His stomach does a back flip as he allows his partner's words to settle. He swallows hard, as he stares at her. It takes every ounce of strength she has to keep herself from having a break down, right there, in their squad car. She tries to fight off the tears, but the moisture on her cheek reminds her it is futile. A lump forms in Nick's throat. He looks at his partner, and his heart sinks. He does his best not to break down and cry. He reminds himself that he has to stay strong for her. Finally he is able to formulate a coherent thought. He breaks the silence.

"I didn't know he was here in two thousand and five."

"He was."

"Why didn't you mention it? This entire time you never mentioned it."

"I couldn't."

"Why didn't he mention it?"

"He would never admit that kind of guilt."

"I could never understand why he had such a hold on you, from the very beginning. He was a creep of a different species, but he got to you. He got to all of us, but..."

"I thought that I had moved on."

"How could you ever move on?"

She shakes her head, "I saw him last weekend."

"Lewis?"

"Noah," she answers.

"Noah?"

"My son. I was on loan to the FBI. I didn't want anyone to know I was pregnant. I never told anybody. I knew I couldn't keep him."

"But?"

"All I had ever wanted was a child. At the same time I knew how my childhood was. I didn't want that for him. I thought if I could give someone else the child that they always wanted that I could live with the pain. I thought that I would be okay."

"But you're not."

"I made a mistake, a lot of them."

"You regret having him?"

"No," she shakes her head, "Not for a second."

"How can you say that?"

"Because he is the sweetest boy I have ever met in my entire life."

"You regret not keeping him for yourself?"

"Lewis is out there somewhere. What if he finds out about Noah? I won't let him turn my son into a monster."

"Liv you should have told me when we caught Lewis in the park that day. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was afraid to tell anyone."

"Why?"

"My entire life has been a lie for the past seven years. I lied to everyone, including myself," she swallows hard, "I hate feeling weak. I didn't want to admit to anyone that something like that could happen to me. I am supposed to protect other people from things like that," her facial expression twists in pain, "If I had been able to get over my damn pride, and tell the truth he wouldn't have hurt, and killed all of those other women. I am responsible for that."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am," she argues.

"He would have left town before we got him."

"I could have spoken up when we collared him in the park."

"Did you think that he wouldn't recognize you?"

"I hoped that he wouldn't."

"You pretended that you didn't recognize him, because you didn't want him to smell fear."

"I wanted to convince him that I was okay, but..." she trails off.

"You weren't."

"I'm not."

"Olivia what do you want to do about it, now?"

She shrugs, "I want to go back in time."

"But you can't."

"I just want my son."

"You can't just go in and swoop him up. You can't take him from the only home he's ever known."

"Don't you think that I know that?"

"With everything else you're dealing with right now I don't think it's a good time."

"Every single day I think about the mistake that I made. Every time I see him I remind him that I love him..." she chokes up.

"Olivia you should have told someone."

"Who? I didn't want to be a victim. I didn't want people to look at me the way that they look at me now."

"When you found him in your apartment I can't imagine what that must have been like."

"It was like a nightmare all over again. Just when I thought that I might be able to get through the day without seeing his face, there he was standing in my living room. I never wanted to be this person. I never wanted to be like her."

"Her? Who are you talking about?"

"Every day I think about how I'm turning into my mother. We made different choices, but it doesn't make us different. She couldn't let go of me, and for most of my life I couldn't understand. I couldn't understand why she wouldn't have made different choices if she really loved me. I made different choices, and I still can't let go. I have a son who... every time I think about him I fall apart."

Nick looks over at his partner, "Is that why you've been drinking?"

"I vowed not to turn out like her. Everyday I struggle just to get through the day, and... I find myself making the same mistakes that she did."

"Maybe it's time that you admit that you need help."

"I go to therapy..."

"That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean?"

"Maybe it's time that you admit to yourself that the truth is too much for you to handle on your own?"

"Why do you think that I'm telling you?"

"You regret giving him up for adoption?"

"I know his parents. I went to college with her. I know that they are good people. I know he has a really good life."

"So why isn't it enough?"

"He looks at me like he doesn't even know me, and it kills me. I tell him that I love him, and that I wanted him," she swallows hard as the tears flow freely down her cheeks, "and I don't think that he believes me."