--DISCLAIMER--
I wrote this fic when I was bored... the language is bad, there's alot of violence and stuff too.
You have been warned! This just proves what kind of utter crap I can write when I'm bored...
ENCOUNTERS WITH WEAKéMON! Part 3
Ass and Kongyk stepped up from their spot at the front of the tank, while Lingo, Bighead,
Catnip, Scruffat, and GrapeJelly went to attack them.
"Fuck!" screamed Luke. "You're no fuckin' match for them! They'll tear off your balls, chew
on 'em, an' spit 'em out! You CAN'T beat 'em!" But, it all started out with GrapeJelly spraying
some unkown gooey shit all over their fat asses, then Bighead and Scruffat going over and biting
them, Lingo exploding on them, and finally with Catnip walking over to fart on them, which
knocked those fuckers out. Luke was totally surprised.
"Holy shit!" he screamed. "You took out those lard asses with just a few attacks! Fuck
you're good!" The Weakémon grinned at him.
"You're right," said GrapeJelly. "We are good. Go us." Just then, Cloaked Figure and Cloaked
Figure F got out of the tank, both were lighting up a joint.
"OK! Well you battled with them, now you battle with US!" said Cloaked Figure in his usual
scratchy voice. James stood up.
"Hey, you," he said, referring to Cloaked Figure. "You sound a hell of a lot familiar. Who are
you?" Cloaked Figure passed the joint to Cloaked Figure F, who gratefully accepted. Cloaked
Figure unveiled his hood to reveal!...
"SHIT!" shouted James. "I KNEW you fuckin' sounded familiar! Dammit!" It was Butch. "And I
suppose that chick there is Cassidy?" Cloaked Figure F nodded, and took off her hood, revealing
her annoying face. "Thought so. So now... what the fuck are you doing here?" Cassidy and Butch
were starting to get very high, so they started speaking gibberish.
"Well fuck I went done got that pig off my ass and then painted it blue." James rolled his eyes
and turned away.
"Yeah... that answers my question."
"Hey Butch," said Cassidy, in a voice as if to say she was coming on to him. "Let's do it, right
here baby." Butch winked at her, and immediately started ripping off her clothes on the spot.
Just then, Officer Jenny appeared.
"OK, you two, you can fuck all you want after you go to jail, sound good?" she asked the two.
The looked up from their... ahem... "time together" and nodded up at her.
"Why can't I score like that?" wailed Catnip. The kid was still crying on the waiting chair.
"Stop saying the bad swears!" she cried.
"SHUT UP!" shouted everyone, looking at her. She stopped, and Officer Jenny dragged the
screwing couple (Assidy and Bitch... er! I mean Cassidy and Butch) off to jail.
"Shit." said Nurse Joy. "Those bastards... now I'll have to clean this whole damn place up."
The KO'ed Ass and Kongyk were lying on the ground, and just then, about twelve Chanseys ran in...
"Aww... we know what's gonna happen here..." groaned Luke, walking out the door. "Have fun,
Joy."
Much later, our group was back in those damn woods again, when they found another REAL Weakémon!
It was a big wolf-type thing with scruffy, dark brown-red fur and eyes that gleamed like the
moon. Catnip ran back a few feet.
"Shit! You guys can take care of this one!" he said, cowering behind Luke. Scruffat rolled his
eyes.
"Pussy."
"Ratass!" James seperated the two, who looked like they might beat the living crap out of
eachother at any second.
"Now, maybe we should leave this overgrown dog to the humans..." began James.
"Fuck no!" screamed Jed. "Are you crazy!? We'll die, DIE! Go, Rhydon!" he threw his PokéBall
to the ground, and a vicious smile spread across the big wolf's face.
"Rhydon, huh?" he said. "Piece of cake." he lunged at the Rhydon, who pried him off with one
finger and threw him into a tree trunk. The wolf's back was extremely sore, but he managed to
limp off, muttering "Master Guy In The Big Chair will hear about this." under his breath, but
just loud enough so James, Billine, Selene, Luke, Jed, Giovanni, and all the Weakémon could hear
him. Giovanni looked alarmed.
"D-did you just say 'Guy In The Big Chair'?" he shouted after the beast. The wolf snarled.
"Yeh, I said it. What's it to yeh?" Giovanni shook his head, and the wolf limped his way
back to wherever the hell he came from. Luke looked at Giovanni.
"Uh, dude," he began. "What was that all about?" Giovanni looked at him.
