One month later

I was proud of myself, I had avoided running into a man for a month, I knew he was around, coming and going in between Tacoma and Charming; everyone liked to tell me when he was back in town and it seemed to be every few weeks. But the inevitable was bound to happen, a death pushed us all together, it always did.

Donna had been gunned down, and samcro and everyone involved in their small knit circle of family was now standing around a hole dug for the mother on the hottest day in the summer. Opie stood strong and tall in front of me, even though you could feel his heart breaking. His kids were sitting in chairs beside him, quiet sobs leaking from them every few minutes kept most of us weepy eyed. Vic was standing on one side of me, trying to keep from crying, she always had some sort of argument going on with Donna, claiming she was stuck up and was trying to change Opie, but she was one of the people taking her death the worst. A warm breeze blew the bottom of my dress causing it to tickle the back of my thigh as I kept my face forward staring at the back of Opie's neck. I couldn't look to the left, a pair of Black eyes were burning a hole in my cheek and I couldn't look to the right her headstone was glistening in the sunlight almost teasing me. A funeral hadn't effected me since they put her in the ground, alone; neither of her parents had been there for her, I was on a bender two towns over and Happy was already up in Tacoma, requesting a transfer out of Charming. Now both of us were standing here, not even a mile from where she laid under the ground, standing in the same crowd of people at Donna's funeral.

"What is he doing?" Vic hissed over at me as Jax walked closer looking like he had slept under a bridge last night and I watched Tara walk up to him holding his cut. Happy wasn't the only person who had blown back into town, Tara had been back for less than a month and her and Jax had already stuck to each other like a magnet. I quickly looked two spots over to where Wendy was holding Abel, watching Jax and Tara in the distance.

"Drama even at a funeral," Vic muttered again, as Tara walked back towards the service and Jax took off in the direction of the headstones. Tara caught my attention and nodded her head in the direction of the retreating blonde and I gave her a confused look and she did it again.

"shit," I hissed before taking off towards Jax, feeling more than Happy's eyes following me.

"What are you doing?" I asked Jax when I caught up to him, he was sitting on JT's head stone, smoking a cigarette. He slid over and made room for me beside him, in front of us was my Dad's head stone, a reaper pin stuck into the hard marble.

"Talking to the smartest guys we know,"

"They must not be very smart, they're dead," I tried to keep it light hearted but it was hard given the place we were sitting talking.

"I thought I was going to lose Abel," he began looking over at me, "When that happened to you, I didn't get it, you didn't know her," he pushed back his hair with both hands, "But now I know that it didn't matter if you knew her for thirty seconds, it was unconditional love," I had never heard Jax speak this way in my whole life, he had never talked about her when it happened, he held me while I cried, he drank with me when I drank, but he never said anything.

"I knew her for 7 months," I choked trying to keep myself together, "But I'll love her for the rest of my life," he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I rested my head against him. "What happens now?" I asked looking up at him.

"We find who killed Donna," he said truthfully. "We've got to be there for Opie," I nodded my head agreeing with him. The three of us had always been close, I was my father's only child but somehow I was born with two older brothers that would of killed anyone for me.

"Where does Happy fall into this?" I didn't know why I asked I knew the answer, Happy would do what he wanted to and what the club asked.

"I stopped him from killing a 17 year old yesterday," he stopped like he was questioning giving me that kind of information before he shook his head and continued on,"He's gone Nomad, going to be around a lot more," my heart sunk but I didn't get the chance to say anything else as Piney wheezed up beside us, handing Jax a leather bound stack of papers.

"It's time for a change," he didn't say anything else just came walking away.

"What was that about?" I asked him watching the old man leave.

"I've got something I want you to read," he handed the papers over to me, "Our little secret," he kept his hands on the papers while I held them, I quickly slipped it into my bag as people started leaving the service.

Jax hopped down off the gravestone, pulling my hand up and kissing it. "I love you," he didn't look happy as he said it before walking off towards his bike.

People said goodbye to me as they walked passed where I was still sitting on the stone, staring at my father's grave. He was one of the founding members who had died on the wrong side of a bullet when I was 17, leaving me vengeful and more than angry, I had already been motherless, she had died of an overdose before I could walk. That had been part of the reason why I was drawn to Happy all those years ago, he was just as angry as I was, he didn't look at me crazy when my ass bounced off the wall; for months I drank until I would pass out and he would always be the one up watching me, keeping an eye on me but never telling me to stop, never asking what I was doing.

After the crowd died down I looked towards the parking lot to see one bike remaining and nerves started running through my veins, what was he doing here? I turned back towards Donna's new grave and he wasn't there either, I continued searching for him and couldn't help the emotion that flew out of my body when I saw where he was standing, his mouth opening like he was speaking to someone but he was alone. I moved in auto pilot my brain screaming at my body to stop moving but it wouldn't, it was like a ticking time bomb that wouldn't stop until I was there, in front of him. I was a few feet behind him when I finally stopped moving.

"What are you doing here?" my word vomit started and he turned towards me, that muscle in his cheek grinding while he listened to my words, as I snapped at him.

"Visiting my daughter," he growled at him, his hands clenching at his sides, forming fists before he released them again.

"A little too late don't you think?" I shouldn't be doing this, using her against him. I was never that kind of girl, I shouldn't care what he does at all, but I always found myself wondering where he was and what he was doing even after 3 years.

"You don't know shit," he moved closer towards me, his face squinting together in anger. Goosebumps formed on my skin and I would like to think it was the wind moving my dress but I knew it was how he moved, like a lion stalking his prey.

"Hap," I warned him I didn't back up knowing that was what he wanted me to do, "Why are you here? Why did you come back?"

"Because this is where I belong," he turned his head to look at her stone quickly before back at me. "Charming is my home," it was one of the first times I had seen him sentimental about anything. Something caught my eyes behind him and I finally moved going past him and towards the headstone. A few flowers were there, some of them close to passing and some new ones, ones I hadn't put there.

"You've been coming here?" I knew it had to be him, no one came out to visit her anymore, no one but me.

"She was mine too," he came up beside me, kissing two of his fingers and pressing it against the dark marble. "Don't forget that," he warned before leaving. I didn't watch what direction he went in but I heard a bike rev up and leave before I dropped down to my knees to fix the flowers he apparently had been leaving.

"Sorry baby girl," I muttered, I used to think I was crazy for talking to her but now I found it almost calming. "It might be three years too late, and we might have been fighting but at least both of us were here," I read the words that were carved like I always did.

Harper Katie Lowman

March 7th 2011

She had a matching SAMCRO pin stuck in out of respect for Happy, I didn't find that out until long after it was already done, mostly because I didn't come out to see her until weeks after she was buried.

"I don't know what to do Harper, he's back after all these years, and the anger I had for him, that part of me I was sure had left came right back, I want to hurt him like he hurt me," I picked up the dead flowers moving them out of the way to arrange the new ones, "But I don't think either of us win in this situation," I touched the headstone that was heating up in the sunlight, burning the soft skin on the inside of my hand. "Give Grandpa a kiss for me," I couldn't help the tears running down my face as I stood back up looking at the flowers her father had left for her.

"I love you more than anything else," I said to the air before turning and leaving.

I don't own anything SAMCRO

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Also there is a URL to the Polyvore i have been making for this story in my Profile. I usually like to look at them when i read stories so i thought I'd make one too!