A/N I spent a lot of time on trains today, and this is the result.

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3. The Angel And The Bone King

Effy

So there I was, on the road with a travelling circus. You might think this was a strange and insecure way to live, but really it was the safest I had felt for a fuck of a long time. Too safe, if the truth be told. Safe enough to make me do something really fucking stupid. I let my guard down. I was watching him, watching the colours from the firelight dance around on his face as we stood immersed in a bongo playing throng round a camp fire. We were at a little festival in Devon, and that night we had finished the last of our shows. We'd started our nocturnal adventures with a bigger gang, but somehow it had ended up just me and Freddie. Beautiful Freddie with his luscious lips and his sweet little puppy dog eyes. Eyes that kept flicking over towards me with hopeful little glances. Only that afternoon I had spilt my guts to Emily over why he was no good for me. I knew exactly why he was no good for me. He was just like Joe, pretty and scruffy and careless, hiding any hint of pain behind a soft fluffy cushion of weed. Joe was the guy I was with the first time the walls between dimensions crumbled in my mind and all manner of hell was let loose inside my unfettered cranium. Yep, living inside my head is like living on top of the Hellmouth, except there is no Buffy to save me from my numerous apocalypses….apocalypsi? What the fucking hell is the plural of apocalypse anyway? But I also told Emily I was tired, tired of being fucking mental. Tired of having to be so careful all the fucking time. Tired of being lonely for so fucking long.

"Do you ever think you'll be able to love again?" she had asked me, her tone laced with concern for my welfare. I had tried to give her a considered answer, but her question had burned. It was burning me still. She had asked me because she was burning so furiously with love, she could hardly bear the thought of anyone being stranded without it. I watched them, Emily and her Naomi, being cautious, playing safe. To a normal outside eye it might appear as occasional subtle flirting, but to me they were screaming at each other. Their fire was howling, dazzling, deafening in its intensity, and though they might not know it yet, their forces were destined to collide with explosive ferocity. Sometimes they shone so bright I had to retreat even further into my darkness just to be able to stand being around them. It was a truly beautiful thing to behold, but it made me physically ache with jealously. Knowing that if I ever got to feel like that again it would, quite literally, be the death of me.

Surely it was better to stay numb. Alive, but numb. Or was it? After a lifetime of treading carefully, would I even be me anymore? I know I have a dangerous tendency to let go, to let go of everything. That's what got me into so much trouble in the first place. But I was sick and fucking tired of being fucking tired and sick. I wanted to be a real girl again, even if it was only for a few minutes. Fuck it. I made my way over towards him, suddenly and silently appearing at his side.

"Jesus, Effy," he said, almost jumping out of his skin. "I didn't see you coming."

"They never do," I said softly.

"Who doesn't?" he asked me quizzically.

"Anyone."

He blinked his heavily lidded eyes at me, trying to work out an answer. It was taking him some time. Roughly thirteen hours into his smoking day, he was having focussing issues.

"Spliff?" was the only thing he could come up with. It wasn't his fault, he was probably too stoned to remember that he wasn't supposed to do that. And the passing of the joint was an easy form of communication, the perfect icebreaker when you are face to face with the woman of your fantasies and you don't know what the fuck to say. I looked at the smoking weapon he held up in his hand like it was a knife held up to stab me in the heart, but like a cutter who'd been forcibly deprived of razor blades, I looked upon that weapon with love. Just one drag, right? Just one drag, and I could talk to the cute boy and maybe even kiss him. I could be a real girl again, even if it was only for a moment.

"Sure," I said, taking the offending item and letting my fingers linger across his as I did so, raising a cute half smile from him in reply. Fuck, he was adorable. Just one drag, Effy. Just one drag.

I inhaled, drawing the hot smoke deep into my lungs, thankful that my hours of daily practice with cigarettes meant I still knew how to smoke. I held it down, allowing the toxic mixture to swirl around inside my lungs, before a long slow exhale into the night. God, I fucking missed this.

"Fuck that's good," I said, allowing a slow grin to creep across my lips, prompting Freddie's half smile to spread into a full on halogen beam. It was all the encouragement I needed to take the fateful second drag.