"Seems like the asshole behind this organization is my brother," he said. "My brother Guy, who
always had the nickname 'The Guy In The Big Chair' because he used to sit around in a big ass
chair all day long pretending to be special... and he always told me he was going to get rid
of me one day... you see, we're twins and... ah, what the fuck am I saying!? I could beat him
with my Persian!" Luke looked at him funny. "You see," Giovanni continued, attempting to explain.
"My dad always taught me to train with Ground-type Pokémon, when he was the Viridian
leader, and he gave me this Meowth, who is now a Persian... and my brother sat around in his big
chair eating candy all day long while I beat the shit out of other Pokémon trainers in my
community. He was pathetic." Luke nodded.
"OK. I see." Selene put her hand in Luke's back pocket. Luke blushed. "Damn, woman!" They
continued on for awhile, until they found... Cassidy and Butch! Sitting on a rock, smoking a
cigarette. They stood up.
"Wait a minute... how the FUCK did they escape!?" shouted Luke. The two (Cassidy and Butch)
smiled from the rock they crawled out from... I mean, the rock they were sitting on ^_^;;;
"Master Guy In The Big Chair bailed us, while we were still high..." said Butch, passing the
cigarette to Cassidy. "But I must tell you, damn, that ain't the last stuff I'll spoke 'round
you Cass, rowr!" James rolled his eyes.
"Butch, time for you and me to fight." he said angrily. "And I don't mean with Pokémon." he made
a fist, but Butch started laughing REALLY hard at him.
"Y-YOU!? Mr. I-Like-To-Wear-Tutus-While-Jesse-Dresses-Like-A-Guy? Mr. Roses-Are-My-Specialty?
Mr. My-Nuts-Are-The-Size-Of-Marbles?" James's eyes narrowed.
"What the FUCK did you just say!?" he boomed. He didn't give a monkey's ass about the "I Like To
Wear Tutus While Jesse Dresses Like A Guy" or the "Roses Are My Specialty", but the last one
pissed him off to the height of pissed-off-ivity. His eyes began to glow an eerie bright red
and the grass, dirt, and flowers within a five-inch radius of him tore off and flew into the
cyclone that was forming around him. He was suddenly floating overtop a huge hole in the ground
and everyone stepped back a few inches. James held his arms straight up in the air and a ball
of glowing blue energy was floating in midair, above his arms. He shot it straight at Butch and
Cassidy, who fell over, faces, clothes, EVERYTHING charred pure black, but they weren't dead...
unfortunetly. James's eyes turned back to their natural forest green, but he ended up falling
down the massive hole that had formed during his attack.
"Shiiiiiiiiit...." he yelled as he fell down tens... hundreds... THOUSANDS of feet. Cassidy and
Butch were knocked out, and the cigarette they were holding began to scorch their cloaks. The
group - now of five - looked down the hole.
"James!" shouted Selene. "James! JAMES! CAN YOU HEAR ME!" there was a sickening crunch from
down the hole. "Well, shit, I guess he couldn't hear us, but we could hear him... damn, poor
guy." Just then, a girl with blazing red hair and in a Team Rocket uniform swooped down from
a nearby tree with a Meowth perched on her shoulder.
"Fuck!" she screamed. "James!" Catnip looked at her, completely lovestricken.
"Heyyy babaay," he said, walking closer to her. "I know James, maybe you and I should get
acquainted!" and he abruptly looked up her skirt. Jesse screamed and kicked the horny little
cat into the hole.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh...." his voice trailed off, and another CRUNCH! was
heard. Giovanni looked at Jesse.
"Aaah, Jesse," he said. "I'm surprised you haven't quit Team Rocket by now. It's failing."
Jesse's eyes widened.
"I can quit?" she asked. Giovanni nodded. "WOOHOO!" then she remembered James, who had fallen
down. She tsked.
"Butch really had no need for saying that... James's nuts really AREN'T the size of marbles..."
everyone's eyes widened as they looked at her.
"And how would you know that?" they all asked. Jesse blushed.
"Well you know, when you're partners in crime with someone of the opposite sex, you're bound
to fool around every once in awhile." Giovanni was utterly revolted.
"...Now I'm REALLY glad you both quit..." he said. Jesse shrugged.
"It's not quite as bad as what you and Professor Willow have been doing." she replied. The
four kids from Peacock City's eyes widened.
"S-so that's why Willow was so flirty around you, gross." said Billine. Jed shrugged.
"But not half as gross as what happened last night between Selene and Luke, that was fuckin'
sick." he said. Luke and Selene shrugged.
"We liked it." they said in unison. Scruffat then spoke up.
