Disclaimer, Pairing, Content, Rating & Spoilers: See chapter 1.
A/N: Firstly, apologies for taking a while to get this written – I was away last week and got nothing done so now I'm trying desperately to catch up! Also, now that 'Waterloo' has aired (sob!) it's clear that this fic doesn't really fit so I guess I should re-brand it as AU. Anyways, hope you enjoy and thanks so much for reading!
From: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
To: Dr Grace Foley
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 10.03pm
Subject: ...
Ok, so it's more than 2 hours later and I've heard nothing from you – I've totally blown this, haven't I? Please, Grace...just drop me a line; whatever you've got to say, I can deal with but when you stop talking, I get worried. I've told you that before and I mean it.
Boyd
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Dr Grace Foley
To: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 11.23pm
Subject: RE: ...
What did you expect, Boyd? You drop this huge bomb on me completely out of the blue and think I'll respond within five minutes? Almost 10 years we've been skirting around this and it takes you until we can't talk face to face before you'll be honest with me. I'm not sure that constitutes a solid foundation for anything.
Grace
Dr Grace Foley, Ph.D., BA (hons.)
Behavioural Profiler
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
To: Dr Grace Foley
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 11.29pm
Subject: RE: RE: ...
Are you angry with me, then? Bloody hell, Grace, you know how crap I am with this sort of thing – I don't exactly have a glowing track record when it comes to relationships and the like. Should I not have said anything? Delete it from your inbox if you like and we can fall back into our shroud of denial. It's unlikely we'll ever work together again so it's not as if you need to worry about it being awkward in the office.
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Dr Grace Foley
To: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 11.40pm
Subject: RE: RE: RE: ...
Shroud of denial? Coming from you? And of course we'll work together again, don't be so bloody fatalistic – you know damn well that in all likelihood the hearing will find in your favour. I know a lot of people at the Met are against you, Boyd, but you've also got a lot of support, and the fact is that you did nothing wrong.
Anyway, I'm getting off topic (defence mechanism, perhaps?) – I don't want to argue. I don't want to delete your email. I don't want to pretend you didn't say anything. I'm just...floored by where it's all come from and why you haven't said anything before, that's all.
G
Dr Grace Foley, Ph.D., BA (hons.)
Behavioural Profiler
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
To: Dr Grace Foley
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 11.47pm
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: ...
"I'm just...floored by where it's all come from and why you haven't said anything before, that's all."
Are you joking? You really had no idea? Grace, we've spent years perfecting the art of flirtation, haven't we, or was it all one-sided on my part? As to why I've never said anything before...there just never seemed to be a right time – we've both got complicated histories and bloody demanding jobs. Plus I've never really had the time to sit and think properly about what I want, and suddenly all I have are time and thoughts. Does that make sense?
Boyd
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Dr Grace Foley
To: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 11.54pm
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: ...
Of course it wasn't all one-sided. I just...I thought it was purely circumstantial – I've been the only woman about your age in the team since the beginning...plus you're not my boss...and we're very different in terms of personality. That gives a lot of scope for back-and-forth. I just didn't think I was your type, Boyd. Honestly – can you blame me?
"Plus I've never really had the time to sit and think properly about what I want, and suddenly all I have are time and thoughts. Does that make sense?"
It does. I just wish you'd waited until we can meet before launching into something so dramatic over e-mail.
G
Dr Grace Foley, Ph.D., BA (hons.)
Behavioural Profiler
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
To: Dr Grace Foley
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 12.01am
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: ...
"I just didn't think I was your type, Boyd. Honestly – can you blame me?"
I'm trying desperately hard not to groan my frustration into my coffee cup here. At the risk of sounding like a walking cliché – Intelligent isn't my type? Witty isn't my type? Attractive isn't my type? Jesus Christ, Grace, wise up.
Boyd
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Dr Grace Foley
To: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 12.11am
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: ...
There are many facets to attractiveness, Boyd. We're like chalk and cheese in terms of our natures, although I'm not necessarily saying that's a bad thing when it comes to complementary compatibility. It's...Well, it's the rest of it that surprises me, frankly, the other aspects of attraction. I really had no idea you saw me in those terms.
G
Dr Grace Foley, Ph.D., BA (hons.)
Behavioural Profiler
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
To: Dr Grace Foley
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 12.25am
Subject: ?
In terms of what? Are we talking about physical/sexual attraction here? Please, Grace, it's late and I'm a man – you've got to keep it simple for me.
Boyd
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Dr Grace Foley
To: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 12.32am
Subject: RE: ?
Yes, Boyd, that's what I'm talking about. Neither of which I thought were particularly applicable in our situation. That's the kind of attraction that was obvious between you and Sarah Levin, or between you and Greta Simpson, or I'm assuming between you and Jess Worrall. I was serious when I said before that you have a penchant for younger women. I've got nearly five years on you. I'm a grandmother. I'm about the furthest from stereotypically attractive as you can get and I haven't felt even remotely sexy in years. Does that shed some light on my scepticism?
