New chapter! Unedited.

Also, I'm sorry for the last part of chapter one, I know it was rushed (I might edit it one day though).

Anyway, please review and tell me what you thought of this chapter!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Vampire Diaries nor any of the characters.

CHAPTER 2

It had been a week since she died. A week since she turned. A week since her life changed forever. A week since she lost her magic. And a week since Tyler called and Elena returned.

Caroline had left not long after Elena returned, ecstatic to have both her best friends back, yet eager to see her new family. She'd promised to visit soon and made Damon promise to take care of Bonnie through her transition, to which he had scoffed and replied with an 'of course'.

Elena had been surprised, but extremely relieved, when Bonnie was still alive. Or, as alive as a vampire can be. She'd given Bonnie her old lapis lazuli ring as protection from the sun since their residence witch now was a vampire, and also the one in need of it. She'd been surprised and angry at how short a time she had been asleep, and how much that had changed. The heretics, Julian, Mystic Falls becoming a ghost town, Caroline having a new family, to which she was thrilled as well as surprised, and Bonnie becoming a vampire.

Damon had almost dropped his phone in his hurry to get to Elena, whom he had spent the most of every day since then with. He had told Caroline to watch over Bonnie and then he was gone faster than they could say goodbye. He had returned hours later with an exhausted and relieved Elena, who had hugged her two best friends tightly.

Bonnie had held her breath as she hugged the human Elena, afraid of the thirst every vampire complained about. It had gone surprisingly well, almost as though it was a miracle. Maybe she wouldn't have that intense thirst. Maybe she had been prepared enough for it.

Oh, how naive she had been. It had been a week. Of struggle. Of temptation. Of trying and failing to remain in control. Yet, nothing had been as bad as this day, when she found herself walking down the hallway of her dormitory at Withmore, her books in hand. She couldn't see or hear anyone, but that was okay. That was more than okay. It meant there was nothing to make her hunger flare up and her throat burn.

But she spoke too soon and suddenly a curse reached her ears before a sweet scent drifted through the air and found her nose. Dark veins popped up under her reddening eyes. She felt her fangs extend and poke her lower lip.

Her books crashed to the floor, her feet moving without her mind's permission. Instinct guided her, silencing her thoughts, enabling them to interfere. She didn't think, she didn't want to.

She flew down the hallway. A left turn, then a right, then straight ahead until she came to a stop in front of a staircase. On the floor beneath it, was a girl. She'd slipped down the last few steps, most likely, and cut herself on something or other.

"Oh, thank God, could you he-" The girl looked up as she spoke, meeting Bonnie's eyes, taking in her vampire face. Her mouth shut, then opened, preparing to scream. Bonnie didn't give her the chance.

"Don't scream," She stared into the girl's eyes, though Bonnie had half a mind to wonder exactly how she managed to compel her. But the girl shut her mouth again and Bonnie wasted no time as she lunged forward, sinking her teeth into the throbbing vein at her neck.

She almost moaned as the sweet liquid seeped into her mouth, the taste so much better than any animal or blood bag. So warm and sweet, straight from the vein. There was no one to stop her and no one to tell her what she was doing was wrong. Because it was. Yet, not even her mind wanted to force her to stop. It was just silent.

The girl in her arms was struggling, but her kicks and shoves became weaker as the blood left her body. It was then that something snapped her out of her drunken stupor and made her stop. A flash. A memory. Not her own, certainly, but what must be the girl's. A family, happy and together, in a small garden outside a small home. Kids running around, playing tag, as the parents laughed. It was such a perfect picture, something Bonnie herself had never experienced, but something which she had longed for all her life.

It made her break her trance and stumble back, trembling, hoping. Hoping she wasn't dead and she hadn't killed the girl. She was no more than her own age, she knew, but this girl would grow old, get a family, just like in that memory, and live a happy life. Bonnie couldn't, wouldn't, take that away from her.

