "I-I'm just an analyst but I-I mean I won't."

He chuckled gruffly, "Analyst? Okay Annie Walker." He let out a deep sigh, "I will bring your letter to your hotel."

"We are staying at the…"

He interrupted, "Prahova…I know." He winked at her and walked away.

Annie wrinkled her nose and watched him walk away.

It was 6pm local time when Claudia and Annie's flight from Bucharest to Amsterdam landed. The General Ent letter safely tucked away in Annie's carry-on. The two women hugged briefly before parting ways. Claudia's flight to Atlanta, connecting to Oakland International Airport left an hour before Annie's fight to DC.

Annie leisurely walked around the Schiphol airport pausing to eat dinner and shop in the souvenir shops lining the terminal. She was fingering an orange scarf when she felt eyes focus on the back of her neck.

Annie froze.

The scarf hung on a rotating display which she slowly turned until the mirror gave her a view of the eyes behind her. Frightened recognition shocked the dark eyes looking at Annie.

The blonde felt her breath hitch in her throat. The companion of the woman who owned the dark eyes wrapped an arm around her waist and ushered her along in the terminal from where she had frozen in her tracks.

Annie pointed her eyes at the floor and glanced to her left where the couple stood. Those dark eyes met hers briefly before turning away and stroking her companions chest as she excused herself. The man headed to a café on the second floor and the woman briefly ducked into a ladies room before stealthily slipping back out and heading toward the hall of departure gates. Annie followed a few yards behind. Eyes straining to see where the woman had disappeared when she felt a small hand grab her arm. Her startled attention turned to the woman standing on her right, "Sana."

Sana furrowed her brow and nodded for Annie to follow her. The two women sat in the waiting chairs placed in the middle of the empty departure gate. Annie glanced at the screen, a flight to Paris had left twenty minutes prior. They would be alone for a while. The next flight to Bordeaux didn't board for 2 hours.

Sana just stared at her letting her mouth hang open and her head twist from one side to the other.

Annie wrung her hands in her lap and looked away from the Indian woman's dark, piercing eyes.

"Sana, I am so sorry about…"

She interrupted the blonde and squeezed her hands, "Thank you."

Annie narrowed her eyes at Sana, "What?"

Sana released the girls hands and sat back in her seat crossing her legs and taking a deep breath, "We met under extraordinary circumstances. You were fiercely determined and blinded by that determination, but you accomplished the mission and I feel safer than I have in decades."

Annie shook her head and bit her lip, "That still is no excuse for what I did to you and David." She met Sanas eyes for a moment but looked away quickly.

"I'm pretty sure you are the reason he is free Jessica."

Annie chuckled, she had forgotten what it felt like to be called Jessica, "Annie, my name is Annie. Annie Walker."

Sana smiled, "Annie…hmm…I can honestly say the name and the blonde hair suit you better." Her smile was genuine and motherly.

"Probably because it's the real me." Annie gave her a weak grin and a shrug.

Sana gave her a sideways glare, "You don't sound sure…"

With a swallow and a nod Annie explained, "I'm getting there. Coming back has been…difficult."

Giving the girl an understanding and sympathetic nod, Sana squeezed her hand again, "I imagine it would be. But I am glad to know you are alive and safe. Glad to know you are finding yourself again." She sighed and stood, "Now I need to go find David before he starts worrying." She held up her left hand, "We got married, by the way."

Annie smiled, "Congratulations."

"Thank you." She turned to walk away but paused when Annie called her name.

"Sana, again-I just wanted to day-I am sorry."

Sana patted the white wall and glanced from the floor to the girls brown eyes, "All is forgiven."

Then she was gone. Annie let out a breath and looked at the ceiling. Relief washing over her. Heading to her gate she realized she felt more like Annie than she had in months.

Forgiven but not forgotten.

24 Hours Later….

Annie walked into the DPD, heels clicking, blonde hair swinging from side to side.

"Morning Walker and welcome back."

Annie grinned from Auggies office doorway, "Good to be back."

She walked over and propped herself against the edge of her desk like she had so many times before. Auggie removed his headphones and stood in front of her planting a hand on either side of her hips, "I missed you." He leaned forward and kissed her softly. Annie leaned back and away, "You weren't at the apartment when I got back last night."

He nodded and stood to his full height grasping Annie's hands and holding them in his, "I knew you would be tired, would probably need space to process, and I didn't have a key."

Annie gave him a sideways grin, "Never stopped you before."

He tilted his head and gave a cheeky grin, "True"

Joan sat on the bench outside of the senate intelligence committee's hearing room. Taking a deep breath she tried to still her nerves. Sitting there, her mind flashed back to the events surrounding the last hearing. Clenching her eyes shut she sighed deeply. No, she didn't want to remember, didn't want to go there. Hearing the doorknob turn she jumped to her feet and straightened her blazer giving her stomach a quick glance. Her body was taking longer to go back to normal than she had hoped. Looking up she met Calder's eyes.

"How did it go?"

He nodded and looked around the corner of the hallway as he planted himself as a human barrier between her and the double doors, "Good, Joan, I need to talk to you."

She gave him a narrow-eyed glare, "Calder, the committee is expecting me." She said pointing toward the door.

"I know, I know, but they are taking a recess and giving me time to talk to you first." He waved an arm and indicated Joan should follow him.

"What is going on Calder?"

"Just trust me."

Joan complied and followed him down the hall.

Chapter 25

Calder led Joan quickly down the hall and opened the door of an empty conference room. He stepped inside to flip on the light switch before holding the door open for Joan who was cautiously surveying every non-verbal she could perceive.

When her footfall brought her out of the hall and into the conference room, the clicking of her heels stopped as they encountered sound-deafening carpet. She turned to face Calder with a narrow and suspicious gaze, "What is going on?" Her tone was demanding and firm as he shut the door and turned to face her.

He took a gruff breath and walked further into the room pulling out the chair at the head of the table and wordlessly motioning for her to take it. Joan agreed and took a seat but craned her neck so the intense glare between them never broke. In the hall she thought something may have happened with Annie but it was un-likely. She had a text from the Annie around midnight saying she was home. Did something happen with Oliver? Oh, God, please don't say Ben showed back up. Was this about the mess in the Ukraine? Or the bombings in Russia?

His lofty voice broke her muse, "We need to talk."

Shooting him an un-impressed glare she conveyed the word obviously without opening her mouth. Calder nodded that he had caught on. The man in his grey slacks and vest had come around to stand in front of her. Before explaining himself he crossed his arms, opened his mouth to speak, then awkwardly pulling out the chair next to Joans and settling himself in it.

Calder was one of the calmest, coolest spies she had ever met. Never had he been an easy one to read but now, he was showing so many tells and emotions Joan almost didn't know where to start.