G
Dr Grace Foley, Ph.D., BA (hons.)
Behavioural Profiler
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
To: Dr Grace Foley
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 12.41am
Subject: RE: RE: ?
"I've got nearly five years on you. I'm a grandmother."
Both completely irrelevant points as far as I'm concerned.
"I'm about the furthest from stereotypically attractive as you can get and I haven't felt even remotely sexy in years."
At the risk of repeating myself, stereotypical attractiveness is irrelevant, Grace – it's all in the eye of the beholder, isn't it? Look, the bottom line is that I find you attractive, in every sense of the word, alright? And I can only think of one way to convince you of my sincerity, something that isn't entirely practical via email...
Boyd
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Dr Grace Foley
To: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 12.57am
Subject: RE: RE: RE: ?
What would that be, then? Is this another occasion where I need to use my imagination? Oh, seriously, Boyd – how much whiskey have you drunk tonight?
G
Dr Grace Foley, Ph.D., BA (hons.)
Behavioural Profiler
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
To: Dr Grace Foley
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 1.03am
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: ?
Because I could only say these things to you if I was drunk? For Christ's sake, Grace, what do you take me for? I'm absolutely stone-cold sober and I know exactly what it is that I'm saying. Stop bloody deflecting/projecting/transferring (delete pointless psychological term as appropriate) and just accept it. And by the way, would it kill you to let me know if this is at all reciprocated?
Boyd
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Dr Grace Foley
To: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 1.17am
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: ?
So, what exactly are you saying, then? That you'd like to take me to bed for...what? Meaningless casual sex? Mutually convenient sex? Or are we actually talking (and I use the term loosely) about real feelings here?
My God, Boyd, when I sent you that email...was it really only yesterday?...to check you were alright, I never imagined for one moment that we'd end up discussing this. How is it that neither of us has ever had the guts to bring it up on one of those countless occasions over the years when we could have done?
G
Dr Grace Foley, Ph.D., BA (hons.)
Behavioural Profiler
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
To: Dr Grace Foley
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 1.26am
Subject: For fuck's sake!
Any kind of sex suits me. But in my experience it's always more fulfilling when there are feelings involved and there's absolutely no question about feelings where we're concerned, is there? Or have I read you completely wrongly over the years? For fuck's sake, Grace, I'm actually getting pretty pissed off here – of course it wouldn't just be some tawdry shag, how could you even ask that?
"How is it that neither of us has ever had the guts to bring it up on one of those countless occasions over the years when we could have done?"
Because there was always a reason not to – ex-wives, deceased husbands, missing sons...the list is endless. Not to mention the fact that I don't think either of us wanted to jeopardise our professional relationship. Well, I've got to the point where I'm thinking...fuck the consequences, it's now or never and I don't want to carry on for the next ten years like we have been for the past ten.
You still haven't addressed my point about reciprocation.
Boyd
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Dr Grace Foley
To: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 1.33am
Subject: RE: For fuck's sake!
Boyd, I agree with you wholeheartedly – sex is always infinitely better when it means something beyond the physical. Of course I didn't honestly think you were talking about a 'tawdry shag' (as you so delicately put it), it's just...it's always been so bloody complicated between us, hasn't it? Over the years we've taken one step towards each other followed by two steps away and I can't help wondering if we're somewhat doomed to perpetually repeat the cycle. I don't want to carry on like that either but you've got to admit, it's kind of become a holding pattern for us. And sex could add a whole new layer of complexity, not necessarily for the better.
As for reciprocation...do you really have to ask? There's no question, Boyd. But equally...I finally feel like we've healed after a couple of pretty shaky years and I don't want to do anything to jeopardise that. You're my friend. See my comment about sex above.
G
Dr Grace Foley, Ph.D., BA (hons.)
Behavioural Profiler
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
To: Dr Grace Foley
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 1.40am
Subject: RE: RE: For fuck's sake!
"And sex could add a whole new layer of complexity, not necessarily for the better."
Or it could absolutely be for the better. Come on, Grace, how many times over the years have you wondered what it would be like? Jesus, I've lost track of the number of days I got home from the office and headed straight for a cold shower.
I don't want to screw anything up either but equally...what's life without a little risk now and again? I don't mean to make light of this; I'm fully aware that if it goes wrong it could cost us our friendship but, Grace...don't you think we'd be fucking idiots not to try?
Boyd
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Dr Grace Foley
To: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 1.48am
Subject: RE: RE: RE: For fuck's sake!
Of course I've wondered what it would be like. But...to say it's been a long time for me would be a gross understatement, Boyd, and that makes me feel...vulnerable, I suppose, despite being old enough to know better. When you add that to my uncertainty about whether a relationship between us would actually work in the long-term...Oh God, I don't know what I'm saying, really. I think I need to go home and get to bed.
G
Dr Grace Foley, Ph.D., BA (hons.)