The girl was still breathing, although it was weak. The puncture wounds in her neck sealed itself as Bonnie let her own blood flow into the girl's mouth, shaking all the way. Then she compelled her to forget.

.*.*.*.*.*.

Her mind was reeling as she drove to the boarding house where she knew Damon and Elena was. They would be able to help her for sure. At least she hoped. She couldn't remember even Caroline being this bad. Then again, Caroline had Stefan to teach her. Bonnie had Damon, and he had been preoccupied the last week, and Bonnie hadn't wanted to interrupt them. Elena had come back sooner than they had thought, maybe, but Damon had been miserable, or so he had proclaimed, in the months she had been asleep. Bonnie didn't want to ruin his happiness with having Elena back.

But sometimes, things were more important. What if she really lost control next time and killed someone? She couldn't take that chance. If they had to drug her with vervain and lock her up in the basement, so be it. She didn't care. As long as she wasn't a threat to anyone, she could cope.

Her hands gripped the steering wheel, threatening to break it with her newly gained strength. The fact that she almost drained someone of blood didn't exactly make her weaker either. She practically vibrated with power, every inch of her body on high alert, every little thing clear to her. Every smell, every sound... she could hear it all and she didn't know how not to.

She drove to the boarding house faster than she had ever done before, thankfully not encountering any police. Not that any of them would be any problem. The once who didn't know, she could compel, and the ones she did know... well, Matt wouldn't exactly arrest her.

Her car-door flew open as she ran to the door, throwing that open too. Damon was downstairs in less than a second, standing at the bottom of the staircase in all his shirtless glory. He was raising an eyebrow at her, taking in her disheveled, bloody and panicking state.

"What happened?" The worst came out before she had the time to say anything. She rushed forward, throwing herself into his arms, needing the comfort of her best friend. He didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her in return. "What happened, Bonnie?" His voice was more forceful.

She didn't shed a tear, she couldn't, but she heaved for breath, finally taking it all in over her. A minute longer and the girl would be dead. Because of her. "I almost killed someone, Damon. I almost drained her."

Damon didn't say anything, just led her to the couch and sat her down next to him. She straightened up, removing herself from his embrace, as he finally spoke, "But you didn't...right?" He sounded unsure.

Bonnie shook her head, having calmed down somewhat. Her head cleared. He was right, she hadn't. She'd managed to stop just in time. Maybe she was in better control than she realised. Maybe this whole running-off-to-Damon thing was just her overreacting. After all, she had had heightened emotions ever since she became a vampire. It was normal. She felt like she was sixteen again, at the hight of her puberty, with her emotions running all over the place. It made her feel stupid, like some little girl who couldn't handle herself in the real world. And it made her angry. At herself.

"You're right. I do have control." She stood, shaking her head with an amused smile. She briefly wondered if the emotions were supposed to be so out f control. But she remembered how Caroline had managed to ruin a relationship because of it. It calmed her.

Damon nodded in agreement. "See? There's nothing to worry about, Bonnie. You'll be fine." He placed his hands on her shoulders as he stood too. "But just in case, maybe you should drink blood more often. Just in the beginning until you're one hundred percent sure you actually do have control."

She nodded in agreement. "But only animal blood from now on."

Damon wrinkled his nose, but didn't comment on it. He would know it would be useless. "Maybe you should stay here for a few days too. Elena and I could help you." Damon said as he stood too. He tilted his head to look at her, judging her reaction.

"You don't believe I have control, do you?" She couldn't help the annoyance that seeped into her voice at his words.

"Well, see, it's not that I don't believe you believe that, but..." He didn't finish, he didn't have to, Bonnie knew exactly what he meant.

"Some best friend you are, just propping me full of confidence, don't you?" She sent him a withering glare, which he didn't seem to be bothered by. Oh, he would one day.

"Yes, yes, okay, so are you staying?" He arched an eyebrow in question, completely ignoring the look she was giving him. Some day, he would regret his complete disregard for body language.

