A/N: Hi, y'all. Sorry I haven't been posting lately but y'know High School is bollocks. Anyways, here's Chapter 3, tell me what you think!

A flash of blue light revealed John Hart materializing in the middle of the Hub. "Right. Hello, you lot." he said to the team. Jack instantaneously whipped out his revolver and held the barrel to John's forehead, hissing. "Where the hell is Ianto?" he demanded with hostility. Hart held his hands above his head as he heard the rapid clicks of the rest of the Torchwood team cocking their guns and doing as Jack did. "You really like that delicious little pastry, don't you? Don't worry, he's fine. Might be a little battered, that bloke looked big." he laughed. Jack pressed the gun between the Time Agent's eyes. "You left him? You left him in a fight with a bastard that's bigger than he is?"

"Oh, don't worry. I didn't leave him in a fight. Well, I've heard the terminology 'sword-fighting' used for the activity they're currently engaging in, but I dunno if you'd actually call that a fight."

"What the hell are you on about?" Jack spat, a hint of panic creeping into his voice. "Oh, I see. You don't want to share your toys with other kiddies, do you? Well, it really can't be helped. I would've helped him out if I could. Hell, we would've had a threesome! But I was in this bar, see, in the Crethane Peninsula, watching the whole damn thing."

"How?"

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed the video-camera contact lenses missing?"

"You bastard."

"I know, I know. I've had enough boyfriends and girlfriends and... I don't know what exactly to call them, but they're something along those lines. Pity I didn't even get the name of their species, but it never would've worked, really."

"I'm going to put a fucking bullet through your head right here and now, Hart!"

"Well isn't that unfortunate, because I'm his only ticket out. My Vortex Manipulator is fully functional, unlike your piece of shit. Oh, and don't give me that 'a Time Lord shorted it out with his sonic screwdriver' bullshit. Time Lords are extinct."

"No. There's one left."

"Fuck that."

"It's true. I've been with him."

"Who haven't you been with?"

"Not like that!"

"Jack, back on track." Gwen said, nudging him. He glanced back at her and nodded. "Right, yeah. Where's Ianto!"

"Sorry mate, that's confidential. See, he's my ticket to life."

"You get the hell out of here before I pull the trigger and bring him back."

John smiled and slapped his Vortex Manipulator, sending him into another bar on another planet, where he checked up on Ianto and the other guy, Mitch. How's everything going up?

How's everything going up? Ianto saw Hart's question flash in the corner of his eyesight just as Mitch was finishing up with him. He grimaced at the semen soaking into the bed and quickly pulled on his trousers, looking himself over in a mirror. Terrible, thanks. he mouthed so John could tell what he said using the lip-reading technology. It can't be that bad. He seems like an able-bodied fellow.

Able-bodied my ass.

It appears so.

"What're you prattlin' to yourself about?" Mitch called from the other side of the bed, where he was dressing himself. "Nothing. Can we please get down to business now?" he begged. Mitch smirked to himself. "Yeah, yeah, fine. Tell you what, you sure don't seem like it was your first time."

"Top floor." Ianto said, walking out of the bunker just ahead of the man. He felt Mitch's peircing gaze on his bum and walked faster, approaching the lift. "Well? You gonna answer me, sweetheart?" the big man said, cornering him in the lift. Ianto cleared his throat and tried to block out the smell of booze emanating from the man in waves. "No, actually."

Bad choice, Eye Candy.

"Shut up."

"What the hell did you say to me?"

"I said I'm not going to answer your question. Now if you'd kindly back the fuck off; you reek."

Mitch stumbled back, obviously not used to being talked to that way, and Ianto stared ahead, indifferent to his indignant growls. "Is that right? Well you've just jumped into a big pile of shit, sweetheart."

"Ianto. My name is Ianto, if your dull mind can manage it."

Best not push him any further. He looks about ready to pound you.

"Already did. Now if you don't shut your bloody face I'll cripple you."

Sounds good to me.

"Fuck off, you bastard." Ianto spat. Mitch looked at him in bewilderment, as Ianto had not taken the precautions of talking quietly anymore. "Tell you what, I'm glad we got the updated lenses. It would look odd talking into mirrors." Ianto sighed. Mitch's face turned purple and he clenched his meaty fists, taking a swing at Ianto, who aptly dodged and rammed his elbow into the small of the man's back, then gripped the lapels of his soiled uniform and slammed their heads together. Ianto remained fully-functional, but the blows he delivered to the burly man reduced him to a pile of sweat and stink heaped on the floor of the lift. When it arrived at the top floor, the suave man stepped over the unconscious and looked around the hallways that stretched out on either sides of him. "Where to now?"