"We only have…" he checked his watch, "…8 minutes before they are back and waiting for you so I am going to cut straight to the chase."

Joan raised her eyebrows and tilted her head to one side, "Please do."

The man gulped down a swallow and set his jaw, "When I was approached about taking the DCS position I made sure everyone in that room knew I did not want to step on you."

"Okay…" Where is this going?

"To me, it was a temporary solution. It was made clear you and I would compete for the DCS post…."

"Calder, if this is you cutting to the chase, I would hate to see you beat around the bush." Her voice carried a hint of sarcasm as she tried to lighten the mood and let him know he could speak freely.

With an awkward laugh he nodded and looked at the floor, "You're right. I'm sorry. To be blunt….I don't want this job." He spoke out of the side of his mouth and gave her a sideways glance.

Joan felt her mouth fall to the floor.

"Not now." He clarified with a cheeky grin.

"Why?" Joan asked not even trying to hide her shock and suspicion.

He let his head sway form one side to the other as he sought for the words, "I guess I am just not ready to blow my cover. I had to fight to stay covert over the past 6 weeks. Jumping from station chief, to head of the DPD to interim DCS in less than 6 months is un-heard of….for a reason." He tilted his chin down and looked up at her.

Joan shook her head, "I'm not sure I understand. You've done an excellent job…"

Holding up his right hand he stopped her, "I do not have the experience, the contacts, the politicking prowess, or the network of assets necessary to do this job successfully." He tapped the table three times and met her eyes, "I realized that is what made you and Arthur successful at this job. That is also why I kept pulling you into cases."

As understanding began to settle in Joan nodded and took a deep breath, "Did you tell the committee all of this?"

He shrugged, "I said you were the one for the job. Said the only way I will take it is if you don't want it. Asked for them to re-consider my candidacy in 5 or so years."

Joan picked up the necklace hanging on her chest and nodded slowly as she listened.

"Joan, I know you just had a baby and the past year has been hell for you but, this is your position, you earned it. Trust me, I will fight you for it when I'm ready." Half of his mouth lifted in a grin.

"I have no doubt." Dropping the necklace, Joan clasped her hands on the table and leaned closer to him, "What will you do?"

He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms, his typical cocky air returning to him slowly, "After Braithwaite was promoted to DCS, his chair as head of NCS was never filled."

Joan sighed and sat back, crossing her legs and clasping her hands in her lap, "National Clandestine Services…"

"Yes, my suggestion to the intelligence committee was that I take Braithwaite's title, Deputy Director of Operations."

Glancing at the ceiling, the blonde let the proposal roll around in her mind, "As the head of the clandestine arm of the CIA you would have access to every network of assets we have…"

"Exactly." He said adjusting himself in his seat. "What do you think?"

Feeling like a fish in the water as her mouth flapped open and shut Joan final came to a final opinion, "I am shocked, but I understand your hesitancy and I support you as head of NCS." She nodded at him and gave a dimpled grin, "But you underestimate yourself Calder. It won't take you five years to be ready to compete again for this position."

Calder chuckled and shook his head, "Maybe not." Standing he reached a hand out to Joan who stood and shook it firmly, "I look forward to working with you Joan."

She smiled and took a deep breath, "As do I."

Calder opened the door for her to leave, "Good luck in there."

Pursing her lips she bit the inside of her cheek and quietly thanked him before walking back down the hall to where the guard waited at the door with conflict raging inside of her. Before Calder's revelation she had been considering turning down the position. To be home for McKenzie and for Arthur. She shook her head as the doors opened revealing the committee she had sat before only 4 months prior. Here we go again.

Taking a deep breath and putting on her all business persona, Joan stepped into the room.

It was just after 10am when Annie stood beside Michelle Biram who was donning a pair of white cotton gloves before carefully opening the archival storage box that Annie had brought in. As previously agreed upon the two met in the preservation room of the National Archives so Annie could deliver the Ploiești letter. When Annie arrived right on time she found Michelle waiting impatiently for her in the hallway outside the door.

As an analyst, Annie's ID couldn't open the preservation room's sliding doors but Michelles could. Annie stood back and observed, marveling at the reverence with which her boss handled the document. It would be examined, authenticated, and, according to Michelle, stowed away until its classification status could be determined.

After Michelle handed the letter over to the experts in the room she and Annie headed out into the hallway and started the trek up to their offices.

There was an awkward silence between them as they entered the elevator. Leaning past Annie to press the button for their floor, Michelle broke the silence, "Claudia called from the Atlanta airport yesterday."

"She make it home okay?"

"She did...I am sorry it wasn't a smooth exchange but I want you to know I am pleased with your work."

Annie just smiled nonchalantly at the woman, "Things got a little complicated, but Mihai was understanding."

"Claudia tells me you managed to run-into him and change his mind after he turned you both down." The woman narrowed her eyes at the young blonde, "How exactly did you do so?"

Annie shrugged, "Like I said, he was a reasonable man and I got lucky."

The doors opened and Michelle shook her head, "I think it was more than that. You're good at this Annie Walker." The two emerged and walked a few paces before Michelle stopped and extended her right hand to Annie, "I am glad you were assigned to my department."

Annie chuckled lightly and shook her bosses hand, "I am glad to be here."

Michelle turned to head to her office, "Good."

Annie bit her lip and took a deep breath, requesting Michelles attention once again, "Mihai did have one request."

Michelle, now just outside her door crossed her arms, turned and leaned against the door frame giving Annie a suspicious glare, "And that would be?"

Annie took a few hesitant steps toward her boss, "He wants the letter to be displayed, not hidden. It was really important to him."

Letting out a conflicted sigh Michelle rolled her eyes, "Once it has been officially de-classified we can look into it...but Annie..." Her firm voice reminded the young blonde of a cross Joan Campbell, "...Don't ever make promises like that again."

"Understood."

Breathing harshly through her nose, Michelle turned her back on Annie, "Go home Annie, get some rest. Let me know when you have something for me."

Joan walked into the front door and was met by the sound of a wailing infant and a frantic father. She couldn't help but chuckle to herself as she removed her coat and dropped her purse on the table. Turning the corner into Arthurs office, the epicenter of the loud noise, she saw her husband holding their son in one arm and typing with his free hand.

"Hey."

Arthur looked up at her, a look of relief washing over his face as she moved to pick up the baby. "Thank God. I was about to feed him when the DNI emailed. I was going to respond then feed him but..."

Joan shook her head and kissed the side of her husbands face, "...but he was hungry right now." Moving to the couch on the wall across from Arthurs desk she sank down and went through the process of getting him latched on. His cries stopping instantly upon the realization he was about to be fed.

Arthur pounded out the last few phrases before swiveling around in his chair to face his wife who was gazing down at their baby boy. A warm smile lit up his face, "How did it go?"

