I Do Not Own CSI but this story is all mine
My heart is breaking. I think I can actually feel it shattering into a million pieces. This shouldn't be happening; we shouldn't be here today buying Warrick into the ground.
I feel like I can't catch my breath and I can barley stand up. I think the only reason I am standing is because Lindsay and my mom are here holding me up, trying there best to support me even when I know Lindsay is trying not to cry, trying to stay strong for me.
Listening to the priest I can here him recite words about Warrick's life. Telling everyone here about his accomplishments and how much he helped his community. Warrick did so much more then help his community. He was a friend, someone you could always talk too and lean on. Someone who would always have your back no matter what.
He was always there when I needed to talk, or vent about anything. He always seemed to know when I needed to talk and he would always be there to listen even if it was about Lindsay, Eddie or my latest fling. No matter what he would always be an ear that would listen and never judge.
Looking up I notice the people around me. I see Jim, and as tough as his exterior might be I know inside he wants to cry just like the rest of us. Next to him is Gil and Sara. Sara has tears running down her face and is holding onto Gil for dear life and all he can do right now is clutch her hand until his knuckle are white. Greg is looking at the ground trying to keep his own tears at bay. I wish he would just let them go and grieve. Nick, my heart is breaking for him, he lost his best friend, his brother and you can see the despair written all over his face.
Looking at my mom I finally give a sad smile and then turn my attention to Lindsay who was struggling not to cry. Turning toward her I put my hand under her chin and make her look at me.
"It's ok to cry honey, I'm here" and with that Lindsay's own tears spilled fourth. Pulling her close I hug her to my body feeling her own sobs wrack her soul.
I can hear the minister telling everyone that there's a small gathering across town
"Come on Linds let's go celebrate Warrick's life he wouldn't want us to shed as many tears as we have over him, he would want us to laugh and be happy" I said, pulling her and my mother towards the car
Twenty minutes later we walked into the small bar. There's no bouncer or anything at the door so Lindsay can just walk right in with us.
Seeking out the bar I can see that I'm not the first person there. Gil and Sara already have a drink in there hands standing close to one another. Nick and Greg are close by too. Greg seems to be babbling to Nick about some story involving Warrick and Nick looks a little zoned out
"Two dirty martini's please and an ice tea" I order passing the drink to Lindsay and my mother when they arrive
Placing my back against the bar I can faintly hear music in the background and I listen to the lyrics
I got my finger on the trigger
But I don't know who to trust
When I look into your eyes
There's just devils and dust
Who are we supposed to trust now? After everything that's happened in the past week or so, Warrick being arrested and framed for murder, proving his innocence and then to find him shot outside the diner. We, Gil, Nick Greg, Jim and I know that there's a mole in the building but who, it could be anyone, for all I know it's Ecklie even though I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have the balls to do kill Warrick.
Who am I supposed to trust?
We're a long, long way from home, Bobbie
Home's a long, long way from us
I feel a dirty wind blowing
Devils and dust
I got God on my side
I'm just trying to survive
What if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love
Fear's a powerful thing
It can turn your heart black you can trust
It'll take your God filled soul
And fill it with devils and dust
I didn't always believe in God. My faith over the years has wavered. I went a long time without believing that there was something else up there. Warrick changed all that for me. Said we all need to believe that there's a place we go to after we die and that there's a higher power helping us out when we need a hand.
But right now all I can think about is why God would let this happen. He's taken my heart and turned it black, I don't know who I can trust and listening to these lyrics I can only agree, my heart right now is filled with devil's and dust
Well I dreamed of you last night
In a field of blood and stone
The blood began to dry
The smell began to rise
Well I dreamed of you last night
In a field of mud and bone
Your blood began to dry
The smell began to rise
After we left the hospital I went home and almost collapsed into my bed. I cried myself to sleep, a very fitful sleep to.
Nightmares plagued me that night and have almost every night since then. I dreamed of us sitting in the diner and then all of the sudden you had a bullet hole in your neck and chest, bleeding all over the table and all I could do was watch as you dies, right in front of me. I've had that nightmare every night this week and all I can do now is hope that tonight won't be the same
We've got God on our side
We're just trying to survive
What if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love
Fear's a powerful thing
It'll turn your heart black you can trust
It'll take your God filled soul
Fill it with devils and dust
"Mom" I hear Lindsay say
"Yeah"
"Warrick will always be here" She says placing her hand on my heart
"I know"
Now every woman and every man
They want to take a righteous stand
Find the love that God wills
And the faith that He commands
Gil had called us into his office the day after Warrick died. I don't think I had ever seen him look as exhausted other then when Sara was taken.
'I'm making a promise to you now, together we will find whoever did this and when we do he will pay. This is my promise to you and I hope you can promise me the same thing back' All I could do was nod in response. I have never heard that much sorrow come from one's body and Gil was struggling to stay together.
We will find your murderer Warrick, I promise you that. However did this is going to face the wrath of not only us but everyone else whoever worked with you and got the pleasure of working by your side
I've got my finger on the trigger
And tonight faith just ain't enough
When I look inside my heart
There's just devils and dust
Looking towards the dance floor I watch Gil hold Sara close. I can see his shoulders slightly shake and I realize that Gil is finally grieving. All I can do is watch as Sara clutches him tighter, brushing his tears aside and kissing his face, trying to convey as much strength to him as she can
Well I've got God on my side
And I'm just trying to survive
What if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love
Fear's a dangerous thing
It can turn your heart black you can trust
It'll take your God filled soul
Fill it with devils and dust
Thinking back I realize that Warrick and I are almost like Gil and Sara. We pined around each other for years but there never seemed to be a right time for us. We never found the time to really take that next step into a relationship. Who would have ever thought that Gil and Sara would be the example for Warrick and me to follow?
I loved him, I think I loved him for years and I never really told him. I think that will be one of my biggest regrets. Not being able to tell him that I love him to his face.
It'll take your God filled soul
Fill it with devils and dust
"I'll always love you Warrick" I whisper to myself. Apparently that was a little louder then I intended because I can feel Lindsay's hand grip mine tight
Ok here's the third instalment to this story from Catherine's point of view. I know these chapter are a little agnsty but just stay with me.
Next chapter is going to be Greg so stay tuned.
Please be kind and leave a review
Katie