It's been two days since her death and my mind told me that I should be sad; that I should be grieving for my dead mother, because wasn't that the normal thing to do? That would be a sane person's reaction. But then again, I wasn't normal. I never have been and never will be.

My mom made sure of that when she drunkenly cursed me for being such a disgrace; such an embarrassment. I wasn't good at sports and I didn't have any friends. She constantly told me how she wished she had been given a pretty daughter; not a plain Jane like me. She said I was too pale and frail. Nobody would ever love me and the thing is, she's right. I'm a lost cause.

Now, I was on my dad's private plane leaving, sunny Phoenix, Arizona and heading to Forks, Washington. I couldn't forget the constant sound of my mother's berating or the smell of Brandy on her breathe. I had hoped that once she died, all the memories would go away with her, but here they were haunting my mind. I never told anyone about this because to be honest, no one would even care.

That's why my dad never came; he didn't care about me. My brother didn't care about me. They would laugh in my face if I told them what went on in my mind. They would think I am a freak just like everybody else. I know the only reason I'm on this plane right now is because there are no other options for me. I don't have any other family that's alive, so my dad unwillingly took custody of me.

I hadn't had much to say to him after that melt down. I had packed a small backpack for the plane and that was it. Charlie was a quiet man much like myself and had offered help there and there but didn't say much else.

Now, we were getting closer and closer to landing. I dug my fingernails into my legs, trying to prevent the tears from returning. My father read the newspaper and I could see his eyes flash to my face every few seconds. He was trying to be discreet but it wasn't working.

It was obvious that he had no clue how to raise a teenage girl. Especially one as messed up as me. I know this won't be easy for the both of us. I wonder how long it will take for him to kick me out.

I bit down on my lip, drawing blood, and gripped onto the armrests. I fidget nervously in my seat, trying to not to appear anxious. My dad lived in the middle of nowhere. It was about as small as a town could get. Everyone knew everyone and I was obviously going to be the talk of town. If you couldn't tell, I'm not excited. My motto was "the less attention the better."

I didn't understand why a man as rich as my father chose to live in some poor tiny town, when he could buy a penthouse in Seattle. It would be easier for all of us but he choose to complicate things.

I brushed loose strands of hair out of my face and let out a rather loud sigh. My father looked up and quietly chuckled. He asked "Are you alright there, Bells?"

I duck my head and a deep blush spreads across my cheeks. "I'm fine," I mumble. I pick at the lint attached to my pants, looking anywhere but at him.

"It's alright to be nervous. I would be too," he says. "It must be hard moving to a new place, after losing your mother."

I internally scoff. He knew nothing about me.

"On the bright side, your brother is excited to see you. He's really missed you."

My wide doe like eyes stare at him in shock, "Em-Emmett wants to see me?" I stammer.

"Of course!" Charlie exclaims. "He wishes he could have come with me, but I thought it would have been too much for you."

I'm speechless. I don't know whether to believe him or not. Why would anyone want to see me? Nobody wants to see me.

I can't think about this right now. It's too much. All I can do is count the number of minutes until we land.

We finally arrived. I grabbed my bag and followed my dad off the plane. The airport was quiet with barely any people. I look out the windows and all I see is rain and grey sky.

I drag my feet, following my father through the desolate hallways. It doesn't take long to reach the exit where there's a black Mercedes waiting outside the door with a man standing outside. He's short with graying hair and a scruffy beard but has a kind smile.

He and my dad exchange pleasantries and I stand to the side, doing my best to keep out of their way. They're obvious friendship and trust in each other doesn't settle well with me. I've never had much interaction with other people in a positive manner.

I count the cracks in the sidewalk until I hear my name be called. My head shoots up and I stare at the two men. I instinctively hug myself tighter and hold my breathe.

"This is Wayne, our driver and my oldest buddy."

I give a timid smile and quickly look down at my shoes. "Hi," I whisper. I will him to stay where he is, but I see his feet moving forwards. I suck in a breathe as his hand touches my shoulder and without thinking, I flinch away from the display of affection.

My heartbeat increases and I feel myself start to clam up. "Ple- please, don't tou- tou- touch me." I stutter as I wearily stare at the stranger.

I hated affection. I hated touching. It was a mistake to hug my father earlier. He's going to think he can do anything to me. It's what all men think.

"Bells?" a concerned voice asks. There's tears in my dad's eyes. Both of them are speechless. The rain continues to pour which drowns out the silence.

"Canwejustgoplease?" I mumble. I want to get out of here. I want to get away from this strange man who touched me. I just want to leave.

"Ye- yeah, of course," my dad gathers his composure and we hop in the car.

Charlie, (thankfully) sits in the passenger seat, leaving me alone in the back. I don't think I've taken a breathe since we left the airport, and I don't think I'm going to release it anytime soon. My dad and the driver are quietly chatting and I have no doubt it's about me.

It doesn't take long until I see the sign, Welcome to Forks, Washington. I feel something settle to the bottom of my stomach and I nervously look out the window. Everything is green. The grass, the trees, the houses. I don't think I've ever hated the color green so much in my life before. We drive through the empty town, seeing shops and restaurants. I would have thought it would be more lively, seeing that it was a Friday night but there was literally no one outside. I sigh in annoyance.