Joan forced a smile and nodded, "Good. It went good, but Arthur, I..."

Looking down to read an incoming text, he stood and cut her off, "Glad to hear it." he said absent-mindedly, "I have to go. I am needed in this meeting."

"Arthur I need to talk to you about the hearing..." She looked up desperately at him.

Pulling on his sports jacket he stowed his phone away, "Can it wait till I get back? I will be home for dinner, I promise and you can tell me all about it?"

Joan sighed and narrowed her eyes, ignoring her silent disapproval, Arthur leaned in and kissed her briefly before heading out the door, "See you soon" he hollered as he exited the front door.

Letting her head fall back limp on the back of the couch she clenched her eyes shut. McKenzie twitching caused her head to fly back up so she could watch him. Her free hand moved slowly across his cheeks, up to his smooth forehead, and through his head of blonde fuzz. "Oh McKenzie. How is momma supposed to do this. How is she supposed to choose." The conflict raging war inside of her between Joan the spy, and Joan McKenzies mother caused a wave of nausea to wash over her. Clenching her teeth and taking a deep breath she forced it to subside and returned to watching the love of her life, happy, innocent, and clueless in her arms.

Annie walked into the DPD for a second time that day. This time with Auggies favorite take-out in hand. Walking into his office, however, she found no Auggie. Seeing Barber walking through the hall she stopped him, "Hey Eric..."

He grinned warmly, "Hey there Annie. Still getting used to seeing you around here."

"I'm still getting used to being back, where is Auggie?"

"Oh, he got called into a last minute meeting with the DCI and the DCS."

Annie furrowed her brow and shifted her weight, "Something happen?"

He hesitated but proceeded with his rumor-based assumption, "Ehhh, I'm pretty it has something to do with whatever happened with Joan and Calders hearings." He lowered his voice, "Heard things got a little out of hand but my guess is Auggie is being told his time as interim head of the DPD is up...but you didn't hear that from me."

Annie took a deep, sympathetic breath, "Any idea when he will be back down?"

Eric shook his head, "No clue."

After thanking him, she sent Auggie a quick message and left the takeout container on his desk before heading back to her apartment.

She needed to un-pack and call Danielle anyway.

It was after 7 when Arthur finally walked into the front door. He anticipated a frustrated wife to greet him but it was the dark, still house with only his bedroom light on that clued him in on the fact Joan was likely past frustrated and in the angry, you're on the couch tonight zone. He sighed, the meeting with the DNI had gone longer than expected as they tried to dis-arm the political mine field that the Sochi Olympics were becoming.

He found his wife sitting in the confrontation chair. Really it was just one of two chairs in the corner of their bedroom but whenever she needed to speak her mind, he would come home and find her there, sipping on a glass of wine as she was tonight.

Without saying a word he hung up his sports coat and removed his watch. As he crossed the room to take a seat beside hers, he noticed the empty bassinet.

"McKenzie?"

Joans hand left her chin to hold up the baby monitor, "Crib. I didn't want to keep him up."

Arthur raised an eyebrow at her, "You expecting this to be a loud conversation?"

Letting out a deep sigh she smiled weakly, "I hope not."

Once seated beside her, the small round table between them he let out a deep sigh, "I'm sorry I was late."

Joan pursed her lips in a sad smile, "I know you couldn't help it."

He nodded and relaxed slightly into this seat, "What's going on?"

With a sigh she turned her eyes from him to the base of the wind glass her fingers were twisting in a circle, "Calder doesn't want the DCS job." Looking up she saw the shock in her husbands eyes, "Not now at least..."

"So?"

"So, pending their acceptance of my terms, I will be reinstated as acting DCS a week from tomorrow." She chuckled at herself and shook her head.

Arthur leaned forward, eyes twinkling with excitement, "Joan that's great! Isn't it?"

Biting her lip, Joan shook her head and leaned onto her elbows, "I don't know." Her conflicted gaze was met with his eyebrows arched in concern. "Arthur, I thought this would be a...a formality before dropping the interim part of Calder's title. But Calder is insistent, he does not feel ready and he read me in right before my hearing. I walked into a hearing in front of a committee ready to re-instate me instantly." She pointed her eyes at the floor held her hands in a fist.

Arthur reached across the table and took her hand in his, "Joan, what is wrong?"

Letting a frustrated sigh slip she scolded herself, "I have to decide. I have to decide between my son and my country. Arthur, I didn't want to have to make this decision. I was okay with the committee turning me down. Part of me wanted them to make the decision for me. And now..." finding she had run out of words she let her voice trial off.

"Oh Joan...First, you aren't choosing between your country and your son..."

She scoffed and pulled her hands away, "Yes I am. We will both be working high stress jobs." Arthur shook his head and tried to interject, "No, Joan….." Raising her voice she cut him off, "You promised as ADNI you would be able to be home by 5, only work 4 days a week. You've been back less than a week and already you are getting home after 7. That leaves our son with a nanny for 12 hours a day, 60 plus hours a week. Arthur I am only going to be a mom two days out of the week. How is that no choosing?" He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off again, "I decided 9 months ago I would not do this job at the expense of everything else in my life, but I worry if I take this job, watching McKenzie grow up is the cost I will pay...and I'm not sure if I can do that." Tears began to pool in the base of her blue eyes as she tried to swallow her emotions back.

"Then don't. But, don't choose to stay home because you are afraid." Joan looked him directly in the eye, "You won't miss his life. You won't trade him for your career. You will be the same bad ass spy that I married, tenacious, stubborn." Joan cracked a smile and shook her head, "I know you can do both and I know you will never forgive yourself if you don't try."

Joan took a shaky breath knowing he was right. She had to try. "Okay."

"Okay?" He drew out the word and shook his head.

Joan laughed at him, "Okay, lets give this a try."

Grinning proudly over at his wife he stood and pulled her up with him. "Come here." Holding her hand, he led her to the nursery where there baby boy was asleep. Arthur wrapped his arms around her waist and they stood completely enraptured as they watched him sleep. Feeling his wife relax in his arms he whispered, "What were those terms you set?"

Joan whispered back, "I get a week to find a nanny before I start, then a week of working part time to adjust. I can have him in the office with me a few days a week until he is 12 months and I stop breastfeeding." She chuckled, "You should've seen the look on Senator Goddfreid's face when I said the word breast in the hearing. I thought he would die of embarrassment." She felt Arthur chuckle silently behind her. "Also, Auggie remains head of DPD and Calder takes the NCS position but keeps his clearances and permissions to fill-in if I ever need to be out."

Arthur nodded, "Good terms."

"Thanks." She half sighed the word as her husband began kissing her neck.

"Arthur"

"Hmm?"

"Arthur!" Her voice more intense than the last time she spoke.

He lifted his face from where it was buried in the nook between her neck and shoulder, "What?"

