It was one of the hardest things, waiting in the car as they drove to Yamada's house, the doctor who had Haru, who kidnapped Makoto's childhood friend and love. It seemed like time had slowed and every second was an hour. It was driving Makoto insane. A thin coat of nervous sweat already covered his skin and he felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest any second, so many questions rushed through his head and he was excited yet terrified of what he would find. He had no clue what state he'd find Haru in, how damaged Haru may be, if he'd even recognize Makoto anymore…
Five years could change a lot of things and in Haru's situation, it changed everything, Makoto didn't even have to see him to know it was true. He knew that no matter what there was bound to be physical damage but the psychological damage is what Makoto was most worried about. He had no clue how extensive and serious it could be, but deep down he knew it would be bad, even if he didn't want to admit it. It would be impossible for extensive psychological damage not to exist when Haru was taken away from everything he knew.
God, Makoto prayed Haru hadn't been hurt. Even though he knew the chances were practically zero, he wanted to keep hope, he wanted no harm to be done to Haru. He was terrified to find out what really did happen to Haruka over the years, if he had been hurt, if he hated Makoto for everything, if he wasn't going to recover…
Makoto wouldn't forgive himself if he got there too late, if Haru was too far gone or if he was even…. He couldn't even think of the word in his head, it only caused a sharp pain in his chest, to think of the possibility of Haru being no more.
"I um… I told Sousuke we wouldn't be back for a while… He's going to wait at your house until we call him back with the good news." Rin said, breaking the silence in the car as if he picked up on Makoto's inner turmoil. He could tell Rin was trying to sound confident, if he really was, though, was a mystery.
"What if we don't have good news?" Makoto asked hesitantly, his voice quiet as it finally sunk in how realistic the thought was. Now he had made it so far, he had finally found Haru's kidnapper, yet… He didn't want to go anywhere near the house… He was terrified to see what they would find in there.
Rin tensed at the question and took a quick glance at Makoto before turning back to the road so he could keep them on the road as they drove, the last thing they needed was to get in an accident.
"What? Now you're deciding to have negative thoughts like this? Don't you give up your hope now… If it wasn't for it we might've never found where Haru was taken." Rin said, his voice was doubtful though, as if he thought Makoto was right and something bad did happen to Haru.
"Just… There's no way Haru wasn't hurt… And considering he's been gone for five years…. A-A lot could've happened to him…He… Might not even be himself anymore… Or worse… He might not be breathing anymore…" Makoto mumbled quietly, the fear in his voice evident. He couldn't help but worry now, when everything was right in front of him, finally it seem things were laid out for him to see… To see all the possibilities and how hopeful he had been thinking he could find Haru with nothing wrong.
"Hey. Don't say that." Rin said sternly, his grip on the steering wheel tighter. Makoto was slightly surprised by the tone, though it did get Makoto to shut up. Rin let out a small sigh, his tense demeanor fading away as he gave Makoto a small smile.
"Don't turn your back on this now. We have just a small ways to go…" Rin said in a reassuring way. Makoto sighed and just made a small nod, even if he was worried he knew he had to calm down and just focus on the task at hand, finding Haru.
They pulled up to the house and Makoto felt as though his heart stopped. This was it.
The doctor lived in a large house, one that probably gave him more than enough space to kidnap victims… It made Makoto feel sick. He got out of the car and had a hand over his gun, he looked to Rin as he got out of the car as well.
"Back up should be here soon… We should try to cover all house exits though." Makoto said, the red head nodded in agreeance as he took out his own gun.
"I'll cover the back, you get the front." Rin said, carefully going around the back of the house. Makoto quietly stepped up the front steps, not wanting to alert the doctor that they were there. He knew they'd have to go in before back up came. There was no way Makoto could just wait inside when he knew Haru had to be in there. The kidnapping was exactly the same, the only change is this time evidence was left behind.
Rin shined his flashlight around the corner so Makoto could know he was in place. Makoto chewed his lip and took in a shaky breath, preparing himself to meet whatever nightmare laid inside this house… That was until Rin called over to him.