The clock says it's 6:00 pm and I'm starving. I've gone long periods without food and the last few days have been a treat. But I can't start getting greedy. It would make me look even worse. I don't want Charlie and my brother to think I'm needy. I clench my stomach, trying to muffle the noise but it does little to nothing.

My dad turns around, "Are you hungry?"

My stomach growls in response.

"I'm fine," I say just above a whisper.

Charlie raises his eyebrows, not convinced.

"It won't be long until we're home," he says.

I nod my head.

"We'll order pizza when we get home," he says. "What's your favorite kind?"

I shrug my shoulders. "I've never had pizza before."

My cheeks flushed in embarrassment and I can see the disbelief on his face.

"Well there's a first time for everything," is all he says.

True to his word, we arrived home in less than 10 minutes. It had been silent the rest of the ride. Charlie, seemed to uncomfortable to say anything else and it was all my fault.

I always messed everything up.

Charlie and I entered the house only to hear the tv playing from the other room. I followed my dad's lead and took my shoes off at the front of the door, neatly putting them to the side. He carried my bag over his shoulder and I followed him into the kitchen. He placed it on the old wooden chair and sat down with a big sigh.

I stood in the middle of the kitchen, unsure what to do.

Suddenly, I noticed the granite counter tops and state of the art kitchen appliances. This was every cooke's dream kitchen. I couldn't stop my hands from running over the smoothe counters. No more washing dishes by hand or crappy toasters that burn out every five seconds. I could actually get some work done.

I'm suddenly pulled out of my daydream by the sound of Charlie's voice. I whirled around to face him. My shoulders hunch and I stare at his feet.

"So, I have to go out to get the pizza and it appears your brother, won't be home till later," he says annoyed, "Do you want to come with me?"

I don't know how to respond. I open my mouth to speak and nothing but air comes out. I open and close my mouth like a fish. I looked pathetic right now.

"It's fine," my dad rushes to say, seeing my hesitation.

"You can stay here. It won't take longer than 30 minutes," he responds in a gruff voice.

I eagerly nod my head.

"You can look around the house and find your room if you'd like; it's the second door on the right. Also, help yourself to anything in the fridge."

I nod my head.

Charlie gets his jacket and slips on his shoes. "If you need anything just give me a call. I'll come straight home."

I nod my head again.

It looks like he wants to say something else but turns away. He walks through the open door, leaving me in silence.

I finally release my breathe.

I venture up the stairs, carrying my heavy bag, making sure not to disturb anything. I follow his directions and come to the door that has a sign hanging with the name, Bella on it. I assume it's mine so I tentatively open the door.

I'm suddenly met by the smell of lavender floating throughout the room. The walls are painted purple and there's a big queen sized bed with white and grey sheets and blankets. A white vanity is pushed against the wall with a large mirror. To the left was a desk with a lamp and a brand new Macbook. I ran my fingers over everything and stared intensely at the computer. Is this all for me? Or is it just some sick joke?

Tears form in my eyes at the sight of the room. My room. It's five times the size of my old one. I've never had the privilege of having such luxurious. Outside the window was the humongous backyard that lead to a forest and a small bookshelf in the corner of the room. A small smile lit upon my face and I let myself cry tears of joy.

I was so preoccupied that I didn't even hear the door open downstairs. I didn't hear the loud footsteps stomp up the stairs and the sound of breathing at my bedroom door. I didn't hear it open and realize a person was standing behind me.

"Who the fuck are you and why are you in my house?"

I literally jump in the air and drop the book that was in my hand. I whipped around to be met by a boy, or wait, rather a large muscular man, standing at the doorway with a hostile expression. I stared at his ripped arms in utter terror. He had a babyish kind of with blue eyes and curly brown hair.

I took a tentative step back and gripped onto the window sill. My entire body was shaking and I could barely get a word out, "I-I'm Be-be-bella Sw-swan."

I swallow the gulp in my throat and watch his every move. As soon as I speak, his dangerous expression turns to shock and then empathy.

He takes a step towards me and I take a step back, pushing myself into the wall.

"It's me, Emmett," he whispers, "you're brother."

My mouth goes dry. This big burly man is my brother? He looks so old. So mature. Nothing like the ten year old, I remember him being.

"I can't believe it's really you," he says. His eyes scan over me and I see them lit with worry. He's stopped walking and looks like he wants to come closer, but decides against it.

"I'm sorry, Bella." he says, "I didn't think you were coming until later."

I shrug. I nervously, suck on my lip, drawing blood. I didn't know how to respond.

"You're different," he points out. The silence was deafening.

I shrug again. He is also different.

"I'm sorry about mom."

Don't bring that woman up.

"I've missed you. Dad looked for you but we could never find you."

I can hear the pain in his voice. I could see it in his eyes. But I still couldn't speak. I still couldn't move.

"Did I do something to offend you?"

I immediately shake my head. I couldn't let him think that.

He sighs in relief.

"Can I give you a hug?" he hesitantly asks. I can see the hope on his face.

I shake my head, "I-I'm so-sorry."

My lips tremble as hot tears pour down my cheeks.

"Do you want to be alone?" He whispers.

I anxiously nod my head.

Please leave me alone. Please.