Behavioural Profiler
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
To: Dr Grace Foley
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 1.52am
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: For fuck's sake!
"I think I need to go home and get to bed."
Don't you dare wimp out on me. Make yourself a coffee, use matchsticks on your eyelids, I don't care but we're going to keep at this until we've sorted it, alright?
Do you really think I'm immune from the same vulnerability? The last person I slept with was Sarah (Levin, don't start with the Sarah Cavendish crap again) and that was years ago. And arguably it wasn't the wisest thing I've ever done in my life. So if you think that I'm out every weekend shagging my way around London, you're wildly off the mark, Grace. It doesn't matter to me whether your most recent partner was within the last year or the last decade or the last two decades – it's that old adage about riding a bike, isn't it? And yes, I'm aware that that isn't the best metaphor and no, I'm most certainly not calling you a bike.
You know, what? Consequences be damned – just get in your car and get over here. Right now. I need to see you, Grace. I need to show you just how fucking serious I am.
Boyd
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Dr Grace Foley
To: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 2.03am
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: For fuck's sake!
Despite what I said before about being face to face, Peter, I don't think it's a good idea – aside from your career being at stake, I think we both know what would happen if I turned up at your place just at the moment. Rushing headlong into bed together before we've worked out whether we're on the same page is just a recipe for disaster in my experience. I wasn't exaggerating when I said it's been a long time for me and I think I need to come to terms with all of this before I can go there physically. Not to mention emotionally. Does that all make sense?
G
x
Dr Grace Foley, Ph.D., BA (hons.)
Behavioural Profiler
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
To: Dr Grace Foley
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 2.09am
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: For fuck's sake!
Christ, you're a tease. All this talk of sex is raising my blood pressure, Grace, as well as my frustration level. It's not a foregone conclusion that I'd lose the ability to control myself if you were to come over, you know. Jesus, I've done it for the last ten years, haven't I? My balls are such a permanent shade of blue that I'm used to it by now. Seriously, though; I don't want to pressure you. We can take it at whatever speed you like. I just want to see you, Grace.
Boyd
x
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Dr Grace Foley
To: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 2.13am
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: For fuck's sake!
Blue balls, Boyd? How is it that even in the midst of discussing something so serious and potentially life-changing you still have the power to make me laugh? I'm not trying to be a tease – God, even the notion sounds ridiculous to me – I just need to be sure that it wouldn't be a mistake. Lay it on the line for me, Boyd – what exactly is it that you want?
x
Dr Grace Foley, Ph.D., BA (hons.)
Behavioural Profiler
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
To: Dr Grace Foley
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 2.19am
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: For fuck's sake!
In a word? You. Physically, sexually, emotionally and in any other bloody touchy-feely word sort of a way. For God's sake, you're not actually going to make me use the 'L' word, are you?
x
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Dr Grace Foley
To: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 2.23am
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: For fuck's sake!
And what 'L' word would that be, then?
x
Dr Grace Foley, Ph.D., BA (hons.)
Behavioural Profiler
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
To: Dr Grace Foley
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 2.27am
Subject:
Oh, Grace, you can be such a bloody obtuse pain in the arse when you want to be – you know damn well what I mean. Come over, why don't you?
x
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Dr Grace Foley
To: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 2.34am
Subject: RE:
I'm exhausted, Boyd. If I do come over it's going to be for talking and sleep, alright? 'L' word or no 'L' word.
x
Dr Grace Foley, Ph.D., BA (hons.)
Behavioural Profiler
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
To: Dr Grace Foley
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 2.40am
Subject: RE: RE:
Fine. I'm knackered too so we can leave the sex until the morning. I'm joking, of course, before you go off on one.
Get in the car, Grace.
x
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Dr Grace Foley
To: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 2.46am
Subject: RE: RE: RE:
I don't know...I've always been partial to that particular method of being woken up. Keep using the 'L' word, Boyd, and you never know your luck. I just need to get my stuff together and I'll get going.
x
Dr Grace Foley, Ph.D., BA (hons.)
Behavioural Profiler
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
To: Dr Grace Foley
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 2.49am
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE:
Oh, really? I'll store that useful piece of information away for future reference, then. Come on, Grace – twenty minutes and I'm locking the front door.
x
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Dr Grace Foley
To: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 2.53am
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE:
Alright, alright. Twenty minutes and I'm all yours.
xx
Dr Grace Foley, Ph.D., BA (hons.)
Behavioural Profiler
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
To: Dr Grace Foley
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 2.58am
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE:
I'll hold you to that. Hopefully for the rest of your life.
xx
Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
From: Dr Grace Foley
To: Det. Supt. Peter Boyd
Date: Fri, Apr 15 2011 at 3.05am
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE:
Needless to say, Boyd...I'm counting on it.
xx
Dr Grace Foley, Ph.D., BA (hons.)
Behavioural Profiler
Cold Case Unit
8-10 Glenthorne Rd.
London W6 0LP
FIN