Joan nodded to the crib where their son had awakened and was happily watching his parents hovering over his bed.

Arthur laughed and released his wife so she could lift him out of the crib, "You know in about 8, 10 years he won't be so calm about me kissing you in front of him." Joan shook her head and shot him a dimpled grin as she sank into the rocking chair, "We will cross that bridge when we get there."

A knock on her door at 8:30 pulled Annie away from the page of Russian classifieds she was skimming through. Opening the door of her apartment she found Auggie standing with this hands folded over his cane and a sly grin on his face, "Got your message."

Moving out of the way so he could enter she grinned, "I see that."

Auggie folded his cane and before he could set it in its place on her kitchen counter Annie hugged him from behind, "I missed you."

Freeing his hand of the cane he wiggled himself 180 degrees until he was facing her, "I missed you too." He cupped her face and planted a long searing kiss on her lips leaving her breathless.

Annie stepped back and led him to the couch where she cuddled into his side.

"So, how was the land of Dracula with the evil mother-in-law?" He asked in a sassy tone.

Annie rolled her eyes, "See that sounds like the start of a horror film." Auggie nodded, obviously proud of himself. "The trip was interesting. Pretty sure Mihai knows I am not just an analyst." She felt Auggie stiffen beneath her, "What?"

"He warned me to not let my country use me at my personal expense"

Auggie tipped his chin up and furrowed his brow, "Strange."

"Yeah."

"You don't seem worried about it."

Glancing up at him she asked, "Should I be?"

Auggie shook his head dismissively, "No, I doubt it. He is retired SRI, our countries are allies, he obviously likes you so I wouldn't be too worried."

Annie sighed. "What did Calder and John want today?"

Auggie's fingers, which had been lightly trailing up and down her arm froze, "You are on a first name basis with the DCI?"

Annie chuckled, "Kind of...Barber said it had something to do with Joans hearing."

"Barber is the source of all insane rumors, but yes, it did have something to do with both Joan and Calders hearing, but nothing is set in stone yet."

She lifted her head from his chest and looked up at his face, "August…."

"Anne, I can't tell you anything yet, but, I promise to read you in before I make a public announcement this time around. Deal?"

Placing a hand on his chest, Annie nodded her blonde head, "Deal." Auggies fingertips resumed their feathery path along Annies arm in the comfortable silence that followed.

"I think Michelle finally trusts me."

"Well that's good, means we can check-off cover maintenance from your to do list."

Annie rolled her eyes, "Right, now all I have to do is convince Dr. Peterson I am not crazy."

Auggie kissed the top of her head and spoke into her hair, "He will come around. I did after all and I saw first hand how crazy you can be." His sarcastic quip earned a playful punch in the arm. He laughed the slight pain away and put on his coy tone, "Now, if you are done assaulting me...how about I welcome you home properly." He grinned down at where he assumed her eyes were.

Annie re-positioned herself so she could capture his lips with hers, "I would be up for that."

Chapter 26

Aftermath - the period of time immediately following a bad and usually destructive event.

Annie twisted the door-knob and knocked softly as she entered. Slowly she poked her head into the room.

Dr. Peterson removed his glasses and pointed his grey eyes toward the doorway, "Annie, come in." Standing he motioned for her to take a seat. As she sank into the arm-chair he settled back into the chair behind his desk and clasped his hands together atop the dark wooden surface.

As she had done every few days for the past 7 weeks, Annie handed him her spiral bound notebook. Usually she would sit back and wait the agonizing five or ten minutes for him to finish reading but today she pointed his attention directly to the page detailing the last nightmare she had. He flipped to the last entry in the notebook and returned his dark-rimmed reading glasses to the arch of his nose.

Annie watched him carefully running her teeth over her bottom lip and nearly opening her mouth to explain when she saw his eyebrows rise in response to the written words in his hands.

His right hand came up to pull his glasses from his eyes. Slowly folding them he closed the notebook and sat back in his chair. His elbows came to rest on the arm-rests and his fingers clasped together. "This was s week ago." Annie nodded silently. He tilted his head to the side, "No other nightmares since?"

Annie shook her head and breathed the word no as her eyes came to rest on her hands clenched in her lap. She inhaled sharply and looked up at him, then past him at the diplomas hanging behind his head, "I've had a few restless nights. Sometimes its hard to shut down my brain and sleep but that's about it."

He pursed his lips and nodded in understanding as he tapped his fingertips on the notebook cover, "Auggie was with you that night?"

Annie nodded and fought to keep the heat in her cheeks from painting them red.

"Did you talk with him about it."

"I did."

"And…did it help? Make things worse?"

"It helped, he helped me process it." She adjusted herself in the chair.

"Do you mind if I ask what the processing looked like?"

Annie flipped her hair, "I, uh….it freaked me out a little. You know it was…confusing."

"I imagine it was." His eyes bent with sympathy.

"Yeah…" Taking a deep breath she started her explanation, "I realized, part of why what happened in Hong Kong bothered me so much is, in a way, I trusted Henry. As crazy as it sounded I did. When he betrayed the people around me it infuriated me. But, uh… When he betrayed me, handed me over to the Chinese I was shocked, to be abandoned again, then angry at myself for being surprised and for having…. pity, sympathy for him."

"There is nothing wrong with seeing the best in people."

She swallowed hard as she nodded, "I know. I know. Now I know. The alley, was an un-avoidable decision. It felt out of my control in a way but I realize, I had complete control over the situation. No paradox of free will. Taking the life of another person is never simple. Never should be but, for the first time, I am okay with the decision I made."

Dr. Peterson nodded and smiled proudly at her. "And that is good. Realizing you had control of the situation, as hard as it may be to accept, is huge step in the process of beating this."

Annie nodded, letting out a relieved sigh as her hand absentmindedly ran through her hair.

"So, how was Romania?"

Annie took a deep breath and let one corner of her mouth lift up in a grin, "It was good."

"Successful?"

"Very."

He narrowed his eyes the way he did when he was reading her non-verbals, "How do you feel about being back in the field?"

Annie shook her head dismissively, "I wasn't really in the field, it was for my NOC."

Dr. Peterson gently shook his head and sat back in the chair crossing his arms over his chest, "I wasn't referring to Romania."

Annie lifted her chin and furrowed her brow. Dr. Peterson raised an eyebrow at her and suddenly realization hit the blonde. She chuckled lightly and looked at the carpet below her black kitten heels, processing the reproductions of her answers to his question. She let out a breathy sigh before raising her eyes to meet his, "You wanna clear me…for field work?"

He nodded silently.

"It's only been, 7 weeks. You said 8 to 12?"

He licked his lips and propped his elbows on the desk, "I didn't say I was releasing you from therapy. But I am considering clearing you for fieldwork. If you are ready."