"Uhm, hello people, BUT CATNIP AND JAMES JUST FELL DOWN THAT FUCKING HOLE! NOW ARE WE GONNA
SIT HERE DRAGGING OUR ASSES AND WAITING FOR CASSIDY AND BUTCH TO WAKE UP OR ARE WE GONNA GO
DOWN THERE AND GET OUR DAMN FRIENDS!?" everyone looked at the green rat.
"Uhm... yeah... let's do that before he, uhm, gets pissed off..." said Luke, beginning to climb
down the hole; Selene was on his back (his idea). Scruffat smiled at his success and hopped on
Selene's head.
**()**
"*cough cough* Cloaked Figure and Cloaked Figure F reporting, sir." said Butch and Cassidy in
unison, their bodies still quite black.
"Fuck!" shouted The Guy In The Big Chair. "What the hell happened to you?" The two coughed
again, and fell over.
**()**
James woke up in an hour, with his cat rested on his stomach, claws dug deep. James screamed and
pushed Catnip off him, who abruptly woke up.
"Whoooa... shit my neck hurts..." said the cat. James's stomach was bleeding from the big
cat scratches, and his head was bleeding from the impact; he obviously thought he had a
concussion but... he noticed he had landed on a big pile of mushy stuff... dog crap.
"Ewww!" he shouted, leaping off the pile, but it was too late; he already smelled strongly of
dog crap. "Maybe there's an underground river nearby. Catnip?" Catnip turned around.
"I heard yeh. Let's go see if we can something. I think I hear some water running..." The
Weakémon/human duo followed the sound of water. They eventually came across a pipe that was
sticking out of the stone wall with water gushing out of it and landing in a small, square-shaped
stone basin that was already full of water. James and Catnip jumped in and took a brief bath.
"There, at least I don't smell like dog shit anymore." said James with a shrug. Then, the duo
heard a snort from behind them.
"Catnip, why did you just snort like that?" asked James. Catnip shook his head.
"Wasn't me," he said. The two turned around to see...
**()**
"Ugh... Selene..." groaned Luke as he climbed down the rocky hole. "You're not getting any
lighter." Selene looked offended.
"Well excuuuuse me, if I'm not Miss Cindy Crawford of the PokéWorld," she said, rolling her
eyes. Luke almost let go of the cliff.
"No, baby, I didn't mean that! I meant that all this climbing with you on my back is really..."
"Sexy?"
"Other than that," Luke continued. "I mean, with your weight, Scruffat's weight, and having to
pull my own, it adds up to be pretty heavy, ya know?" Selene looked slightly disheartened. "Hey,
Lene, I'll make it up to you tonight, if ya know what I mean..." Selene grinned.
"Kay!" Jed looked disgusted.
"Enough with the sex talk!" he shouted. Billine was holding on tight to his back, but of course,
he didn't mind. Jesse was on Giovanni's shoulders as well, just to hitch a ride and catch a few
Z's at the same time. At one point in their journey down the hole, there was a small cliff
where they rested, but only for about fifteen minutes, since they still had to scale the hole,
which was not very big in width.
Two hours later, everyone was exhausted, and they were at the bottom of the hole.
"Here," said GrapeJelly. "I can make myself glow so you guys can all see where you're going!"
but it was dark outside, so everyone objected.
"It's too late!" wailed Selene.
"My feet hurt," groaned Jed.
"I can't go on..." whispered Billine, fainting into Jed's arms. Jed, of course, was a little
turned on by this.
"Lene and I'll go farther away from here with our tents, so you guys won't hear us." said Luke
with a wink.
"Good idea." said Jed. Lingo popped out of his bookbag, wide awake and happy as a clam... but
wait... why the hell would clams be happy if their sole purpose for living is to be eaten by
vile, disgusting human creatures? Awwww fuck it, it's just a saying.
"Hey, are we all gonna have a party?" he asked. Everyone groaned. "What'd I say?"
"Lingo," began Jed. "We just climbed down a hole for five hours. Of COURSE we're not going to
have a party."
"Oh."
Selene and Luke walked about a mile (exhausted) before they found a good place where the others
wouldn't hear them, and quickly set up the tent. They went inside and... got at it.
**()**
James and Catnip ran for their lives; what they saw was a BIG dragon (not FatDragon though) with
blood red eyes and fangs the size of a human arm. They ran until they hit something; a big,
fabric thing that was vibrating, alot, and loud groans could be heard from inside it. James
tore open the tent (well if you didn't know it was gonna be a tent I think your IQ must be
quite low) and their lay Luke and Selene, attempting to cover themselves up.