"Makoto, I saw him, let's go now!" He ordered and Makoto could hear the door being kicked in on the other end of the house. Makoto's eyes widened and he swallowed his fear, he needed to focus. Breaking the door open, Makoto went inside and aimed his gun as he scoped out the room.
"Clear." He called to Rin, going through the room as he went to meet up with his friend. Rin seemed to have already looked around the room he was in and hadn't found anything, though there was a stair case behind him as well as a door that seemed to lead to the basement.
"Yamada, this is the police, as you already know, now just come out and make this easier for us. You aren't getting out of this." Makoto said, he was about to suggest to split up until he saw a figure coming down the stairs with a bat, he tensed and aimed his gun.
"Rin, behind you!" He warned, the red head quickly turned around and aimed his gun at the figure. Makoto recognized the man, it was the doctor, with long blonde hair and dark eyes that Makoto wasn't sure he'd ever forget. It took all of Makoto's will power not to beat the man in front of him senseless.
Rin seemed just as eager to hurt the man, just unlike Makoto he had less restraint. He hit the man aside the head with his gun, effectively knocking the doctor out with a growl.
"Makoto, you go find them. I'll watch over this prick." Rin said roughly, pure hatred in his eyes. Makoto could understand it as he felt the same hatred for this man who took away their friend. He wanted nothing more than to kill the fucker… But that would be too easy of a way out. He wanted Dr. Aito Yamada to suffer.
With a small nod, Makoto turned away, he had much more important things to focus on. He had to find Haru and the other victim. He debated where he should check first until he heard a voice from the basement. His breath caught in his throat and he quickly went to the door.
Haru heard two loud bangs, he knew the doctor was downstairs but didn't know what had caused the loud noises, it only made him more nervous. The other victim had long since woken up and having seen the condition Haru was in, got a hint of what lied in store for them… Haru wished no more souls had to get tangled up in this web of misery… He wished he could be the last one his captor hurt, though he knew that hope was childish.
When Haru heard a voice yell out it was the police his eyes widened. He had to look at the other victim to realize this was real. Their relieved expression was enough to tell him so. The police had found them…. Had come to save them. The thought was shocking to Haru as he never thought he'd be saved. A mixture of emotions filled him…. Just when he was so prepared to give up his life….
Tears began to fall down his face, he didn't realize until he felt the liquid falling onto his lap. His body felt numb, the realization sinking in that this might be done, he might be taken out of this house, there might be hope. Haru was never going to fully believe it until he was out of here since he was let down too many times, but he couldn't help himself from shaking in nervous anticipation, waiting to find if someone would come get them.
There were muffled voices, but Haru heard someone say 'go find them'…. Haru looked up to where he knew the basement door was, his eyes wide and his breath shaky, he knew he had to try and speak up, give indication that they were here, but he felt as though his voice was betraying him. He felt as if the world was betraying him. Haru wasn't sure if he really wanted to be saved anymore, now that it became real he just… Couldn't help but think of all his baggage, all the memories that would live with him after this… Would he really be able to be alright being tortured by them?
And where would he go after this? Was there anyone out there who really cared about him and wanted him back? Would anyone be okay with Haru being dependent on them? He had always tried to be independent before… But now he knew he would never be able to rely on himself… He was so weak… So cold… So broken and used… He was in no state to be able to care for himself, he was practically dead already…
Was it really worth it?
"We're down here!" The other victim yelled out, startling Haru and definitely alerting the police to their location… There was no going back, Haru assumed… He'd just have to continue trying to survive and see what happened next.
Makoto put his hand on the doorknob and slowly twisted it open, the basement was dark, only a dull light illuminating the area. Makoto turned his flashlight on as he began down the stairs, each one creaking under his weight. The basement smelt terrible a mixture of mold, chemicals, and something else Makoto couldn't place. He reached the bottom step and swallowed nervously, unsure as to what he would find down here.