Her brow furrowed and she felt her jaw set, "Am I ready?"

"I can't answer that question for you." The blonde sitting across from him looked at the ceiling and blew air through pursed lips. "Annie, I want you to feel comfortable with this decision. There is no pressure either way."

"But you think I am ready?" She asked bringing her chin down to rest parallel to the floor again.

He sighed and looked her directly in the eye, "In spite of your harshness towards this process in the beginning, and the un-predictable bumps in the road, you have submitted to the process. The goal of the process was to get you to where you knew who you were, to have you re-live the moments of trauma without experiencing the aftereffects. You have a support system, you have let yourself process the complicated web going dark formed in your life. You have accepted the changes and adjusted well. You are one stubborn CIA operative, but in this case your…lets paint it as tenacity, worked in your favor." Anne chuckled and shook her head knowing the word stubborn was probably painted in red in her file. "Annie, I am comfortable with clearing you as long as you commit to weekly therapy sessions for the next 5 weeks."

Annie took a deep breath and let his words roll over in her mind. They were words she had been afraid to hear and desperate to hear. Now, they were hanging in the air awaiting her response.

Walking down the hall that led to the DPD, Annie was more than elated to see Auggie emerging from the department. Realizing he was heading in the opposite direction she quickened her pace and called his name.

The lanky man dressed in grey slacks and a blue oxford paused and turned to face her with a grin on his face, "Walker. How was your session with Dr. Peterson?"

Annie grinned and grabbed onto his arm walking in step with him, "Strange but good...I think..." Pausing to take a breath and formulate her words Annie gave Auggie time to insert a comment into the conversation, "That's great." He stopped walking and placed both hands on her shoulders, "Listen, I have a meeting I need to be at...mmmm like now. Can we talk about it tonight?"

Annie felt her stomach drop but bit her tongue and nodded, "Sure."

"Your place or mine?"

Annie furrowed her brow and considered where she wanted to have this discussion. Although it had once been a safe place for her, Auggies apartment held too many memories of the past. He would be more comfortable there but she knew she would rather him at her place. Sighing she responded just over a whisper with a question in her voice, "Mine?"

"I'll be there by 8."

He quickly cupped her face and planted a kiss on her cheek before hurrying down the hall pointing his laser cane at the ground as he went. Annie watched until he disappeared around the corner and swallowed down her frustration.

Opening the door, Joan couldn't veil her surprise, "Annie?" Recovering she gave the girl a quick hug, "Welcome home...come in."

Annie gave a half grin and thanked her before biting the inside of her cheek and walking into the foyer.

"I heard Romania was a success?" She asked as she pushed the door closed.

"Yeah, it was a good trip." She meant to cover her melancholy with a light-hearted tone but as soon as she heard the words come out of her mouth, she knew she had failed.

Turning she met Joan's inquisitive glare accompanied by her tilted head and crossed arms. Thankfully Arthur had emerged from the living room to welcome the girl back.

"Annie!" He briefly hugged her, "So good to see you. Glad you're home."

Annie grinned and avoided Joan's glare. "Good to be home..."

Joan stepped into Annies field of view forcing their eyes to meet, "Why don't you tell us how the trip went and if you don't mind, help us profile the candidates we have to be McKenzie's nanny?"

Annie shrugged, "Uhhh...sure."

Arthur wrapped an arm around her shoulder and walked beside her into the dining room, "No one is as good as you at researching potential assets. Operative McKenzie thanks you."

Giving his joke a fake chuckle, Annie took her seat. Joan rolled her eyes at her husband as she sank into the dining room chair at the head of the table. Arthur took a seat beside her and across from Annie. Between McKenzie was happily reclining in his swing between the two blondes. Annie leaned over and kissed his nose eliciting a happy ah-goo from the little man and a smile. Annie glanced from his grin up to his mothers. Shooting the girl a proud grin Joan commented, "Seems he missed you too..." as she handed Annie a pile of files.

Opening the first, Annie couldn't stifle the chuckle, "You had their CIA files pulled?"

Holding up a hand and shaking her head but not peeling her eyes away from the paper Joan explained, "Calder's idea. Not mine."

An hour later Annie had updated them on the details of her trip and they had reduced the pile of seventeen candidates to two solid leads whom Joan and Arthur would interview later that week. Secretly, Annie felt bad for the poor souls who go the interviews knowing they weren't expecting an interrogation from two CIA agents.

While Joan and Arthur cleaned up the mess of paperwork and stowed the files in the safe before one of them could return them to Langley, Annie laid McKenzie on the couch and sat on the floor beside him watching him try to catch onto her hair. At one point, his tiny hand gripped firmly on a chunk and Annie stifled a yelp. Prying her hair free she pulled it into a poly tail and grabbed his favorite rattle to distract him.

Finishing their task, Arthur came and took his son from Annie so he could change is diaper.

Annie did not protest.

Joan leaned against the arch that opened the living room to the hallway and crossed her arms, eyeing her operative critically, "Annie?" She startled the girls attention to her, "I know you didn't come here to profile nannies." A guilty look washed over the girls face and Joan nodded half in understanding and half in determination.

Joan reached for her coat hanging on the coat rack and slipped into it before handing Annie her coat. "Arthur..." She spoke in a raised tone as she threw her voice up the staircase where her husband was, "We're gonna go for a walk." Arthur poked his head into the stair-well and voiced his agreement. Annie groaned on the inside as Joan shot her a raised brow and opened the front door.

The two blondes started walking down the sidewalk. Luckily it was an un-characteristically warm day for the D.C. winter. No snow, no ice, no rain. They walked in comfortable silence until they reached a cafe a few blocks down.

Settled at a table in the back corner of the cafe with lattes, the comfortable silence became increasingly un-comfortable and tense as Joan watched her operative through narrow eyes.

Annie took a sip and placed her cup on the table, sliding the cardboard wrapped around the paper cup up and down. Taking a deep breath she quickly glanced around the room before meeting Joan's eyes and deciding to take the blunt route, "Dr. Peterson cleared me today."

Joan's eyes widened in surprise. She took a sip of her latte and also scanned the room, finding nobody in earshot she spoke freely but in a hushed tone, "For field work?"

The blonde girl nodded, "Yeup."

"How are you feeling about it?"

"Nervous, but cautiously excited. I still have 5 more sessions but a week from today I will be back with my former clearance and permissions."

Joan chuckled, "Congratulations Annie. I'm glad you decided to stay."

Annie leaned forward, "Joan, do you think I'm ready?"

Surprised by the question Joan sat back and took a moment to contemplate her response, "I think you are, if for no other reason than the Annie Walker that first came home from Hong Kong would have never asked that question." She tilted her head to the side and gave Annie a sarcastic grin, "Nor would the Annie Walker who walked into my office 4 years ago."