Left corridor, second right.

Ianto followed the directions and entered the messy, dusty room that reeked of drink, drugs, sex, and rotting flesh. "What the hell happened in here?" Ianto said, pinching his nose closed. You really don't wanna know, but Jack might have an idea. John replied. Ianto rolled his eyes and combed through the mess, making sure to not touch anything suspicious. "What d'you need?"

The picnic blanket in the corner, the two guns on the mantel, the box labeled 'miscellaneous' - DON'T LOOK INSIDE - and the porcelain cat on the dresser.

"An odd assortment of items, innit?" Ianto inquired curiously as he gathered up the items requested. Ooh wait, also the little velvet box by the bed. John instructed. When Ianto had everything else in a large rubbish bag in his arms he stepped over the clothes, bottles, something that looked suspiciously like a human hand, and sex toys to get to the bedstand, from which he scooped up a little red velvet box that looked like it would regularly contain an engagement ring. He peered at it for a moment before slipping it into the rubbish bag and making his way out of the room. Ianto dumped the bag beside the lift and backtracked to the door directly next to John's; a door marked 'J. Harkness'. You don't wanna go in there.

"Don't I?"

No.

"It doesn't seem like you've got a choice in the matter, do you?"

Don't fucking go inside!

Ianto ignored his orders and pushed open the rotting wooden door to find a neatly organized room exactly the opposite of Hart's, although there were a few half-drunk bottles of booze laying about. The bed was made, the carpets vacuumed, everything was in pristine condition, except for the dresser, which was cluttered with cards and plates of long-since-rotted food. He pushed the rubbish aside and inspected a framed photograph of a younger-looking Jack and a younger-looking John, holding each other and smiling playfully. On the mirror there was an assortment of photographs of the two together. One was a photo taken when they were obviously drunk and Jack was bent down, pretending to suck Hart's cock. Most of the photos were similar to that one, but there were some with Jack and women, and Jack and aliens. One in particular sparked Ianto's interest. He pulled the picture off of the mirror and smiled softly. It showed Jack dancing with a young, blonde woman in a Union Jack t-shirt. They were both laughing. This was the happiest Ianto had ever seen Jack. He plucked off another picture that had been next to the one with the blonde, where Jack was dancing with a middle-aged man dressed in a leather Jacket and a purple shirt. Another photo was removed, this one showing Jack laughing with a tall, young man in a brown pinstripe suit, whose hair was lush and sticking up all over the place. All three pictures showed Jack in complete bliss, happier than he knew Jack could be. He slipped the photographs into his suit pocket and jogged out to the lift, hauling the bag that Hart had requested onto his back and clicking the button for the lower floor. Mitch was still sprawled out on the floor, just waking, but with a swift kick to his temple he was immediately reduced unconscious again. "Who were those people? The two men and the girl."

I don't know.

"What d'you mean you 'don't know'?"

I have no idea who they are. All I know is that he's never been that happy with me.

"Same here. I'm gonna ask him."

Don't.

"Why's that, then?"

He's touchy about them. Very.

"He'll tell me."

Like he tells you everything.

"I know he doesn't tell me anything, but I'll badger him until he relents."

That's a surprisingly good idea, Eye Candy.

"Ianto. My name is Ianto."

Yes, I know that.

"So stop calling me Eye Candy."

Tough.

He was outside the building by now, and looking around fervently for Hart. "Where the hell are you?"

Yeah, sorry, just had something cum up.

"Now's not the time for jokes, Hart. Get me out. Now."

What, with my trousers down?

"Well fucking get them on and get over here!"

Pushy, pushy. Hart replied. Suddenly he appeared before Ianto, bathed in baby blue light and grinning. "Eye Candy! So glad you're okay. Popped by the Hub and Jack seems a little on-edge." he said mockingly. Ianto growled and traveled with Hart through the Vortex, arriving at the Hub in a matter of seconds. Jack immediately picked Ianto up in his burly arms and nearly squeezed the life out of him, joined by the rest of the Torchwood team. "Guys..." he squeaked. They immediately released him and he brushed himself off, straightening his wrinkled suit. "It's not like I was gone for long." Ianto laughed. Jack cuffed himover the head. "You were gone for three months!" he shouted, his voice trembling with emotion. Ianto simply stood there looking shocked and pissed off as Owen and Gwen pressed the barrels of their guns to John Hart's forehead. "What've you done with him, you bastard?" Gwen demanded. John winced mockingly. "Oh that's rude, isn't it? We really must work on your pottymouth." he said flirtatiously, raising an eyebrow. Gwen socked the irritating man on the jaw, sending him toppling to the floor. Owen restrained her from beating him to a bloody pulp as Ianto advanced on him, fuming. "What the hell? Three months, Hart! I've been there three months?" he demanded. Hart wiped the blood from his split lip off of his chin and propped himself on an elbow, looking up at Ianto and the red-faced Jack Harkness, who whipped out his gun. "If you don't answer in three seconds I'm pulling the trigger!" he shouted. To his surprise, Ianto gently pried the gun from his hands and tossed it to the floor behind them. "Don't kill him! If you kill him, it automatically sets off the nuclear bombs."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"His Vortex Manipulator keeps track of his vitals. If he dies, it automatically triggers the bombs."