He took a couple steps when his light flashed onto a man tied to a pole on the floor, he didn't look harmed which gave Makoto the assumption that this was the new victim. He saw a bed by the pole but didn't yet look at it, he knew that what he would see there wouldn't be good… So before freezing and being overwhelmed with emotions, he leaned down to untie the first victim.
"There's an officer upstairs… Go see him…" Makoto said quietly, his voice unable to be any louder as he was terrified to look and see what became of Haru. The victim looked towards where the bed was then to Makoto, making sure the officer knew about what was there before nodding and heading upstairs. With a shaky breath, Makoto stood and very hesitantly shined his light on the bed…
It was Haru alright. The piercing blue eyes were enough to be able to tell, Makoto would never be able to forget them, though he looked so different… His eyes were hollow now, filled with so much obvious pain and sadness, his skin was a sickly grey and his hair was chopped up and matted. It was obvious that the doctor hadn't kept Haru clean… What terrified Makoto even more was Haru's body, he looked like a skeleton, the doctor seemed to have barely fed him, and on top of that Haru's body was covered in cuts and bruises, many of them accumulating around his waist…
"Oh my god….H-Haru…" Makoto whispered, it felt as if a nightmare materialized in the form of his best friend… All Makoto could do was walk to the bedside and fall on his knees beside his love… He just stared, wondering how anyone could do this. Haru was the most beautiful person he knew but now…. No. He couldn't think like that. He ran a shaky hand through Haru's hair, ignoring how it got caught multiple times, he just needed to touch the other and feel this was real, Haru was alive.
"…M-Makoto?" Haru asked, his voice quiet and shaky as if even talking hurt him. Haru looked so fragile… Makoto was terrified to break him.
"I-I'm here Haru… I-I'm so sorry…" Makoto whispered, finally grabbing Haru's restraints and beginning to untie him, he kept repeating apologies, just needing to fill this silence somehow, needing to say something that could possibly take away a little bit of the otherwise extraordinary pain that he knew Haru must be feeling.
"I'm going to get you out of here, H-Haru. Can…Can you walk? Or do you need me to carry you?" He asked quietly, eyeing Haru as he spoke. Haru sat up, seeming to have an extreme amount of difficulty with even that.
"I-I need help…" Haru said, he faced the ground as though he was ashamed of it, though Makoto didn't feel it was his fault at all.
Makoto made a small nod as he didn't trust his voice not to crack at a time like this. Makoto slowly and carefully slid his hands under Haru's body, being as gentle as possible as he was afraid the slightest touch would break him. Makoto picked Haru up and was shocked at just how light Haru had become since Makoto had last seen him, he felt like he was barely lifting anything at all.
Just what the hell did he do to him?
Makoto had to shake off that thought, he couldn't think about that right now, his primary focus was to get Haru somewhere safe, far, far away from that goddamn basement. With Haru bridal style in his arms, he carried him up the stairs, holding Haru's head against his chest as though he was protecting Haru from anything that could harm him. He knew the other was scared and confused, of course he would be after five years of hell and seeing everything around him change. He was sure that Haru never expected him and Rin to be the ones to save him…
Makoto found Rin in the kitchen, the doctor was handcuffed on the floor and the victim was sitting in a chair as he was being questioned to find if he was alright. Makoto looked to Rin, who, when seeing the two, perked up with wide eyes. Makoto shared a look of relief, finally finding Haru, but also the unspoken agreement that this was so fucked up hung in the air. He was at a loss of words after everything that happened so he just settled for a nod. He was glad Rin knew not to ask questions right now, he would definitely inform his friend after just… Right now was a time for ensuring Haru's safety and trying to calm him down.
Makoto could feel Haru's small weight tense and become even smaller, seeing the doctor alone must have brought up every single moment of the past five years as if they just occurred… He held Haru slightly closer, just wishing he could replace Haru's trembling with peace, though it was a naïve hope.