Annie chuckled at the memory and nodded, "True."

"What are you worried about?"

Annie shrugged, "Just how it will all play out. How it will feel to be in the field again. To be back in the mud."

Taking a deep breath the older blonde opened her mouth to speak, "I can't promise you things will always be black and white. Things will get messy. It is the nature of this business, but I can promise you this, I will be in your corner. No matter what. And I am pretty sure Auggie and Calder will agree with me when I say, you won't be in the mud alone."

With a smile on her face Annie nodded, "I know."

The two blondes relaxed and sipped their coffee. Suddenly, Joan sat up straight in her chair.

"Actually, I have news for you too." Joan's eyes lit up with excitement.

Annie gave her a surprised and curious grin, "Okay..."

"I will be re-instated as DCS. Also a week from today."

"That's great! When did you find out?"

"Officially this morning. Un-officially they told me at the end of my hearing yesterday."

Annie took a sip out of her, now half-empty cup. "Eric…Barber…told me something, unexpected, happened in the hearing?"

Joan shook her head, "It never ceases to amaze me how quickly information flies through that building. But, yes. Calder withdrew himself as a candidate leaving only me."

Annies eyes were now wide with shock, "He what?"

"Pulled me into a conference room and read me in minutes before I walked into my hearing. He will take over NCS."

"Braithwaite's old post?"

"Yes."

"Who will take over the DPD?"

Joan shot her a sly grin, "I think Auggie would rather I not answer that question, officially."

Annie bit her lip and nodded, "Probably so"

At ten after 8, Annie heard him knock at the door. Annie closed her book and set it on the grey armchair beside her fireplace before crossing the room to open it.

"Hey." She said with an obvious smile in her voice.

Auggie reached for her, finding her shoulder he brought his hand up to cup her face, kiss her lightly and whisper his greeting against her lips.

Annie pulled away and cleared a path for him to enter. Auggie folded his cane and set it in its place on the edge of her kitchen counter before moving over to the couch. He had already memorized the layout of her place. Annie followed close behind and set herself on the coffee table. Her knees against his.

Auggie raised an inquisitive eyebrow, "Something on your mind Walker?"

"Dr. Peterson cleared me today. For field work. I start a week from today."

His eyes widened in surprise as he reached to find her hands and hold them in his, "That's great!" He could tell her enthusiasm was only half hearted. Realising why he ran a thumb over the top of her hand, "That's what you wanted to tell me in the hallway?"

"Yeah. It was."

"Annie I'm sorry."

"I'm surprised Calder didn't tell you."

Auggie tilted his head from one site to the other, his dark hair flying back and forth, "Me too…but I'm glad I heard it from you."

Annie kissed his hand and moved to join him on the couch and to cuddle into his side.

Auggie let out a content sigh and kissed the top of her head. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Of course, I'm a spy after all." She responded in a coy tone as she tilted her head so she could see his face.

"Yeah I work at Langley, I know first hand spies can't keep secrets but….thats not he point…." He inhaled sharply, "I was headed to a meeting with Calder and the DCI."

"Mhmm"

"And, Joan is taking over the DCS post."

Annie grinned, "I already knew that."

"How?"

"After you shut me out to go meet with Calder…."

He interrupted and put on a pathetic puppy dog face, "…and the DCI"

"Sorry with Calder and the DCI…I spent the afternoon at the Campbells and Joan read me in."

His brow furrowed and Annie knew he was wondering just how much she had told her. She decided to play dumb, "Anything else happen in that meeting I need to know about? Anything you want to tell me so I hear it from you first?"

His face relaxed and he pointed his dark blank eyes toward where he thought Annies might be, "I do actually…you are looking at the new head of the Domestic Protection Division. The word interim is no longer a part of my title."

Annie leaned up and captured his lips in hers, "Congratulations." She whispered into his mouth before lightly pecking at his top lip.

He pulled back and lifted that eyebrow again, "You knew didn't you? Joan told you?"

Annie fiddled with the buttons on his shirt, "Technically no, but she dropped a bit of a hint."

Auggie nodded and was surprised when Annies lips crashed into his again. If you told him two months ago that he would be head of the DPD and Annie would be back in the agency he wouldn't have believed you. And if you had told him she would be kissing him on the couch in her M-Street apartment he definitely wouldn't have believed you.

But here they were.

The darkness that had consumed their world was almost just a memory.

Quick Note: Had a few people ask if this is the end? No, but you can't stay in the aftermath forever ;P There is one more chapter to this story.

Chapter 27

One Week Later...

The alarm ringing on his phone brought him out of a blissfully peaceful sleep. Auggie groaned and reached over to find his phone on the nightstand. His flailing arm failing to find Annie he sat up in the empty bed and rubbed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. Alarm silenced, his other senses kicked in. Taking a deep breath he perceived the scent of coffee in the kitchen. Phone still in his hand, he stumbled out of bed and slowly made his way to the kitchen where he poured himself a cup of coffee sipping on it as he listened to the messages on his phone.

"Voicemail 1 received at five twenty two, a.m."

After the electronic voice paused, Annies came over the phone, her light happy tone eliciting a grin from Auggie, "Morning Aug. Coffee is ready. I'm running an errand before work. Don't worry, I will be in the office by 8. I promise."

Annie found herself back in the parking lot of Arlington National Cemetery. It was early, just after 6am and there weren't many visitors yet. Annie took a deep breath and emerged from the car. After slamming the door shut she took a minute to gather her emotions. She didn't want to be here but she knew she needed to do this, she needed clarity. She started her long walk to her fathers grave. Today was a day to start over for her. To let go of the past.

Arriving at her fathers fresh grave she felt tears gather in her eyes. This time, she didn't push them back she merely let them fall. Her hand reached into her pocket and removed the small green butterfly from Opala. Annie sank to the ground, still damp with morning dew, and sat Indian style at the foot of his grave. Her fingers ran over the plastic object and her eyes remained fixed on his grave marker. The last time she looked at his grave she felt anger, disappointment, rejection. Today she just felt grief and knowing it was a healthy feeling, she let herself feel it.

She bit her lip and took a deep, slow breath before opening her mouth to speak at a level just above a whisper.

"Hi Dad...I know this is silly and that you can't hear me but, I came to read you in." She glanced around her, finding nobody to be seen, much less in ear-shot so she sniffled and went on, "I work for the CIA. I have for 4 years. Almost quit but….you always told us serving your country was your greatest honor and greatest burden. As a kid I had no idea what you meant." She chuckled, "But now I do. I'm afraid of stepping back into this life. I know it's what I was born to do, but...I wish you were here to tell me I was doing the right thing. Tell me it's worth it. I miss you dad."

