The doctrine of love

Chapter 2

'Oh, Ume-chan, it has certainly been a while. But you don't remember me, do you?'

I tried hard to remember his face, associating it with his name. But I couldn't. Everyone was looking at me and that made me feel really uncomfortable. I seemed arrogant and stupid. Well, I was arrogant. I took a deep breathe, even though I hoped that no one would notice my gesture.

'Well, I don't remember everyone, you know.' I said in a full-of-myself voice. He smiled; but it wasn't a gentle smile at all. For I don't know what reason, that made me kind of sad.

'Well, is ok, you know. I mean, if you don't remember me.'

I thought he would continue and he would illuminate me, but he did not say anything anymore and I was too proud to ask him anything. But I will confess to myself, I was curious who he was.

There was a big silence between us. Uchida Rei was looking at me in some disappointed way that made me feel awkward, while everyone else seemed to look anywhere else but not at us. Kazehaya broke the silence.

'Anyway! We are heading to the karaoke right now, would you mind to join us? I mean, it's been a real while and you should cope up with everything you've missed!'

I knew when I was not needed, so while they were talking, I just took my chance through the door. I had this inquietude in my heart; who was the guy, anyway? I would look the photo album from middle school; maybe I'll found out who was he… why was I so interested in this and why the heck did I mind that look of his? I did felt bad when he looked so disappointed at me. I just hate it!

'Oh, that is a sure thing. I would love to go to the karaoke! Ume-chan, won't you join us?'

I heard his voice right when I was at the door, trying to go away.

That was the time I realized he called me "Ume". What the fuck? Nobody calls me like that and I totally hate this fucking name! What was he thinking, calling me like that? Imbecile! He was a real imbecile. Now he was looking with that soft expression at me, it was like he was trying to make me forgive him for something he did not do.

I just hated him!
Well, you sure hate a lot of things lately, Kurumi, I heard a voice inside me.

'Don't want to. I'm not friends with any of you and I won't lose my time. Goodbye!'

I walked away, closing the door. I said these words without looking at any of them. They were not worthy of my attention, anyway. So why was I feeling so empty inside? I mean, yes, of course I didn't care about them going at the karaoke while I was heading home to do nothing… no, no! It was not that, it was just that I couldn't stay around Kazehaya and Sawako. How much should I endure? I'm not made of stone, my heart can cry as well and I have feelings!

But how are people supposed to treat you when you behave like a bitch around them?

I sure hated this voice inside me!

Walking through the corridor all alone is not a feeling I like to experience. I did not feel this loneliness until now. I sure did not… How could be Sawako all alone, all the time, before she met these friends of hers and Kazehaya? I could not bare the feeling of being of no one. Not having friends it makes me sad. But I was a fake girl until now, anyway! And they loved the sweet Kurumi. Now, they are disgusted by the new-and-true Kurumi. They don't want me around… I have to understand them. And they were just a bunch of stupid buck-up guys anyway. But why do I miss them?

Because you are all alone, of course.

I sighed, again. I had to make new friends, for sure. But who the fuck would want to hang out with a wrecked girl like me? Should I be false again? Well, I doubt I could. I felt good being myself…

'Ume-chaaaaaan! Wait for me!'

This voice again… Why the heck is he persuading me?

I stopped for a reason that even I do not understand. I looked at Uchida Rei's eyes. He was right in front of me. He was still smiling while I was analyzing him. Those eyes… Where have I seen them? Somewhere, in the past… I should really remember.

Then, it hit me. I wanted to be friends with this guy for a reason I didn't know.
Remember.

I frowned trying to recall something. Uchida Rei laughed.

He had a nice laugh, sure he did…

'What?' I yelled.

He smiled, again.

'Well, you certainly look cute while frowning, you know!'

That took me by surprise. I turned my face, blushing. My heart skip a beat. Why did he look so damn nice at me?

'I… don't be an idiot!'