The backup appeared, and though they were late, they could deal with the doctor properly, after speaking a little to everyone, the doctor was brought into one of the troopers. Makoto relaxed and continued to hold Haru close to himself, the other seemed to calm as well when the doctor was out of his sight.
"You should bring him to the hospital." Rin said, the other victim was going to go too, though only for a small checkup as he felt fine and didn't seem to have any damage. Makoto nodded in agreement.
"Yeah… Will you be coming with us?" He asked quietly after a moment, Haru in the meantime just clung onto Makoto and stayed quiet, his eyes closed as if he was trying to block out everything around him. Rin smiled sadly and shook his head.
"I'll come see you two after but I should go back and tell the chief about everything that happened… Sousuke also will want to see me. Anyways, I think he should be given some time to calm down before he's surrounded by a bunch of people. I know you'll do fine watching over him." Rin said. Makoto chewed his lip and nodded, going to leave but pausing and turning back to Rin.
"Thank you… For everything." He said, giving the other a grateful smile for sticking by him through the past dreaded five years.
After, he glanced down and locked eyes with Haru, forest green meeting ocean blue. He tried to think of something, anything to say, but his mind found nothing. Many of his social skills having all but disappeared during his jaded years. Instead of speaking, Makoto decided to show his feelings through action, he pressed his forehead against Haru's, the other's shaky weak breath hitting his face but it seemed to have comforted him slightly.
He pulled away after a moment and left the house, he could feel Haru shaking in his arms though whether it was from emotions or being cold Makoto was unsure. He could see tears falling down his friends face and he realized how emotional this must be, Haru had never thought he'd be outside getting fresh air again… It was obvious Haru had expected to die down there but now was finding himself free, free from the restraints, free from the basement, and free from the doctor. Now, though, there was an overwhelming fear…. One that took form in questions like 'What's next?'
Makoto opened the door to the backseat and carefully laid him down across the seats. He went to his trunk and brought a fuzzy blanket back to Haru, promptly placing it on top of the other. He knew how much the other was bound to be nervous and scared after leaving something so terrible, after finally becoming free.
"Just… Hang on for a little longer… I-I'm going to find someone to help you." Makoto promised before shutting the door and getting to the driver's side. Once behind the wheel he turned his emergency lights on, driving as fast as he could so he could get Haru help, his friend's health his top priority. Laws be damned, they didn't help Haru before and they certainly weren't going to stop Makoto from doing what he needed to do. Haru seemed quiet as they drove, too weak to even speak, and Makoto was terrified for the other's health.
After arriving to the hospital everything was a blur. Haru was put on a gurney and the doctors went to wheel him away, though once they did Haru became livelier than he had before, screaming and squirming… It felt as though Makoto was stabbed through the heart at the obvious fear that had struck Haru. It seemed the other was terrified of being away from Makoto and Makoto didn't blame him… After being kept in that hell for five years, Makoto wouldn't want to be surrounded by strangers either, but Makoto knew he couldn't do anything, he had to let the doctors take him so they could help him. The doctors had to give Haru a sedative so they could calm him down and work with him.
As he waited, his leg jiggled, a nervous habit he had for as long as he could remember. He could use some coffee now as the rush of energy before was draining away, leaving him exhausted with a headache. He thought about a lot of things while he waited, wondering how Haru managed to stay sane during his time in the basement and how different things were from when they were kids.
The waiting room was silent, like expected, the atmosphere was heavy with worry. People waiting on surgery results, hunched over praying for good results. The expecting fathers, nervous and checking the clock every second, they were the lucky ones of the bunch. Then there were people like Makoto, the people who knew someone that wasn't completely whole but didn't know the exact problem or extent of the damage. They were the most unlucky because they were almost entirely in the dark. The ones terrified to find out the extent of the damage.
A nurse came out after about five hours, which to Makoto might as well have been days of painful silence and worry. Her face was sympathetic and gave Makoto no reassurance to the situation at hand. Makoto stood up from his seat as he approached her, possibilities of worst case scenario running through his mind, like what if Haru was going to die? Or what if he did die?