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Two spliffs later, everything seemed beautiful. The fire was beautiful, Freddie was beautiful, fuck even the bongo playing was beautiful. Maybe things were going to be ok this time. The beautiful boy and I were laughing along together, somehow managing to piece together a conversation in the way that only the bombed out and the virtually mute can, and for a moment I relaxed. And in that moment I was just a girl, having a laugh with a boy at a festival. Just like everyone else. Imagine a life like this. Imagine just how precious that would be. I felt him take my unsuspecting hands into his. I didn't resist it. I looked back up into his eyes.

"You're really pretty," he said.

At least I think that's what he said because all of a sudden I was the one having focussing issues.

"What?" I spat out unceremoniously. The real girl part of me knew that this was impolite and unladylike, but what the fuck did she matter? Pretty soon she was going to be clinging on for dear life. Deep in my heart I knew the signs. There was a storm coming. I didn't hear what Freddie said in reply, because although I knew that his mouth was moving the whole of my attention was focussed in on his eyes. They were turning black, really black. Completely black. I turned to the campfire hippies for help. Had they noticed? Would they be able to assure me that Freddie was ok? But when I looked all I could see were their eyes melting into darkness too. I looked back at Freddie and he was smiling, but I could see the bones of his skull showing through his transparent flesh. I looked down to see his skeletal hands tightening their grip on mine.

"Run!" screamed a sudden piercing voice, but it scared me so much that all it did was shock my muscles into paralysis.

"Don't run," whispered another. "If you do, he'll know that you know."

"Who will know?" I said desperately.

"He is the Bone King, and he wants to take your heart," the voice told me.

"He is the Bone King, and he wants to take your heart," confirmed the chanting of every one around me.

I looked down at Freddie's chest and his body was strobing between normal boy and x-ray vision. The flickering was confusing me but I managed to work out one thing. The Bone King didn't have a heart. That's why he needed to take mine. I had to get out of there, but how could I when everyone else was working for him? It looked like they were smiling at me, it looked like they wanted to love me, but they didn't know that I could see through their disguise to the fetid monster beneath.

"Run!" shouted the voice again.

"Don't run!" whispered the other.

"Don't let them know that you know."

"Don't let him take your heart."

I squeezed my eyes shut to try to find a sense of purpose. I knew that stealth was my only hope of escape. Slowly, oh so slowly, I extracted my hands from the Bone King's grasp a millimetre at a time. Only the tortoise could win this race, the hare would be destroyed. I slowed everything right down, my movements, my heartbeat, my breath. It was the only way they wouldn't see me as I fled.

"What are you doing, Effy?" asked the Bone King, shifting his shape back into the beautiful boy to try to deceive me.

"It's just a dance," I told him. "Just a dance."

The shape that pretended to be Freddie was frowning at me as I drifted away, but I didn't care what kind of tricks he was going to pull. I wasn't going to let him take my heart. I needed it. I needed it for something else. It took what seemed like hours to perfect my slow motion escape, but finally I was far enough away.

"Now you can run," the voices sang as one.

And I ran. I ran for my fucking life, not caring when I stumbled into mud, or crashed into one of the anonymous bodies surrounding me. I didn't know where I was going, lights were flashing in my eyes and all the faces looked the same, but I ran until my smoke tortured lungs were screaming in defiance, and I tumbled to the ground once more. I sat there in the middle of some kind of pathway gulping and gasping for air, until some kind couple stopped to help.

"Are you OK?" asked the guy, with rough cut ginger hair and a goatee. All I could do was gasp some more as I tried to force enough air into my lungs to speak. His girlfriend crouched beside me.

"Are you having an asthma attack," she asked me. "Do you need an inhaler?"

"No, I'm just…" I stuttered. What could I tell her, the fucking Bone King was trying to steal my vital organs. Jesus Effy, you're such a freak. A fucking fucked up loser of a freak.

"I'm sorry," I said, trying to get up.

"Want a hand?" said the guy, extending his own for me to hold. My breathing returning to normal, I started to reach up towards his grasp.