What a stupid answer to give.

'I see you didn't change at all! I'm glad… you know. I was scared you will change. I didn't remember you yesterday, when we met. Well, I though I saw you somewhere but I couldn't recall the time and place. But after you walked away, I realized who you were. But I was afraid to call your name. And I was right. You wouldn't know who I was; you would've thought I was a stalker, right?'

He had such a nice voice that I didn't mind hearing all the crap he was saying. I don't even know what expression I had when I talked to him.

'Eh? How am I supposed to remember you? It's not like I have a memory book in my head, I can't recall everything from my past. And maybe you were not too important to me, or something. I don't remember your name and I'm quite sure I didn't meet any "Uchida Rei" in my life.'

It sounded a bit too harsh, I realized, because I had a loud voice while saying this, but he didn't care. It was like he was used to this.

'Will you go to a drink with me, or something?'

What? He was asking me out? Wasn't he saying he was afraid he will seem a stalker? Well, what should I do? He looks like someone I could trust. I was not afraid of being with him. I hadn't had anything better to do at home, either.

And he certainly looked so damn cute. Maybe I should try to be friends with him!

'Hmm. You are so arrogant, you think you can just come here and ask me out for a drink? Who do you thing you are?

Well, I can't give a sweet answer, I suppose. I should've just said "Yes".

He laughed.

'Ok, let's get going. I'll treat you.'

He saw right through me. I started mumbling something, but he walked away and I walked after him. I could see his back. He sure was tall… and he had a nice back. And he certainly was sexy. And I really liked him, although I couldn't remember him. How could everyone forget such a piece of a good looking guy?

Maybe he was ugly back then.

Or maybe I had eyes only for Kazehaya so I didn't notice him.

We went to some cafeteria and took a table. We were face-to-face. He still had that dumb smile on his face.

'Why are you smiling?' I had to ask him.

'Because I'm happy.' He answered, lightly. That came as a surprise for me.

I laughed.

'That's a good reason.'

I ordered some juice and he made the same choice as me, then he looked me in the eyes.

'So you don't remember me.'

'I don't.'

Well, this sure was some interesting conversation. We could really talk. I could see that I was really casual around him. He was an easy person to talk to.

Or so I guess.

'Want me to help you out or you'll just go home and look up the photo album searching for the "Uchida Rei" name, something that you won't found and you will keep looking for some guy pretty handsome, but you won't find that either!'

His voice was really light.

I was surprised he knew about my plan to look up the photo album. And what was he talking about? Was he not in the photo album? I didn't really understand what he meant so I looked blindly at him.

'Well… I should explain it properly, right?'

I said "Yes" with a very sarcastic voice. I had such a bad temper.

But it seemed like he didn't care about that. Maybe that's why I liked to be around him, because, apparently, he understands me and he really likes talking to me. It just appears so… maybe I am wrong.

The cafeteria was nice; there weren't too many people, but it was a nice atmosphere. It gave us a warm vibe and I liked it. And the color that covered the walls was a pretty warm one as well. All this place made me feel a little too happy and light and I become aware of the fact that I really enjoyed being with him… with this strange guy I didn't even know.

'Let's see! Hmmm, how should I start this?'

'Try with the beginning, it should work.' I smiled sarcastically.

'Well, I was born…'

'A little further, if you please.' I laughed, making him laugh as well.

There was a good vibe between us. Why so? I don't know. Maybe we were made to be friends. Or maybe not.

'Hmm, well, so the most part of middle school I was around the school you guys went, and we kind of were in the same class all the time. And you kind of knew me very well too because we would do our homework together all the time. And I was the only one you'd shown your real personality; even though I see that you're very honest nowadays – he looked in a sweet way at me, blushing – I confess I'm a bit jealous of this, because I wanted to be the only one who knew the bad tempered Ume… but, anyways!...'

What was this all about? I understand that we knew each other… homework? With whom did I do my homework when I was little?