Annie sat for a bit longer watching the sun creep into the sky. Looking to her left she saw groups of people beginning to file into the cemetery and knew it was time to leave. So she stood and brushed herself off. Stepping toward the grave marker she looked at the butterfly in her hand. Opala's words echoed in her mind, "The sorrow and darkness can only last so long. Morning will come, and with it color and joy." Annie looked around her and smiled. Feeling content, feeling joy. Placing the butterfly on the grave marker she whispered a goodbye and slowly walked towards her car.

"Joan" Arthur shouted through the house as he strode up the staircase, taking on two stairs at a time. He found her sitting in the rocking chair in the corner of the nursery silently rocking their son.

She glanced up at him then let her eyes fall back to the two month old wonder in her arms.

"Joan, you aren't dressed?" He looked her over, hair finished, makeup on but still wrapped in a robe. He glanced at the watch in his wrist, "It's almost 7, Bobbie will be here any minute."

Joan sighed as he mentioned the nannys name. Bobbie was kind-hearted girl and Joan knew they were lucky to have her. For the past week she had been at the house with Joan and McKenzie during the day getting to know them, and where everything was in the house. The girl had long, dirty blonde hair and a round face. She had graduated college with a degree in early childhood education. Navy brat, Top of her class in High School and College. Red Cross Certified, she got her first nannying job when she was just 16. Her references all spoke of her as if she were an angel in human form. But what won Joan and Arthur over immediately was the training her father had given her in self-defense and on the shooting range. That and of the two they interviewed, she calm, un-intimidated, and candid about working for two clandestine agents. Joan knew she could trust the girl, but today she was leaving her and McKenzie alone. All day. It was something that broke her heart in a way she never knew was possible.

Looking up at Arthur she responded in a low voice, "Maybe I should take him with me today."

Arthur walked over and leaned down to plant a light kiss on her forehead, "Maybe, but eventually, you are going to have to leave him here."

Joan took rubbed a thumb over her sons tiny foot and felt tears in her eyes again. Taking a deep breath she stifled the emotions. She knew this day was coming, "I know." She kissed her sons forehead and handed him to Arthur before standing, "I'm gonna go get dressed."

Arthur grabbed her arm with his free hand and spun her around to face him before placing a gentle kiss on her lips, "I'm proud of you Director Campbell." McKenzie let out a gurgle as if on cue, "Our son is proud of you too." Arthur interpreted for her.

Joan let a dimpled grin take over her features as she shook her head at him. The doorbell ringing pulled her out of the moment, "It's probably Bobbie, can you go let her in? I'll be down in ten."

Arthur nodded and followed her out of the room.

Ten minutes later, Joan came down the stairs. Her heels clicking with every step and her long blonde hair falling over her black pants-suit jacket. Entering the living room she found Bobbie sitting across from her husband who was still holding their son. Arthur stood when she entered and handed her the baby boy after kissing his forehead.

"Morning Mrs. Campbell."

Joan cradled her son as she turned to face Bobbie, "Morning, please, like I said last week, just call me Joan."

Bobbie nodded in agreement and Joan started rattling off instructions, "So, you have memorized our emergency numbers?"

The girl flipped her sandy blonde hair to the side and quoted the digits.

"Good, I nursed him an hour ago. There are more than enough bottles in the back of the fridge for the day. He will be hungry in an hour. You know all of this. Um, I will be back by 7 at the latest."

Arthur interrupted, "I'll be back before her, around 5."

Joan shot him a relieved and grateful look before taking a deep breath, "Well, this is it isn't it?" Arthur nodded. Second, third and hundredth thoughts flew through Joan's mind as she glanced down at her grinning son once more. She felt Arthurs hand snake around her back and pull her into his side. Joan forced herself to relax and kissed her son goodbye before handing him to Bobbie.

"Joan, we will be fine. I promise." She gave Joan a reassuring smile as she started swaying the fidgety baby in her arms.

"I have no doubt." Giving her son one last glance she felt her husband leave her side before handing her a trench coat.

"And good luck today Joan."

After quickly thanking her and kissing her sons forehead one more time, Joan forced herself out the front door.

Bobbie moved to the doorway and held McKenzie up waving his hand for him as his parents headed to the driveway.

Annie swiped her badge and walked straight through security and found a tall handsome blind man waiting for her, "Auggie."

He grinned and felt her hand take his arm as the two walked toward the elevator, "Walker, how was you errand?"

Annie nodded her head, "It was good. Thanks for not freaking out."

Hearing no one join them in the elevator, Auggie swiftly turned her and pressed her back into the wall as the doors slid shut, "Oh I freaked out." He said before kissing her softly.

"You did?" Annie asked against his lips before pressing herself into him and deepening the kiss leaving them both breathless.

Auggie took a few fast breaths, "I did. Ran hummingbird just to be sure I knew where you were."

Annie let him kiss her again before lightly pushing him away, "And were you right?"

Auggie chuckled and re-positioned himself beside her against the wall, her hand in his, "I sure was. On that note, are you okay?"

"I'm fine Auggie. I promise." She gave his hand a re-assuring squeeze as they reached the 7th floor. The two walked into Joan's office and found her and Calder seated at the conference table waiting on them.

Annie took a seat across from Calder and between Auggie and Joan.

Calder opened the file in front of him, "So, you need your new security codes Walker." He looked up at her, "And welcome back by the way." He slid the folder across the table at her. "Also, your new cover identities, go pack, passports, etc. are ready for you to pick up before you leave today. I assume you have a safe?"

Annie looked up, "I do."

"Good" He pointed the next statement at Joan, "Now, if that is all you need me for I am going to go finish moving into my new office."

Joan nodded in dismissal and the three stood to retreat back to their respected offices: Auggie to the DPD, Calder to NCS, and Annie too...

"Annie, can you stay behind for a moment?" Joan asked as the three were heading for the door.

Suddenly Annie felt like she did the first day working at the CIA when met Joan Campbell….nervous, no terrified was a better term.

Gulping down a swallow she exchanged a wide-eyed glare with Auggie and received a "I-have-no-idea-whats-going-on" shrug so she slowly turned to face her boss, "Sure."

Joan walked to her desk and Annie took an arm-chair across from her.

"Feel good to be back?" Joan asked.

"Yeah, nice to see you back in that chair too by the way."

Joan shrugged dismissively and flipped open the file on her desk, "We need to talk about what department you want to work in. Technically you still work for me . Special Projects for the office of the DCS. However, I have a few other options I want to discuss with you since this was initially a temporary transfer." Joan shot Annie a sideways glance which the blonde girl evaded. "So, you can work for Calder in NCS, stay where you are, or..." She looked at Annie with narrow and intense eyes, "...you can go back to work in the DPD under Auggie."

Joan propped her elbows onto the desk and wove her fingers together in front of her face.

Annie took a deep breath and rested her head in her right hand. She took a long moment of silence to get her thoughts together, "Before I answer, can I ask you a question?"