"With you two on your honeymoon? No thanks."

"It's not a honey-"

"That's not the point, Damon. I have super hearing now, remember? I'd rather not hear you two...enjoy yourself." Bonnie's nose wrinkled involuntarily. It wasn't something she wanted to hear. Or see for that matter. Or smell.

"We can play nice!" To give him credit, he looked almost offended by her accusation, but it was completely ruined by the amused smirk that lit up his face moments later, before he added, "Kinda."

"Where is Elena, anyway?" Bonnie had almost forgot the brunette was supposed to be there.

"Sleeping." Damon shrugged. "Or," he added, "I wouldn't be surprised if she woke up at how loud you slammed that door. Seriously, you could have entered like a normal person?"

"It's the middle of the day!" She rolled her eyes.

"Yes, well, we didn't exactly do much sleeping during the night."

"Gross," Bonnie wrinkled her nose and shook her head to get the image out of her head. Her two best friends doing it? She knew it happened, of course she did, but she'd rather not envision it.

"The point is, we can help you gain control if you just stay here." Damon took her hand carefully in his, calming her by rubbing his thumbs over her palm in reassurance. It was such a comforting gesture that Bonnie found herself nodding in agreement.

"Okay," she said, "I'll stay. Until I get control."

.*.*.*.*.*.

Elena arrived downstairs soon after, surprised at finding both Bonnie and Damon there, relaxing with a glass of bourbon each. Alcohol helped with the thirst, Damon had insisted, so Bonnie tried it. Their laughter at something stopped as soon as Elena came into sight, the air at once turning serious. It was time to explain the predicament to Bonnie's friend and Damon's lover.

And so they did. Bonnie can't remember having been that terrified in a long time, waiting for Elena's reaction. She expected distrust and caution, that had been how Bonnie had reacted to Caroline all that time ago, but Elena surprised her. The brunette girl threw herself into Bonnie's arms, hugging the young vampire fiercely, promising to help her all they could and apologising for not being there for her sooner.

"Are you staying with us?" Elena questioned once they again had settled own on the couch, Damon and Elena on one and Bonnie across from them on another.

"For a while." And that had been it about the control-problem. They had finally moved on to a different conversation all together and Bonnie was glad. She didn't want to talk about it.

Elena had wanted to know everything that had happened while she was gone, however long it had been, and so Bonnie told her. About the heretics and Mystic Falls being abandoned. About college. About Caroline and her new family. About everything. It made her realise that in the course of a few months, her whole life had gone to shit.

They talked about everything and nothing at the same time as day turned to night, and night turned to early morning. It wasn't until the sun shone in through the window that they realised how long they had actually been sitting there.

Elena yawned. "Maybe we should all get some sleep." she stated.

Bonnie nodded and stood. "Yeah, that might be a good idea." She headed for the stairs, feeling the familiar burn in her throat. It was weird, the feeling so close to having had enough blood that it should have satisfied her for a long time. Yet, she found herself aching to sink her teeth into flesh and drain someone. She shook her head. No. Control, control. That was what she was here for. Sh could manage to wait till she woke up. She had to. "Good night."

.*.*.*.*.*.

It was late morning when Elena walked down the stairs, a yawn escaping her lips yet again. Her feet felt heavy as she put one before the other, heading to the kitchen where she could smell the most heavenly smell of pancakes. A smile found its way across her face as she stopped in doorway of the kitchen, spotting a shirtless Damon with his back to her. He was humming as he flipped those delicious, round cakes.

She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his back, breathing in. He smelt nice. "Morning."

"Good morning," Damon replied as he turned, wrapping his arms around her waist and giving her a quick kiss. Not lingering, not deep, but a chaste morning kiss.

"Where's Bonnie?" she asked as she moved out of his grip, to his complaint, and settled at the kitchen island. She grabbed an apple as she waited, biting into it just as he replied.

"She went out hunting. Said she needed to 'keep in control' or something." Damon shrugged as he went back to the stove.