There was a guy, a neighbour of mine, I remembered… But his name was not Uchida. I know I was calling him Taka-chan all the time. He was a little brat, as tall as I was and he was wearing glasses, his hair was not black at all, it was rather brown and he was hobble and huffy. He wasn't, certainly, as self-righteously as this guy. Neither was he so cheerful to himself and arrogant. And we really went to the same school, even though I pretended not to know him in the class, he would accept me…

No, it couldn't be this Uchida Rei, because the guy I remember was a guy named Taka.

'Hahaha! It's so funny to see you trying to remember things! You don't recall me at all, do you?' he laughed and I sighed.

'Moron.'

'Yeap, you always called me like that, didn't you? But you sure liked me a lot! And I… - he blushed – anyway! When I moved, you cried and screamed a lot, saying that I'm leaving you in the worst moment of your life, although you never told me what has happening! I went to your old house, looking for you – because I don't live where I used to. The neighbours told me you moved out after a year or so after I left; that made me pretty sad. No one knew anything about you. I can't describe the emptiness of my heart, when I realized I couldn't found you… I was afraid I won't see you ever again.'

He took a pause, looking at me. I was too shocked to say anything. I was just listening to what he was saying. It was the only thing I could do.

'So, well, when we were kids, we were best friends, although in school it was like you didn't even know me. But I did not care, because I knew that was you. You know why I moved? Because my parents got a divorce. I moved with my father, for a while, then my mother took me away… because of my father's death – I could read no emotion in his voice – and I took the name of my mother, Uchida. Now, you probably remember me as Takahiro Rei, or else… Taka-chan.'

Flashback

I was in the park, in a swing. I was really sad because of something I don't remember. It was a childish reason, howsoever. A boy approached me. I remember thinking I've seen him in the neighbourhood; it was the holiday before starting middle school.

'Hi!' He said, simply, taking a place in the other swing.

'Hi!' I answered.

He was also sad and that kept my attention.

'Why are you sad?' I asked, in a low voice.

'My cat died. I loved my cat…'

I don't remember what I answered to the question "what happened to you?" but we got along in a second. He took my hand.

'I'm Takahiro Rei. I live nearby. Do you want to be friends?'

I was a little uncomfortable regarding new relationships. But with Rei was different. I took his hand with a big smile'.

'My name is Kurumizawa Ume, but everyone calls me Kurumi-chan! You can come to my place, I have a cat and we can play with it…'

He smiled happily.

'Ok, Ume-chan! If everyone calls you Kurumi, I will call you Ume! Because I like this name better; it's sweet, just like you!'

I smiled; I didn't dislike this name at that time.

'Ok! Then how does everyone call you?'

'Rei or Takahiro, why?'

' Then I'm going to call you Taka-chan! So that I will be the only one calling you by that name. We are going to be best and special friends from now on, ok?

'Ok.'

It was a uncustom meeting. We were both naïve at that time. We only found out the next day that we were neighbours and we started visiting each other and doing our homework together. When at home, we were always together.

By that time, he was an ugly boy. He had big glasses covering his beautiful eyes and his hair was a mess. He had braces as well. But he was so sweet, that I would always go to him; whenever I was sad or happy. He knew everything about me, and I knew everything about him, back then.

We were best friends.'

End of flashback.

How could I forget about Taka-chan? Is that even possible? How much have I loved and cheered for him! How could I possibly forgive his encouraging smile, his encouraging words… and the love he always showed to me?

He left because of the divorce of his family; he had a divorce as well… we were alike; I could still feel good around him. I discovered why I felt so well around him, it was because we were so long ago friends. I still had this wonderful feeling of friendship for him.

While talking, we went out of the cafeteria. We were on the street now, and I've stopped after listening to what he was saying. For a second, while remembering, I didn't know what to do.
Then, without controlling myself, I leapt into his arms, hugging him lightly.

'I missed you so much, you idiot!'