"I'll be honest… It's a miracle Nanase is even alive." The nurse starting, letting out a small sigh as she looked down to the clip board. This both filled Makoto with hope and fear, knowing Haru was still breathing but… Wasn't okay. Far from it actually.
"He's severely malnourished and practically starved, we hooked him up to IVs but it's going to take a while before he's a healthy weight and has his full strength. He lost a lot of muscle and so should do some small exercises during the day to try and slowly get it back when he's feeling better, though he shouldn't push himself too hard. He has multiple broken bones, a missing kidney, appendix, and spleen. Because of this he will be more prone to infections. He had to also get some stitches in different areas due to deep cuts… For now, he should rest…" She said, Makoto's eyes widened hearing the list of things and he let out a shaky breath. He couldn't believe any of this happened to Haru and this was all sinking in.
"…I-Is… Is there anything else…?" Makoto asked hesitantly, looking at the nurse who frowned and shook her head.
"I wish it was but… We had to administer a rape kit test… During his time he was kidnapped, Nanase was raped multiple times… More than he can even count." She said, her voice quiet as she delivered the bad news to Makoto. The olive haired male couldn't help but freeze in place, every word finally sinking its sharp claws into Makoto's mind.
Starved. Broken bones. Missing organs. Raped.
It felt as though he couldn't quite comprehend the words, a wall crumbling down as the brutal reality broke through and Makoto couldn't ignore what the nurse said. He felt as though he was drowning in the truth. His best friend had been abused, tortured, and it was his fault because he had taken so long to find him. It was his fault because he hadn't told Haru that he loved him. It was his fault because it was his fault Haru left the house that night in the first place.
Never had he thought Haru would be in this position, hurt this badly, it was no wonder Haru cried when he was taken out of the basement… He'd have to live with those memories for the rest of his life. Makoto couldn't imagine how that felt, it made him feel sick to his stomach thinking of the horror Haru had been through and he was truly shocked that Haru did actually make it.
Guilt overwhelmed Makoto, it felt as though all the breath was taken out of him, knowing that Haru's condition, everything that happened to him, was all due to that misunderstanding five years ago. He just didn't understand why he hadn't said anything. Why he had let Haru run. Why he hadn't taken the many opportunities he had before that to tell him! Why did he have to be such a coward?! Haru suffered because of him!
"Can…Can I see him…?" Makoto asked, his voice shaking as he spoke, he was filled with so much sadness and self-hatred, he couldn't stop the waver.
"Yes, he may be tired because of the medicine and everything that happened, but I think he'll be comforted to see you. He'll have to stay here tonight." The nurse said and went to lead Makoto off.
Makoto followed, his body feeling numb as he followed her to Haru's room. The nurse knocked on the door and let Makoto in before closing the door behind him. As Makoto looked ahead of him, he couldn't help but feel his heart sink. Haru looked absolutely miniscule, he was surrounded by beeping machines, each monitor showing yet another thing wrong with Haru and the IVs just reminded Makoto a lot of chains, tying him down. Under this light, the bruises looked more horrifying. The black, blue, and purple contrasted immensely with Haru's sickly pale gray skin.
Makoto began to walk over, he noticed Haru's dull blue eyes following him the entire time. When he got to Haru's bedside he sat down in one of the hospital chairs.
"Hey…" He greeted, his voice quiet as if afraid that any louder would break the fragile Haru. The blue eyes looked away for a moment before looking back at him, Haru's stoic face trying to hide his emotions though Makoto could see the fear and exhaustion.
"H-Hi…" Haru said with a raspy voice, Makoto couldn't imagine the pain he was in right now… Makoto went to grab Haru's hand to comfort the other, make him feel slightly better in this foreign place, but he decided against it and placed his hand next to Haru's instead, close enough for comfort but not making anything weird.
"Haru, you… You have no idea how happy I am to see you again…" Makoto blurted out, his voice holding a slight waver to it. He mentally cursed himself, afraid he'd upset Haru or seem like a big baby, but instead it seemed Haru's eyes softened slightly, holding slight surprise but relaxation at the news.
