Sorry Chapter 3 came later than expected. I was busy and stuff, but I decided not to be lazy anymore! HOORAY!
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Chapter 3
YOU GUYS ARE NINJAS!?
Throwing the brochure on the couch, he hurried as fast as he could! Peter traveled throughout the house, collecting anything he could to throw in the trunk of the car. Once he had gathered their clothes, food, and other personal junk- it was then time to gather the family! But since it was midnight, they were all asleep. But he was still planning to bring them along, no doubt about that. First, he scooped up Stewie, ignoring his teddy bear and all the drawings of his mother screaming bloody murder. Then he dragged Chris and decided to quickly beat up the evil monkey in his closet for flipping him off earlier. Third was Meg, and Peter was wearing elastic gloves, a gas mask, and an apron thinking it was all necessary in order to put Meg in the car. He didn't forget to read her diary either. Then he took Brian, but noticed all the pot lying around. Assuming it was candy, Peter decided to eat it, then puke it out, then continue dragging Brian along while sobbing in pain. Last was Lois, which was easy as he carried her to the car. Oh yeah, he ESPECIALLY didn't forget her bra's. Silly perv!
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Lois lay under the blanket, sleeping quietly. But the peacefulness was disrupted as a voice whispered softly in her ear.
"Lois, wanna take a vacation?"
"Sure, whatever..." She groaned, "We'll talk about it later...."
"Really? Um, yeah...the thing is, we're nearly there..."
"What?" Lois opened her eyes. She was shocked to see she was sitting up in the front seat of the car, with Peter at the wheel. The kids with Brian were in the back, still sleeping and in their pajamas. Lois even noticed how all of them were tied up, and they seemed to be driving through the middle of no where.
"PETER, WHAT THE HELL!?"
"Morning, sleepy head! I stopped by Starbucks and got you some breakfast. The best thing is- I didn't eat it for you!"
"Peter, I want to know what's going on-" She was cut off as a bagel was stuffed in her mouth.
"Eat, you don't wanna go anorexic like Meg!"
Louis only spat out the bagel, roaring in anger, "TELL ME WHAT YOUR DOING!!!!!"
"Relax, I just thought the family could take a vacation! I even packed all the stuff we needed, rented an apartment, got somebody to give us a tour of the place, and signed Chris and Meg to go to some sort of academy or something retarded like that."
"You did all that in one night?"
"And even got through watching High School Musical!"
----
Peter was sitting in the living room, watching T.V.
"WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER-"
"WHY IS EVERYONE SO OBSESSED WITH THIS?"
"HEY! Who wants to sing again?"
"Must not scream.....SOMEBODY SHOOT ME!!!"
---
Lois took a glance at the brochure lying next to her, "We're going to A Hidden Leaf village...? Sounds Japanese, where are we now anyway?
"I dunno, followed the directions on the map, asked a few hitch-hikers where to go and forgot to take them with me. But we're getting close!"
"Guess thats why it's called hidden...but why are we all tied up?"
"In case you attempted to escape."
"Damn."
Yawning came from the back of the car, followed by the gasps, then screams.
"WHAT THE DEUCE IS GOING ON, YOU FAT MAN!? And where's Rupert!?"
"Sorry Stewie, forgot to pack him." Peter shrugged.
"WHAT!? You fat, unforgivable, Snorlax!!!!"
"No pokemon-calling Stewie," Lois said sternly, "Your father apparently is taking us on a trip..."
"Could somebody at least get me up!?" Brian barked, trapped on the floor with the pairs of feet squishing him, "I can barely stretch out and my bubble's bursting!"
"OMG, BUBBLES! WHERE!?" Chris cried with excitement.
"Not cool, Dad!" Meg said, "I was supposed to go to the mall today!"
The others stared at her, "..................................................."
"You know....with my friends."
"......................................................................................................................."
"We're like, the coolest people in school! Come on!"
Everyone broke out in laughter.
"Ah, Meg you jokester you!" Peter said as he wiped a tear away.
Minutes had gone by as they continued driving past the forest-like scenery, which was probably why they called Konoha the "Leaf" Village. Finally, they could see from some mile away an open gateway. Despite the fact that they couldn't see all of the buildings and apartment within, from far away the entire village was surrounded by mountains. Carved in the mountains were four faces looking stern. Peter stopped the car, then got out to untie the rest of the family. But as soon as he cut the ropes- BIG MISTAKE. They all lunged at him like wild animals, tearing his clothes apart and damaging any part of flesh.
"AH-what the -stop-STOP-not there!!!" A crack came as Stewie dug his foot into Peter's nose,
"That's for Rupert, you fat Brittany Spears!!"
"Er-am I interrupting something?"
They all turned from the bloodied-up Peter awkwardly at the new voice. A man was standing there wearing a green vest over a black shirt and wore the same colored trousers with blue sandals. His skin was tannish dark, a scar was across his nose, his hair up in a pony tail, and he wore a headband with an odd symbol across it.
"I'm Iruka Sensei, I'm supposed to be giving the Griffin family a brief tour of our village...?
