Chapter 3: Shared Interests.
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"Well, John," Philip said, "what do you want to talk about with Sherlock?"
John, looking at Sherlock, said slowly, "I really adore books, expecially the books from Jane Austen. Now, many men think she's a writer for females and oversensitive women, but I really like her novels. Especially Emma, I think there is a very interesting story going on of a woman who has everything she wants, until she falls in love, and I do like to believe it can still tell us something today."
Philip nodded, interested. "Well, Sherlock," he said. "What do you have to say on this matter?"
"I think Emma is an interesting book," Sherlock admitted, while his eyes shone devilishly.
"Have you actually read it?" Mycroft teased.
"Of course I have," Sherlock answered indigantly, "and it was rubbish. If Emma really is as clever as she says she is, she could have noticed the signs on Frank Churchill and Jane Fairfax the first time she met the kids. It's easy, really. Dilated pupils, elevated heart rate, secret looks and touches, personal tics both participants took over from the other... She could also have noticed the signs that 'Mr. E.' was going to propose to her by his nervousness, or his willingness to be in the same carriage with her. In short, if Jane Austen really was such a clever writer, she could have written the book much and much better."
John's jaw dropped and the audience was silent for a bit.
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John clenched his belly, trying to stop rolling off the sofa. "I can't believe you actually said all that!" he hiccupped. "You're supposed to seduce me; I hardly think it will work this way!"
"You said you liked honesty, and honesty is what you get, Johnny dear." Sherlock defended himself.
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"Ow. Well, thank you, Sherlock," Philip said, obviously at loss with the situation.
"You're welcome, Philip," Sherlock answered, looking very well-pleased with himself but not noticing the awkward silence.
"Gregory, you're next. John, what do you want to talk to him about?"
"My father always collected stamps; he had many from overseas and also some collectibles. I inherited them and sometimes I even buy a new one. Do you collect something?"
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"Really a shitty subject, John," Greg complained, staring at his empty beer-bottle. "Where do you keep the bottles? I have no desire to watch this, actually…"
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Greg coughed and cocked an eyebrow in disbelief. But then he suddenly seemed to have made up his mind, and he grinned when he began to speak. "I certainly collect things, John," he smiled. "It may sound stupid, but I have a, erm… call it a soft spot, for hedgehogs. I have so many of them... Porcelain, stuffed animals, real ones, pictures, even some self-made pictures of rare species of them. But, oh this is really great! I'm so besotted with those animals, that I made a blog about Hedgehog Hank and his adventures as a HI, Hedgehog Inspector. It's really thrilling to have such an insight in a hedgehog's brain. I also requested a special issue of the Playgirl to make a Hedgehog special, but nobody seemed interested."
Greg grinned self-complacent, and purposely ignored the shocked stares from his three friends and the host.
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"Good grief… I can't believe I said all that…" Greg buried his face in his hands and groaned.
"Ah, cheer up Greg," John tried to comfort him. "I thought it was really sweet!"
Sherlock and Mycroft choked on their respective drinks, simultaneously.
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"Okay…" Philip said, looking flushed and rather embarrassed. "John, do you have anything to say to that?"
John nodded, and asked, "If you're that fond of hedgehogs, will there be some place for me in your life?"
Greg nodded. "That's why I chose to participate, John. I've always thought you looked a bit like one. Hank agreed you'd be a nice addition to my collection."
The audience, having recovered from their initial shock, clapped hesitantly.
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"Even the audience thought it was weird. Congratulations Lestrade, you've outdone yourself this time."
Greg shot Sherlock a murderous glance.
"At least he outdid himself really well."
Greg shot Mycroft a murderous glance too.
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"John, what do you want to discuss with Mycroft?"
"Mycroft, I have been an army doctor, which meant taking decisions in an instant. I've always had some difficulty with that. How do you do it?"
Mycroft cleared his throat and sat up straight, already having an answer in mind. "Dear doctor Watson, I understand many men have difficulties with making quick decisions. I always try to access a problem from as many sides as possible, trying to stay away from personal interests."
The audience looked visibly bored, but Mycroft Holmes wasn't finished yet. "But sometimes, one needs to think, not with his brains, but with some other… parts of his body. I think the primal needs are invaluable when it comes to deciding. Never decide with your heart, that will only turn things gravely awry, and who would want that..?"
John nodded and turned to face Philip. "I know enough."
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"Nice answer, Mycroft," Greg said appreciatively.
"Thank you, Detective Inspector," Mycroft bowed.
Sherlock huffed. "Ha, that comes from a man who claims to have a passionate love for hedgehogs. I would not believe him, Mycroft."
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"John will turn to vote while we will go on to round three, Unheard Insults!" Philip beamed.
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A/N: Wowzers. The reviews were incredibly kind! Thank you so much! I love reviews... :$
I'm glad you're all enjoying this so very much. I hope you enjoyed this chapt too? Well, next up is, as Philip kindly told us, Unheard Insults, in which our three seducers will be able to tell their true opinion of John, which John can't hear. Except at home, of course. Will it really be that bad?
As always, this chapter was beta'ed by Mrs. Cumberbatch, who is still awesome. :D