"Hey, can I join in?" asked Catnip hopefully. Selene and Luke screamed.
"HURRY!" yelled James, panting from the length he had ran. "Cover yourselves up with a towel or
something, 'coz the dragon is gaining on us!" a panicked expression darted across the faces
of Luke and Selene as they each grabbed a sleeping bag and wrapped it around themselves, then
ran like hell outta there.
"WAIT FOR US!" screamed Catnip and James as they ran after the two. They looked behind them,
and saw the big dragon, continuing to chase them.
"Catnip," James began, ceasing to run. "We're gonna have to fight him." Catnip stopped and
looked at the dragon.
"Fuck, no!" he said, shaking his head.
"Well, what else are we gonna do?" he asked. Suddenly, Catnip looked even more determined.
"You're right! What else ARE we gonna do?" James nodded.
"That's the spirit. LUKE! SELENE! GET HELP!" he shouted after the running couple.
"KAY!" they screamed in reply, and continued to run like hell. James and Catnip assumed fighting
positions.
"It's now or never, Catnip... and I never really got to see any of your attacks." said James.
Catnip looked ready.
"I'll fight this asshole to the death!" James looked surprised.
"If you do, YOU might die! Here, I'll help." he said, sending out Weezing and Victreebel, who
promptly put his mouth over James's head.
"Dammit Victreebel! Attack the fuckin' dragon, not me!" Victreebel hopped off James and went
over to the big dragon, and used Razor Leaf, which took a few clean slices off his skin.
"Dammit!" shouted the dragon. "That hurt you little son of a bitch!" he went over and stepped
on the Victreebel, who was about the size of a Pikachu to him. The Victreebel was flat as... uhm,
a piece of paper?
"Shit! Victreebel!" shouted James. He was almost ready to give up hope when...
"I'll take that bitch out." said a loud voice from behind James. James turned around to see a
big fuckin' lion standing behind him.
"WAAAH! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?" he screamed. "AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO CATNIP!?" the lion smiled
knowingly.
"I am Catnip." he said. "But in this form, you must call me Leono. I can't be in this form for
long, it's the Weakémon's Evolution Code." James looked confused.
"Tell me more about this after, OK?" he replied. "But for now, KICK THIS GUY'S ASS!"
**()**
"Well," began The Guy, lighting a cigar. "If this dragon doesn't keep those two pricks on the
run for awhile, nothing will. Perhaps it will even..." he began with a sneer.
"Kill them?" finished Cloaked Figure and Cloaked Figure F. The Guy In The Big Chair smirked.
"Perhaps." he said.
**()**
Selene and Luke ran into the small camp area, sporting their sleeping bags just in time for
them to fall over, totally out of energy. Luke crawled to a tent and shook it.
"What the fuck!" yelled Giovanni from inside. He opened the tent door and saw Luke, who was
panting for air.
"James... huff puff... and Catnip... huff puff... big dragon... huff... trouble... that way..."
he weakly pointed a finger at the direction in which he and Selene had just come from. "Bring...
help..." he then fainted from the exhaustion.
*I wish he'd put on some clothes, yuck man,* he thought. He grabbed a pan and a spoon from
midair and started hitting the pan with the spoon.
"WAKE UP EVERYONE!" he yelled. "WE'VE GOT AN EMERGANCY HERE!" everyone ran out of their tents
in their PJs, and the Weakémon followed close behind.
"James and Catnip are back that way.." he began, pointing a finger at the same direction as
where Luke and Selene had come from. "And from what Luke's been telling me, they're in trouble.
We HAVE to help them." Jed nodded in agreement; he owed James big time.
"We've gotta help them!" just then, a HUGE rat, a HUGE mouse, a humungous mass of purple
jelly and a sphere the size of an Electrode with a face rolled around.
"Huh? Who the hell are you?" said Jesse as Meowth exited the tent. The sphere rolled to her.
"My name is Tetherball, the others will be introduced briefly, now hurry and get on our backs
before time runs out!" Since all of them were so enormous, they were able to fit Jesse, Giovanni,
and Jed on the former Bighead and Billine, Luke, Selene, and Meowth on the former Scuffat.
"Do we got everybody?" asked the big rat. "Good. Hang on motherfuckers! This ride's gonna be
a fast one!"
~*END OF PART 3*~
Now I'm accepting comments! Man, am I a moron! stoopid_cooper@hotmail.com (and yes, that IS my
real e-mail address)
I wrote this fic when I was bored... the language is bad, there's alot of violence and stuff too.