"Is this true?" Jack turned on John Hart. The man grimaced and nodded. "Yep. Kill me, the planet goes bye-bye." he informed everyone. Owen was breathing heavily and looked as if he was about to throttle the man, but a gentle touch from Tosh somehow calmed him. "Oh, and the pretty Japanese girl! It's been ages since I've seen you, hasn't it sweetheart?"

"Piss off, Hart!"

"That wasn't what you said the first time we met."

"I - I didn't say anything like what you're thinking!"

"But you were thinking it. I'm good at reading minds." John winked to Toshiko's disgust. "Disable the bomb system, Hart!" Jack hissed, bringing them back on topic. He laughed. "Oh, it's not gonna be that easy to get me defenseless. Right now I'm in a room surrounded by trigger-happy kiddos that wanna kill me; I won't be so quick to disable my only guarantee of getting out of here alive. Also, I brought you some things." Hart struggled to his feet and snatched the bag of things from his room from Ianto, opening it and peering inside before glaring at the other members of the team. "Can I get a moment alone with ol' Cap here?" he commanded. At Jack's nod, they all filed out through the door and John pulled out the dusty picnic blanket and tossed it to Jack. "D'you remember our first date? With the moons in the sky and the warm glow of the sea. Jack, it was so beautiful. If I recall correctly, that was our first shag." he reminisced. Jack stared at the cloth for a while before Hart tugged out the porcelain cat. "And this was the first gift you ever gave me." He passed the gift to Jack, who stroked the cat absentmindedly. "Is this trip down memory lane going somewhere?" he demanded, trying to sound impatient. Hart smirked and took out the small box labeled 'miscellaneous', grinning wickedly. "D'you recall this little box? The little box labeled 'miscellaneous'. Oh, the fun we had with the contents inside this box." he said. Jack stepped forward and snatched the box out of his ex's hands, ripping it open and laughing at the things inside. He pulled out a black leather thong and examined it. "Is this the - ?"

"Yep."

He pulled out a various number of other sex toys, chuckling at each one. "You're kidding me. You saved this?"

"I'm more sentimental than you thought."

"I'll admit you've taken me by surprise."

John laughed and then pulled out one of the last items in the bag; a small, red velvet box. Jack looked at the box with unceartainty and suspicion as Hart stroked it and then tossed it to him. He nodded at Jack, who then opened the box to reveal an engagement ring buried cozily inside and gasped. "When..."

"I bought it a few weeks before you left."

"And you were gonna..."

"On our five-year anniversary. When you slipped away..."

"I - I had no idea. I really didn't, John."

"Ianto... he went into your old room. On your mirror, he found pictures... of a girl and two men. Who were they?"

"No one."

"They sure as hell were someone, Jack. I've never seen you like that."

"Old friends. I haven't seen them in what seems like forever."

"Who?"

"Rose and the Doctor."

"And what happened to them?"

"Did Ianto take those pictures?"

"Yeah. Jack, what happened to Rose and the Doctor?"

"I'll have to go get them, I suppose." Jack sighed, ignoring his ex's question. He turned away and started shuffling to the door but Hart grabbed his shoulder, whirling him around impatiently. "What happened to them, Jack?" he interrogated. His ex only stared at him with big, sad blue eyes before he broke away. "I'm going to go get lunch with everyone else. D'you wanna come?" he asked, a bit shyly. Hart smirked. "They all wanna kill me."

"They won't."

A/N: There's Chapter 3! I hope you all enjoyed, and thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following! You've no idea how great that is for me, so thank you all so much! Per usual, I would love it if you posted questions, comments, or constructive criticism on my reviews because I love receiving that sorta stuff! Ai'ight, I wuv you guys, and I'll post more as soon as I can!