"I-I honestly thought everyone gave up on searching for me…" He said quietly, the words piercing Makoto's heart though he knew they weren't intended to. Haru really felt that way, it pained Makoto but now he could prove how wrong Haru was.
"I never gave up hope for you Haru…" Makoto admitted, giving Haru a small, comforting smile. Haru's reaction seemed one of shock and Makoto couldn't understand why. Did Haru really think Makoto would give up on him? Forget him and not try to find him…? Makoto though Haru would know by now that Makoto would never let go of Haru… But five years could do a lot to a person including messing with their perception of things.
Haru looked away from Makoto and quiet filled the space between them, Makoto wasn't sure what to say, he had become so withdrawn over the years that his ability to bring a calming lull of conversation had all but disappeared. He had no clue what he could and couldn't say around Haru, the last thing he wanted to do was upset the other though so he would play it safe and be silent if he had to… Haru seemed to be lost in his own world anyways, deep in thought about things Makoto was sure haunted his best friend.
"How long do I have to be here…?" Haru asked after about ten minutes, breaking the silence between the two, much to Makoto's relief. He worried about Haru and the only way to know the other wasn't trapped in the nightmare of his own mind was by talking to the other and keeping him distracted with conversation.
"The doctor said you'll be staying here tonight… After that I was thinking, you'll need a place to stay, so… You can come live with me if you'd like…" Makoto suggested softly, he watched as Haru's eyes widened, his head turning away as he didn't seem too ecstatic.
"I-I'd…I'd only be a burden." Haru's voice was bitter as he spoke which surprised Makoto. He hadn't expected Haru to say something bad about himself like that nor did he expect the self-loathing tone along with it.
"Haru, you could never be a burden to me… You took care of me for so long, now it's just my turn to take care of you." Makoto said softly, knowing that he couldn't screw this up and leave Haru believing that he really was a burden. Yes, Haru would need care and attention, a lot more than ever before, but not once did Makoto mind. He wanted to care for Haru and after what happened he felt as though he should be the one to do it, given it was his fault.
Haru's gaze was doubtful, but Makoto just smiled and gently patted Haru's leg, trying to reassure him it was okay. Haru let out a shaky sigh and looked away.
"…Okay." He said quietly, Makoto relaxed hearing Haru agreeing to this. He knew Haru was messed up now but Makoto would do everything in his power to get things as normal as possible, he'd find a way to confess to Haru, to right the wrong he made many years ago, and he'd work to take away as much pain away from Haru as possible. He would protect Haru from ever being harmed again.
"You should rest…" Makoto said, already taking on the role of Haru's caretaker. He seemed so tired, Makoto doubted Haru ever got a good night rest, but now he could sleep in peace knowing that he wouldn't return to that damn basement, he was safe now.
Haru just made a small nod at that and tried to find a way to be comfortable. Makoto watched over him the whole time and when the doctor came in to check the monitors, Makoto convinced him to let Makoto stay the night. No one really wanted to deal with a panicked Haru, so Makoto being there to keep Haru down was a blessing to them. They brought in a cot for Makoto and let him sleep by Haru's bedside.
Haru seemed appreciative as well, Makoto already assumed he wouldn't want to be alone and was proven right as Haru insisted Makoto's cot be as close to the hospital bed as possible. Haru's nervousness at the matter filled Makoto with an overwhelming sense of protectiveness and he stayed awake, comforting Haru until the other fell asleep.
He didn't mind that he barely got sleep that night, between Haru's nightmares and the doctor's coming in to check on the machines, it ended up being one of the best night's rest Makoto had in a while because he knew Haru was right there beside him and that despite the previous damage, Haru was safe now.
That night Makoto made a promise, he would stick by Haru through everything and do his best to bring a smile on the other's face. He knew it would take a long time for Haru to be truly happy again, to let go of the immense fear and pain he harbored, but Makoto didn't mind waiting. He would wait for however long Haru needed him to.