You have been warned! This just proves what kind of utter crap I can write when I'm bored...
ENCOUNTERS WITH WEAKéMON! Part 3
Ass and Kongyk stepped up from their spot at the front of the tank, while Lingo, Bighead,
Catnip, Scruffat, and GrapeJelly went to attack them.
"Fuck!" screamed Luke. "You're no fuckin' match for them! They'll tear off your balls, chew
on 'em, an' spit 'em out! You CAN'T beat 'em!" But, it all started out with GrapeJelly spraying
some unkown gooey shit all over their fat asses, then Bighead and Scruffat going over and biting
them, Lingo exploding on them, and finally with Catnip walking over to fart on them, which
knocked those fuckers out. Luke was totally surprised.
"Holy shit!" he screamed. "You took out those lard asses with just a few attacks! Fuck
you're good!" The Weakémon grinned at him.
"You're right," said GrapeJelly. "We are good. Go us." Just then, Cloaked Figure and Cloaked
Figure F got out of the tank, both were lighting up a joint.
"OK! Well you battled with them, now you battle with US!" said Cloaked Figure in his usual
scratchy voice. James stood up.
"Hey, you," he said, referring to Cloaked Figure. "You sound a hell of a lot familiar. Who are
you?" Cloaked Figure passed the joint to Cloaked Figure F, who gratefully accepted. Cloaked
Figure unveiled his hood to reveal!...
"SHIT!" shouted James. "I KNEW you fuckin' sounded familiar! Dammit!" It was Butch. "And I
suppose that chick there is Cassidy?" Cloaked Figure F nodded, and took off her hood, revealing
her annoying face. "Thought so. So now... what the fuck are you doing here?" Cassidy and Butch
were starting to get very high, so they started speaking gibberish.
"Well fuck I went done got that pig off my ass and then painted it blue." James rolled his eyes
and turned away.
"Yeah... that answers my question."
"Hey Butch," said Cassidy, in a voice as if to say she was coming on to him. "Let's do it, right
here baby." Butch winked at her, and immediately started ripping off her clothes on the spot.
Just then, Officer Jenny appeared.
"OK, you two, you can fuck all you want after you go to jail, sound good?" she asked the two.
The looked up from their... ahem... "time together" and nodded up at her.
"Why can't I score like that?" wailed Catnip. The kid was still crying on the waiting chair.
"Stop saying the bad swears!" she cried.
"SHUT UP!" shouted everyone, looking at her. She stopped, and Officer Jenny dragged the
screwing couple (Assidy and Bitch... er! I mean Cassidy and Butch) off to jail.
"Shit." said Nurse Joy. "Those bastards... now I'll have to clean this whole damn place up."
The KO'ed Ass and Kongyk were lying on the ground, and just then, about twelve Chanseys ran in...
"Aww... we know what's gonna happen here..." groaned Luke, walking out the door. "Have fun,
Joy."
Much later, our group was back in those damn woods again, when they found another REAL Weakémon!
It was a big wolf-type thing with scruffy, dark brown-red fur and eyes that gleamed like the
moon. Catnip ran back a few feet.
"Shit! You guys can take care of this one!" he said, cowering behind Luke. Scruffat rolled his
eyes.
"Pussy."
"Ratass!" James seperated the two, who looked like they might beat the living crap out of
eachother at any second.
"Now, maybe we should leave this overgrown dog to the humans..." began James.
"Fuck no!" screamed Jed. "Are you crazy!? We'll die, DIE! Go, Rhydon!" he threw his PokéBall
to the ground, and a vicious smile spread across the big wolf's face.
"Rhydon, huh?" he said. "Piece of cake." he lunged at the Rhydon, who pried him off with one
finger and threw him into a tree trunk. The wolf's back was extremely sore, but he managed to
limp off, muttering "Master Guy In The Big Chair will hear about this." under his breath, but
just loud enough so James, Billine, Selene, Luke, Jed, Giovanni, and all the Weakémon could hear
him. Giovanni looked alarmed.
"D-did you just say 'Guy In The Big Chair'?" he shouted after the beast. The wolf snarled.
"Yeh, I said it. What's it to yeh?" Giovanni shook his head, and the wolf limped his way
back to wherever the hell he came from. Luke looked at Giovanni.
"Uh, dude," he began. "What was that all about?" Giovanni looked at him.