"Do you really think you can trust him?" came a thousand tiny whispers, hammering like hailstones in a violent summer storm. The bones started showing through his outstretched hand. I looked up to see the same dark strobing skull pulsating in his head. I turned to the girl beside me and saw that her eyes were pure black. Fucking ginger devil and his harpy nearly tricked me. I sprang to my feet and shoved him hard in the chest.

"Get the fuck away from me," I yelled. "I know what you are."

"Tripping," I saw him mouth towards his bitch.

This wasn't tripping, you areshole. Tripping is fucking fun.

"Now will you fucking run?" the screaming voices asked me. Seemed like a fucking good idea. I ran, and ran, though I had nowhere to run to. Those black eyed bone fuckers were fucking everywhere, and if I stopped they would find me, and they would rip out my fucking heart. I tried to keep my pace steady, so I could last for longer, but I was starting to panic. I couldn't run forever, and then what? Voices started battling in my head, offering conflicting advice, barking furious orders, only adding to my confusion. My flight was getting more and more ragged as my energy failed and my limbs started to burn. The bone fuckers were just laughing at me, they didn't even have to chase me. All they had to do was wait until I ran myself into the ground and they could pick me off at their mercy.

Suddenly in the distance I saw a light. A beautiful shining white light, and I knew I had to go towards it. I half ran, half staggered to the source, recklessly shoving any bone fucker that dared to get in my way. The voices and laughter were unbearably loud, and the constant fucking strobing had left me half blind, but the light was so beautiful that I knew it couldn't belong to them. And then she came into focus. Raised above the crowd there hovered an angel, a beautiful radiant angel. And she was dancing. It took the very last of my reserves of strength to get to her, but I knew if I could reach her, if I could make her see me, she could save me. She shone, iridescent as pearls in the sunlight, and as I struggled those final few metres I silently begged her to turn around and notice me.

"Effy," her voice cut through the cacophony.

The angel knew my name, she was mine. She raised me up to join her, pulled me out from the heaving swamp of bone fucker bodies, pulled me towards her into her arms. She wrapped me up in her protective embrace, until I felt the touch of skin on skin, and then….silence.

The screaming stopped, the world stopped pulsing in and out of light, and every last bone fucking demon dissipated into dust. There was only us, me and my angel saviour and an overwhelming sudden sense of calm. I held onto her, not daring to break the contact for fear of being flung back into the tempest. It felt like we were flying, flying to a better place, flying to a better world. My angel filled up every sense. Her skin was cool and soothing to the touch. Her scent consumed my every breath, spreading its delicate aromatherapy through my aching hungry body. Her sweet voice was like music singing me back to sanity. Her brown eyes shone as she rested her forehead against mine. Her curves were more enchantcing than the most celebrated work of art. She had really amazing tits….What?

I blinked, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from their current fascination, until I was interrupted by yet another voice.

"Go on, darling. Stick yer face in there and give 'em a good sucking."

A real voice, a human voice. Belonging to a real human wanker.

"Why don't you suck on this?" proclaimed the angel. "Cause I'm sure it's bigger than you pathetic excuse for a cock."

I looked out along her arm to witness her giving him the finger. Ok so perhaps not the most angelic of behaviours I'll agree, but…effective. My eyes were drawn back to the source of the controversy, and I felt myself drifting back towards a more widely held concept of reality.

"Katie?" I said hesitantly. "Katie Fitch?"

"Who else did you think it was, Katie sodding Price?"

Right then the familiar edge of that cutting tone was the most beautiful sound on earth. I had been in the vice like grip of a full on multilayered delusion, and she had brought me back.

"And what's with the tit staring anyway?" continued Katie. "It's Emily who's the gay one, remember?"

Was it my fault that her tits were what my brain considered Katie's defining feature, even in the depth of madness? It wasn't as if she ever tried to hide them. 'In yer face' was one of the more polite ways of describing her wardrobe.

"I thought you were an angel," I said.