Joan set her hands onto the desk and straightened her posture, "I would expect nothing less."

"Do you think it's easier to be in a relationship in the CIA when one of you isn't in charge of the other?" Joan furrowed her brow causing Annie to elaborate, "I mean, do you think it would be less complicated for Auggie and I if I work in a different department?"

Joan relaxed back into her chair and crossed her legs as she fiddled with her wedding ring, "Annie, no matter where you work, relationships are complicated. Him being your boss, as you may remember, creates a unique tension, a-a unique set of challenges. For Arthur and I that tension was exacerbated by the way our relationship started and the subsequent insecurities about each others faithfulness. You and Auggie can make it work, but, Annie, if you do decide not to work for him, make sure you explain why. Leave no room for him to perceive it as rejection."

Annie nodded and brought her hands back to her lap.

"So, who do you want to work for?"

Annie bit her lip and let the question roll over her mind one more time before meeting Joans eyes with resolute determination, "I wanna stay where I am."

Joan fought to keep the grin off her face as she opened the drawer of her desk and revealed another folder, "Okay, in that case, here is your first mission." She stated matter-of-factly handing the file to Annie who stood to receive it.

"Protocol for meeting with a Mossad officer to rendezvous with a mutual asset and get intel on a threat against the games in Sochi?" Annie asked as she read.

"Keeping Sochi secure is a top priority right now for us and Mossad. The asset contacted us and we agreed to arrange the meet."

Annie looked at Joan with a raised brow, "Isn't this a job for a rookie?"

Joan gave Annie a soft glare, "And what do you think you are Annie?" Taking a deep breath Joan rose to stand and plant her hands on the desk-top, "This is an important piece of intel that we need. Today being your first day back after going dark, yes consider yourself a rookie for the time being. You have to prove yourself all over again. Not so much to me but to every other department head in the CIA."

"Fine. Why do we need Mossad for this?"

Joan groaned, "Because Rivka feels we owe her after she allowed us to borrow one of her agents to help a certain operative fake her death."

Annie shook her head, "But the CIA didn't…"

Joan stood to her full height and crossed her arms as she interrupted, "It doesn't matter...now we owe her and I can't blow her off. We need to keep them on our side."

"How did she even find out Eyal helped me?"

"I don't know, it's irrelevant now." She groaned before putting on her all business tone and meeting Annies eyes with ferocity, "Learn the protocol, Auggie will be your handler. Go check in with him. Your meet is in an hour."

Annie bit her tongue and forced her eyes not to roll as she turned to leave Joan's office.

Settling back into her seat Joan watched the girl leave noting the obvious frustration in her footfall. Half of her mouth lifted into a smirk. That was the Annie she knew. It was the Annie she had been waiting to return.

Auggie pulled his headphones of his ears and leaned back in his chair as he heard Annie approach him. She perched herself on the edge of his desk, "I'm meeting with a Mossad officer to chaperone their meet with their asset?" Her frustration was evident in her voice and Auggie smirked.

"Technically it's our asset. We share." He gave her a cheeky grin, "Annie, its your first day back, let's not rock the boat."

Annie rolled her eyes, "Do you not remember the last time I helped Mossad contact an asset? The last two, no three times in fact. People died, things blew up. I'm really not the best choice for this."

"Not to mention it's beneath your pay grade." He read her thoughts aloud and felt her subsequent glare. "Well, Annie, I have news for you."

"What?"

"First, you have to do this whether you like it or not, second, I am now the guy who cleans up your domestic messes so try not to make one and third..."He reached across his desk and grabbed a set of car keys before holding them out towards her.

Annie immediately recognized the type of key and chuckled, "Calder found my car?" She asked as she took the key and flipped it open and shut.

Auggies face twisted, "Mmm, not exactly."

Annie looked at him wide-eyed, "Than what's the Volkswagen key for?"

Leaning back he casually placed his hands behind his head, "For the new black CC in the parking lot." He shot her a cheeky grin.

"What happened to…"

He interrupted her and rolled his chair in front of her placing a hand on her thigh, "I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this but.." He patted her sympathetically, "…your car is in Volkswagen heaven."

Annie chuckled and bent down to kiss him, "I'm gonna miss that car." She whispered against his lips. Sitting up straight she got a glimpse of the clock on the wall, "Gotta go Aug."

Grabbing the hand rests of Auggies office chair, Annie rolled him back giving herself room to get off his desk. Stopping in the doorway she whipped her hear around, "Wish me luck?"

He grinned, "Good luck, even tho I know you won't need it."

Annie cocked her head to the side, "I won't?"

"No, but I probably will. Remember your last first day at the agency….nightmare."

"I'm rolling my eyes at you."

Auggie just grinned, obviously happy with myself as he pulled on his headphones.

Annie made sure her red and white, "I Love DC" pin was easily seen pinned to the outside of her tan trench coat. After scanning the area she leaned on the wall surrounding the outdoor ice skating rink where she was to rendezvous with the foreign agent. She was mesmerized by the skaters until she heard footsteps approaching from behind. Knowing it could be anyone she waited in patient alertness for her contact to initiate the protocol.

"Unfortunate the Holidays are over." A deep voice spoke the first line of the protocol behind her. Annie smirked as she immediately recognized the voice and turned to face him, "Eyal?"

He grinned but quickly wiped it away as he took a step forward and looked at her suspiciously, "That is not the next line of the protocol."

"Eyal, you know it's me." She said pointing to their matching red pins.

"No…no I don't. Protocol first." He said in a falsely stubborn tone.

Annie rolled her eyes, "Seriously?"

He shrugged and wrinkled his nose, "For old times sake."

Annie let out a sign and spoke in a lame, mono-tone voice, "Do you travel here for the holidays often?"

"Just to see the tree in front of the White house."

"It is magnificent."

As protocol dictated she removed her red pin and pinned it above his own.

Eyal grinned down at her, "So it is you Neshema."

Finishing her task Annie looked up at him with suspicion in her eyes, "Why do I have a feeling you got someone drunk in order to be wearing those tacky red pins?"

He shrugged and started walking toward the parking lot, "A spy has to have his secrets."

Annie fell in step beside him flipping her hair as she looked over at him, "They sure do."

The aftermath cannot last forever. Eventually you have to salvage what you can from the wreckage and step out of this temporary period of time called the aftermath. It isn't a place you settle down. It's a place you walk through.

And Annie has emerged on the other end.

Well faithful readers, this is it. Thank you for your constructive criticism and for reading and reviewing and messaging! You all taught me a lot through this process!

Special shoult out to my faithful editors and encouragers (you know who you are)...Aftermath never would have made it this far without you. I truly enjoyed writing this fic and I am beyond elated you all seem to have enjoyed reading it! It's been a party!

The End