"Seems like the asshole behind this organization is my brother," he said. "My brother Guy, who
always had the nickname 'The Guy In The Big Chair' because he used to sit around in a big ass
chair all day long pretending to be special... and he always told me he was going to get rid
of me one day... you see, we're twins and... ah, what the fuck am I saying!? I could beat him
with my Persian!" Luke looked at him funny. "You see," Giovanni continued, attempting to explain.
"My dad always taught me to train with Ground-type Pokémon, when he was the Viridian
leader, and he gave me this Meowth, who is now a Persian... and my brother sat around in his big
chair eating candy all day long while I beat the shit out of other Pokémon trainers in my
community. He was pathetic." Luke nodded.
"OK. I see." Selene put her hand in Luke's back pocket. Luke blushed. "Damn, woman!" They
continued on for awhile, until they found... Cassidy and Butch! Sitting on a rock, smoking a
cigarette. They stood up.
"Wait a minute... how the FUCK did they escape!?" shouted Luke. The two (Cassidy and Butch)
smiled from the rock they crawled out from... I mean, the rock they were sitting on ^_^;;;
"Master Guy In The Big Chair bailed us, while we were still high..." said Butch, passing the
cigarette to Cassidy. "But I must tell you, damn, that ain't the last stuff I'll spoke 'round
you Cass, rowr!" James rolled his eyes.
"Butch, time for you and me to fight." he said angrily. "And I don't mean with Pokémon." he made
a fist, but Butch started laughing REALLY hard at him.
"Y-YOU!? Mr. I-Like-To-Wear-Tutus-While-Jesse-Dresses-Like-A-Guy? Mr. Roses-Are-My-Specialty?
Mr. My-Nuts-Are-The-Size-Of-Marbles?" James's eyes narrowed.
"What the FUCK did you just say!?" he boomed. He didn't give a monkey's ass about the "I Like To
Wear Tutus While Jesse Dresses Like A Guy" or the "Roses Are My Specialty", but the last one
pissed him off to the height of pissed-off-ivity. His eyes began to glow an eerie bright red
and the grass, dirt, and flowers within a five-inch radius of him tore off and flew into the
cyclone that was forming around him. He was suddenly floating overtop a huge hole in the ground
and everyone stepped back a few inches. James held his arms straight up in the air and a ball
of glowing blue energy was floating in midair, above his arms. He shot it straight at Butch and
Cassidy, who fell over, faces, clothes, EVERYTHING charred pure black, but they weren't dead...
unfortunetly. James's eyes turned back to their natural forest green, but he ended up falling
down the massive hole that had formed during his attack.
"Shiiiiiiiiit...." he yelled as he fell down tens... hundreds... THOUSANDS of feet. Cassidy and
Butch were knocked out, and the cigarette they were holding began to scorch their cloaks. The
group - now of five - looked down the hole.
"James!" shouted Selene. "James! JAMES! CAN YOU HEAR ME!" there was a sickening crunch from
down the hole. "Well, shit, I guess he couldn't hear us, but we could hear him... damn, poor
guy." Just then, a girl with blazing red hair and in a Team Rocket uniform swooped down from
a nearby tree with a Meowth perched on her shoulder.
"Fuck!" she screamed. "James!" Catnip looked at her, completely lovestricken.
"Heyyy babaay," he said, walking closer to her. "I know James, maybe you and I should get
acquainted!" and he abruptly looked up her skirt. Jesse screamed and kicked the horny little
cat into the hole.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh...." his voice trailed off, and another CRUNCH! was
heard. Giovanni looked at Jesse.
"Aaah, Jesse," he said. "I'm surprised you haven't quit Team Rocket by now. It's failing."
Jesse's eyes widened.
"I can quit?" she asked. Giovanni nodded. "WOOHOO!" then she remembered James, who had fallen
down. She tsked.
"Butch really had no need for saying that... James's nuts really AREN'T the size of marbles..."
everyone's eyes widened as they looked at her.
"And how would you know that?" they all asked. Jesse blushed.
"Well you know, when you're partners in crime with someone of the opposite sex, you're bound
to fool around every once in awhile." Giovanni was utterly revolted.
"...Now I'm REALLY glad you both quit..." he said. Jesse shrugged.
"It's not quite as bad as what you and Professor Willow have been doing." she replied. The
four kids from Peacock City's eyes widened.
"S-so that's why Willow was so flirty around you, gross." said Billine. Jed shrugged.
"But not half as gross as what happened last night between Selene and Luke, that was fuckin'
sick." he said. Luke and Selene shrugged.
"We liked it." they said in unison. Scruffat then spoke up.
