A/N: I don't' own DGM, I just own the sweets I ate to create the idea of this one-shot.

Warning: Yaoi, Crack, almost no plot, and Komui rampaging with monkeys. (maybe o.o)

Enjoy?

A certain white-haired exorcist lay sprawled on the couch in Komui's office. Just moments ago, he was barely awake but trying to listen to the mission that Komui was talking about.

"…Allen?" Komui stood and walked over to the couch.

"No tests today…. Go use someone else…." Allen murmured in his sleep.

Komui chuckled and crouched down in front on Allen, "Allen~ who do you love~?"

"An exorcist… a cute one~"

"You sure you're sleeping?"

"What're you talking about? I'm on a train to Utah."

'Insert WTF face here.' Komui stared at Allen in disbelief and went back to his desk before a realization hit him.

"THAT BRAT COULD BE IN LOVE WITH MY PRECIOUS LENALEE!" Komui ran into his lab.

Later that afternoon, Allen reawakened. He sat up and yawned, only for Komui to pour some liquid into his mouth. After coughing, Allen swallowed it and asked, "K-Komui…. What the hell was that?"

"That, my dear friend was my new invention!"

Allen's eyes grew big then filled with anger. "Bloody hell! What does this one do?" Komui twirled in his chair and chuckled darkly. Allen gulped, 'That is not a good sign…'

"Relax, dear exorcist! I just created a potion that will make you confess!" Komui cheered and threw his hands in the air.

"Confess what?"

"Your love! But I'm going to find out if it's my Lenalee you're in love with and murder you!" Komui laughed and rested his head in his palm. A glint of mischief flickered from behind his glasses.

"So what are the side effects…?"

"I dunno."

"Seriously? You're joking right?"

"Allen… Just test it out first. Who do you love?"

Allen's personality changed dramatically, "Easy! It's-"

"Don't tell me! Tell your crush!" Komui stalked after the boy as Allen got up and walked out the office.

Komui saw Allen pass Lenalee's room before he sighed in relief and walked back to his office.

Allen smirked as he reached his destination. He opened the door and went in quietly. He tried his best to avoid books as he snuck up to the bed.

Lavi was in his room reading a book on his bed, while listening to music through his headphones, so he never noticed the blur of white hair coming up to his bed. He did notice the shift of weight but passed off the thought to be Gramps again.

He didn't look up until he noticed someone on top of him. Lavi looked up into blue-gray eyes, "A-Allen? How ya doin', buddy?" Allen had his hands placed on either side of Lavi's head. One knee was at his left with another between the redhead's legs.

"Lavi…" Allen breathed and pushed up the redhead's shirt. Lavi stopped him.

"Allen! Don't joke with me… I'm reading." Lavi put his hands on Allen's chest and tried to push him off, but the boy wouldn't budge.

Allen leaned down and whispered into Lavi's ear, "Lavi… I love you." The boy moved and pushed his lips against Lavi's. The redhead turned away and pushed more against the boy.

"Dammit Allen! Get off me!" Allen stared Lavi in the eye, pain and guilt rushing into his features as the potion wore off.

"…LAVI?" Allen reverted back and jumped off the older teen, falling off the bed in the process, "Why was I on top of you? What the hell! I'm gonna kill that bastard Komui!" Allen stood and turned to leave when Lavi grabbed his wrist.

"Komui? Allen what the fuck? You just walked in and tried to attack me! You also claimed you love me!"

"…Well… Komui gave me a potion that possessed me into confessing to my crush… WAIT! Oh shit." Allen tried to twist his hand out of Lavi's grip to no avail. The redhead quirked an eyebrow.

"You seriously love me? That's new." Allen blushed and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Yeah… But I didn't mean to do that, sorry…" Lavi looked at the boy; he was tense, as if he was waiting for rejection. An odd feeling filled the redhead's gut, causing him to respond truthfully.

"It's not that I don't like it…" Hold up. Do I actually like it?

… Yes, I do.

Lavi tilted his head and grinned, "I actually like it." Allen's head snapped up and stared at Lavi with wide eyes. Black Allen rose out from the depths of Allen's soul and a smirk placed itself on the boy's lips.

"You like, eh?" He crawled closer, "Then why were you trying so hard to push me off huh?" Lavi swallowed and Allen roughly kissed him, sliding his hand up Lavi's shirt. They rolled so the redhead was on top. Lavi jumped off Allen and ran out the room.

"…Damn."

A/N: THE END. I was gonna make a lemon but I chickened out cause I think this idea is weird now that I haven't eaten sugar… weird huh? I decided to have a Komui rampage with monkeys now. (Komui and Lenalee are carried by monkeys :D)

Komui was walking down the hall when Lavi flew by and knocked Lenalee over.

"YOU FILTHY ANIMAL!" Komui roared and blew a whistle. Hundreds of monkeys came barging down the halls and picked up Komui before running over the redhead (and picking up Lenalee too.)

YAY! I FEEL COMPLETE! Still… Should I? Or should I not write lemon? It will be my first so don't expect much if I do. :P