"Well duh…" said Katie, flourishing her hands in front of her body and then spreading them wide. Sure enough, she was dressed as angel, carnival style, in a skimpy pure white costume, complete with corset, feathers, false eyelashes and a magnificent showgirl headdress. Even without the benefit of hallucination, she was electrifyingly beautiful.

"No…I..really thought you were angel," I explained.

The shock registered on her face as she began to cotton on. I looked at our surroundings in the harsh light of the truth. Of course she hadn't been flying above the crowd. We were standing on a go go platform, and Katie had been 'aving it large'.

"I thought you'd been sent to save me," I said quietly.

"From what?" she asked.

"From…skeleton monsters who were trying to…. steal my heart."

God, it sounded fucking ridiculous when I said it out loud.

"Right," said Katie. She was trying to put on a concerned and understanding face, but her eyes showed me she was barely suppressing a laugh.

"Skeleton monsters?" she repeated.

"Yep."

"Who were trying to eat your heart?"

"No, they were trying to steal my heart."

"I see," nodded Katie sagely.

"So they could…"

I stuttered as I felt the beginnings of mine own laughter starting to form in my belly.

"So they could give it to the Bone King," I smirked.

Katie could contain herself no longer. She started laughing uncontrollably, clinging onto my shoulder for support. And I laughed along with her. It was a blessed release. So different from all the concerned caring frowns I'd been subjected to over the years. I don't care what anyone says, Katie Fitch an angel in any damn reality.

"Who the fuck's the fucking Bone King?" she spluttered, blinking at me as she wiped away tears of laughter.

"Freddie's the Bone King," I giggled at her helplessly.

"Freddie?" she said, stopping her laughter dead.

I watched her features form into fury as her brain worked out the simple equation. Freddie equals spliff. Effy plus spliff equals nightmare.

"I'm going to fucking kill him," she murmured quietly. It was far more menacing than if she'd yelled it in my face. When Katie Fitch offers threats, they are not to be taken lightly.

"Come on," she said, grabbing my hand and leading me through the crowd. I went willingly, what other choice did I have? Katie was the one who was rooting me to reality. I couldn't lose the contact yet.

"Where are we going?" I asked her.

"We are going to fucking kill him," came the reply.

"We can't do that," I protested.

"You're right," she said. "I'm going to kill him. You get to watch."

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We found him still lounging around at the bongo fire like the harmless little space cake that he was.

"Effy, Katie," he smiled towards us, opening his arms to welcome us. But Katie was approaching attack velocity. I watched her calculate her moves in the final approach. I could tell she wanted to punch him in the face, but he was just too tall for her swing to have any real effect. But Katie wasn't one to let such details deter her. She smacked him in the balls instead.

"Katie, what the fuck?" he squealed, as he writhed around in the mud below her clutching his injured dignity.

"You gave her fucking skunk, you useless prick," she yelled at him. "Are you that fucking stupid, or were you just trying to get her wasted so you could get into her pants?"

"I wasn't…" moaned Freddie, almost sobbing with the pain.

"Either way, just stay the fuck away from her, yeah?"

With that, she turned on her heels and stormed off. I had seen plenty of people fight over me in my time, but I had never watched someone fight for me. Freddie looked up at me appealingly but all I could do was shake my head as I backed away from him. In the battle for Effy's heart, Angel beats Bone King every time.

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A/N Hard to believe it now, but for a long time I didn't get the Katie/Effy thing even though it appeared on here. I thought it was just the wishful thinking pairing of two available fit girls into a lesbian centric universe. But then came series 4, and at the time there was a much shared opinion (which I agreed with) that Emily and Naomi looked more in love when they were tearing each other apart, than Effy and Freddie ever did even when they were supposed to be happy. Then I saw the carnival scene, where Effy runs away from the boy she is supposed to love in the arms of Angel Katie Fitch, and it hit me like a bolt of lightning. In those few seconds that they hug, they look like they are born to be together every bit as much as Naomi and Emily. In those few seconds my brain just told me, that is who you need to be with Effy. Katie is the only one who can save you. Why? Because she's Katie Fucking Fitch, what other reason do you need?

That was the moment in which this relationship was born.