"Uhm, hello people, BUT CATNIP AND JAMES JUST FELL DOWN THAT FUCKING HOLE! NOW ARE WE GONNA
SIT HERE DRAGGING OUR ASSES AND WAITING FOR CASSIDY AND BUTCH TO WAKE UP OR ARE WE GONNA GO
DOWN THERE AND GET OUR DAMN FRIENDS!?" everyone looked at the green rat.
"Uhm... yeah... let's do that before he, uhm, gets pissed off..." said Luke, beginning to climb
down the hole; Selene was on his back (his idea). Scruffat smiled at his success and hopped on
Selene's head.
**()**
"*cough cough* Cloaked Figure and Cloaked Figure F reporting, sir." said Butch and Cassidy in
unison, their bodies still quite black.
"Fuck!" shouted The Guy In The Big Chair. "What the hell happened to you?" The two coughed
again, and fell over.
**()**
James woke up in an hour, with his cat rested on his stomach, claws dug deep. James screamed and
pushed Catnip off him, who abruptly woke up.
"Whoooa... shit my neck hurts..." said the cat. James's stomach was bleeding from the big
cat scratches, and his head was bleeding from the impact; he obviously thought he had a
concussion but... he noticed he had landed on a big pile of mushy stuff... dog crap.
"Ewww!" he shouted, leaping off the pile, but it was too late; he already smelled strongly of
dog crap. "Maybe there's an underground river nearby. Catnip?" Catnip turned around.
"I heard yeh. Let's go see if we can something. I think I hear some water running..." The
Weakémon/human duo followed the sound of water. They eventually came across a pipe that was
sticking out of the stone wall with water gushing out of it and landing in a small, square-shaped
stone basin that was already full of water. James and Catnip jumped in and took a brief bath.
"There, at least I don't smell like dog shit anymore." said James with a shrug. Then, the duo
heard a snort from behind them.
"Catnip, why did you just snort like that?" asked James. Catnip shook his head.
"Wasn't me," he said. The two turned around to see...
**()**
"Ugh... Selene..." groaned Luke as he climbed down the rocky hole. "You're not getting any
lighter." Selene looked offended.
"Well excuuuuse me, if I'm not Miss Cindy Crawford of the PokéWorld," she said, rolling her
eyes. Luke almost let go of the cliff.
"No, baby, I didn't mean that! I meant that all this climbing with you on my back is really..."
"Sexy?"
"Other than that," Luke continued. "I mean, with your weight, Scruffat's weight, and having to
pull my own, it adds up to be pretty heavy, ya know?" Selene looked slightly disheartened. "Hey,
Lene, I'll make it up to you tonight, if ya know what I mean..." Selene grinned.
"Kay!" Jed looked disgusted.
"Enough with the sex talk!" he shouted. Billine was holding on tight to his back, but of course,
he didn't mind. Jesse was on Giovanni's shoulders as well, just to hitch a ride and catch a few
Z's at the same time. At one point in their journey down the hole, there was a small cliff
where they rested, but only for about fifteen minutes, since they still had to scale the hole,
which was not very big in width.
Two hours later, everyone was exhausted, and they were at the bottom of the hole.
"Here," said GrapeJelly. "I can make myself glow so you guys can all see where you're going!"
but it was dark outside, so everyone objected.
"It's too late!" wailed Selene.
"My feet hurt," groaned Jed.
"I can't go on..." whispered Billine, fainting into Jed's arms. Jed, of course, was a little
turned on by this.
"Lene and I'll go farther away from here with our tents, so you guys won't hear us." said Luke
with a wink.
"Good idea." said Jed. Lingo popped out of his bookbag, wide awake and happy as a clam... but
wait... why the hell would clams be happy if their sole purpose for living is to be eaten by
vile, disgusting human creatures? Awwww fuck it, it's just a saying.
"Hey, are we all gonna have a party?" he asked. Everyone groaned. "What'd I say?"
"Lingo," began Jed. "We just climbed down a hole for five hours. Of COURSE we're not going to
have a party."
"Oh."
Selene and Luke walked about a mile (exhausted) before they found a good place where the others
wouldn't hear them, and quickly set up the tent. They went inside and... got at it.
**()**
James and Catnip ran for their lives; what they saw was a BIG dragon (not FatDragon though) with
blood red eyes and fangs the size of a human arm. They ran until they hit something; a big,
fabric thing that was vibrating, alot, and loud groans could be heard from inside it. James
tore open the tent (well if you didn't know it was gonna be a tent I think your IQ must be
quite low) and their lay Luke and Selene, attempting to cover themselves up.