Elena froze. "She what?"

"Relax, she said she was fine. Besides, she had quite a bit to drink yesterday. I think she'll be fine." Elena could almost imagine him rolling his eyes at her.

"Damon," she said forcefully, glaring at him. "She lost control yesterday. I don't call that being fine. And you let her go out hunting alone?"

Sighing, he tuned towards her again. "Would you like me to go find her to prove to you that she's fine?" At Elena's insistent nod, he sighed again. "Fine. You finish up here, I'll go 'help' her." He was gone before she even had a chance to reply.

.*.*.*.*.*.

Her breathing came in short gasps, her eyes staring, wide open, at the blood on her trembling hands. Guilt and terror washed over her, drowning her, threatening to tear her apart. Her heart was beating like a three am thunderstorm. It felt like it would come right out of her chest at any moment.

In front of her, spread all across the forest ground, where bodies. Three of them. All young. All bloody. All dead. It looked like a werewolf had torn through them in a full moon stupor, unable to control their actions, only their wolf instincts to rely on.

But Bonnie was no werewolf and she had been conscious of her actions. She had just been unable to stop. She had been so hungry. Every thought had been focused on stopping the burning in her throat. But now, when her hunger had subsided, all that was left was remorse. Disbelief. Could she really have done something so terrible? And yet, there were no one else around. No one else to put the blame on. There was no doubt. No debate. She had killed them. Teenagers. She was a murderer.

Her eyes filled, the tears threatening to fall. She heaved for air, feeling like she was suffocating. She was shaking, every inch of her trembling, her legs threatening to give away under her. And then she fell to her knees, her hands grasping at the green grass, searching. For something. Anything.

In her haze, she hadn't heard him approach until he spoke. "Bonnie?" Unsure. Cautious. Even he didn't know how to approach her. Even he feared her now. Even he knew she was a killer. Unredeemable. She held back a sob, her hands still running along the ground. "Bonnie." His voice became stronger as he took carful steps towards her.

"I did this." Her strong voice surprised even her. "I killed them, Damon." She didn't dare look up at him. She didn't want to see the look he would give her. She knew what he would say He would try to convince her that it was okay. That being a new vampire wasn't easy. That accidents happen. That he would help her. He didn't.

"You're right, you did." There was no emotion in his voice. No pity, no disgust, no pride. Nothing. "You killed them. And I wasn't there to help you. To stop you. I'm sorry, Bonnie." At the last sentence, his voice softened and she could just imagine the guilt sweeping over his face. It didn't matter, it had happened and no words could turn back time.

Finally, her hands wrapped around the object she didn't know she was looking for until she held it in her hands. A piece of wood. A tool.

"I can't do this. I thought I could, but I'm not strong enough. I can't be a vampire. I can't laugh at death and be okay with it. It's not me." Her hand closed around the branch in a firm grip, lifting it up. She held it firmly, yet her hands shook, positioning it over her chest where her heart would be.

"Bonnie, no!" Damon rushed forward in an attempt to stop her. He came to a halt in front of her faster than she could react, looking down as she looked up. Staring into each others eyes. She held the stake, he held the stake. "I won't let you do this, Bon Bon." He was strong, and she didn't protest, as he carefully lowered her hand and the branch, his eyes never leaving hers. He hadn't called her by her nickname since before her transition.

His gaze, so reassuring and holding the promise of a thousand suns, calmed her enough to ease her breathing and stop her trembling. "I'll help you. I'll always help you."

"You can't save me from this. No one can."

Her mind was racing, working a mile a minute. She wanted to die. To rid herself of this terrible guilt. All she wanted was to feel in control. Yet, there was one other option. Something that could help her. She had reached her breaking point and there comes a time when something shakes you so badly that the only way to cope with it, is to learn to not care about it all.

Damon watched slowly as the light left her eyes, the muscles around tensing as a smirk formed on her lips.

Nothing could ever scare him more than the look in her eyes that night.