"Um, sorry? We had a nasty start on the way here." Brian said as he dropped Peter's twisted ankle.
"OH MY GOD MOM, THERES AN SNAIL LYING UPSIDE DOWN ON HIS FOREHEAD!" Chris suddenly cried, "SOMEBODY SAVE IT!!"
"No, this is the leaf insignia of our village. I'm guessing your Chris Griffin? I'll be teaching you and your sister at the academy to train you to become a genin!"
"What's a genin?" Meg asked.
"A genin is one of the first steps of being a shinobi. Only when you graduate you can become a genin, and if you even are ready, you can start training to become a chuinin then a jounin." He explained.
"So what's a shinobi?"
Before Iruka could answer, a boy came trudging into the scene. He had black hair and dark eyes, and wore a headband like the sensei. He had n a blue T-shirt, white shorts, and other stuff I can't remember. Meg felt an attraction toward this boy.
"Hey, Iruka Sensei..."
"Hello, Sasuke-kun! What can I do for you?"
"Naruto got himself tied to a tree."
"How'd he do that?"
"I don't even know, but I need to borrow something sharp."
"*Sigh* Here," As the sensei reached into his pocket and pulled a blade out, Peter recognized it.
"Woah, wait a second! Thats a kunai!"
"Yes?" Iruka said.
"But...only ninjas use that!"
"I know."
"But.....that would mean your a ninja!"
"Indeed."
"Wait....THEN YOUR A NINJA!?"
"Yes I am, so is Sasuke here. Another term for shinobi-you Americans might say, is ninja."
"....EVERYONE IN THIS VILLAGE IS A FREAKING NINJA!?"
"Most, yeah."
Peter stared at him. Lois gasped. Brian raised an eyebrow. Meg thought of Sasuke topless. Chris picked his nose. Stewie, who was about to shoot Lois with a cross-bow lowered it innocently and pretended to look shocked with the rest.
"I'm....I'm home!!" Giving Iruka a hug, he skipped off happily inside of the village.
"Um, does he normally do that?" Iruka asked awkwardly.
"Did it to Daniel Radcliffe when he gave him a prop from the Harry Potter movies." Brian said.
"Ok."
"Your all pathetic," Sasuke groaned as he took the kunai and walked away. Meg frowned at this.
"OMG Mom, we're gonna train to be ninjas!?" Chris asked excitedly.
"I don't know if I'm comfortable with you using a weapon, Chris. Remember the butter knife?"
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Chris was sitting in the front yard holding a butter knife on top of a picnic blanket, a loaf on bread next to him and a container of butter. He scraped some butter from the container, and used one hand to hold the loaf down as if it would run away. He held the knife and-
Thirty minutes later...
Lois came into the scene,
"Chris, it's time for dinner-HOLY CRAP!!"
"It hurts, Mommy!" Chris wailed, his left arm now missing.
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"Mrs. Griffin, I assure you that we train our young pupils until they're well-trained and ready to fight." Iruka said.
"Well...Ok..."
"THAT SETTLES IT!" From no where, Peter appeared out of the blue, "Meg, Chris, I am going to attend this academy with you and become a ninja!"
"Oh god no..." Brian moaned.
"Peter, don't." Lois groaned.
"Mr. Griffin, I can understand if you want to start training as a ninja-but the academy is for the most youngest children and-"
"I WANNA BE A NINJA! I WANNA BE A NINJA!" He picked Meg up, throwing the screaming girl around as if she were a toy then began rolling around on the ground childishly.
"Peter, please stop." Lois begged.
"I WANNA BE A NINJA! I WANNA BE A NINJA!"
"Mr. Griffin, please!" Iruka cried, "I'm just saying you'd be the only grown adult and it'd look silly!"
"I WANNA BE A NINJA! I WANNA BE A NINJA!"
"Iruka Sensei, clearly he's not a grown adult." Brian said.
"But...fine, Peter if you stop complaining I can take you to Lady Tsunade to see if she'll accept it!"
"YAY!" Peter suddenly hopped off and skipped off happily, the others embarrassed as they followed him.
"This is gonna be more fun then when Bowser taught Language Arts!" Chris exclaimed.
---
All children were talking to each other but stopped as Bowser came in wearing a pair of glasses.
"Alright, you ass-lickers! Shut up, AND LOOK AT ME!"
"....."
"Now, because you all failed in kidnapping Princess Peach and killing Mario-your gonna be listening to me while I read a poem by Edgar Allen Poe, or else I can get the Goomba's to hang you!"
"Awwww..."
"WHAT THE &*%$ DID I JUST SAY!?"
He held up a book, and squinted in it.
"This guy emo or something? Screw this! You all get recess!"
"But we're in middle school-"
"I SAID RECESS DAMMIT!"
"HOORAY...?"
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End of chapter 3! A little more cursing, a bit longer, but I hope you like it. I have nothing against Edgar Allen Poe. BUT I DO WITH HSM. And it's always been a funny joke with my friend and I if Bowser was to ever teach LA. I'll get 4 up whenevs!