"Hey, can I join in?" asked Catnip hopefully. Selene and Luke screamed.
"HURRY!" yelled James, panting from the length he had ran. "Cover yourselves up with a towel or
something, 'coz the dragon is gaining on us!" a panicked expression darted across the faces
of Luke and Selene as they each grabbed a sleeping bag and wrapped it around themselves, then
ran like hell outta there.
"WAIT FOR US!" screamed Catnip and James as they ran after the two. They looked behind them,
and saw the big dragon, continuing to chase them.
"Catnip," James began, ceasing to run. "We're gonna have to fight him." Catnip stopped and
looked at the dragon.
"Fuck, no!" he said, shaking his head.
"Well, what else are we gonna do?" he asked. Suddenly, Catnip looked even more determined.
"You're right! What else ARE we gonna do?" James nodded.
"That's the spirit. LUKE! SELENE! GET HELP!" he shouted after the running couple.
"KAY!" they screamed in reply, and continued to run like hell. James and Catnip assumed fighting
positions.
"It's now or never, Catnip... and I never really got to see any of your attacks." said James.
Catnip looked ready.
"I'll fight this asshole to the death!" James looked surprised.
"If you do, YOU might die! Here, I'll help." he said, sending out Weezing and Victreebel, who
promptly put his mouth over James's head.
"Dammit Victreebel! Attack the fuckin' dragon, not me!" Victreebel hopped off James and went
over to the big dragon, and used Razor Leaf, which took a few clean slices off his skin.
"Dammit!" shouted the dragon. "That hurt you little son of a bitch!" he went over and stepped
on the Victreebel, who was about the size of a Pikachu to him. The Victreebel was flat as... uhm,
a piece of paper?
"Shit! Victreebel!" shouted James. He was almost ready to give up hope when...
"I'll take that bitch out." said a loud voice from behind James. James turned around to see a
big fuckin' lion standing behind him.
"WAAAH! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?" he screamed. "AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO CATNIP!?" the lion smiled
knowingly.
"I am Catnip." he said. "But in this form, you must call me Leono. I can't be in this form for
long, it's the Weakémon's Evolution Code." James looked confused.
"Tell me more about this after, OK?" he replied. "But for now, KICK THIS GUY'S ASS!"
**()**
"Well," began The Guy, lighting a cigar. "If this dragon doesn't keep those two pricks on the
run for awhile, nothing will. Perhaps it will even..." he began with a sneer.
"Kill them?" finished Cloaked Figure and Cloaked Figure F. The Guy In The Big Chair smirked.
"Perhaps." he said.
**()**
Selene and Luke ran into the small camp area, sporting their sleeping bags just in time for
them to fall over, totally out of energy. Luke crawled to a tent and shook it.
"What the fuck!" yelled Giovanni from inside. He opened the tent door and saw Luke, who was
panting for air.
"James... huff puff... and Catnip... huff puff... big dragon... huff... trouble... that way..."
he weakly pointed a finger at the direction in which he and Selene had just come from. "Bring...
help..." he then fainted from the exhaustion.
*I wish he'd put on some clothes, yuck man,* he thought. He grabbed a pan and a spoon from
midair and started hitting the pan with the spoon.
"WAKE UP EVERYONE!" he yelled. "WE'VE GOT AN EMERGANCY HERE!" everyone ran out of their tents
in their PJs, and the Weakémon followed close behind.
"James and Catnip are back that way.." he began, pointing a finger at the same direction as
where Luke and Selene had come from. "And from what Luke's been telling me, they're in trouble.
We HAVE to help them." Jed nodded in agreement; he owed James big time.
"We've gotta help them!" just then, a HUGE rat, a HUGE mouse, a humungous mass of purple
jelly and a sphere the size of an Electrode with a face rolled around.
"Huh? Who the hell are you?" said Jesse as Meowth exited the tent. The sphere rolled to her.
"My name is Tetherball, the others will be introduced briefly, now hurry and get on our backs
before time runs out!" Since all of them were so enormous, they were able to fit Jesse, Giovanni,
and Jed on the former Bighead and Billine, Luke, Selene, and Meowth on the former Scuffat.
"Do we got everybody?" asked the big rat. "Good. Hang on motherfuckers! This ride's gonna be
a fast one!"
~*END OF PART 3*~
Now I'm accepting comments! Man, am I a moron! stoopid_cooper@hotmail.com (and yes, that IS my
real e-mail address)